by Rebecca Sky
If he isn’t a cop, what is he? And how can he read my mind?
‘Are you with the Committee?’
‘Do I look like a priest?’
I shake my head and cast my eyes down. The good news is, if he isn’t a cop or with the Committee, I’m probably safe.
‘You are safe,’ he replies, once again answering an unasked question.
‘Please stop doing that.’
‘I forget how creepy it must be.’
There’s something about him. I run through my memories, certain there’s somewhere else I can place his face. The precinct wasn’t my first time seeing him.
‘Who are you?’ I finally ask.
‘You’ve given up guessing?’ He smiles, amused, and runs a hand through his curls. ‘I suppose you could say I’m your great, great, great – add some more greats – grandfather.’
My legs give out and I find myself sitting on the damp ground. The picture in St Valentine’s, that’s where …
‘Eros?’
Eros offers me his hand. It’s then I see a dark purple cloak and his golden bow, with its white-gold amethyst handle, leaning against a statue by his feet.
‘I’ve got it,’ I say, pushing myself up from the ground, trying desperately to hide the shake of my arms as I stand teetering before a god.
He drops his hand. ‘My given name is Eros, but you can call me Grampa if you prefer.’
‘I … I … you …’
‘Not exactly the warm welcome I was expecting after you spammed my inbox and screamed for help baring sticks like some mad cave woman,’ he says, with a grin.
‘Surrender2Love? I can’t believe that was you.’ And I can’t believe he expected a warm welcome from me. I’ve spent most of my life imagining what I’d say if we ever met, and none of it is warm.
‘Ouch,’ he says.
My hand shoots to my mouth. This whole mind-reading thing takes some getting used to.
His fingers find my chin, and the moment he touches me my gift ceases. No buzz, no tremble: it’s gone. I take a deep breath, relishing how it feels. I never realized how much I sensed my gift, even when inactive, until now. The last time I felt like this I was twelve, when I didn’t even know Hedonesses were a thing let alone that my own mother was one. He tilts my chin so I have nowhere to look but those bright blue eyes. ‘Don’t think I don’t understand. I once loved someone I couldn’t be with.’ He releases me and the electricity returns like a smack.
I pull back from him. Feeling like a jerk for my thoughts. I shouldn’t have been so harsh. It’s not like he knew he was going to ruin my life when he put the arrow in Psyche. He was trying to save the woman he loved.
‘I’m sorry, I …’
‘Hush now. If I could’ve seen what my actions would do to future generations, I would’ve found another way. But as you know, love can be crippling and delusional.’
‘Delusional?’
‘You intend to offer your freedom for the exchange of your friends and family, do you not?’
My eyes widened and I lick my dry lips. How much does he know?
‘More than I’d like.’ He smiles again. ‘You’re planning to break into the police station and confess to their crimes.’ A sly grin spreads across his face as he leans against a statue. ‘May I suggest doing something to make them think you’re violent? The bigger the threat, the more attention you’ll get. A confession alone isn’t really that impressive. They’ll want a demonstration.’
A threat? Demonstration? Like turning someone?
‘Yes,’ he says. ‘Though kissing a man isn’t really that impressive.’
I’d never thought of that. He’s right. I need to do something bigger, something fierce. But turning someone? I couldn’t. It would be breaking everything I stand for. What would Joan of Arc do? My mind flicks to the billboard of My Vampire Alien Life we passed yesterday – a man with his fangs deep in some girl’s neck.
‘Don’t get me started on Joan. What a mess that whole thing was. The Committee got to her before I could. They’re always hunting down my prospects. I was sure she’d be the one …’ He brushes a blond curl from his face and smiles.
‘The one?’
‘That’s not important. What’s important is your idea. It’s smart, really. Playing into the whole vampire epidemic. People are so inundated with them these days they actually believe they’re real.’ He looks deep into my eyes, a firmness taking over his features. ‘Though, we both know you don’t need to kiss or bite someone to turn them.’
I suck in a breath. ‘I can—’
‘—touch,’ he finishes. ‘You’re quite remarkable, you know? Yours is the only bloodline—’
‘I don’t think stealing a man’s will with my touch is remarkable.’ I’m shocked at how open I’m being to a god. A real, living god. ‘I mean, I …’
‘I appreciate your honesty. It’s been far too long since a Hedoness has had your disposition. It was never the intention of the arrow to be manipulated for one person’s will alone. The purpose has always been to bring two people together in love. Unfortunately, human nature has corrupted the arrow’s gift. And the Committee’s school system doesn’t help.’
‘Human nature?’ I ask, leaning forward.
‘More precisely, selfishness. But for some reason, you, love, do not possess that particular quality.’
‘Oh yes I do.’ I practically snort. What about all the times I wanted to steal Ben’s attention from Marissa, or when I purposely fought Ma to get my dad to notice me?
‘You mistake your own actions,’ says Eros.
I lift my eyes in question, waiting for him to explain.
‘Those acts were not done out of selfishness. Your love for your father makes you fight for any injustices you see befall him. It’s not selfish to desire what’s best for people, if you are what’s best for them.’
‘Me? Best?’ I whisper the last part, casting my eyes back to the ground. It can’t be true. This is that damn hope again. False hope. As long as I’m a Hedoness, Dad will never love anyone but Ma. And I can never be with Ben.
‘You’re wrong – there’s always hope.’
‘How?’ I ask, squaring my shoulders and lifting my chin to challenge him.
His eyes tear through me like he’s trying to decide if I have what it takes.
‘The curse will be reversed one day. I promise you.’
‘Reversed …’ Blood rushes to my head, and my eyes take in too much light, making spots swim in my vision. So Ma was wrong. There is a way to undo the Hedoness curse. I can barely breathe. I force myself to suck back mouthfuls of air. My lips tingle with desire to turn the kiss of my dreams into a reality.
‘You’re a god,’ I say. ‘If it can be undone, why haven’t you done it already?’
His smile becomes a thin line. ‘I do not have the power to do such things.’
‘Then who does?’
‘Now that is a good question.’
‘Well, who?’
He grins. ‘You do, my dear. Any Hedoness, really, if the circumstances are right.’
‘Circumstances?’ I cling to the statue next to me, hoping whatever it is, it’s something I can do.
‘We’ll get to that later.’
‘If I can help reverse it, I will.’
‘I was hoping you’d say that, I could use your help. But that would require you alive, and not arrested. You know what? I have a better plan. Leave Ben here. It’s safe. Come with me, and I’ll protect you from the Committee.’ He spins on his heels and starts walking, waving for me to follow. I cross my arms and hold my ground. After a couple of strides he stops and turns back.
‘Let me guess,’ he says. ‘Your family?’
‘Yes, my family. I’m helping them before I do anything for you. Even if that thing is breaking the curse.’ Which is the one thing I’ve wanted since I found out what I was.
‘Very well,’ he says. ‘Then tell me, how will you plan your getaway? You know, after you free your fami
ly?’ He takes a few steps closer and stops.
I cross my arms tighter. I never thought about getting away – I just resigned myself to being arrested.
‘And if you confess with no demonstration, they’ll order you a psych evaluation.’
‘Fine, I’ll turn someone. If the curse is reversed it won’t matter.’ As I say it, I regret it. I never want to turn anyone. Ever.
Eros leans in. ‘It seems you haven’t thought this all the way through. Have you considered what you will do if they shoot you? Like it or not, you’ll have to attack one of their officers to drive home the stakes.’
Right. I hadn’t thought of that, either. My arms drop. I’m not sure how I’ll pull it all off.
Eros leans against the adjacent statue, ankles crossed, a big grin on his face.
‘Help me,’ I plead.
‘Help you?’
I lift my chin, trying to appear brave. ‘If you want my help to break the curse, then help me free my family.’
‘Are we negotiating now?’
‘Yes,’ I say firmly. ‘You’re a god, you must have some magic that can keep me from being shot.’
‘I see,’ he says.
‘Well, do you have something?’
‘My power won’t help with such things. What you need is spare magic.’
‘Spare magic?’
‘You know arrows, potions, spells, that sort of thing.’
‘Do you have any?’
‘Rachel,’ he sighs, ‘it’s all very complicated. It’s been a long time since I was allowed in Olympus, so what little I have left I will not be able to replace without going back, and I cannot go back. Not until the curse is broken.’
‘I can help you do that once I’m done saving my family and then you can replace whatever you need.’
‘You can. However, even if I can help you to not get shot, what’s keeping the police from discovering they don’t have a body?’
‘I’ll get a fake body.’ As soon as I say it I regret how foolish it sounds, though we are standing in a field of lifelike statues, so I’m sure it’s possible to fake a body, somehow.
‘Let me get this straight – I help you fake your death and all that entails, and you will help me break the curse?’
‘Yes.’
‘How can we guarantee you will be shot?’ Eros says. ‘This plan is based on speculation. They may arrest you, and then you’re stuck behind bars and of no use to me.’
‘Well, then you shoot me. You’ve faked being a cop before.’
Eros frowns. ‘I’d like to help, really. But we’re not supposed to intervene with humans and your plan requires a lot of intervention.’
I want to yell, to tell him he’s kinda late to be obeying that rule, having pierced Psyche with his arrow and created Hedonesses and all. But I don’t. What’s the point – he can read my mind anyway. ‘I guess Ma was wrong about you,’ I say instead. ‘You don’t care about me, or your descendants. All you care about is yourself.’
His face has a weird expression that makes me think he’s fighting back a smile. After a long pause, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small glass vial that looks like it’s filled with liquefied rubies. He turns over my hand and places it in my gloved palm, the red disappearing into the leather. ‘I don’t have long. As you know I’m not supposed to be here. Interfering,’ he says with air quotes. ‘But I like your spunk, love. You remind me of my mother. Well, the good parts of her. This will assist you if you are willing to pay the price.’
Of course there’s a price. There’s always a price. I pick up the vial, rotating it in my hands. The shiny red colour sparkles in the sun. How could this help me?
‘It will make sure a bullet won’t penetrate,’ he replies. ‘Any weapon, really.’
I frown, holding the vial to a beam of light. ‘What’s the price?’
‘We were always supposed to meet, you know?’ he says instead of answering my question. Still, I’m curious enough to let it slide.
‘We were?’
He smiles. ‘I’ve left you some signs, I’ve been guiding you to me.’
All the arrows.
He smiles. ‘You see, I’ve tried for hundreds of years to undo the arrow’s curse. There were other Hedonesses who had your potential. They were thwarted one way or another by the damn Committee.’
‘The Committee,’ I gasp, wondering about my classmates overseas. ‘Wait, my potential?’
He smiles. ‘They’ve been trying to stop me, and maintain control of you Hedonesses. Without your power, their infrastructure crumbles. They lose everything they’ve built. But unless the arrow’s magic is reversed, I can’t return to Olympus. It’s a conundrum. So you see, I’ve waited a long time for you.’
‘Waited for me? Why?’
His blue eyes lock on mine, looking deep into my soul. ‘You have the circumstances needed to reverse the Hedoness curse.’
I nearly drop the vial, managing to trap it between my hand and stomach. I stare at him, opening and closing my mouth, trying to figure out how an inexperienced, ungrateful Hedoness can undo hundreds of years of the gift. There’s a big difference between helping him, and having what’s needed. I don’t know how much time passes before I can form a normal word. ‘M-me? How?’
‘First, according to our deal,’ he adds dramatically, ‘you must perfect your plan to free your family, then I will find you and we will reverse the curse. It is very important no one knows about this. They must believe you are dead.’ His eyes lock on mine and he lets that word hang in the air – dead. ‘No one must know we will attempt to break the curse. Do you understand?’
‘That’s a lot of pressure,’ I say, more to myself than him.
‘Rachel, we cannot risk the Committee discovering us.’ He reaches over and closes my fingers around the bottle. ‘Be careful with that, it’s my only one.’
I slip the vial into my sock. ‘How do I use it?’
‘Drink it at the time you need its help. But,’ his voice turns low and cautious and he exhales loudly, ‘the cost is high.’
My smile slips and I look at him. ‘What if I don’t like it?’
‘You’re the one that asked for my help.’
I fight the urge to roll my eyes. ‘What is it?’
‘The serum requires you to sacrifice your beloved. You will forget Ben and he will forget you.’
‘No,’ I gasp out. I can’t breathe, my heart throbs, I feel like I’m going to puke. I lean my head on the stone statue and think over Eros’s offer. Even with the Hedoness power reversed, I still can’t be with Ben.
‘There’s got to be another way.’
‘Not as far as I can foresee. You must fake your death, which requires the vial. We can’t break the curse with you in jail.’
‘But I can say goodbye, right?’
‘I’m sorry, Rachel. He can’t know. It will influence the magic and telling anyone puts us in risk of the Committee finding out our plan.’
‘I’m supposed to just lie to him, make him think everything is OK?’
‘Nothing about this is OK.’
I brave looking into his eyes – they’re nearly the same colour as Ben’s – and I know he’s right. Letting Ben go gives him the chance to follow his dream, and freeing my family and reversing the curse is more important than my heart. But the cost of that is Ben. It hurts to even think of it.
‘Your family’s lives will be far better without the Hedoness power,’ he says softly, but he might as well have ripped my heart out and bitten into it.
How can I deny my family that? All the Hedoness families. This is much bigger than me.
‘OK,’ I whisper. The words poison my lips, but I say them anyway, because I need to hear them. ‘No more Ben.’
Eros puts his hand on my shoulder, and even with his touch easing my powers, I still feel sick. ‘I know it doesn’t seem like it now,’ he says, ‘but one day you will thank me for all this.’
‘I doubt it.’
‘Whenever
it hurts, remember that your sacrifice will mean countless other girls can be with the people they love.’
I force a smile. Deep inside, knowing that all the girls from school, and the ones I don’t know, even my parents, will have a shot at love – it does make me feel a bit better. It’s just me who has to sacrifice, and I’m already used to that. Still, the desire to cry is overwhelming.
Eros puts his hand on my head and my sadness leaves. All that fills me is overwhelming love. It’s the same as when my ma hugs me, or those brief moments my dad smiles for something other than Ma, or when Nani tells me she’s proud of me for something other than being a Hedoness. It’s every goodness, every joy, every warmth, all in one. Instead of dwelling on what I’m about to lose, I’m filled with what I will gain.
‘That should help you cope for a while,’ he says, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a bank card. ‘Here, take it.’
I grab the card, flipping it over. ‘Olympus Gold Card? Really?’ It’s too cheesy to be real.
‘Zeus’s sense of humour.’ He rolls his eyes. ‘A while back he got those made for us. Don’t lose it – it has no purchase limit.’
I flick the corner against my other glove. Marissa would love getting her hands on this. I can only imagine the damage she’d do on a shopping spree.
‘I should leave now. You’ll see me next in police uniform with a fake gun aimed at you,’ Eros says as he pushes off the statue. ‘Rachel, valedico.’
‘Huh?’
‘I bid you farewell.’ He smiles, extending his arm in salute. ‘And don’t forget, you’ll need a body.’
‘Where will I get that?’ I think aloud.
‘You’ll find a way,’ he says, nodding with encouragement.
I glance down at the Olympus Gold Card, thinking about his warning. When I look back up, he’s gone.
The sun crests over the trees, the newfound warmth keeping most of the cold away. I bite the inside of my cheek, flipping the card over in my hands, thinking about the conversation with Eros. I still can’t believe he feels the same way about the Hedoness powers.