by Gini Koch
But Jude wasn’t who I was here to see. The Three A’s and Jack weren’t either. I took a deep breath and we sauntered over. “Yo, boys, how goes it in Evil Land?” I asked as we walked past them.
“You dare,” Abaddon hissed.
“Yeah, I do. Because, when it comes down to it, it’s me against the Prince.” The glow from the chasm got brighter. I grinned. “Or, in this case, it’s me against the Morning Star.”
On cue, he rose up, like he was on a rotating platform, though I knew he wasn’t standing on anything but air. The light radiated from him like he truly was a star fallen to Earth. Then he faced me and I saw Lucifer for the first time.
Unlike the other fallen angels, Lucifer was still beautiful to look at. I wondered how he both maintained that and wasn’t an object of massive suspicion because of it in the Depths. He was, I had to admit, the most beautiful angel I’d ever seen.
He nodded to me. “Victoria.” Nice voice. Seductive.
“Lucifer. Nice of you to join the party.”
“My presence was…required.” His eyes narrowed as he looked at the Three A’s.
“Yeah, well, I’d like to suggest you take your flunkies and go back to the Depths. We’ve dusted Hitler and his cronies, so you’re down a few, but you’re a go-getter, and I know you’ll find more. Just not here, and not now.”
“That is not in our plan, Victoria, I’m sorry.”
“Pity. It’s in mine. Oh, want to hear the rest of my plan?”
“She’s willing to tell the beings representing ultimate evil but not her partners?” Benny whispered to Ralph.
“Vic has her own style,” Ralph replied in kind. “It’s the kind of style that gives you ulcers, but it’s a style, nonetheless.”
The Three A’s, Jack and my darling mother flanked Lucifer. They were all glaring at me. Lucifer wasn’t. He was looking at me like I was an interesting creature, so far below him that concern wasn’t an issue. He inclined his head. “Please.”
“We’re going to send you all back to the Depths of Hell, without any destruction of the planes of existence, without Armageddon…and without me.”
He smiled. “We’ll see.”
The Adversary and Jack both moved towards me, in lock step, which was beyond nauseatingly freaky. But Lucifer put his hand up. “You’ve already failed me.”
“Minor setback,” Jack snarled.
“Utter failure,” Lucifer replied. “I note who she’s standing with. Let me emphasize the word ‘with’.”
Abaddon aimed his Hellfire bow at Ralph. “Not for long.”
Lucifer sighed, reached out, and wrenched the bow from Abaddon’s hands. “You and your partner have also failed.” He looked around at the others. “In fact, I see nothing but failure as I look at all of you. A perfect plan, approved by the Prince himself, and yet you all managed to destroy it.” He looked back to me. “I’m sure you’re as disappointed in them as I am.”
“Totally.” I had no idea where Lucifer was going with this. For all I knew, he’d snapped and was on the other side of crazy. But playing along until an opening presented itself was something I’d learned to do a long time ago. “So, since the plan’s all wrecked, why don’t you all trundle along to plot another, better takeover bid, and we call it a night?”
“No, it cannot be that easy. You destroyed our warlock.”
“You left him there as punishment and you know it.”
Lucifer smiled slowly. “True. He assured us all was in readiness, that nothing had been left to chance.” He pointed to Jack. “That you would do whatever he asked.” Lucifer shrugged. “Clearly Hitler was wrong. He and his direct reports have failed the Prince constantly over the years. They will be no loss to his Great Army.”
“You’re not raising the Army of the Damned tonight, or any other night.”
“What will you offer me in return if we do not?”
This was a good question. Pity I didn’t have a good answer.
Chapter 71
I knew Lucifer had a plan, and that he expected me to figure out what it was so I could conveniently foil it and he could retreat with the rest of the minions. This whole thing had been his plan, after all. Set in motion centuries before, effective and terrifying, yet created to fail without blame resting on Lucifer himself.
I was pretty sure the Prince wasn’t going to be appeased with the loss of the Three A’s or Lucifer. I was willing to dust them -- well, the Three A’s, Jack and my mother. My concern about what I’d do when face-to-face with Lucifer was coming true -- I didn’t want to destroy him, I just wanted him to leave and take all the creeps with him.
“We want what he holds,” the Adversary said, pointing to Benny.
“No can do, Pops, sorry.”
“You will refer to me as Father.”
“I’ll refer to you as dust. I don’t respect you and never will.” I remembered what was in my hand. I looked at the Adversary and Jack. They were moving in unison, but they weren’t joined. “It backfired.”
“What?” Lucifer asked pleasantly.
“The plan to have me turn Jack into a werewolf.” I thought about it. “Because of me. Because I won’t join the Prince.”
Jack snorted. “Why would you matter that much?”
“Oh, please. This from the guy created to be my own personal will-o’-the-wisp to lure me to the Depths of Hell? Clearly I’m important.” I held up the totem of Adlet. “And I think this is why.”
Apollyon made a sound of disgust. “That is your destruction, not ours.”
“Not you and your partner’s, no. But I think it’s causing some problems for the Adversary. Werewolves are your weakness, aren’t they, Daddy-o?”
“Hardly.” The Adversary changed to resemble Big Harp. “You have no understanding, no vision.”
“I also don’t have a part of me infected with something deadly to me.” I looked at Jack. “You’re going to be destroyed. Not by me, but by your own, well, being. Because it can’t join you in any more, but still feels the effects of your…infection.”
“That’s not true. Vic, you love being dramatic. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m stronger, faster, better.”
“Yeah, uh huh. Show me how you walk as a wolf.”
He growled. It was good, but it wasn’t as good as his had been before. “Drop and do me, bitch.”
Ralph growled, and his truly was frightening. I put my hand on him and did the low talking with no lips moving thing. “Down, boy. Sit, stay. You jump, you engage right now, they win.”
Jack smirked. “We win anyway.” So he had the werewolf hearing. Pity, but not the end of the world. I hoped.
“I don’t think so.” I shifted to wolf form. It was hard, but I could keep a hold of the statue in my paw. “Feel free to destroy this now.”
My mother hissed. “You evil, wanton girl!”
“Oh, don’t start with me.” I looked to Lucifer. “See, here’s the thing. I think that, if I attack them now, holding this, they die. I think if I don’t attack them and they just go back into the Depths, they die. And I don’t think the Prince wants to lose this particular Adversary, does he?”
Lucifer inclined his head. “This Adversary is particularly…effective, yes.”
“Yeah. So, while we’re all here, first lines of defense all ready to go, let me point out a couple of things.”
“Please do.”
“First off, we have you surrounded. I know, I know, you’re the all-powerful baddies and such. But we have a lot of soldiers, undead and human. Sure, some of them might turn, but not most. And some of them will die or dust, but not all of them, and you’ll lose minions for sure, after having lost plenty already. Plus we have more firepower than you might be aware of.” I sincerely hoped.
“Perhaps.” Lucifer smiled. “Any other points?”
“Yep. We have all the people who Hitler conned into doing that nifty prayer that wasn’t really a prayer back on our side. But, they were so effective, we have them praying for us.
”
“Really? What are they praying for?”
“You’ll find out.” I sincerely hoped. “Last point. I have this beyond-butt-ugly statue thing of Adlet and I’m not afraid to use it. If the rumors are true, it’s not going to create any issues for me in the short term and who knows about the long term?”
“It will destroy your race,” Lucifer said calmly.
“Worse than you all, the Adversary in particular, are already trying to?”
Lucifer shrugged. “Good point. But still…to be the destroyer of your race. Are you willing to bear that burden?”
I looked straight at him, right in his eyes. “If that’s what it takes to keep the Prince in the Depths and the planes of existence as they should be, then by all the Gods and Monsters -- yes.”
Lucifer nodded slowly. “Then…do what you must. What you feel is right.”
Jude said I always knew what to do in these situations. But I had no idea. The base of my tail wanted a word, however, and the word was “Susan”. I broke eye contact with Lucifer and looked around. “Jack, where’s your girlfriend?”
He grinned. “She was a lot more adaptable than you.”
“You bit her?”
“Of course.” He nodded towards my mother. “And joined her in. We like it better that way.”
I looked and sure enough my mother shifted and there was a blonde chick who looked vaguely familiar standing there, smirking and looking like she’d won the Baby Daddy fight. She also, I realized without a lot of shock, resembled my mother. And they were both named Susan. How sweet. I managed to hold off on the gagging, but it was hard.
However, this brought up an interesting point. My mother had never, as far as I’d known, shared her soul. Which meant either she’d changed her mind now, always a possibility, or she and Susan were somehow sharing a body. This was also possible. Good undeads almost never tried this. It had been done, but only in the most extreme of emergencies, and you’d really better like the being you were sharing with, because if you co-joined too long, it was permanent. It was a safe bet Susan and my mother had been co-joined long enough for this to last for eternity. Or until I dusted them.
“So, you’re infected, and you infected your host, your mate, and your host’s mate. Wow, nice job, Jack.” It was. I wasn’t something the Jack Wagner I’d fallen in love with would have done, but it was clear I’d fallen in love with either the little part of him that was still good or I’d been fooled by the best. The base of my tail was betting on the latter.
But it also brought up an interesting situation. The Adversary was clearly having issues with the werewolf parts. And two beings sharing one body, and then sometimes wanting to be a werewolf, too, was more strain than I figured either my mother’s mind or Susan’s were prepared for.
So, if I left them alone and did nothing, they’d self-destruct over time. However, I was learning how Lucifer thought, and there was no way he would have planned that in as a possibility -- it wouldn’t fly with the Prince and Lucifer had to make sure whatever he did had all the signs of working. I needed to figure out what my undercover counterpart expected me to do and actually do it. And fast.
I looked at the totem of Adlet in my hand. It was still hideous, but it looked different. I got the distinct feeling Adlet was not only truly trapped within it but also completely aware. So, what we were calling a statue or totem or whatever was really something else -- a cage.
Before I could do anything meaningful, I heard chanting. The humans were all repeating the prayer I’d given Johnson, police included. But there was sound from the other side of the street, where our forces were waiting. I strained.
“Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn, and caldron bubble.” They were repeating it, over and over, just like the beings praying were. Clearly the Bard had taken charge.
I looked down. The convergence chasm was acting funny, and considering it was already off the scales in terms of normalcy, this was worth noting. It looked, I had to admit, like it was bubbling.
“Your team’s into cheerleading,” Jack said. “Not going to help.”
I looked back and forth between him and my so-called parents. “Double, double. You’ve doubled yourselves up. Been a lot of toil and trouble. The fire burns below as the cauldron bubbles.” Benny was right -- there were a lot more beings casting spells than I’d realized. Anyone could do it. Even me.
I shifted back to human form. “Vic, what are you doing?” Ralph sounded worried. I figured my next move wouldn’t reassure.
I threw the statue of Adlet right towards Jack’s head.
Chapter 72
The natural human and demon reaction when a projectile is heading towards them is to duck or catch it. Since most undeads had been human or demon, that instinct remained.
The natural werewolf reaction is to catch it in your mouth.
Experienced werewolves either ducked or turned into a form that could catch. But Jack wasn’t experienced.
He also wasn’t very good at reacting now. If we hadn’t been in the Ultimate Undead Standoff, it would have been pretty comical to watch his body fight with itself. And because he didn’t know whether he had hands or paws, he caught it in his mouth.
“Good boy!”
Jack managed to turn into human form and spat Adlet’s totem into his hands. “How stupid are you?”
“I’m wondering that myself,” I heard Benny mutter behind me.
“Adlet, got a deal for you!”
“He’s dead,” Jack said, derision clear.
“Adlet, there are four werewolves who just don’t know what to do with themselves. They’re all connected to the one who bit you -- and they’re also all connected to the being who caged you, Black Wolf. I wonder -- if you drew their powers, could you break free of your bonds?”
“Vic, seriously, what are you doing?” Ralph hissed.
What I was doing now was praying. To Yahweh, to Usen, to all the Gods and Monsters. Because I could see Adlet’s totem -- and it was moving on its own.
The totem wrenched out of Jack’s hand and floated in the air, high above Jack’s head. “Destroy it!” Lucifer thundered.
It was small, and the minions were quite large, but I’d judged Adlet right -- he wanted the chance to get out of his cage.
There was another positive, of course. All the minions, major and minor, were now trying to catch or hit a small object that was, as near as I could tell, having fun being close to impossible to hit or catch.
I focused all my mental energy on one thought. Surely at least one of our angels was monitoring me, right? Jude, at least, should be. I also said it aloud, in that no-lips-moving undertone way, to save time. “Attack all but Lucifer now. Leave him to me.”
Ralph lunged silently at Jack. I didn’t think she heard me, but Sexy Cindy followed Ralph’s lead and took the chick combo of my mother and Susan. Freddy, showing real guts or real insanity, or both, joined the fray and slammed into the Adversary. Abaddon and Apollyon looked like they were going to get a free ride, but then Dirt Corps arrived, Monty in the lead. They swarmed over the Three A’s.
That was the frontal attack. The rear attack was everybody else.
Adlet was still bounding around in his cage, making things confusing and hard for the minions. Lucifer had given them a direct command, and that meant it was their prime objective. To make sure Lucifer couldn’t give them another, smarter objective, I turned to werewolf form and jumped him.
I knocked him down -- a feint on his part I was sure, because he felt strong, stronger than the Adversary. We rolled around on the ground, but I didn’t bite. We were in a rather intimate position when he reared up and locked eyes with mine. Make it real. Try to kill me. I must try to kill you. Or we both die, and everything else with us. He’d said it in my head, in a way I was pretty sure no other angel could have heard.
I reminded myself that, in the grand scheme of things, Lucifer was technically my superior officer. So, I chose to follow two centuries of training
and do what the boss-man said. I lunged up and bit his throat. Hard.
As we flailed around, this time, fighting much harder and more realistically, I did get a glimpse of the rest of the activity. Mostly because Lucifer kicked me off him and it’s easy to take in the scene when you’re airborne.
Ralph and Jack were still going at it, though it looked like Ralph had the upper paw. I hoped this meant Adlet was taking my suggestion and draining the werewolf out of Jack. Sexy Cindy was beating the crap out of my mother, then Susan, then my mother. They kept changing on her, but they didn’t seem clear on the fact that no regular white chick has a prayer against a really pissed off street hooker.
Hansel finished off a fallen angel and leaped onto Jack to give Ralph an assist. Gretel did the same and joined Sexy Cindy. Ken, Amanda and Maurice focused on the Adversary. The three of them were in full Nosferatu mode, and doing some damage. I really hoped this meant Adlet was doing the draining thing on not just Jack but the rest of my “extended family”.
There was a risk Adlet would try to drain me, too. But, as with any other choice, if it saved all the planes of existence, I’d find a way to deal with it later. I was the only other being at risk, though -- Black Wolf’s were-line had been wiped out with the exception of me. And if it was going to go on, I didn’t want that to happen through the Prince’s minions.
I landed back on Lucifer -- because he conveniently rolled in the way so I hit him, not street -- and had to turn my attention back to survival. He hadn’t been joking -- he was fighting for real. I got onto his back and tried to shred his wings.
The chanting was still going on -- the humans weren’t getting into the physical fighting, other than some of the cops, and clearly some of our troops were spending their time keeping the Bard’s spell going.
A shriek worthy of any banshee cut through the air. But it had come from my mother. She dropped to the ground, moaning and rolling. I noted that the totem of Adlet was bigger. Not by a lot, but enough to notice.