by Elena Monroe
I followed her ready to give her my worst if it saved the liquor. “So, you get raped for how long and I can’t drink? Seriously?” I wanted to hate myself for saying it out loud, that brash.
She stopped pouring the way I hoped but instead she simply dropped the bottles into the sink, letting the glass shatter. “You want your precious alcohol? Go ahead and cut your mouth on it.” Crossing her arms, she stared me down, challenging me to chase the bottle.
Trust me; I’ve done some vile things for bottles after my trips to the islands. Cuts? Sounds easy.
“Who’s confirming I was your first? Isn’t that what you’re really mad about? I saw the files, all those disgusting polaroids of girls in slips. They all look like me, why is that?” Leaning into the counter, I swore I could feel heat coming off her.
She thought my first time was robbed too. Technically, it was but not with a woman.
Breaching the vast gap between us, I pinned her back to the countertop, not letting her run away. “Who said I’m mad about one thing, Eve? I’m mad and you’re jealous. It’s that plain. Stop making it complicated.”
I watched her chest pick up pace, taking in shorter quicker breaths and I watched her nipples pinch into small buds. I didn’t want my eyes to get stuck on her body but it did. She’s a walking, talking billboard for sexuality and it was hard not to get caught staring.
My anger was a result of him, not her.
“I’m not jealous,” her voice was hot. Hot enough to melt all the tension between us.
Boxing her in, I leaned into my hands, our chests nearly rubbing, and I could feel her hard nipples graze my chest. “Who are you trying to convince? Yourself?” I paused, watching her cheeks flush and her mouth drop open. “I didn’t fuck any of them. I just saved them because I couldn’t save you. They were going to fall through the cracks in my fingers just like you did—sold to the highest bidder.”
I saved Evey—just too late. I paid for her virginity intact and that became a luxury Elias directly told me I couldn’t afford.
I hadn’t been told a price tag was out of reach—ever. I was an Astor; I could buy the world, everything on it and somehow still be rich at the end of the day.
Her mouth moved but no words came out, she was fighting to fight me. “So you lock them up here and make them fall in love with you because my love wasn’t enough?” The words cut deep enough to flinch, but I stayed so close the pain only inflated against her sharp words.
I enjoyed the pain too much.
Letting my hand squeeze its way between her backside and the counter, I forced her into my chest even more. There was barely any space between us left for my answers to fall into, they seeped right into her instead. “Love? No. They stayed with me for a transition, an adjustment period, pre-made Stockholm syndrome until I could trust the girls I saved to not rat me out. Not being the villain for once in my miserable life—none of that was about love, Eve. I only ever wanted that from you, and I don’t deserve it.”
“Then what are the cages for now? Me? Lock up all the ways you feel.” Her face looked exhausted, and the redness in her eyes made my heart hurt in ways I didn’t foresee.
Still beautiful even when in this much pain.
Letting my head drop to her neck, I whispered the words against her perfect skin. “Locking you in a cage doesn’t change how I feel. How I feel for you isn’t one of the feelings I’m trying to kill.”
I was trying to give her direct answers with no room for interpretation.
If she wanted to do the silent treatment again, we could just get it over with all at once.
Her body stiffened, and I watched her try not to like it when I’m this close. Everything was still too new, shiny, waiting to be explored and this was the trigger warning.
Proximity was always our weakness.
Put miles between us and we survive, but together? It’s something we can’t fight; we fight for it to last longer.
The control washed over her, laminating the parts of her that wanted to give in, the parts of her that were excited under her shirt sans any panties. “I’m still mad. To quote you: Do you think it’s fun for me to chase after your demons because you wanna fill all your wounds with fucking sex?”
“You’re cute when you quote me back.” My lips brushed her neck, and I watched her shudder between me and the countertop.
Finally catching on, I felt her hands push me back and all the alcohol messing with my equilibrium actually made me search for some balance. “This doesn’t fix anything. You can’t fix me with what broke me to begin with!”
Her features were some new combination of angry, turned on, and sad that I wanted to memorize. Commit that to memory for later.
She wanted the truth, it was comfortless. “Nothing fixes us, Eve. Nothing. We just get to live with it and hope nothing opens up our old wounds.” Leaning against the counter, I left the space between us to swell with what I wished someone said to me when it happened, the brutal truth.
“You are my old wound, there’s no closing this.” Her finger swirled between us like I was lumped right in with the trauma. “I’m supposed to count on you. You supposedly saved me, to what only hurt me more when I need you? Do you think I wanted to tell you that you weren’t my first? That I was raped for years when I held so tightly onto everything being yours?”
An overwhelming sense of need to reclaim her, to let her know she was mine despite everything came over me when I took her face into my hands. I felt her try to push me away, and I watched the tears pool in her eyes. “Everything is mine. Nothing changes that, you are mine. I don’t know how to fix you when I couldn’t fix myself.” Tensing against her small hands trying to break free, I forced her to look at me. “I don’t care how damaged or undamaged you are, Evey. I just don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Disappoint me. Ignore me. Hate being my husband. Refuse to admit you love me. All that pain feels better than the truth.” Wrapping my arms around her, I squeezed her to my chest and let her tears soak my shirt the way her pain stained my soul.
Pulling away enough to find her eyes, I realized how much pain was all lumped together, no lines to divide what kind of pain it was or lines to stop it from bleeding into your sane thoughts. “I fucking love you with everything I have, Eve.”
“Then show me, Bowey. I don’t want to fill my wounds with sex, I just want to replace bad memories with you.” She pulled off the shirt between us, and I watched, mesmerized by her small frame. Her small breasts were decorated with tight buds I wanted my mouth around every moment of the day, and her hips seemed to flirt with mine.
I saw Evey’s ugly and all it did was make me love her harder.
“No refunds, baby.” My lips pressed against hers carefully, and I felt her hand smooth down how hard I was over my pants.
My dick jumped at her touch without my permission. That’s normally how it worked now. I always said no and now it had a mind of its own.
Guess that’s what happens when you get fucked by a priest enough—you end up liking the thrill of not seeing it coming.
BOWEN
“You might regret that,” I spoke it against her lips, still nipping the edges of mine making it hard not to lift her up and do exactly what we did in my office not long ago.
Her hands worked the top of my pants when she smiled, stopping her ambush of my mouth. “I regret everything but you.”
My hands slipped down her back to her ass, squeezing it in my hands. “I don’t want to be soft and gentle with you tonight, Evey. You’re stronger than that. You can handle it.”
We just argued it out in the same tone we used to fight in as kids. That was when I was too afraid to get in trouble and she was more than willing to run towards it. Things were different for me now.
Being soft and gentle didn’t seem to fit what just occurred between us.
Her lips found the sensitive part of my neck, sucking at the skin and yanking a lazy moan from me. Every touch, no matter where it was, seemed to go
right to my dick.
Bending down to close in on her even more, I could hear her breath catch as my lips found the shell of her ear. Whispering a quick demand, I waited to see if my Evey wanted to play. “Run.”
Ducking under my arm she started to laugh as she took off.
I wanted to relive the moment I caught up to her when we were kids. The moment I saved her instead of girls who looked like her. We used to play this game all the time, only my dick wasn’t helping me make decisions back then. Rules were simple: count to ten and no hiding.
Chasing after her, I found her on the stairs, lying on her back with her legs trickling down a few stairs below her, completely naked.
The dim lighting made her skin glow and it made me want to swallow her whole until I was satisfied with how much of her was coursing through me.
“Found me, now what will you do to me?” her voice was low and breathy as her hand dragged down her body until it disappeared between her legs.
Tugging my shirt off, I pushed my way between her legs, leaving kisses as I went, my body hovering so close I could feel her arching just to press against me.
“Whatever I want, Evey.”
Closing my teeth around her hard nipple, I bit down enough to make her body shudder against the desire to come—hard enough to draw blood when I tasted the metallic against my tongue.
My tongue circled where my teeth sunk into her and her buds pinched even more. She was handing herself over to me, and I planned to torture her into healing.
Grasping the back of her legs, I pinned them against my hips, letting her pussy land right against how hard I was. She already undid my pants, leaving only the thin material of Versace boxers between us.
“Bowey, I want you inside me.” she was already pleading for more, but she was going to have to wait.
“This isn’t going to be quick. This isn’t going to be soft. This is going to hurt before it feels good, just like us.” Backing away enough to turn her over, I watched her knees dig into the hardwood stairs.
Pushing my crotch up against her, I was chasing the warmth between her legs when I let my hand land against her ass.
It only took a few spankings before her skin turned crimson and her hands bundled into fists. She was breathing heavily and trying to swallow moans that I could still hear even in her silence.
“Please don’t stop. I can handle your ugly, Bowey.” She pushed her ass against my crotch, and I could feel her wet pussy staining the fabric.
She liked being spanked.
I liked opening our wounds carefully until they felt like scar tissue—healed.
Falling over her body, I put my hand around her neck, speaking into her ear, “You need to listen to this, Evey. I never stopped loving you. The whole world could touch you, but I’m the only one with my hand around your heart.”
Turning her face to mine, she kissed me in a way that hurt more than eased the ache between us. Her lips were desperate, creating little love bites where she wanted more that I wouldn’t give her.
My hand dropped from her neck, where my mouth migrated, and my teeth bit into her earlobe before I stood upright. “Put me in your mouth.” Pushing the band down on my boxer briefs, I watched myself fall out while she faced me again.
She stared at my length like it was far too much to put it in her mouth. I knew that from the last time she nearly choked trying to push her lips to my base. I was above average apparently, judging by the look in her eyes.
“You’re not in charge anymore, baby girl.” Putting a hand around myself, I lazily let my fist pump my length inches from her lips.
Eve was always in charge.
Always the one making our decisions.
Always protecting what we had while I took it for granted.
Her hands moved to my thighs as I watched her lips move closer and closer until they wrapped around my tip. My head fell back with a sigh of relief, and my hand dropped from my own cock. “Use your teeth, Evey.”
Her mouth around me slowed, hearing my words but too much trepidation kept her quiet. Instead, she simply pushed her teeth down my length and used her tongue on the way up.
Soothing the bites, the same way I did.
Butterflies filled the pit of my stomach, and my abs tightened when I remembered there was no reserve with her.
There was just how long you lasted.
My hand weaved through her hair, giving her long raven locks a tug to keep her in place, while my hips thrusted, fucking her mouth the way I couldn’t wait to fuck her. Pushing her eyes up to mine, I watched the tears melt from her eyelashes as the smallest moan sang from her lungs, humming around me.
Wound by wound I was replacing memories with us the way she wanted as her solution.
Her fingernails dug into the skin on my thighs, making my teeth clamp down on my lip while her tight mouth hugged every inch. Her mouth dropped from my tip and her hand took its place, jerking me slowly as her lips moved down to the sensitive skin of my thighs until I knew she was marking me with more hickies.
Being marked by Eve was like being blessed.
“Stand up,” I demanded, and without fighting me, she did. I liked being in charge, in control. I just didn’t like how easy she was making it.
She was out of breath when her lips finally let go of me and when she stood up, she was already shaking for more. Standing on a stair above me, I let my hands smooth up her curves, thumbs teasing her breasts the way I knew sent chills down her spine.
“Why are you listening to me? You never listen to me.”
Turning away from me, she forced me to watch her walk up the stairs and sit on the hallway table no one ever used. I barely recognized its existence until she put her bare ass on it.
Now it would be one of my favorite pieces of furniture.
Opening her legs, my eyes dropped down to how wet she was with each step I took. “Does that make it easier for you? If I don’t listen, then I deserve the spankings more?”
Pushing between her legs, my hands gripped her thighs, and my mouth found hers in a hungry kiss with clashing teeth and messy tongues while I tasted the inside of her mouth. I decided in that second that her listening was better than her wits.
“There are no rules when you open old wounds.” Dragging my tongue along her lips, I felt her arms lace around my neck, trembling against me, and her legs desperate for me to bruise in different ways. “Hit me, Evey.”
She looked at me like the idea was the saddest thing I had ever said, and it kind of matched how it felt leaving my lips. I wanted to be in control, lose control, and have the pain equalized—however that works.
“No, Bowey, that’s not how we’re filling our wounds.” Her eyes were clear blue, almost too clear, when she pulled away enough to make sure I knew she didn’t give consent.
My fingers dug into her hips, yanking her down the table, my tip already nudging between her legs. She was wet but not enough to make her feel less tight when I pushed myself inch by inch inside her. “You don’t want me to be cruel, Evey, just hit me.”
Kissing her open mouth while she adjusted to me was enough to make me come undone, but I was waiting for her to meet my demands. Until then, she would have to enjoy me not moving.
I felt her hand move to tighten around my throat as she tried to hurt me back, giving in after she realized it meant I would withhold.
“Harder. He took what’s mine, Evey, aren’t you angry?” It was painful to be inside her and not take advantage. “Don’t you want this?”
Her grip tightened even more, and I could feel the way my lungs jumped into a panic. I wanted her to hurt me, replace my pain with something new, something better. “No. I can’t... I can’t,” she whimpered the words, and I pushed against her grasp until my lips found hers. Her hand was still against my throat with my dick buried deep inside her—whatever brand of fucked up we are was a sight for sore eyes.
“You said it, baby girl. We always match, and right now I don’t match you. Leave your mark on
me. I need you to.”
Pulling away enough for her to hurt me, I braced myself while my hands yanked her back down my length making her whimper. She was hugging me tighter, and I could tell she was close to coming just from the torture.
I didn’t expect it, even though I asked for it, when her palm slapped across my face with so much force it stole my breath. My face twisted to the right, absorbing it and letting it be what I needed it to be.
Her hand shook in the air like it had betrayed her. Grabbing her palm, I held it to my lips, covering her hand in kisses as I thrusted deeper inside her, sending her into another almost orgasm before I truly did anything.
Every thrust, the table collided with the wall, leaving a mark on the white paint like they were trying to match us. Tonguing my lip, I tasted metal, and realized she drew blood too.
Not expecting her tongue to swipe against the wound, she slowly licked my blood away with a devilish smirk that showed exactly where her halo was now… dead and gone.
Picking her up, she wrapped her arms and legs around me. Walking forward, I tried to make it to my bedroom, but it was too far away, so I settled for the floor. Sitting on the cold floor against the wall, I took her with me, and she straddled my lap as I palmed her perky breasts.
“I’m so sorry,” she mumbled around an inhale as she cupped my cheek, placing a soft kiss on my wound.
Taking her face in mine, I needed more of her lips and the sting that came with them. I kept my knees bent, holding her in place as I kissed her. “We both drew blood, baby. We always do.” Grasping her ass, I helped her hips to roll on top of me and she collapsed against my chest. I knew she was just as close to her orgasm as I was to losing control, and I could hear it with every strangled moan.
“I’m so close.” I don’t know why I warned her. I didn’t even know if it was normal. All I knew was that we were married and having kids was part of the deal, so condoms weren’t a concern.