by Layla Frost
He laughed, the sound harsh and humorless. “Run away?”
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
“For fucks sake, Harlow, it’s what you always do. Instead of staying to talk to me, your first instinct is to leave!”
I turned to face him. “No it isn’t!” I lied.
“You’re a bad fuckin’ liar.” Kase stepped back, giving me plenty of space. “I wanna tie you down and force you to talk to me, but that’s not what this is about.”
The weight that had felt so light when I was with him became magnified.
Crushing me.
Drowning me.
Choking me.
I knew his patience wouldn’t last forever, but I hadn’t realized it’d already run out. “You said you’d wait.”
“I don’t need your life story upfront. We’ve all got secrets, and I told you I’d wait ‘til you were ready to share. That’s not what this is about.”
“Then what?”
“This is about Lars coming to Hyde and getting in my fuckin’ face to ask why the fuck you’re looking at other clubs.” Opening my mouth to talk, Kase spoke over me. “Nash called for a reference.”
It took me a moment to figure out who he was talking about. “The skeevy club owner?” At Kase’s jerky nod, my brows lowered. “How did he know to call Lars?”
“It’s a small fuckin’ circle in the club world, and your name is dancing all through it. Though Nash wasn’t looking for a reference on your dancing skills.”
I shuddered. “Nasty.”
“You’ve got no fuckin’ clue, Harlow. Of all the places for you to waltz your fine ass into, you picked the worst one. By a long fuckin’ mile. Nash is a seriously bad fuckin’ guy, and you put yourself right in front of him.”
“How was I to know?”
“Why the fuck are you checking out clubs in the first place?”
“I told you I was going to.”
“That was before.”
“Before what?”
Turning around, Kase looked up and shook his head before facing me again. His eyes were intense as he watched me, his voice falsely calm. “Tell me you did not just say that.”
Realizing what I said, I tried to fix things. “I just… The thing is…”
Reaching past me, Kase threw open the door. Inhaling sharply, he softened his voice. “Knew we weren’t on the same page, but I thought we were at least on the same chapter. Now I’m thinking we aren’t even in the same book.”
Without another word, Kase jogged down the steps. By the time I realized what was happening and tried to follow, his bike roared to life.
Hurrying outside, I made it to the driveway just in time to watch him ride through the grass, out to the street.
I wonder if this is how he feels every time I run away.
*******
I was a chick with a plan.
It wasn’t a good one.
Actually, it was probably pretty weak and insufficient.
But it was something.
After waiting around as long as I could the day before, I’d left Kase’s house, feeling like an asshole. A giant, coldhearted, black souled thunderbitch.
I’d tried calling him to explain, but he wasn’t returning my calls, not that I blamed him.
I’d given him the impression that what we had meant nothing to me. In actuality, what I felt for him was stronger and more important to me than anything I’d experienced before.
I needed to tell him that.
Hence the plan.
Texting Piper early, I’d convinced her to go to lunch with me.
Going to Rye was her idea.
Like a dog with a flippin’ bone.
Too bad it’s not the bone I want.
“Hey, Rhys,” I said when I got to the bar. Leaning over, we kissed cheeks in a platonically affectionate way.
Messy dark hair, blue eyes, and dimples so deep I wanted to take shots out of them made Rhys gorgeous. He was also a kickass dude, chill and fun to be around. That was as far as it went, and I was good with that.
Though we’d obviously never discussed it, it wasn’t a secret that Rhys liked to be bossy. While I could get on board with some orders here or there, that kind of bossy wasn’t my kink.
Which was perfect, ‘cause he wasn’t the one I was into.
Now if only I could convince Piper of that.
Oh, wait, I can.
By actually talking to her.
“Beer or soda?” Rhys asked.
Thinking over my afternoon, I had a ton to do. “Root beer.”
“Burger?”
“Yeah. Extra bacon.”
“Got it.” Touching a screen to send the order to the kitchen, Rhys got my drink and brought it over. “When are you gonna come work for me?”
“We’ve been through this.”
“I know. Awkward. Unprofessional. Blah, blah, blah.” Looking past me, he grinned. “Darlin’, tell her I wouldn’t treat her any different than my other employees.”
Piper laughed as she sat on the stool next to me. “Are you kidding? You totally would. Which is why she should work here. After busting her ass, she deserves some favoritism.”
“You’re not helping. Soda or beer?”
“Coke. And a burger.”
“Extra bacon?”
“Yup.”
When Rhys went to take care of other customers, Piper turned to me. “You really should take the job. Jake said Rhys had to let go of a bunch of girls lately.”
I just smiled, but my mind was already connecting some pieces. “How’s the construction going?”
Piper’s face lit up as she told me about how the building was up and the decorators were working on their part.
After Rhys dropped off our food, we both fell silent as we dug in.
“Kase wants me to move in,” I blurted out, unable to hold it in any more.
Piper froze, fry halfway to her mouth. She slow blinked. “What?”
“He wants me to move in.”
“Like, he needs a roommate?”
Picking up a fry that I couldn’t have choked down if my life depended on it, I watched as I dipped it into ketchup. “We’ve, uhh, been seeing each other.”
“As in dating?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Like, you’re more than friends?”
“Yup.”
“Wow.” Dropping the fry, she looked shocked.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I have a hard time sharing—”
Piper snorted. “That’s the understatement of the century.”
“I guess I should say that he wanted me to move in. We kinda got in a fight yesterday about my sharing issues, and he ended up storming out.”
“He says it’s his Colombian temper. Was it bad?”
“Only because I was wrong.”
“I hate that. Are you gonna talk to him?”
I nodded. “Are you mad?”
“No!” Twisting to face me, she squeezed my arm affectionately. “Never. This is like the best news. Are you guys actually together?” She wiggled her brows. “Oh, have you guys been together?”
“No, we’ve just kissed some.”
“Wow, he moves slow. Jake was all… Jake about it.” Her content smile showed how very little she minded that.
“It’s more for my sake.”
“Are you a virgin?” Her eyes got wide as she leaned in and rushed to explain. “Sorry, that was rude. I only ask because I was when I met Jake, and I realized after that I wished I’d have been more open about it.”
“No, I’ve had sex. I mean, I’ve hit a dry spell that I think could constitute as a national emergency drought at this point. But that’s just because of how busy I’ve been. Between work and school, I haven’t had the time or energy.”
Before things got so chaotic, I had a healthy and fun sex life. Then I got too busy to date, so my Battery Operated Boyfriends did the job just fine.
I barely even had the energy for them.
<
br /> Except after dates with Kase, of course.
I was sick of the imitation, arm cramps, and hurried orgasms. I was sick of missing him all the time.
“It’s a tough balance to find,” Piper agreed.
“Even though I’ve tried to stay awake, I always end up falling asleep when I stay over.”
“You’ve stayed at his place? Isn’t it gorgeous?”
“Yeah, a couple times. It’s massive. Like, surprisingly so. What’s up with that?”
“Huh, I dunno,” she said, obviously lying. “Anyways, what’re you gonna do about the fight?”
“I’ve gotta stop running. And I’ve just decided that’s starting now.” As Rhys dropped off drink refills, I turned to him. “My schedule is a little crazy, but if I can rearrange and make it work, I’ll take the job.”
His dimpled smile held more than a little relief. “You tell me when you can work, the hours are yours. As much or as little, okay?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Rhys.”
“No, thank you. It’ll be nice to have someone reliable. Maybe I can get a five minute break.” Grabbing a rack of clean glasses, he took off to the other side of the bar.
“You’re full of surprises today,” Piper said.
“You know me, I like to keep it interesting.”
“What did you say when Kase asked you to move in?”
“He didn’t ask me so much as tell me to. Same thing, right?”
“To them it is.”
“I told him eventually I would, and it’s kind of turned into a whole thing. What do you think I should do?”
“I think you should stock up on bathing suits. You’re gonna like living near the water come summer. Until then, start collecting boxes.”
“You’re just as bad as the guys,” I said through my laughter. “I’ve actually got more I wanted to tell you, just not here.”
“My kitchen?”
Checking the time, I smiled. “Somewhere else.”
As we stood up, I breathed in a little deeper.
I’m not choking anymore.
*******
Walking into Hyde a couple hours later, my heart began to pound as I second guessed my decision. As much as I wanted to open up to Kase, the actual act of telling him seemed daunting. I suddenly felt like I had an airport’s worth of baggage.
“He’s probably in the garage. You got this,” Piper encouraged, squeezing my hand. “I’m gonna go bug Jake in his office, so if you wanna talk in my kitchen, it’s free.”
“Oh yeah, I’m sure Jake will be really irritated by the intrusion.” I inhaled deeply. “Here goes nothing.”
Or, you know, everything.
I pushed open the door to the garage, my eyes scanning the room as I entered.
Oh great, all of that buildup, and he isn’t even here.
“What’s up, Harlow?”
Startled, I jumped and looked around.
“Down here,” Kase said, chuckling as he slid out from under an insanely gorgeous car.
“Are you on one of those cool rolling pads? What’re they called? They’re like those things we played with in elementary school gym class. Those were the best. Well, you know, until you ran over your finger. Then the rainbow parachute thingy would take the lead as best gym class ever.” Realizing I’d barely paused to take a breath, I stopped and closed my eyes, shaking my head slightly. “Sorry, I, uhh, tend to babble when I’m nervous.”
By the time I opened my eyes, Kase had used his super speed to stand up.
Grabbing a towel from the hood, he wiped off his hands. “Creeper.”
“Whoa, that’s not nice. I mean, I guess sometimes I can—”
His deep, sexy laughter interrupted me. “The rolling thing is called a creeper.”
“Oh.” I looked off to the side and muttered, “So I guess that means they named it after you then.”
“That’s not really helping my inflated ego.”
“You’d take that as a compliment?”
He shrugged. “It’d still be something named after me.”
My smile faded as I took another deep breath. “I was hoping we could talk. Piper said we could use her kitchen for some privacy.”
His eyebrow went up. “Okay.”
Kase tossed the towel back on the hood and headed for the kitchen.
Following after him, I rehearsed my carefully chosen words in my head for the billionth time, making sure they eased us into the conversation.
When we got into the kitchen, Kase faced me, leaning against the table. “About yesterday, I’m sorry I bugged out—”
“My mom has Multiple Sclerosis,” I blurted out.
Smooth. Way to ease into it with some finesse.
Kase slow blinked. “Run that by me again.”
“My mom has Multiple Sclerosis. It’s a disease.”
“Yeah, I know what it is.”
“She got diagnosed when Hadley was about one. But she’d been having symptoms for a while.”
“That sucks, ipo,” he said softly, reaching out to run his fingers across my cheek.
I leaned into his touch. “Yeah, sometimes. She has good days and bad. Having Abbey, Hadley’s nanny, helps a lot.”
“And David?”
“Mom’s second husband.”
Kase’s brows lowered. “You’ve got help, and your house isn’t exactly a slum, so unless you’re paying all the bills, someone’s got money. Why’re you working yourself into the ground?”
Late at night, collapsing into bed so exhausted I didn’t even have the energy to cry, I’d often asked myself the same question.
And every time, the answer was the same.
“There are a lot of what ifs in life,” I explained. “You never know when something will happen.”
“That why you were looking at the other clubs?”
“Yeah, but that was when we weren’t talking after you first got me fired.”
“Not after that?”
I shook my head. “I started looking at regular bars and—”
“I’ll help you out.”
“I’m not a charity case; I can take care of myself.”
“Yeah, yourself, your sister, your ma, your friends. When do you take care of you?”
“I find time.”
Pushing in close, he lowered his face to mine. “Who takes care of you?”
“I do.”
“Liar. Who takes care of you, Harlow?”
“I’m fine.”
“Who, ipo? You’re busting your ass to take care of everyone else, and you put your dreams on the line.”
Eyes burning, my stomach clenched and heart raced. My lungs refused to take in any of the air I was desperately trying to get.
“Don’t,” I started, my voice catching. “Don’t you think I worried about that all the time? But I couldn’t think about it, Kase. I still can’t. I let that in, and everything cracks. It crumbles.”
“Harlow,” he whispered, his voice soft.
“Things change in an instant. What if something happened to David? Stress makes my mom’s symptoms flare up. I can’t leave that on her shoulders.”
“She’s your ma, not the other way around. She wants you to live your life, even if it means she has to pack a bag and lock you out so you do it. I saw the look in her eyes when I came to pick you up. She was happy. Relieved.” Kase’s lips tipped up. “And not just ‘cause I’m hot with pretty princess eyes or whatever the fuck it was. You wanna take care of her. I get that, ipo, but you can’t sacrifice your life to do it. Trust me.”
“You don’t get it.”
“After my folks died, my sister took care of me. Then she got into drugs, and I took care of her.”
“Is she still…”
He shook his head. “She lost her fight years ago.”
My heart broke for him. After losing my dad, there were days it hit me so hard I had to force myself to get up and pretend to function. It got better, but it never went away.
Wrapping my arms around hi
s waist, I hugged him tight. “Kase.”
He held me to him. “It’s not the same, I get that. But I know that sense of responsibility. Also know how the guilt can work both ways. How it eats at people.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“Still. I’m sorry. And not just about that.”
“What then?”
“I have these boxes.”
Still holding me, Kase leaned back to look down. “What?”
“Inside of me. I separate everything into them. It helps me deal, you know? If I compartmentalize, I don’t get overwhelmed. But it also means I don’t always see the big picture. Sometimes I don’t realize how what I do or say will come across to someone that doesn’t see my box.” Realizing what I’d said, I laughed. “Not that box.”
“Hey, I was gonna let that one slide.”
“I appreciate it.” My smile faded as I touched his chest. “Yesterday, I sounded like I didn’t care about you or us or whatever. I do, and I’m sorry it came out how it did.”
“And I’m sorry I flipped out. But you gotta let me in a little. Talk to me.” His voice turned teasing. “Let me see your box.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll try to talk to you more. Speaking of…”
“Yeah?”
I held out my arms. “You’re looking at the newest bartender at Rye.”
“You’re fuckin’ kidding me.”
“I told Rhys at lunch. He’s cool to work around my schedule, and—”
Cupping the back of my head, Kase lowered his mouth to mine, cutting off my words.
I clutched the sides of his shirt, giving in fully to the kiss. I could feel his hardness against my stomach, the long, thick length of it tormenting me.
He leaned forward, bending me with him, to grab my ass and hold me tight.
I moaned into the kiss, my tongue dancing with his. Using my grip on his shirt, I pulled it up, exposing what I knew to be tight, toned muscle covered in dark golden skin.
My fingers trembled as I ran them up his back, feeling skin against skin. Biting his lip gently, I grazed my nails down until I reached the band of his boxers.
Kase growled as he used his hold to lift me, turning us around. Setting me on the edge of the table, he pushed between my legs. Still cupping my ass, he yanked me forward, pressing me against his hard cock. His hand moved up my side, inching toward my breast.