“I’m not going far,” I said, smirking. “I’ll be right over here, when you’re ready.”
Theo was already rising up from the water as I turned from him. I had time to slip on the nightie and then he was kissing me, his body still wet from the bathwater. He pushed me down forcefully, kissing me hard, his tongue exploring my mouth. His erection pressed against me, trapped between our bodies. Then he moved suddenly, trying to thrust into me and the silky satin comforter slipped off the bed, carrying us with it to the floor to land in a tangle of arms and legs.
Theo grunted something.
“Are you okay?” I asked, moving off him.
He rolled his eyes at me. I laughed and got to my feet.
“What the hell kind of sheets are these?” he growled, picking himself up off the floor.
“Satin,” I said sheepishly. “I thought you’d like them.”
“Not if we can’t have sex on them,” he said, frowning. He reached toward the bed and, with one movement, ripped the top sheet off and threw it aside. Most of the pillows fell off too, landing on the comforter.
I had one moment to feel disappointed, and then Theo pushed me back onto the bed, moving his body atop mine, his kisses feverish. His hands roamed my body, stroking, squeezing, caressing. I let out a moan as he bit me gently, then raised my pelvis, to make it easier for him. With one plunge, he was inside, moving fast, groaning with each thrust. I groaned in pleasure and sought his lips, the taste of him suddenly irresistible.
He rolled me on top of him. “Tell me you’re mine,” he growled up at me.
“I’m yours,” I moaned to him softly, moving fast.
“Yes, you are,” he growled again, wrapping his arms around me.
Our panting was loud, our movements possessed, frantic. Too slowly, the climax built. I strained harder to gain it, not caring that my pleasure was marred by slight pain. Suddenly I was there, the orgasm breaching my mind, overpowering it. I screamed Theo’s name, and he shuddered under me. Before I stopped moving, he rolled me over and thrust so hard and fast there was pain. I jerked in discomfort, whimpering, but he seemed to like that, kissing me harder. Then he roared out my name, digging his fingers into me as he emptied himself.
Theo pulled back from me immediately. “Did I hurt you?” he asked, worry in his eyes.
He had, but not badly. “I’m okay,” I said automatically.
He rolled off me. “Go check, Sar. Please.”
I went into the bathroom, closing the door and grabbing a washcloth. Wetting it, I examined my pelvic area. There was soreness and mild bruising, but that was usual with Theo. Unusual and more disturbing, I was bleeding. As I washed, I wondered if this was my period returning. Dr. Camlyn had said my period might take a few months to return after having Theoron to get back to its normal cycle. If it was my period, then it was a good month early.
Shaking off my trepidation, I went back out to Theo. “I’m okay. There was some blood, but I was expecting my period to start any day. What we did may just have started it.”
Theo held me tightly. “I’m sorry,” he said with reluctance and a trace of fear. “I usually hold back with you. I’m strong enough to hurt you easily, if I don’t.”
I almost told him that Danial had also torn me a few times when he’d lost control, and I’d been under The Lust but held back, knowing the comparison would not be soothing to him. “Did you not hold back this time?”
“My control slipped a little,” Theo said.
My uneasiness became real fear. Danial had been enraged; the damage he’d done had been provoked and——disgustingly—wanted. Theo had just gotten carried away in the moment.
Suddenly it came to me this wasn’t the first time; I’d bled after he’d had me in cougar form, too.
“You’re afraid,” Theo said hesitantly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know that,” I replied. “But I need to know how much of your strength you hold back.”
“Why?”
“Because how can you enjoy sex if you don’t lose control?”
“I’d rather be careful than hurt you.”
“Are you going to break my bones? How much holding back are you doing exactly?”
“Are you jealous of Aspen?” Theo said suddenly. “Because she could take anything I’d do to her? Don’t be.”
I hadn’t been, but him saying her name brought it back in an all-consuming wave. I shut images of them out of my mind. “No, but I need you to make love to me and this time to not hold back.”
“No,” Theo said, biting his lip, his eyes yellowing.
“I’m partly turned, remember? I healed a gunshot wound in record time. Besides, lots of bodybuilders and very muscular men have sex with women and don’t damage them.”
“You sure you want this?” Theo asked, his eyes searching mine.
“Yes.” I kissed him fiercely. “I want you right now.”
Theo kissed me back very hard, then growled softly. He bit me hard, unexpectedly, on the front of my neck, his teeth closing around my jugular and a mouthful of skin. I cried out, going motionless. He didn’t break the skin, only held me with his teeth as he got into position over me. Shaking in anticipation, he thrust inside and began to move, pumping like a jackhammer.
Initial discomfort quickly became pain. I squirmed under him, his growling loud in my ears, his breathing ragged. I tried to draw breath and couldn’t, his weight pressing me into the mattress. I made a choking sound, and Theo released my throat, still moving frenetically. He kissed me hard and then bit me again, on my right breast. Aggressively he pumped harder, my breast in his mouth. Abruptly Theo let out a roar. I relaxed suddenly, thinking him done, but instead he strained harder, his body pounding mine recklessly, his recurring roaring almost deafening.
Pain became burning agony. I let out a scream, thrashing, and then he screamed, letting loose a long wavering primitive cry. He convulsed on me, still screaming, and I felt him come, his penis contracting rapidly over and over as his hot semen spurted free. He collapsed down onto me, then fell over onto his side, still uttering soft cries, his body twitching.
I was afraid to move. I was afraid to look. But I had to.
My eyes roamed Theo and my lower body. We both had blood on us, but it wasn’t all over, just in the expected places, coating our sexual organs. There was a lot of it, though.
As I got up to get a washcloth, a sharp pain hit me, making me gasp. Carefully, I shuffled slowly to the bathroom and got a washcloth. Wetting it with warm water, I cleaned myself off. Under the blood, there were some new bruises. They didn’t look serious. I was more worried about whatever was hurt inside.
I put on a pad and underwear and went back to Theo carrying a fresh wet washcloth. He was still lying on his side, twitching. I cleaned the blood off him, making him gasp and convulse again in pleasure. I put aside the cloth and stroked his side, amused he was so reactive. He jerked under my hands, moaning softly. Pleased I’d made him near comatose with pleasure, I cautiously slipped into bed beside him.
* * * *
Theo was gently shaking me. “Sar, wake up.”
“What is it? God, it’s two in the morning—”
“Tell me you’re okay.”
“I’m okay,” I said sleepily, then reached for him. Aching pain hit me, startling me awake.
“You’re hurt,” he said guiltily. “I found the bloody washcloths.”
“I’m fine,” I said, trying not to move at all. “I checked myself out afterwards, and everything was okay. I expected to be sore.” I gave him a triumphant grin. “What’s important is I rocked your world.”
Theo closed his eyes, and a tremor went through him. “You did. It was so good to finally have you without worrying about how hard or deep I was thrusting.” He opened his eyes. “But I should have worried. You’re a mass of bruises. I’m sorry—”
“I will need a while to recover,” I interrupted. “But you don’t need to apologize to me. I asked for you
to do what you did.”
Theo carefully covered me up and lay down beside me. “Get some sleep. I’ll be right here if you need me.”
* * * *
When the alarm went off, I opened bleary eyes and reached for it. Letting out a gasp, I stayed where I was. Everything hurt except my arms.
Theo got up, shut off the alarm and dressed. Then he turned to me. “Do you need me to help you up?” he asked, offering me his hand.
I reached for him, wincing. “Yes, just so I can get up.”
“No,” he said, gently lowering my hand. “You need to stay here today. Rest, maybe stay in bed. I’ll arrange to be home early, to take care of you,” he said, again guilty.
“I’ll be fine—”
“You can barely move.”
Anger flooded me. Pushing aside the pain, I got my feet on the floor and stood. “I’m fine, like I said. Yes, you were rougher than I liked. But I can take a lot more than you thought.”
Theo studied me. “You aren’t as hurt as I was worried you would be,” he said finally.
“I might not be able to take everything you are,” I said carefully. “But I can do probably eighty percent.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying let’s work up to my limit when I’m healed.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to,” I said firmly, kissing him with my bruised lips and trying not to wince. “I loved hearing you come so hard, knowing how good it had to feel. I want to see you like that again.”
He sat down beside me and hugged me gently. “I don’t deserve you.”
“We deserve to be happy together,” I said firmly. “We are going to be happy. I never want to be apart from you again.”
“I feel the same way,” he said, kissing me. “So I guess you’re stuck with me.”
After Theo took care of the pets, he left, admonishing me to stay in bed and rest. About ten minutes after he was gone, I carefully got out of bed and went in to take a shower. I’d be damned if I stayed in here all day. At the least, I’d take the dogs and go sit outside in the sun.
My pad was full of blood, but again, that was normal. I tossed it in the garbage, then took a long shower, winding my hair out of the way so it wouldn’t get wet. If I really felt bad and needed to lie down later, I didn’t want it wet and cold on my back, making me feel worse. The warm water helped my aching body, relaxing my sore muscles. When I was done, I dried off and surveyed the damage.
Not too bad. I had a bruise near my mouth and another two on my neck, the one over my throat darker. There were fingerprint-sized bruises here and there on my body and a hickey of sorts on my breast. Whatever the pain inside me had been, it was gone.
The phone rang. I answered it.
“I knew you wouldn’t stay in bed,” Theo grumbled. “Are you feeling better?”
“Much better,” I answered. “The hot shower worked wonders.”
“Well, relax today. Also, please make an appointment to see Dr. Camlyn as soon as you can.”
“For what?"
“We both still need to be checked for STDs, just in case. But really, I want to know what he says about you.” He took a breath. “I want him to check you inside.”
“Theo, I’m sure you didn’t damage me and anyway—”
“I want him to tell me that you might be able to still have my child,” Theo blurted. “Or else tell me it’s impossible.”
I was floored. “I most likely can’t,” I said slowly. “He already said so.”
“But you’re healing on your own now. Like you said, being partly turned accelerated your healing abilities.”
“Theo, you said it didn’t matter—” I said hesitantly, my voice breaking.
“It doesn’t. But we’ve been having unprotected sex since the moment we got back together again. What if you are healed and I get you pregnant? I don’t want a surprise pregnancy.”
Shock flooded me. He was right. Again, being stupid, I hadn’t even though about that possibility.
“If we have a child, I want it not to be an accident,” he continued tenderly. “I want you to know if it’s possible and to only have one if you want it.”
Hearing his eagerness, there was a sense of foreboding: if I got pregnant, he’d want me to have the baby. After all I’d gone through with Theoron, I wasn’t sure I wanted that. I’d better find out sooner than later if that were possible. “I’ll call today. Is there a better day for you?”
“Whenever he can fit us in, Sar. As soon as possible.”
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll call you back shortly.”
“Talk to you then.”
I hung up and called Dr. Camlyn’s office. By luck, he’d had a cancellation and would be able to see us on Friday at eight. I thanked his secretary and then called Theo. He picked up after the first ring.
“Sar, did you get an appointment?”
“This Friday,” I said. “Eight p.m.”
“That’ll be fine. I’ll tell Danial that you’ll be in Monday. He said yesterday that you didn’t have to come in Friday anyway.”
“Drive safe.”
“I will.”
After hanging up, I sat for a little while, trying to sort out my feelings about Theo, Danial and babies in general.
Theoron had given me some feelings I’d been unprepared for. It had deepened my love for Danial and his for me. We were less possessive of each other than we had been, more sure in our love for one another. It boiled down to knowing there was a part of him that was completely mine in Theoron and that no matter what happened, that was never going to change.
Part of me wanted to have Theo’s child, to make him happy as I’d made Danial happy.
However, as last night had just proven, I was mortal. There was bound to be some problems with a were pregnancy, just as there had been with a vampire pregnancy.
No. I had two children. I didn’t want to die having another, not even for Theo. If I was healing, I’d either have an operation to ensure sterility or go on birth control.
When I got up, I forgot to be careful and again, a sharp pain within bent me over. I straightened carefully and took a deep breath. Bitterly, I told myself that I only needed to remember this moment to know I was making the right decision.
* * * *
After spending the first half of the day resting and thinking, I made some chicken soup from scratch and then pumpkin pie with canned pumpkin. After that was done, I began sewing a new bed for Darkness. Despite that both turned out well, my mood was sour. The initial feeling of happiness and triumph I’d had this morning had oddly turned to bitter resentment and frustration during the day. When Theo returned after his shift, I didn’t greet him with the welcoming smile he was used to.
“It smells wonderful in here,” he said, taking off his shoes.
I didn’t reply, working hard to ladle the soup into bowls.
Theo grabbed me gently around the waist. My back was to him, yet I smelled his scent, that smell of forests and earth and sunshine. I began to smile and then stopped.
“What is this?” he said, looking tentatively at the soup.
“Chicken soup with rice,” I said.
“You didn’t have to,” he said gently.
“Why don’t you take a shower?” I said bitchily. “By the time you’re done, I’ll have the table set.”
“I’ll shower and be right back,” he said, then kissed my cheek and left.
By the time I had dinner on the table, he was back, his hair still damp. He tried the soup before I even sat down. “This is good,” he said with a smile, appreciative.
His earnestness mollified me somewhat, and I managed a smile. “Thanks.”
Theo had a few helpings to my one and then asked for a piece of pie. He had smelled it, even cooling out of sight in the fridge. I brought him a piece, which he ate in a few bites. He got up, then came back to the table with another large piece. I wished silently that I had his metabolism. Then again, I didn’t wo
rk out for an hour every other day with three hundred pound weights.
I got up to take his plates, but Theo deftly held them away. “I’ll clear. You are to go sit down and rest.”
After he’d put everything away and the dishwasher was murmuring, he sat down on the couch with me. “How are you feeling?” he said, concerned.
“I’m okay. The bleeding stopped.”
His eyes widened. “You said it was your period.”
“There’s no point in getting upset,” I said, exasperated. “Dr. Camlyn can tell us both Friday what’s safe and what isn’t. We can’t be the only were/human couple he knows of.”
“Okay,” he said uncomfortably, checking the TiVo. “There’s nothing recorded. Do you want to watch a DVD?”
“No,” I said, taking the control from his hand. “I want to talk to you.”
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong? You’re angry.”
“I’m not,” I said wearily. “I’ve just had a busy day, and nothing seemed to get done fast enough. I don’t like not feeling a hundred percent.” I paused. “But I do need to ask you something.”
“About what?” he said warily.
“Nothing bad,” I assured him. “I just have a question to ask you, a kind of moral puzzle.”
Theo gave me an odd look. “Is this some kind of game?”
“No game. I just want to know what you think.”
“Okay. Ask away.”
“Say you’re a leader or a prince. You have a bunch of people you oversee. You have plenty of food and money, but there’s a great evil coming. If you fight the evil, it will either destroy you utterly or at best, kill a lot of your people. You can choose not to fight and save your people, at least most of them, but that means you have to kill someone or several someones in cold blood. What do you do?”
“Are the ones I have to kill to save the rest innocent?” he asked.
“For the sake of argument, yes.”
“Children?”
“No,” I said uneasily. “They’re adults.”
“You kill them,” Theo said easily. “The quicker the better.”
I looked at him, aghast.
“I don’t see the fun in this, if you’re going to be upset,” Theo said, studying me.
Taken For His Own Page 15