by Elena Monroe
I lifted and lowered myself slowly onto his hard thickness with my wrists still in his grip, right above his heart that I could feel pounding beneath my palms. We didn’t let our eyes drift from each other, as I adjusted myself to his size that was trying to break through my entrance. Bowen’s fingers dropped my wrists long enough to relocate to my hips, digging into my hip bones to try to keep me still.
Sitting further down, I felt the pain of the quiet pop of his tip finally push through my tightness when I stilled, taking in the feeling as I lowered further down onto his length. A silent scream got caught in my chest while I adjusted to him. Every part of me was too tight, he barely fit.
His breath was shaky at best and his hands were like handcuffs for my hips, but I knew if he broke the way I did—he would get to feel the same kind of high that wrapped around me like bravery. My hands on his shoulders were trying to keep me upright as I sunk deeper into this moment that I had waited so long for, and I felt his lips kiss the inside of my arm like a silent apology.
“Please, Bowen, please. I need you.” It came out as almost a whisper as I rocked my hips against his tight grip on me, still trying to keep me from moving too fast.
I could feel his mouth open against my throat before my hands pulled down the button up still covering his shoulders as I sped up my movements, relishing in the newfound pleasure.
“Goddamn it, Evey. Slow, fucking slow.” His hand found my face when his lips pressed to mine. He tasted sweeter than any pain and when his tongue conquered my mouth, I tasted the slowness he favored.
Slowing my hips down, I gasped at how full Bowen felt inside me. “How much slower can we go, Bowey? It’s been years without you.”
It was painful being a virgin at this age.
It was more painful begging my childhood best friend and husband to finally fuck me.
More painful than that was my stepbrother smelling that virginity and using it against me.
His fingers were going to leave bruises on my hips, but I didn’t care, it was worth it.
Taking his hands in mine, I dragged them up my bare body to my small, perky breasts that hadn’t really changed since puberty hit us when I left.
His mouth was open, soundless, and his features were soft while his hands tightened against my breasts. Leaning forward, his open mouth collided with my skin that felt like it was on fire when his tongue flicked my hard nipple. “Fuck, how does all of you taste this good? I don’t deserve you.”
Still rocking my hips, I gasped at how much further I had sunk down onto him. I should feel regretful that I didn’t really give him a choice—me, us, this, being the Bowey I wanted. His only choice was to cave or leave me rejected the way he always did.
I was too overwhelmed to pay attention to anything but how much swaying my hips had him rubbing my clit in the ways I knew would make me come.
I didn’t have anything to compare it to but poetry and the way it feeds your soul.
“Eve, are you okay?” His thumb brushed my cheek, and I hadn't even realized some stray tears leaked out when my eyes were closed. Pushing me over, I felt the soft bed hug me with Bowen between my legs, still deep within me.
Nodding, I was praying he wouldn’t stop when I felt my chest give up on controlling my breath.
“We can stop. That’s enough. I’m not going to hurt you.” I could hear the crack of emotion in his voice.
Grabbing his biceps, his hands holding himself up more than necessary, practically running away without pulling out, I held on tightly hoping he’d never let go. “It's a good painful. A kind of painful that could erase all the other pain. Please don’t stop, Bowey.”
His tongue licked his lips, and I felt his eyes drift down to my chest. Gaining more leverage, I felt his knees push into the backs of my thighs as his hips thrusted into mine brutally, making me gasp for air. I didn’t know I could feel more repaired—my body, my soul, my heart.
“You’re beautifully painful, Evey. Fuck.”
I forced my eyes to stay open, taking in his face that gave up trying to hide how he felt. His mouth was gaping open, his muscles tense and tight, and something in his eyes liked how painful this felt because we knew it was going to change things.
“Is that what you like, Bowey? You can tell me,” I whispered between us as my legs wrapped around the back of his legs, bringing him closer. I was filling the silence around us just to ease the tension that hadn’t been satisfied yet.
Lowering down to his elbows, I could feel how jagged his breath was against my neck when he whispered back, “I’m more comfortable with pain… But you, Evey, are the opposite.”
A small smile crept over my lips when I felt his hips push harder into mine, massaging my sensitive clit. I felt the warmth crawl up my body that I recognized from masturbating all these years to what my mind imagined Bowey as.
In a failed attempt to tell him I was coming, I tightened my grip on his bicep and my back arched, knowing all this friction was leading to an orgasm I desperately wanted to be at his hands.
Laying kisses along my neck, shoulder, and down to my breasts—it was like he knew already. No matter how much time or distance between us, he was so attuned to me.
Wrapping my legs around him tighter, I felt his hips take a faster pace that felt even more brutal while he forced my pussy to mold to his size. He was going to be the only thing my pussy remembered. “Bowey, yes,” I mumbled around a moan that slipped out from between my lips.
Chasing our breath, it filled the quiet room until he whispered, “I know, Evey, come for me.” His words felt so sinful that my whole body almost came on demand for him, feeling everything tense and still in me while an orgasm reigned over my body.
Bowen stalled, his hips pressing into me as I squeezed around him in a tight vice, coming with a wave of moans. I felt Bowen’s kisses cover every inch of me, trying to steal any of the pain even though I was feeling none of it anymore.
My eyes floated open again, looking up at him when I whispered, “Bowey, did you?” I was so distracted by the stages of losing my virginity that it was too hard to notice every way I felt good because of him.
“It’s not about me, Evey. It’s about you,” Pushing back against his heels I leaned up to my elbows, trying to follow his eyes. He wanted me to feel good while he neglected himself some more, all he had done was starve himself of all the pleasures of life.
Not anymore.
This was our redemption story.
Pushing myself onto his lap again, I was already chasing my second orgasm while he didn’t even experience a first one. “I know you’re Famine, but I’m not letting you not enjoy this.” He wanted his Evey back and this moment was being pulled from our childhood.
I was always convincing him whatever trouble I cooked up would be for his enjoyment and I was rarely wrong.
Maybe he would regret wanting his Evey back.
His hand was squeezing himself tightly in a closed fist and his features screwed up in desperation. “Goddamn it, Evey. You can’t save me.”
I watched his hand move slowly and painfully up his length between us, pleasuring himself instead of just enjoying me the way I craved him to. My breasts were eye level, and I could feel him committing them to memory while he groaned softly like this would be the only time he gives into me.
He moved like I weighed nothing when he sat on his ass against the headboard still touching himself. “We can save each other...” Full of hope I knew it wouldn’t penetrate his surface, but it needed to be said anyways.
False hope is still some kind of hope.
Adjusting myself on his lap, legs on either side of his body, I felt his tip smooth over the wetness between my legs. “Why can’t you just let me waste away the way I want to?” His lips were so close to mine and he was so close to caving.
“Because we love each other, we save each other. We survived hell for this, for us, because we deserve this.” My mouth stayed open when his lips crashed against mine. I felt his hand ab
andon himself, moving one to my ass and the other to the back of my neck.
I was swallowing his ragged breaths with our foreheads pressed together when his hand on my ass guided my hips to work over him. “Say it again, Evey.” His words were horse.
I didn’t need to ask what I needed to repeat as his hands tightened against my skin. “We deserve this.” My hips swayed at a faster pace, and I could feel the heat work up to my throat and that familiar feeling that was pushing me over the edge again.
His lips found my neck, sucking the sensitive skin, while he held me flush against his chest. His other hand dropped down to my thigh, smoothing up my leg and licking the spot he just sucked into marking me for the world to see. “Marking me, Bowey?”
“Every inch, Evey.”
I felt an overwhelming desire to mark him back when my teeth sunk into the skin between his neck and shoulder. I wanted to mark him so when anyone else noticed, they took it as a warning that I wasn’t someone that was anything but permanent in his life.
“Eve, fuck,” his voice was exasperated and horse the way it could only be if he was close to coming. I recognized his drenched syllables and the tight grip on my skin that demanded I not stop even if he regretted later.
Slowing down my hips, he took control, flipping me over until I was on my back again, his hands at the back of my knees and his hips pushing between my legs. He was all the things I forgot he was: strong, confident, capable of taking ownership of me the way he did when we were younger.
Wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down into me, his lips brushed mine. “I don’t - I’m not wearing a condom, Eve.”
Shaking my head, no longer accepting excuses, I whispered back, “I can’t get pregnant, Bowen…” I was praying he didn’t ask for details or reasons because I didn’t have enough strength to lie to him the way I nearly did earlier.
I was Eve Astor, and I was supposed to protect him, if that meant half-truths then so be it.
Not even a second later his head dropped next to mine, and his hips worked in a way that made me gasp at how deep he felt. Feeling him jerk and release inside me hit every sensitive nerve, forcing me to come again as I held onto him.
We both decided in that moment that surviving didn’t have to be painful anymore.
His body collapsed onto mine, still between my legs, and his mouth continued to shovel out harsh breaths in his recovery. Laying there for longer than normal, I soaked him up until I nudged him, needing to let my lungs expand more without his weight on me.
Holding himself above me, he looked at me like he was going to ask about the grenade I threw between us right before he came, but instead he studied my features quietly. He rolled off me, his arm wrapping around my waist before dragging my ass back to his body and warmth.
I was awake, trying to concoct some kind of explanation for why I can’t get pregnant beside my frail body until I heard the light snoring of Bowen next to me. Wanting to fall asleep along with him, I twisted in his arms until I was tangled up against his chest. Dragging the blankets over us, I couldn’t have felt more comfortable.
EVE
My stomach growled so hard it woke me up out of a dead sleep. I hadn’t eaten anything except the bun I shoved into my mouth to piss my mother off when she claimed I was fat.
Bowen’s arm was still around me, holding me tight against him, and I had to wiggle my way free from my sleeping giant. He hadn’t moved a centimeter and something about that made me smile.
Wrapping a blanket around my shoulders, I crept through the room to the door before I carefully pulled it open in search of leftovers.
The house was quiet despite our guests sleeping off their hangovers before their Sunday drives home. Holding the blanket tight in my fist around my chest, I tiptoed down the stairs until I rounded the corner and came face to face with Grimm.
He was sitting in a chair across from the couch with a gun in his hand resting on his thigh, and it sent goosebumps down my spine making me stand up straighter. I had never seen someone holding a gun, and something about it felt like assault to my senses as I imagined him using it.
My eyes followed to where his landed, and to my surprise, I saw Elias passed out on his back on the couch with his arms above his head. My whole body stiffened like he would sense I was in the room and wake up when Grimm stole my attention. “I don’t trust him. He tried hitting on Abigail earlier during the reception and wasn’t good at taking no for an answer. What do you need, Eve?”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, no doubt the truth, I tried to force the words out. “I just wanted some leftovers… Woke up hungry.”
Grimm stood, gun still in hand. “Who is this guy to you?” He walked to the kitchen like he had learned all the exits, entrances, and any type of risk. He already zoned in on the biggest risk—Elias. Pulling open the fridge, he dropped the gun on the island counter before pulling out a stack of aluminum trays of leftovers.
“Bad memories. I don’t want to talk about it…” I watched Grimm move around so effortlessly for someone who had never been in Bowen’s house. Putting a plate in the microwave for me, his eyes searched mine for answers I wasn’t willing to give up yet.
He must have realized I was holding the blanket to me with more effort than I should considering I didn’t want to flash him any part of my body. Holding the plate and picking up his gun, he waved it forward, silently pushing me out of the room and back up the stairs.
Halfway up the stairs when we stopped in front of Bowen’s door, he gave me advice only someone who knew Bowen could. “He’s going to figure out why we all dislike him, Eve. Just tell him so it doesn’t blow up in your faces. I’m speaking from experience.”
Taking the plate from him, I held onto the blanket around me when I turned around to see Bowen sitting on the edge of the bed in his underwear. His eyes were sleepy and his body practically glimmered in the dark room.
“Tell me what, Evey?” His hand pushed through his hair and suddenly the knots in my stomach from hunger were there for a different reason now.
“Elias got drunk and passed out on the couch. Grimm was being a watch guard downstairs because he doesn’t like him.” Getting into bed, I put the plate on the nightstand, no longer interested in it at all.
“He’s still in my house?” His voice was unrecognizably angry, riddled with ways to read between the lines and his new intentions.
Picking at a bun in my hands, I nibbled a piece I broke off the edge while I wasted time before having to respond. “He’s harmless… just sleeping.”
The lie made me want to throw up.
Just the idea of protecting Elias made me want to throw up.
His back was still to me and I couldn’t read his expressions the way I relied on. “If he’s so harmless then why is Grimm guarding his every move? Would you like to explain who he really is yet? It won’t be pretty when I find out, Evey.”
Grasping at whatever I could, I settled on regurgitating all I had. “Grimm said he hit on Abigail during the reception… he’s being protective.”
Finally twisting around, he got back into bed but not before reaching over me and grabbing a gun from the small drawer in the nightstand. Placing it under his pillow, I watched the metal catch whatever light it could on its shiny surface.
“Not as protective as me.”
“Bowey. I really don’t want to be around guns. Elias is downstairs.” I didn’t like Elias still being here or the gun being so close—I could feel myself flinching already.
Fluffing his pillow, he laid down like it wasn’t there at all. “Grimm hates everyone. He doesn’t threaten to kill anyone outside of Clave’s demands. That means Elias is worth killing, and now I want to know why.”
Trying to fall asleep was pointless when Bowen was curled up with a book in his hands and a gun under his pillow.
Picking at the leftovers while comfortable under a mountain of blankets, I checked my phone for any evidence of Elias. As soon as I opened the text, I felt
my skin crawl with invisible spiders at his words.
ELIAS: Everything you thought it would be?
Erasing the message, I kept myself aware of Bowen. He was going to kill Elias if he didn’t give up on torturing me.
This wasn’t Denmark, and I wasn’t under their thumbs anymore.
BOWEN
Her mom’s words rang through my head about being damaged goods and not being able to provide me an heir.
Those words kept me up all night even though I discounted having kids long before now. Braeden being the asshole he was is enough to make up your mind and yet I had a pile of reasons.
Watching her sleep, wrapped up in a soft blanket, still under a pile of the duvet made me laugh. Eve used me as a heater our whole childhood, constantly stealing my warmth but now I would guess it’s for different reasons.
Her frail frame and untouched food was becoming a habit I noticed.
Kissing her shoulder, I found a shirt and some joggers to put on while I rounded up the people who didn’t live here. It was 7 AM and I was prepared to kick everyone out.
Closing the door softly behind me, I started with Grimm and Abigail who were already up and gathering their stuff which I appreciated.
Holding his hand up, I stopped waiting for more. “Anything I need to take care of on the way out?”
By anything, he meant bodies and by bodies he meant Elias.
Shaking my head, I moved on to Khaos who was still fast asleep when I dipped my fingers in the glass of water and flicked it over his face.
Khaos didn’t spring up the way I wanted, instead he simply rolled over into Grace, whispering about how dirty she was. My face twisted in horror, and I let my open hand slap across his face at quarter strength.
Rocketing up, he scrubbed his cheek and gave me every profanity fueled insult he could while I shouted over my shoulder. “Hit the road, Khaos. Don’t make me find creative ways to wake you up again.”