by Len Webster
Noel walked over to his couch and sat on the slightly warm cushion. He saw several missed calls from Alex and quickly called him back. Alex picked up the call in a few rings and Noel could hear him instructing Keira.
“Noel! I’ve been trying to call you!” Alex sounded irritated and flustered.
“Sorry, I was on the phone to Max. What’s up?” he asked as he settled properly into the couch. Noel wasn’t going to be the one to tell Alex about Max and Sarah. Alex deserved to hear it from Max.
“I just got off the phone with Clara.”
Alex’s words had Noel’s heart stopping. His grip on the beer bottle tightened as he held his breath.
“She’s got cold feet, Noel. She called me hysterically and she was mumbling about how she doesn’t think she can go through with the wedding. She didn’t tell me everything instead she wanted to speak to Keira. The next thing I know, Keira’s in tears and demanding I take her to Boston tonight. I couldn’t get flights for tonight considering it’s almost two in the morning. We’re driving up now. Put the kettle on and we’ll see you in three or so hours.”
She read his messages over and over again until she fell asleep. The first thing she did this morning was checked that the message Noel sent her was actually real. Getting it was something she didn’t expect. Especially while out celebrating dinner with Liam and his co-workers. Even though she saw little of Liam in Singapore, he managed to secure the new investment contract. By the time he got his signature on the dotted line their stay in Singapore was over. Clara sat in the hotel room waiting more than she explored Singapore. The only time she managed to see the beautiful country was when they were leaving it. Sighing out, Clara looked down at her phone.
Noel: I’ll always love you, Clara. Always
Noel: Please find your way back to me, Clara. I love you.
She never deleted his final message. The same message he sent her before he left Melbourne. She didn’t have the heart to. Clara left it on her phone and as time and new messages passed, it moved to the bottom of her inbox. Noel’s message last night had her heart stopping. She had to excuse herself in the middle of dinner and rush to the ladies room. She never expected those words.
Find my way back to Noel?
When she checked Boston time, she saw it was one a.m. and put it down to him being drunk. But something in her heart told her that he spoke the truth when he was intoxicated. The next thing she did was call Alex. She couldn’t walk back into the restaurant and bottle up Noel’s words. His words had her doubtful of her wedding. Her wedding plans were submerging her and making it difficult to breathe. She was having second thoughts when it came to marrying Liam. Clara told Keira of Noel’s message and her cold feet. Keira’s soft and understanding voice calmed her enough to sit through the rest of Liam’s dinner.
Clara looked to her right to see Violetta’s Bridal Boutique, one of Melbourne’s most prestigious bridal boutiques on Hoddle Street. Some how Jo managed a private wedding dress consultation and Clara knew the prices of the dresses Violetta’s was offering. From Alex Perry to Lusan Mandongus and to Vera Wang, Violetta’s had every famous brand and if they didn’t they would order it. Clara didn’t need an expensive dress. When she was a little girl, a small local bridal shop in the Berwick Village always had her hopeful.
Removing the keys from the ignition, Clara opened the driver’s car door and stepped onto the concrete sidewalk. She looked into the windows of the cream painted store. Inside and looking at dresses were Stevie, Annie and Ally, three of her five bridesmaids. Josie had work and couldn’t make it, and Keira was in New York. Opening the boutique door to the sound of a bell, she watched them all turn around and smile at her. It was early in the morning but she had to do the consultation before she met up with Liam at the church.
Jo’s constant messages and calls had Clara reaching her limit. She knew how behind she was on flowers, the seating arrangements, the choice in music … the entire wedding. Noel gave her time to decide, but the choice in happily ever after played heavy on her heart. It wasn’t a choice she wanted to make, but her deadline was fast approaching.
She would be losing someone. It was a matter of whom. Exhausted over the meticulous dealings that came with Jo and her wedding, Clara turned off her phone. Getting married was meant to be a happy time in her life instead it felt like a chore. One she didn't fault Liam for but herself instead. Clara placed her phone in her handbag and shook her head. She needed to concentrate and she needed to focus. The choice she was about to make would be easier than the decision Noel wanted from her.
“Ready to try on wedding dresses?” Annie asked with an excited smile.
Clara’s mouth twitched as she managed a controlled smile. She noticed Stevie, Annie and Ally all held champagne glasses in their hands.
“I need champagne and cake first. More champagne than cake… actually just the champagne.” Clara noticed the glare Stevie gave her but she only shook her head and reached for the glass Ally handed her.
“Thanks,” Clara muttered and downed it in one go.
“Woah, tough night?” Ally asked with a raised eyebrow.
Clara held it out for another glassful and Ally poured it willingly. “You could say that. Liam’s dinner was filled with so much investment jargon I started getting a headache trying to keep up.”
Ally let out a laugh. “Yeah, family dinner is worse. When you get Dad and Liam talking about the family business, I get this insane need to shoot them both.”
Clara nodded her head in agreement as she remembered the first time she met Liam and Ally’s parents. David O’Connor was quite the business mogul and Clara could see where Liam got his looks. Though Liam lacked the Irish accent from being raised in Australia, his father had a noticeable one. Ally got her looks from their beautiful English mother, Imogen. Besides the fact that David shoved the idea of an offspring down her throat, Clara loved them both. They were what she imagined parents were like.
“Are you brining a date for the wedding, Ally?” Annie asked.
Clara looked at her sister-in-law-to-be. Ally sighed and downed the rest of her champagne.
“Sadly, no.”
“That has got to be a joke, right?” Clara said, bewildered.
“Girls, Sydney’s not what you believe it to be. The Cross is a hell hole and Bondi is fresh out of talent. Take me back to Spain where the men were actually men.”
“How about you, Stevie?” Ally asked dodging further questions.
“She’s bringing Rob!” Annie gleefully said.
“Who’s Rob?” Ally asked as she sliced a piece of cake.
Clara raised her brow at Stevie for a ‘please explain.’
“My brother’s best friend. Stevie’s just afraid to admit she’s interested. Ask him to be your date for my wedding, Stevie. If you don’t, you can’t come,” Clara warned.
Well, Rob and Alex are best friends. It’s safer if I didn’t mention Noel.
“Drop it, Clara. Rob and I are not happening!”
Before Clara could say more she heard the sound of heels down the stairs.
“You must be Clara.” A young woman interrupted them with a smile as she held out her hand. Her curls were pinned back and her blouse tucked into her black skirt.
“Yes, that’s me. Thank you for agreeing to a private consultation. I know how far in advance you need to book to even step foot in your store.” Clara shook her hand.
“Not everyday an O’Connor gets engaged. When the news broke out that it happened, trust me, every bridal shop has been trying to secure you. Lucky I grew up in Sydney and I personally know Jo. So the honour is all mine. I’m Violetta.”
⌘
Violetta lined up a freestanding rail of wedding dress in the dressing room. Clara sat on the small seat and looked at them. The large curtained off dress room felt small around her. It was fun going through them while they were on hangers but now that she had to try them all, the doubt in her grew. She couldn’t stop thinking of the one person
she shouldn’t be thinking of. Clara couldn’t control the gasps she took as the air failed to reach her lungs.
“Clara,” Stevie said softly as she peered into the dressing room. “Are you okay?”
Clara looked at the wedding dresses and shook her head. ”Stevie—”
“I sent the other girls to check out bridesmaid dresses. I told them Josie would sue our asses once she becomes a practiced lawyer if we chose orange. Let’s talk. The moment I saw you I knew something happened.” Stevie sat next to Clara on the small seat and stared at the wedding dresses with her.
“Noel texted me last night during my dinner with Liam. It’s messed me up. I called Alex and spoke to Keira and… I’m having doubts. I don’t know if I should marry Liam, but I want to. I don’t know what to do. I love Liam.”
“Rob and I kissed,” Stevie announced.
“What?” Clara said with a smile on her face. She knew Stevie was distracting her.
It happened!
“There. I knew that would get a smile on your face.” A pleased smile overtook Stevie’s face.
“How? What? When?”
Stevie laughed at Clara’s eagerness. “We were making Jewel jealous at PJ’s and I lost at darts. The next thing I know we're kissing and we left the pub…” Stevie trailed off.
Clara was in shock.
“You guys had sex?”
“No.” Stevie laughed. “I mean I wanted to. I got him almost naked, but I kept having flashes of Thailand and I had to stop myself. I’ve never had this problem before, there’s something about Rob that brings it all back and it’s scary.”
Clara grabbed Stevie’s hands in hers and squeezed it to reassure her
“How about this, you’ll try on dresses and I’ll try to make things work with Rob. What do you say? Forget that you’re marrying Liam and just try on all these dresses.”
Clara nodded. Stevie got up and run her fingers along the hangers of the dresses.
“Stevie, wait,” Clara stood up and smiled. “I want you to be my maid of honour.”
Stevie froze and turned to her, the shock on her face had Clara smiling.
“You want me to be your maid of honour? But Annie is more qualified than I am.”
Clara shook her head. “Stevie, you’ve been there for me for everything, including the saddest parts of my life. But this time, I want you to be there when I get married. I’ve never had a best friend like you. You know my struggles and you know my pain. You are more than qualified to be my maid of honour. I want you there in my bridal suit to hand me those tulips just before I walk down the aisle.”
Tears pooled Stevie’s eyes and she pulled Clara into her arms. “I would be absolutely love to be your maid of honour.”
Clara smiled knowing she made the right decision.
Annie and Ally walked into the dressing room holding up bridesmaid dresses. “Let’s get you into some dresses, Clara,” Ally beamed.
⌘
Clara parked her Audi just in front of St. Ignatius Church. Her Lexus was sold when the engine blew and Liam convinced Alex that she needed an upgrade. The sale from her beloved Lexus added to the account she had for Alex. Her brother argued, but Liam won once he said it was his turn to provide for her.
Stepping out of her new car and locking it, Clara smiled at herself. She did it, she chose her wedding dress and she had a maid of honour. Cementing plans for her wedding had her leaning towards Liam, but she hadn’t made a proper decision, she couldn’t rush her choice. The hours spent trying dresses was enough for the one glass of wine she did drink to leave her body. Clara locked her car and started to walk up to one of Australia’s oldest churches. It was like a fairytale to see the church.
Liam wanted a traditional wedding and she would have loved a wedding out in a beautiful garden, but seeing the church for herself she was glad she didn’t argue. The church was breathtaking. She could see herself running down the few steps with Liam holding her hand. She was starting to envision more and more of her wedding with Liam. It frightened her slightly, but she was starting to move on from her second-guessing.
Clara looked to see Liam and the minister at the top of the small steps by the large wooden doors. The smile on Liam’s face was blissful and Clara found herself smiling at him. She looked at her engagement ring and felt the warmth in her chest. Clara walked towards them while they spoke. She was only metres from the steps when her phone vibrated in her hand. She looked down to see Noel’s name appear on the screen. Clara stopped and her heart ached at his name. She looked up to see Liam laughing with the minister. Closing her eyes tightly, she swiped across the screen and answered his call.
“Noel, this is not a great time,” Clara said, trying to control the imbalance in her voice.
“Clara, you need to come back to the US.” The begging in his voice had Clara’s chest burning in pain.
“What?” Clara breathed out.
She looked up at Liam as his eyes met hers. As she listened to Noel’s reason for her return she couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Her heart breaking as she heard Noel’s own cries. Clara hung up the phone the moment Liam was by her side.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” The worry in his voice made the ache in her worse.
“I’m sorry, Liam. I-I have to go back to the US. I’m so sorry.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
It had been over a day since he called Clara, begging her to come back to the US. The moment he heard her voice he begged and pleaded for her return before he even said anything. Noel looked at his phone and knew she’d be here soon. He wanted to be there when she landed, but he couldn’t get himself to a cab. He was a wreck and he couldn’t stop the pain he was in. He couldn’t leave where he sat.
The last thirty-six hours had been hell. No matter how much he wished he could make the sounds stop, he couldn’t. Those beeps wouldn’t go away; even when he slept they seemed louder, almost mocking him. The constant noise reminded him that it should have been him instead. He wanted a trade with the universe. He wanted it to be different. Those beeps mocked him and ridiculed him. They tortured him.
As much as I hate the sound they’re keeping Alex alive.
Noel looked at the heart monitor as it continued to signal Alex’s heart activities. Each spike made him hopeful but with every hour that passed he wanted to grab Alex by the hospital gown and beg him to wake up. Noel needed him, they were brothers, and he couldn’t imagine a life without Alex. The idea hurt him as much as the idea of living a life without Clara. They were a package deal.
“You better wake up, you weak shit! Or I swear to you, Alex, I’m going to kill you myself. You aren't leaving me here, and you sure as hell aren't leaving Clara and Keira. If you’re taking a break from life well, break time’s fucking over. We need you, Alex!” The stinging in his eyes returned.
Fuck!
“Jesus Christ, you don’t deserve this! Neither of you deserve this. If I hadn’t sent her that message, you’d be getting ready for work. Just wake up, Alex. Just wake up!” Noel begged, but he was answered with the constant beeps from the heart monitor machine. He leapt out of the visitor’s seat and paced around the ICU room Alex was in.
Noel stood by Alex’s bed and looked at his best friend. Alex had a bandage wrapped around his head from the doctors opening up his skull to relieve the swelling of his brain. Besides a few cuts and internal bleeding the doctors said he’d be okay. But through the night Alex’s heart started to have erratic sets of beats and the doctors placed Alex in a medically induced coma. The swelling in the brain was too much for Alex’s body, and the doctors placed him in a coma to help his body mend itself. It was temporary and the doctors told Noel that when the swelling went down, they’d wake him up.
If I had told them to wait until morning they wouldn’t be out that late. That drunk driver wouldn’t have gone through that red light. Alex wouldn’t be in a goddamn coma.
He placed blame on himself. It all started with that intoxicated and truthful message to
Clara. The moment he got off the phone with Alex, Noel drank. He had beer after beer waiting for them. He passed out and woke up late afternoon to see calls from the Emergency Room of Yale-New Haven Hospital. Alex and Keira just made it to New Haven when Alex’s side was hit by a drink driver. The driver was lucky and only suffered a broken nose, whiplash and some other gashes. After being hit, Alex’s car veered off and hit a pole on Keira’s side. Keira was lucky that the pole hit the back of the car, but she was badly broken.
They made it to Connecticut. They made it sixty miles. I should have told them not to come. I should have told them that it didn’t matter, but I wanted them to come. I was selfish and it came with consequences.
The moment Noel got the voicemails, he got in his car and drove down to New Haven. The hospital had called the last number Alex dialed and that was Noel. He wished he didn’t get so drunk that he slept until the afternoon. But what good would it do if he were still drunk. He ignored going to work and drove to Connecticut, a state he had never spent actual time in. Noel paced around Alex’s bed and kept his eyes on the heart rate monitor. No slight changes but he had to remind himself that a constant and leveled heart rate was good.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I’m sorry you’re lying here when God knows you don’t deserve it. I should be lying in that bed. I should be the one in a fucking coma. All our lives you’ve put me first before yourself and I swear, it won’t be like that anymore. Wake up and let me be the one to look out for you this time.” Noel breathed out and ran his hand through his messy hair. He looked at the drip before he looked down at Alex’s unconscious body.
“I’m sorry I hurt Clara. I never wanted to. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep her happy enough. I’m sorry I couldn’t stop her. I’m sorry I never got the chance to be the one to look out for her. I’m so sorry, Alex. Wake up and let me have the chance to one day ask you for permission to marry her if she chooses me. Just give me a chance to make up for all the wrongs I’ve done to you, Alex. I can’t lose you, not after I already lost her.” Noel wiped the tear from his cheek and silently prayed that God offered Alex a chance at the happy life he deserved.