by Len Webster
“You can’t fix my life every time I screw things up, Alex. You need to let me deal with my mistakes. You can’t make Noel love me. I don’t want him made to. That’s no good to me. I thought maybe the love he held for me was still there but I was terribly wrong. I was stupid to think that my future was in Boston… when it’s in Melbourne.”
Clara looked up to see Alex’s eyes glistening. Her brother never cried and it made her sick to see him this way. Her slow heartbeat sent the hot pain through each part of her body.
“But, Clara…” he pleaded but she only shook her head.
“But nothing, Alex. I appreciate it. I truly do. You should’ve yelled at me and hate me for being with Noel. But you understood and I didn’t want to disappoint you, so I came back for him. I’ve always loved Noel even when he went back to Boston. But this ending is something that was always set in stone. He’s over me, Alex. We both need to understand that.”
Alex was silent for a moment before he slumped his shoulders and rubbed his forehead.
“What are you going to do?” A simple question that had endless possible answers but Clara had already made her choice.
“You don’t have to marry him, Clara. You don’t,” he added.
She let out a soft laugh.
“Marrying Liam would be the single most honourable thing I could do with my life. You and I both know that. He chose me, Alex, and I can’t forgive myself for what I did. But I do have to ask you something.”
Alex’s confused eyes stared at her and she could see he was hurt. He hoped for something that was never going to happen. Clara smiled and knew even if Alex wasn’t happy about it he’d still give her what she needed—his support.
“Will you walk me down the aisle?”
Alex stepped back in surprise and his jaw dropped slightly.
“Are you sure you want me to be the one to walk you down the aisle?”
Clara grinned and nodded.
“I've never been more sure in my life, Alex.”
“Then, hell yeah, I'll walk you down the aisle. As long as you’re happy that it's Liam you want to marry then I'll give you my blessing.”
Clara stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her brother. Two months and she'd be Liam's wife. Noel would just be a memory, one that Liam could wipe away.
CHAPTER FOUR
Noel rubbed the kink in his shoulder. The strain bugged him more than the messed up report one of his junior accountant handed him the day before. Noel threw the folder on his desk and groaned out. The mistakes his junior made were so simple that Noel couldn’t understand such atrocious accounting. He pointed it down to laziness. He would have to spend the next few days rectifying the account before the clients noticed the errors and moved their business to one of G&MC’s competitors.
Once he fixed it, Noel knew he’d have to have a firm meeting with his employee. He stood up from his chair and picked up his briefcase. He placed it on his cherry oak desk and opened it. Picking up the report, Noel threw it in his briefcase and shut it with force. Who was he kidding? The hours spent fixing this account would keep him preoccupied. He needed to be kept busy. Noel took the handle of his briefcase in his right hand and removed his jacket from behind his chair. Walking to his office door, he opened it to see Colleen at her desk.
“I’m calling it a day, Colleen. You should, too,” Noel said as he closed his office door behind him.
Colleen turned in her chair and looked up at him. “Mr. Parker, it’s only two in the afternoon.”
“I know, but I’m exhausted. Gregson’s in New York for the week, we don’t have him breathing down our necks. I’m calling it early. This report Milligan gave me needs a complete rework. I’ll be locked up in my office back home. If you want to stay for the rest of the day, redirect my calls to my home line,” Noel said as he folded his suit jacket over his right arm.
“I’ve got to make those copies for the Lyndon account briefing. I’ll stay until then, Mr. Parker.”
“Damn. I completely forgot. When’s the briefing with the client?”
Colleen frowned and gave him the look she was famous for. It was her disappointed look. Colleen huffed and took out her brown leather planner.
“Next Monday, ten a.m. Mr. Mercer is coming in from New York also. Will you be coming in on Friday?”
“Depends on this account. I’ll have Watson keep an eye on the other accountants if I can’t make it in on Friday. Don’t stay too late, Colleen.” Noel waved.
Instead of walking towards the elevator for his apartment, Noel turned to the hallway on his left and into the legal department. He approached Andrea’s office and leaned on the doorframe. She had a habit of leaving her office door open and Noel took the opportunity to observe her. Andrea’s straight hair was pulled into a low ponytail, her face buried deep in a contract.
“Want to stop looking at me? You’re a total creep, Noel,” Andrea said without meeting his eyes, staring at the paperwork in her hands.
“I’m your boyfriend,” Noel explained as he pushed off the doorframe.
“And I’m starting to regret dating you.”
He walked over and placed his briefcase on her desk, nudging the contract out of her hand.
“Noel!” Andrea complained. She turned and looked at him, the irritation evident on her face.
Noel bent down and placed both hands on her face. He leaned in and placed his lips on hers. Andrea’s lips didn’t move until she burst into a fit of laughter.
“You sure know how to lower a guy’s confidence, Andrea,” Noel said once he broke away. He straightened up and grabbed the handle of his briefcase.
Andrea’s hand covered his and stopped him. “Oh, please don’t be like that, Noel. This contract has got my full attention. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. Gregson wants this finalised by tonight.”
Noel moved his left hand over Andrea’s and moved her hand off his.
“I know. Gregson has us all on deadlines. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have barged in like that. I’m heading out early. I’ll see you at home?” Noel asked. That small frown on Andrea’s face turned upwards. The law department was under constant strain and was the department Gregson meddled with the most.
“I’ll see you at home. I hope I won’t be long with this contract.”
Noel placed a kiss on Andrea’s cheek and said, “I’ll see you when you get home.” He flashed her a smile and turned for her office door.
“Noel.”
He turned to see her biting her lip.
“You’re not mad, are you?” she asked.
“Andrea, I get it. Work is stressful for the both of us. I’m heading back to the apartment so I can concentrate on this report. Just don’t come home too late. Deadline or not, you’re not sleeping in your office.”
Andrea grinned and turned her chair around and started to pick up the papers of the contract she was working on.
⌘
Placing his keys on the hallway table, he walked to his home office and placed his briefcase on the desk. He opened his briefcase and took out the manila folder and placed it on the oak. Sighing out, Noel started to unbutton his cuffs and then the buttons of his shirt. He shook his head and decided that right now the report was not important. Milligan’s laziness cost him a good few days of reading the accounting reports he was working on.
Noel walked out of his office and towards his bedroom. Stripping the shirt off his back, Noel dropped it on the bathroom floor before moving his hands to his belt and unfastened it. Digging his hands in his pockets, he took out his phone and his wallet. He looked at his phone to see missed calls from Max, Stevie, and Rob. They never called—not unless it was about Clara.
Their calls had been frequent in the four days since he sent Clara packing. Noel unlocked his phone to see missed calls and messages that simply said, “Call me.” He had minimal sleep. Every time he closed his eyes those brown eyes of hers killed him, waking him up every night. He was surprised Andrea slept through his gasps for air
.
Noel ran his hand through his hair, the tightened grip in his chest made him close his eyes tight. Noel slammed his wallet and phone on the bathroom counter and quickly walked to his dresser. He pulled out the first two drawers from the dresser and threw it on his bed. Removing the contents he searched through the drawers. Shirts and briefs thrown on his bed but he came up with nothing.
“Argh!” Noel groaned out and turned back to his drawer pulling out the rest of the drawers.
Socks and shirts pilled up on his bed as he turned each one upside down and shaking the contents out. Noel took out the second last drawer and shook it clear until it fell out and landed on the pile of his clothes. His knees buckled and he sat on floor right next his bed. His breathing heavy and short, Noel steadied himself for a second.
Noel picked it up, his heart squeezing so tight he wasn’t sure when his next breath of air would come. He held it in his fingers and examined the crease lines. Slowly and carefully he opened the piece of paper. Once it was unfolded, Noel smoothed it out and held it tightly, afraid to let it leave his fingertips.
I love you.
Those three words he read, over and over again. It was the first time since he arrived back in Boston that he looked at this piece of paper. Noel’s fingertips ran over each letter of her beautiful writing. It was these three words that made him whole. To lie to Clara was the only way she could be happy with Liam.
He didn't want to send her away but the truth was he needed to. Life without Clara was his future, no matter how much it hurt him to know she was with Liam. Had he never known her the way he did, it wouldn't have hurt him so much. Noel would rather give her up than see her unhappy. He knew he couldn't give her the life and the happiness she deserved. Something would have always stopped them. He'd be lying to himself if he thought otherwise.
The last four days had him holding his passport in his hands, contemplating. He wanted to fly out and chase her, but Andrea always kept his feet cemented. Noel kept his eyes fixed on the piece of paper. He remembered waking up to it and spent an hour just reading it over and over again.
He sat on the bed and stared at the note. The sound of a heavy knock banged from his front door. Noel looked at the clock on the bedside table to see it was almost four. He’d been on the bed for almost an hour, reading Clara’s words. Breathing out, Noel carefully folded Clara’s note and placed it in his pocket. Grabbing the first shirt that he found on his bed, he pulled it over his head and onto his body. Noel fixed his belt and walked out of his room and towards the front door. Without bothering to check through the peephole, he opened it.
“Alex?” Noel said in shock. He was not expecting to see his best friend in Boston. Not when Alex had important accounts back in New York that needed assessing. There was no emotion in Alex's eyes; his face seemed tense, almost too controlled.
“I stopped by your office and Colleen told me you went home early. Are you alone?” The tone in Alex's voice held little life and the flare Noel saw from Alex’s nostrils should have had him running.
“Uhh… Yeah. Why?”
Alex closed his eyes briefly before exhaling loudly.
“Good!” Alex growled.
Before Noel could prepare himself, Alex's demeanor changed. He never saw it coming. Alex's curled fist hitting Noel's cheek hard and fast. It felt like a slab of concrete taking him out. Noel stumbled into his apartment until he hit the wooden floors of his hallway, hard. Noel's left hand immediately placed over his cheek, unable to comprehend what just happened. Noel felt the immediate swelling and pain of Alex’s attack.
“What the fuck?” Noel blurted out.
Alex took two long steps into the apartment and hovered over him. “Stay away from her!”
Alex's demands of fury instantly had Noel frozen. He knew.
“I mean it you selfish bastard. You stay the fuck away, Nolan! I should have my hands around your neck, but Clara made me promise not to hurt you. Give me a good reason why I shouldn't break my promise and beat the absolute shit out of you? Best friend or not, you hurt my sister! There was only ever one rule and you broke it!”
Alex grabbed Noel’s shirt in his hands and brought him up off the ground. The anger possessed in Alex’s eye truly frightened him. Noel had never seen Alex this angry in his life, not even remotely close.
“How could you?” Alex yelled, his grip tightened and the shirt cut into Noel skin.
“Huh? How could you do that to her? You love my sister one minute and then you don’t! Why did you do it? You sent her away, when all she did was come back for you. She tells you and you don’t give a shit. Why, Noel? Tell me! Why did you break Clara like that?” Alex pushed Noel’s chest.
Noel fell backwards hitting the ground. He watched Alex balled his fist, his chest rising up and down. Noel stood up, wincing from the pain.
“Because she broke my heart first!” Noel bit back without thinking.
Alex’s eyes flashed with rage and he stepped forward until he was eye to eye with Noel.
“Don’t you fucking dare! Don’t you dare say Clara broke your heart first, because I know what you did! I know. You don’t think I knew about Valerie. You sick son of a bitch. You think you can sleep with my sister and then bed Valerie. I don’t even know why she loves you. You betrayed me, Noel. Not because you slept with my little sister but because you had the nerve to break her heart. Why didn’t you stop her? She came to you and you let her walk away! You could have made her stay. You were meant to change her mind. And you didn’t. You selfish bastard, I trusted you. You had one chance to make her stay!” Noel shook his head, not knowing what Alex was on about.
“Make her stay? What are you talking about?” Noel noticed Alex flinch and took a step back.
“You didn’t…” Alex ran his right hand across his forehead. “You didn’t let her explain?” Alex yelled out and threw his hands in the air.
“Explain what? There was nothing to explain.”
“No!” Alex shook his head and grabbed Noel by the shirt again. Noel let him. He deserved this for even getting involved with Clara.
“She came here to make you change her mind. She came back for you and you didn’t let her finish. She wanted you to change her mind!”
This time Noel had enough and pushed Alex off of him. Alex’s head fell before he looked up at Noel with wet eyes.
“That’s my sister, Noel. I’m meant to protect her and I let the one person I trust the most kill the person she was. She came back to change your bloody mind, don’t you get that!”
Noel kept quiet. Clara was the one thing Alex treasured more than his life, but Noel never imagined this kind of reaction. Not when Alex was the gentle one.
“All I’ve ever done was try to protect Clara, but I couldn’t protect her from you. From my own, fucking, best friend. You don’t even deserve to know. I love you like my own brother, but I expected more from you. We have never let a girl get in between us. But that there, that’s my sister and I love her. I don’t care how long we’ve been best friends for. I can’t look at you without wanting to bash your face in. You want to know what I did yesterday? I put my sister on a plane because you broke her heart. I only had three days with her and for the first day and a half she cried over you! I came here because I wanted to know why you said you never loved her. Actually—no—it’s easier if I didn’t hear it.” Alex wiped his wet cheek and inspected his right knuckles.
The room was silent. Noel looked over at Alex and he looked exhausted, like he recently aged ten years. Noel had never seen Alex cry before. The despair on his best friend’s face could make him sick.
“Are we going to be okay?” Noel asked.
Alex sighed before looking at him. “I love my sister and she comes before you. I know when to put someone I love first. As for us, we aren’t okay. We’ll never be okay. I let my sister down. I let you get to her and you fucked her up. You know what the hardest thing in life is? Seeing my sister after knowing the one person she has ever loved doesn’t
love her back. It’s like having your soul ripped out from you. I’m powerless to make her happy. I was powerless to stop her from you. One day, we might be all right. But it won’t be for a long time. You need to understand that.”
Alex’s eyebrows met as he looked at Noel.
“When we’re okay can you call me?”
“You might be waiting a long time, Nolan.”
“I get it,” Noel replied and watched his best friend walk towards the front door.
She came back to change my mind.
“Wait!” he called out.
Alex stopped and turned to face Noel.
“Why did Clara want me to change her mind?”
Alex’s body tightened, his jaw clenched. Alex closed his eyes for a brief second before opening them, his pupils dilating.
“Clara’s engaged to Liam. She came to Boston because she wanted you to change her mind. She came here to throw away her engagement for you.”
“Welcome back to Australia,” the customs officer said as Clara handed her declaration form to him. For the past four days her eyes felt permanently stained, but today she didn’t shed a tear. Not when she knew Liam would be on the other side of those automatic doors.
She spent three days with Alex and Keira. Alex had used up some of his leave and took her around New York City. Clara saw it all: Times Square, The Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty, and every street corner and avenue Keira could take her to. What Clara loved the most was Scarsdale. It was beautiful and everything she could want out of suburbia. She could see her brother and Keira getting married, having their children grow up in their beautiful house and play near the beautiful parks. It was a dream that she wanted Alex to have.
“Thank you,” Clara replied as she pulled her suitcase and walked towards the automatic doors.
She didn’t have Alex to hold her hand this time. For the past four days, she felt like a child having to have Alex comfort her, try to heal her. There were times when she would have to calm him down when he looked at her ring. She had never seen her brother so angry, but she found a way to calm him. Clara wished she never put Alex through all of this. She had him promise that he wouldn’t go after Noel or hurt him. It took a lot of effort but with the help of Keira, Alex promised to never hurt him. It was the last thing she would do for Noel and that was to protect him from her brother.