by Elena Monroe
She peered around his body, poking him with the end of the knife even more. “I know you don’t know how to drive so I was coming to kidnap you.”
Turning her attention to Elias, she grabbed a handful of his shirt and yanked him backwards, giving me breathing room. “Corrupt recognizes corruption. I knew I didn’t like you. You’re lucky it’s me and not her husband. Heard he likes to kill for fun. Imagine how fun you’ll be.”
Pushing him from the steps, she watched him stumble to keep himself upright when the door closed on him with us safely behind it.
Right before it clicked closed, I saw his lips pinch into blowing me a kiss.
The catatonic allure of not feeling licked my heels, and I wanted nothing more to give in.
He wouldn’t let me have a happy ending without him.
Grace put away the knife and sat on the set of stairs to the right as she rubbed her pregnant belly. “Go get dressed. We aren’t staying here.”
That’s all it took to swat the numbness away: people on your side.
Normally everyone chooses my mom and stepdad’s side, calling me insecure, attention seeking, and the twisting my love for Bowen into calling me his slut.
I’ll never forget the day my mother screamed at me at the dinner table calling me nothing more than his slut when I refused to drop talking about him.
I rushed to my closet to find something to wear when suddenly everything felt like I was asking for it. Every little dress, skintight body suit, and piece of lingerie suddenly screamed for the wrong attention. All I wanted to do was hide my body and pretend it was a bad dream.
I didn’t wear any of this for me… I wore it for my husband. I wore it because I liked teasing him, pushing him, and I liked the way his eyes scanned me before his fists would clench.
His desire for me made me feel more beautiful than any fabric or mirror could.
Elias tainted that by taking what was always for Bowen for himself.
He was deranged enough to drug me to sleep while I was on my period just so he could… do whatever he did to me… and he thought I enjoyed it. Did he think I asked for it.
KHAOS
Grace never calls me. She’s still trying to break nasty habits of being a ghost.
I see her looking for cameras, avoiding phone calls, and still showing nerves around people she doesn’t know. She’d straight up kill me if I mentioned it, but I notice.
Grace is my favorite movie, and I watch that shit every chance I can.
When her contact picture, albeit one that was appropriately of her pregnant boobs, I slid down into my chair during our biweekly meeting that I had actually started attending.
Normally Vic would take the meeting minutes and send them to me. Guess he was over that if I could poison a whole room, survive a few near-death experiences, and knock up Grace in the meantime.
Slipping far enough down so that my eyes were barely above the desk, I answered my phone in a whisper, “Grace? Are you all right? You never-”
Cutting me off, she spoke in her California cool tone yet the words she said made my jaw tense. “I’m not missing lunch… something happened with Eve. That guy no one likes—he was here, feeling her up and shit. I don’t wanna leave her alone.”
The hand around my phone clenched so hard I swore I heard it crack under my less than sunny disposition. “Okay, bring her here but keep it quiet until I can figure out Bo.”
That was the real source of my dramatics. Telling him wasn’t going to be fun or artfully manipulative in the way I loved to give people truths.
Sitting back up in my chair, I felt all the guys’ eyes on me while some dude I didn’t know presented his slides on our annual gross.
Yawn.
Boring.
Wake me when it’s over.
Vic’s stern eyes bore into me like I was a child who didn’t know how to behave at the banquet. “What the fuck is the matter with you?” His words were a violent whisper full of threats.
The insults of Vic were forever going to cause internal bleeding. He wasn’t just vicious or constantly competing with everyone in the room but taking out his opponents with his standards no one meets.
It was sick how much I still wanted his approval. I think we all did in different ways.
He’s the backbone for us.
I’m the heart.
Grimm’s the strength.
Bowen’s the weakness.
Bowen is the one who suffers the most silently and we let him. Eve will change that for him but not until her demons are dead.
“I’m listening to our gross annual report, do you mind shutting the fuck up?” I flashed him a big smile when I dropped my attention to my phone before sneaking a glance at Bowen across from me.
He might have been listening, it was hard to tell, he always looked like he was listening for the sole reason that he was never talking. Stretching enough to kick him from under the table, I wagged my eyebrows and pushed my head over to signal him to meet me in the hall.
I had to think of a lie before I told the truth. Normally that’s how it works, they come in pairs.
Letting the pen in my hand bounce off the table over and over again, creating a tapping noise, was bound to get me tossed from the meeting and signal Bowen to leave too. Thinking quickly, I got a notification of a wire transfer on my phone. I didn’t handle money for the Clave, that was all Vic, and this wasn’t from him.
Bowen wiring ten grand to my account without any notice meant he needed something, and I was supposed to know what it was without asking.
Perfect lie to go with my truth.
I did know exactly what he was after, but it was fun to see him squirm when I cornered him in the hallway adjacent to the frosted glass conference room we barely used.
“Go, now, Khaos. Before I kill you with my bare hands.” Vic wasn’t tense and his voice didn’t even shout. He simply dismissed me, and I took the offer, hauling ass out of the room with my phone.
I paced the hallway length a few times before realizing Bowen wasn’t behind me at all. Still fidgeting with the pen, I cracked the door open and threw the pen at Bowen’s back, hoping it got his attention.
Thankfully, he turned around annoyed and stalked up to the door with an emotionless expression. “What do you want?”
“I woke up to money again… so weird, right? Ten whole grand for being me.” My voice carried a tune and the smirk tugged at the corners of my mouth, threatening to grow into a full-blown smile while I leaned into my shoulder.
Every six months, I would create a new ID and passport along with a fabricated dummy debit card that’d be set to expire once the funds are gone. It was proof Bowen had a heart despite all the research I did to prove he, in fact, did not.
Following him into the kitchen, I watched him make a new cup of coffee, brewing into a matte black mug, avoiding the discussion like he always did.
Bowen glared at me while uncapping the bottle of Hennessy on the counter, pouring it into his coffee like it was fucking creamer. The taste invaded my mouth without me even trying to imagine how disgusting that combo was, and my face screwed in response.
“You know what the money is for. Don’t piss me off this early,” he quipped.
Pretending to fake a gag, I held up my finger needing a moment while I shook the taste out of my mouth. “So you want me to spend ten grand on your next birthday party?”
Turning to face me, Bowen’s glare intensified. “I gave you one set of directions five years ago and that was the last time I planned on discussing your role in this. I wire you the money so I don’t ever have to have this conversation.”
Five Years Ago
First Time
“Heads or tails? Quick.” I tossed the spare coin I found in my back pocket into the air and waited for him to call it.
Snatching the coin out of the air and tossing it behind him, he leaned down grabbing the ankles of a girl who was passed out wearing nothing but a slip. I was forced to grab her shoulders when h
e lifted her ankles waiting for me.
“Back seat, I don’t want to scare her if she wakes up in the trunk.”
“Good idea, I still have glaring PTSD from getting out of trunks at Patmos.” I followed his lead and tried to balance her weight on my thigh while I yanked the door open.
“We should have welded that shit shut. I told Vic you’re practically Houdini.”
I felt my chest puff with the compliment that was supposed to be an insult. Scooting next to sleeping beauty, I let her head rest on my lap while Bowen stayed put not closing the door, clearly annoyed by something I did. “What the fuck are you doing? We don’t sit with the girl we just kidnapped.”
“Rescue mission. It’s a rescue mission. Maybe if you started referring to it correctly you wouldn’t feel like a bad guy.”
“Nothing erases bad guy. I’m preeminent.” Closing the door, he climbed in the front of the SUV we normally used for Clave business.
Smoothing her hair down and making sure the satin was pulled down as much as I could, Bowen kept giving me the evil eye in the mirror.
We were breaking the rules.
We were being heroes instead of villains.
We were rescuing this girl because he couldn’t save Eve.
Nothing was lost on me. Bowen wasn’t so secretive if you just got close enough to pay attention. Eve would always be the love of his life and when that love is ripped away prematurely, it’ll never feel like closure.
The girl had tape around her wrists and cuffs around her ankles because we only had one pair. We weren’t prepared to steal Clave property, let alone have the shit we needed to do it.
I got a call from Bowen at three in the morning, mid half-birthday celebration, and I knew whatever it was required my skill set.
Judgment free. No one else provides that.
Grimm wants to judge you until you’re pressure cooked long enough to tell him everything.
Vic comes with strings for his favors, and this one? He’d owe him his whole life.
“Uh, Bo, she’s waking up.” I wasn’t panicking but seriously going through the catalog in my mind making sure that I did in fact give her a sedative and not a starburst.
He was driving with a bottle of Henny between his thighs as he proceeded to twist around to speak. “Handle it. I’m driving. You said that was going to keep her knocked out.”
I didn’t bother saying how I might have fucked up. Instead, I turned my attention to her, soothing her and telling her we were going to help her.
“Who are you?! What do you want from me? Please!? I won’t tell anyone, I swear!” She was begging, and in any other circumstance I would have happily let her touch my dick.
She tried to sit up with a struggle when I helped her upright and squeezed her hands in mine. “We got you out of that place. You’re safe. We’re the good guys… well, tonight anyways.”
Everything was good until Bowen’s dumb ass looked at her in the rearview mirror. Her eyes flew open even wider, and it made me debate if I truly gave her a fun drug instead of a sleepy one.
She clutched onto my leg, trying to get my attention while she breathed heavily. “That’s him. That’s the guy. He picked me from all these girls. We were all in a van for hours and he had me take off my clothes.” She spoke in a hushed whisper, but it was no use. Bowen’s hearing was unnatural.
He never spoke, always listened.
“I can hear you. I chose you to save, so congratulations,” his voice was flat, and it made this seem like a game she wouldn’t win let alone survive.
Leaning forward between the seats, I stared at him. “What’s up with the nudity? Anything you wanna share?”
“Checking for things. Wounds, abuse, scars—it’s typical.” Another gulp of Hennessy down the hatch.
“She’s not Eve. I know you miss her, man. Can’t say the same. Little she-devil was always beating me up.”
His hand around the steering wheel tightened, and I knew I shouldn’t have said her name.
“I don’t have memories that aren’t old. I don’t know what her body looks like. I don’t know how she grew into her features. I’m always finding her in others.” His confession was one-hundred percent alcohol induced, but I didn’t care.
Substances make us brave and honest.
Pulling into his driveway, I looked out the back window for any nosey neighbors before the door yanked open. Grabbing her ankles, she struggled the whole time.
She didn’t want to be saved by guys with angelic faces and villainous habits.
Bowen finally snapped, grabbing her face in his hand and letting his fingers sink into her cheeks. “You wanna go back there? Donte doesn’t follow the rules. He’ll fuck you every day until they decide where you’ll go. He’ll decide your fate and it won’t be pretty. Depending on how much he breaks you in with his dick, you could be sold to some rich perv, put on an island to be a slave, or worse—useless and dead. So pick your poison.”
No one knew what Bowen truly did.
None of us wanted to know what each other did.
Sex trafficking was a hard pill to swallow when I loved sex—the consensual kind.
She shook her head slowly and yanked her hands away from him even after he was honest.
He didn’t even have anywhere to put her. I went through options mentally while he popped off. Library, wine cellar (hold the wine, Henny only), attic—no cage or padded rooms that I knew of.
She let us bring her inside with less of a fight, and only tears dripping down her eyes while she accepted her fate.
Fate was freedom. We all process differently.
To my surprise, Bowen led us both upstairs to a hidden door, brushing a hand over the corner and pressing until the door popped open.
Mental note: he has secret rooms.
Inside there was a set of stairs and an open space that was void of anything but a carpet and an iron cage. It looked familiar when I clapped my hands together and shouted, “From Sins and Forgiveness? I’ll never forget these cages of pleasure.”
Our hostage’s face crumbled, and I ate my words. “Wild night. I’ve never had so many mouths on me.”
Once she was guided inside the cage, her hands grasped onto mine, yanking me closer. “Please don’t leave me! Take me with you. Don’t leave me with him.”
“He’s not going to hurt you. I’ll bring over a care package tomorrow. Do you like video games? Starbursts?”
Bowen pulled me away by the back of my shirt and closed the cage on his hostage. He even pushed me down the stairs just to make sure I got some distance.
“We need an agreement. Maybe a contract. I’m not a rehab program but we can’t just let her go now.” Another big gulp of Henny to clear the mind. I doubted his mind was anything but organized.
Fishing the starburst package from my back pocket I flipped it inside out and waved to Bowen for a sharpie.
Speaking as I wrote a binding agreement between him and I, “You don’t have an assistant. We’d keep an eye on her and she’d be a Clave employee, so we’d have a backup plan if she runs.”
“If you didn’t act like such an imbecile, people might actually get the idea you have brains.” Signing his name away to the new shiny cause, he drank himself sideways.
He started walking away with his coffee mug and the same flat expression he always wore. The memory stole my focus and I had to run ahead to plant myself in front of him. “Don’t be pissed off.”
Taking his mug from him, I watched him sear in a way that made me uncomfortable. I could feel his stare glaring into the truth before I had a chance to say it, “Grace is bringing Eve to the office.” Clamping my eyes closed, I waited for whatever anger was coming my way. All I knew was it wasn’t going to be hot coffee because that mug was fucking glued to my hands.
“Why exactly is that happening?” he spoke through his clenched teeth.
Peeling my eyes open, Bowen hadn’t moved an inch, his eyes locked and loaded depending on my answer. “Something happe
ned… I’m not sure what. She never calls me so I knew it was serious. Thought her water broke, but the nugget is still safely inside her. I’m not jealous or anything, I’ve already slated baby roles for family game night, it’s fine.”
“Khaos,” he threatened my ADHD in one solid word.
I didn’t prepare for this part. Normally when I gave someone the push they needed, I had already plotted. Bowen saw through all that shit and it ruined making this fun.
Holding my wrists above my head, resting them there, I felt my ADHD spike. “I don’t know what happened. She was supposed to teach your wife to drive then she called. She never sounds worried. It’s Grace’s thing… calm under pressure. I’m the thespian in the family.”
Bowen didn’t even wait for the period at the end of my thoughts. He pushed past me to his office with the same scowl on his face as before. Mouthing the word in a scream, I let a dragged-out fuck leave my mouth silently.
I knew who Elias was, and now I was in a dilemma of not being able to intercept the information colliding against Bowen. I was feeding Eve pieces of her past, giving her the map to finding the truth on her own and my own damn wife managed to figure it out before she could.
Texting Grace as quick as my fingers could, I typed out: Don’t freak out. I know who Elias is. Knowing how much you are willing to kick some ass, I need you to leave this alone.
She didn’t text me back, she wasn’t great at having a phone and honestly I got used to being around her 24/7 so we didn’t need one to communicate. She was supposed to be here for our daily lunch date in an hour—that’s how little time we had to ourselves. I figured out how to make the Clave pay for lunch with my wife too.
Kicking the skateboard next to my new personal assistant’s desk, I felt my hands pulse with the lack of control I had in this situation. The animal inside me wanted to claw its way to my surface and the anxiousness I haven’t been able to kick was egging it on.
“What’s wrong with you? Starburst?” Kennedy, my childhood homie, former girlfriend, and now new assistant, offered me a band aid for my visibly bleeding heart.