by Elena Monroe
Laying kisses along the side of my face, he watched me come for him with a smirk.
My cheeks finally licked by the flames, burned up in embarrassment, realizing how loudly I was moaning with zero apprehension and inhibition.
Watching him closely, looking for emotion in his features, all I found was an affinity for my taste when his fingers disappeared between his lips. His cheeks caving in as he sucked off my orgasm the way I wanted to try that with him.
Pushing him back against the headboard, I let my hand cup his obvious bulge against the thin, unforgiving fabric of his boxer briefs before I pulled the band down, watching him bounce out.
“What do you plan to do, Evey?” I was face to face with his beautiful cock, thick in a way that had me nervous and proportioned in a way that made him seem too perfect.
Maybe God molded everyone after him before he fell from Heaven.
Maybe that’s why we all like the cruel boys with dark eyes and bad attitudes because their ugly is beautiful to us.
“I want to taste you, Bowey…” I bit my lip, feeling unsure but willing to take directions.
Lowering my lips to his tip, I kissed it innocently before I opened my mouth. Keeping my lips tight, I pushed my mouth down on him when his hand combed into my hair, gently holding my head.
“Fuck, Evey.”
God, why do they make the devil irresistible if they want us to keep our damn halos?
Motivated by the grunts and groans leaving his mouth, I dragged my mouth back up his length. Repeating the motion, I found his balls, cupping them carefully while his forearm folded over his eyes like it would be easier to navigate pleasure when all he knew was pain.
With his hand still on my head holding me in place, I pushed my mouth down as far as I could go without choking. He groaned in a way that made me feel so empowered over this man who was too smart and strong for his own good.
Suddenly, I was an equal, all because I knew how to keep my teeth from biting probably the only part of himself he liked.
“Evey,” he barely bit off my name as he looked down at me when I felt his girth twitch against my tongue.
I wanted to watch him come undone and know what that tasted like the same way he knew. Wrapping my hand around him, I worked my mouth up and down while he fought the urge to moan out loud.
My tongue found the edge of his tip and toyed with him when his hand smoothed down to my cheek like I was too precious to know what evil truly tastes like.
Nothing about Bowey was evil enough to taste sour.
His jaw went slack, mouth falling open, and his moans fell to a silent scream when I felt him jerk until I tasted the bitter sweetness of the orgasm I was responsible for. Bowey tasted like my happily ever after and that was never going to get old.
Swallowing the power I felt, I smiled softly up at him when he let his body relax against the pillows, still breathing heavily. Cuddling up to him, I had forgotten about him calling this a gift—it wasn’t—it was expectations I had for my life.
Lying next to Bowen, I watched his chest rise when his hand resting on his chest caught my eye. Bowen’s Clave ring took up most of the real estate on his hand, glimmering in the dim lighting like a billboard claiming his loyalty to something other than me.
Well, I came first and all over it yet it still mocked me.
His soul was theirs.
His heart was mine, but I wanted all of him.
In my free time I had painted a design for his wedding ring that was going to be louder than his devotion to the cult. I hid it under his pillow for him to find later and had forgotten all about it until I pondered his words of a gift.
Reaching under the pillows, my hands patted the mattress looking for the black box when Bowen reached over and opened the small drawer of his bedside table, producing the box I knew was his from me. That wasn’t all that was in his grasp though when I spotted a smaller powder blue box hiding below it.
Dropping the black one in my hands, he leaned back, placing the blue one on the comforter between us. “Did you think that was the gift?” A smirk that was hard to miss filled his face with happiness as I opened the ring box for the first time.
I was waiting to look, still saving my firsts for him.
I never expected my breath to freeze up in my chest when I saw the smooth black signet’s surface engraved with an E outlined in diamonds and butterfly wings blooming off the flat side. It was perfect, just like him, and I was committed to making him see that nothing would tear us apart again.
Every night after CeCe forced us into bed, I would draw a heart over where his was somewhere deep inside his chest and tell him that one day we would be as crazy as his parents. We would be together forever, happily married, and not scared of the world coming between us.
He knew I was terrified of all the ways we could be ripped apart: my mom, her boyfriends, his parents getting sick of taking care of me, Bowey realizing I’m just a friend and nothing more. Every night he would kiss my head and whisper, “No refunds.”
One day we'll be crazy like them… No refunds.
Picking up the ring, I saw the script engraved in the band that read: One day we’ll be crazy like them. I was proud of my creation as I handed it to Bowen while cuddling back into the nook of his arm. “You don’t have to like it…”
His lighthearted, drunken behavior was dissipating, but the orgasm I swallowed left a glow along his features that seemed more angelic and relaxed than usual.
“You aren’t going to believe this.” He sat up again, looking into my eyes as he reached for the blue box. I followed his bewildered expression as he bit his lip, making me nervous, down to his strong hands as he opened my fidgeting palms to place the box inside. “Go on, Evey.”
Pulling the ribbon loose, I opened the box to reveal a platinum band with a cluster of black diamonds at the top and script down the side that read: No refunds.
The familiar heatwave took my eyelids hostage and demanded tears as ransom when I slipped it onto my finger right on top of my engagement ring. Bowey was still there somewhere, and this proved it.
Taking off his Clave ring, I watched him while holding my breath, waiting to see what he would do when he slipped my ring in its place. He just declared me the center of his universe.
More tears crawled down my face, and I couldn’t wait anymore before wrapping my arms around his neck, holding on for dear life when he whispered into my ear, “I mean it, Evey, no refunds. We’re already crazy like them.”
Bowen fell asleep pretty quickly, but my heart was too wired to fall asleep. It had been empty for years and was now finally full, giving me energy I needed to burn off. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I tried to listen to the noise outside the room so I could tell if everyone else was asleep, but it was quieter than a church.
Neglecting my powder blue robe, I adjusted my silk matching pajama set and headed for the door. No one really ate during dinner; everyone was quietly awkward and too shell-shocked that Bowen wasn’t their regular dark cloud to actually enjoy him.
My stomach twisted in a knot, needing some kind of substance that would sit in my stomach instead of in my heart like Bowen did. Stepping into the dark, mostly black kitchen, I went right for the fridge in search of something hearty when I stumbled upon croissants on the way.
Taking it out of the glass pedestal, I practically shoved the whole thing in my mouth when I felt a presence and shifted my eyes up. My shoulders were up to my ears when the light above the island illuminated the room to show Khaos leaning against the counter with a mixing bowl full of cereal.
The remnants were still close by for refills.
“Have you ever tried putting your bowl of cereal in the freezer? Game changer,” his voice was so carefree and easy. It made me hate him.
My voice was only that easy when I forced myself into being the good little Denmark girl.
“What are you doing in the dark?” I was actually curious even though I told myself not to be. It’s Khaos, th
ere’s no rhyme or reason, just chaos.
Shoveling a spoon full of fruit loops into his mouth, he spoke around chewing, “Grace is super pregnant, so she passed out early. Finally got her alone and she chose to snore instead of doing me. I digress… You’re using my lady as your new, and now you’re just missing borrowed, right?”
Did I want to answer this honestly?
Apprehensive, I let a slow yes slip from my lips when Khaos glided over like he was Jesus walking on water or Moses parting the sea before stopping right in front of me. He looked over his shoulder before saying, “I got you covered.”
Questioning Khaos was like asking how the world was created, you got a lot of answers and you could easily believe any of them.
Pushing something cold into my hands, I flinched, looking down at the old skeleton keys hanging on a chain that screamed Bowen. Some part of me knew it wasn’t his to give up at all. “What is this?”
Throwing his hands up, he smirked. “Half-truths, baby. I’m bound to not say anymore, or it ruins the fun. You can’t ask for help either. Truth only reveals itself to one person at a time.” Looking at him like he was crazy, he huffed and continued, “Abigail, Vic, Me—we all broke first under the weight of truth. Now it’s your turn, butterfly.”
I didn’t break first though, Bowen did. So, by that logic, was this his truth to uncover or mine?
“Don’t lose that. Bo will bury me six feet deep and forget to tell my loved ones where I am.”
Turning it over in my hand, I looked at it in its near perfect condition. Khaos was trusted with this key and was now giving it to me. Why would Khaos have his trust when he hates him the most?
My head spun with theories as I ripped a part of the pastry with my teeth and chewed it the most unlady-like way I could. Bowen was breaking me but not as much as I broke him already.
BOWEN
Waking up in uncomfortable positions was something I was used to. When you get wasted every day for fun, you wake up with regret, rage, and something like a limb that’s asleep.
I woke up with my arms wrapped around Eve and her cheek pressed into my chest and that’s when the regret set in. Not rage or a sleeping limb like I might have hoped for—regret.
You can’t pull back the curtain and then pretend they didn’t see all the shit you keep hidden from them.
I had gotten so drunk I forgot there was a curtain at all.
I drank enough to never black out, so I was fully aware of my actions and still recovering from Eve’s mouth being around my dick. All night that bastard was begging for seconds, but I didn’t have the heart to wake her up from her slumber.
Let’s be real: I didn’t deserve her pleasure anyways.
And she deserved my coldness for simply breaking me first.
Carefully pulling my arm out from under her, I watched her stir and reach out for me as I escaped my bed altogether. She mumbled my name a few times and it nearly broke whatever was left in me hanging on to being cold.
Sitting up, the black blanket contrasted with her pale skin only made her baby blues shine brighter. Her exposed chest was tempting me to have morning wood when I did enough damage last night. I gave her more of me than I bargained for, and now she was going to expect that level of niceness from me when princess hadn’t earned it.
Those parts of me were reserved for my Evey, not the tea party version.
“Where are you going?” Her small voice still drenched in a sleepy tone reached me just as my hand on the door handle pushed down, stopping me in my tracks.
“I need some air.” I had no real reason to escape other than she needed to be reminded I was heartless until the pretty princess shit was gone for good.
I could hear her rustling behind me, standing and forcing me to turn around. “I’ll come with you, Bowey.” Still naked, she was flirting with me silently. Her body did more flirting than she intended to, and it was killing all reserve left in me.
Leaning against the door, I shook my head no before I vocalized it. “No. I want to be alone.”
“Don’t be silly. Just wait a second while I find an outfit.”
The filter on her voice was grating and irritating my last nerve. I wanted the Eve who wasn’t afraid to put people in their place, the one who said and did what she wanted.
I wanted the Eve who hijacked the bachelor party and wanted to be covered in my worst vices because she knew that was the only way to get through to me—to drag me behind her, straight to hell.
“Eve. Stop. I fucked up last night. It was a mistake, and we aren’t repeating it.” Every syllable felt sharp, and my aim was deadly as I watched her face fall from grace.
I ripped my eyes from her trembling lip because if I looked any longer, I couldn’t be like this to her anymore.
Paying no mind to her nudity, she walked over to me, forcing me to look at her. “What do you mean mistake? You can’t just take back a whole night because you don’t feel like being nice to me today.”
I forced a sick kind of laugh that mocked her juvenile feelings putting me in the same category as nice. It felt as bad as it tasted in my mouth when I pushed off the door and leaned into her personal space. “Mistake, as in it won’t happen again because I regret it. And for the record? I’m never nice.”
Making a quick getaway, I exhaled deeply in the hallway like I was safe from her, this argument, her trembling fucking lip and my sick way of mocking it.
I barely made it down the hall before her full-frontal nudity followed me, in nothing but feelings.
Turning around, I pinned her against the wall, looking around to make sure the hallway was empty. It was for now, but we had unwelcome guests who were as unpredictable as Eve. “What do you think you’re doing? We have guests,” I barked the words against her sensitive skin.
She said nothing as I watched her hand come up between us and land across my cheek in a well-deserved slap.
“No refunds, asshole.”
Her words might as well have been a dagger to the heart on top of the perfect sting of her slap. My head was still turned to one side, absorbing what felt like her hand still against my skin while contemplating if I could break her before breakfast.
She’s almost there. I wanted this to be as painless as possible yet here we are bleeding and handing each other band aids.
I didn’t twist my face to the voice I knew as Khaos. “Did you guys forget we’re here? Hurts a little.”
Ignoring him completely, I spoke in a low voice once my eyes found hers swelling in unshed tears. “Maybe you’ll finally learn. You’ll never survive being an Astor as the weak princess waiting to be saved. I’m not saving anyone, princess.”
My hands closed into fists, pushing against the wall, calculating how much more I could push her. Pulling away from her, I jogged downstairs and disappeared into the library I kept under lock and key.
I needed to leave her without me as a comfort.
I needed her to fucking break because I wasn’t marrying a princess, I’m marrying Eve.
Monitoring my consumption of Henny, I knew I needed to be sober, otherwise I would fall into the same trap I did yesterday of being normal. Usually no one is around when I’m drunk, and now I know I’m basically a party trick.
An hour later, I came out of my secret room and hid the key back where I kept it. Hearing chatter in the kitchen, I headed that way when Vic came in from the other direction.
Khaos barely got the words out without laughing. “Hey, Daddy. I’m sorry to report that I can’t give you MVP of the night.” Moving towards me, he slapped my ass without warning. “This guy. Nice job, buddy, we all heard that last night. A little pregame for the wedding.”
Ignoring him completely, I looked at Eve’s cheeks flared up in pink.
The girls and the guys had gone their separate ways to get ready when my cell phone buzzed against the table. I sat in a leather chair, trying to pace how much Henny I consumed, but it was making me more anxious. I’d rather drown out the feelings and pret
end sobriety is fictional.
“You good?” Grimm rarely spoke, but when he did it was normally to take inventory of everyone being alive—sometimes the dead too if he was having a bad day.
I ignored him, pushing the phone up to my face while watching the doorbell monitor to see my mom standing there with her middle finger pushed up to the camera. She was holding garment bags and a coffee in her well-manicured hands.
Pushing up, the guys’ attention all landed on me, and without a word I went to open the door for my mother in hopes that I could convince her to go around the house because I had enough trespassers in my space already.
“Mother.” My voice was flat and unamused.
“I really hope you didn’t carry that miserable ass attitude around all day. It’s your wedding day, could you at least pretend to be happy?” She handed me the garment bag and sipped her coffee when Khaos flew out of the doorway right into her arms.
Spinning her around so his face was facing mine, he smiled so big it made me want to hurt him. He always had a place in his heart for my mom in case my parents ever broke up. I was pretty sure my dad would go to great lengths before throwing in the towel, she was half his age and a ten if you ever saw one.
Khaos’s hands smoothed down her back, forcing my eyes into dangerous slits when he responded for me. “He was certainly happy last night… We all heard a lot we didn’t ask to.”
Mouthing a death threat, I waited for him to release her. She started walking past us, and I drove my closed fist into his stomach, watching him fold. Holding his shoulder, I whispered, “Don’t even think about it. You have secrets too, Khaos.”
Catching up to my mom, I followed her outside where everything was being set up in my backyard for our sunset wedding and reception. Everything was black and a vibrant teal like the wings of her butterfly. There were forget-me-nots and candles in abundance at every corner—I wanted things in a certain mood.