by Susan Stoker
The man next to her shifted a bit and laid his head back on the head rest and closed his eyes.
Caroline fought with her conscience. She hated the middle seat. She really did, but there was no way this man would last the entire four hour flight squished in between her and the other man the way he was. With his knees hitting the chair in front of him, he looked scrunched. His muscular body sure didn’t leave any extra room in the small cramped airline seat. He looked miserable. Caroline sighed, knowing what she had to do.
* * *
Wolf sat uncomfortably in the airplane seat. Outwardly he looked relaxed, but he was anything but. With eyes closed, Wolf processed the sounds around him. The passengers walking past his row to their seats, the sounds of the overhead bins filling up, the rustle of the newspaper from the man to his right, and the quiet sigh of the woman sitting to his left.
Flying commercial from San Diego to the base in Norfolk, Wolf, Mozart, and Abe were technically off duty at the moment, and were flying in civilian clothes. They’d booked this flight last minute, thus leaving him the middle seat and the others spread out in the plane. Wolf wanted to hop on a MAC flight, the free flight service offered by the military to members and spouses, but he knew there was no guarantee they’d get a space on the flight and the three of them wanted to get to Virginia to see Tex sooner rather than later. They talked to Tex all the time since he helped them get information when they needed it, but talking to him in an official capacity was way different than being able to sit down around a table, drink a beer, and talk about anything other than work.
Wolf, Abe, and Mozart were supposed to be on leave before their next mission started. They were leaving from Norfolk in two weeks, and the thought of being able to shut down and actually enjoy being around friends was a welcome one. They all spent way too much time hyped up and in danger. Spending two weeks before they had to risk their lives on another mission was just too tempting to turn down.
None of them had a lot of time off recently and Wolf, Abe, and Mozart were happy to get to pretend to be normal for a few weeks before they had to leave again. Wolf had been a SEAL for ten years, working with Mozart and Abe for the last eight. They hadn’t been in BUD/S together, but that didn’t matter. Bonded over firefights, scuba dives, and life threatening situations, they’d each saved each other’s lives a few times and their connection was tighter than most siblings.
Wolf would’ve preferred to sit in the same row with his friends, but because they’d made their flight arrangements so late, they didn’t have a choice and had to take seats that were available. Mozart offered to flirt with the airline employee in the hopes they’d be able to get upgraded, or at least be seated together, but they’d agreed to suck it up and sit where they were assigned. They all knew they wouldn’t fit in the seats if they all sat in the same row anyway. Their shoulders were just too broad to fit comfortably side-by-side in a crunched airline row. Wolf knew his friends felt the same way he did—they didn’t flaunt their SEAL status to receive preferential treatment. It was bad enough women hit on them back home in San Diego in the bars just because they were SEALs.
Wolf hated to admit it, but he’d gotten bored with the bar scene. He was picky in the first place, and he’d found too many women just wanted to sleep with a SEAL, it didn’t matter who the SEAL was, just that they could brag later to their friends they’d done it with a legendary SEAL. The sadder part was that too many SEALs took advantage of it. Wolf could admit to himself that once upon a time he’d done that exact thing, but time and experience had shown him the encounters left him feeling dissatisfied and used. If someone had asked him right after he’d graduated from BUD/S if he’d ever feel used by a woman who wanted to sleep with him, he would’ve laughed himself silly.
Wolf knew what love looked like. His parents had been together for almost forty years. They were still as madly in love now as they were when they got married. It used to embarrass him, but lately it made him feel wistful. They’d still go on dates and hold hands wherever they went. His dad surprised his mom with romantic gifts and, every now and then, a special trip. Wolf wanted what his parents had. He wanted someone he could be himself with. He wanted someone to need him. He wanted to need someone. Wolf supposed it wasn’t manly to admit any of those things, but it was what it was.
Wolf had no idea how to go about finding that special woman though, except he knew he wouldn’t find her in a bar. The other issue was that he was a SEAL. He was sent off to crappy little countries to kill people and to keep the peace. Every now and then they were sent off on a rescue mission. He wasn’t allowed to talk about the specifics of what he did with anyone. He had no idea how that would work in a marriage. He’d seen too many of his SEAL friends get married and then divorced because their wives just couldn’t handle the secrecy and the uncertainty of when their husbands would be coming home, or even where they were going in the first place.
To be fair, not all of the marriages ended because of the secrecy and danger inherent in being a SEAL. Some ended because one of the people in the marriage cheated on the other. Sometimes it was the wife who cheated, and other times it was the husband. Wolf shrugged. There wasn’t any use in obsessing about it. Hopefully he’d someday find someone to settle down with. If it didn’t happen during his military career, perhaps it would once he was retired. There was no rule that said someone in their forties couldn’t find true love and get married.
After drifting off and thinking about his lack of a love life, Wolf flinched when he felt a hand on his arm. He hadn’t been paying attention and was actually startled. His team would get a kick out of that. Wolf was known to always be one step ahead of the enemy and to be able to have a good idea what they were going do before they did it. Now here he was letting a civilian take him by surprise.
He opened his eyes to look at the woman sitting in the aisle seat next to him. She was ordinary. He took in her jeans, sneakers, and long sleeve T-shirt at a glance. Her brown hair was pulled up into a messy knot at the back of her head. She looked to be in her early thirties. She wore no rings; had very little makeup on, her nails weren’t polished; she had little gold studs in each ear and was looking at him expectantly. He inwardly sighed. When he was younger Wolf loved when women hit on him, now it had gotten old. Granted, this woman didn’t look like she was the type to throw herself at a man, but he’d learned that looks were deceiving when it came to what women wanted.
Glancing in her direction, Wolf thought the woman appeared to be mulling over telling him something. This in itself was fascinating, since in his experience, women tended to get right to the point of what they wanted to say. Her hesitation made him more interested in hearing what she had to say to him and he waited, patiently, as she gathered her thoughts.
Chapter Three
Caroline was nervous. She wanted to talk to the over-the-top masculine man sitting next to her, but she didn’t want him to look through her as most men did. Caroline had faded into the woodwork most of her life. No boyfriend in high school, she hadn’t gone to any of the school dances, not even prom.
One guy had the nerve to tell her that she wasn’t “girlfriend material.” Thinking back to that comment, made without thought, still hurt her today. Caroline knew she wasn’t model beautiful, but she didn’t think she was a troll either. She wasn’t tall like men seemed to want in a woman, but she wasn’t short and cute either. Caroline was average from the top of her brown-haired head to the bottom of her normal sized feet.
She’d always been the “friend” growing up. All the boys liked to talk to her, but only to get Caroline’s opinion on the other girls and if they liked them. It was depressing as hell, but she’d gotten used to it. When she got old enough to really care and actually want to go to dances and dates, Caroline was firmly in the “friend” category and she’d sat at home while everyone else went out and had a good time.
The media’s portrayals of the “perfect woman” didn’t only affect women and girls, but it did the same wit
h men. Men all seemed to want the skinny, perky, bubbly, woman they’d seen on television and in magazines all their lives. From reality shows to news casters and even to sit-coms, today’s world was bombarded with flawless women, beautiful from sun-up to sun-down.
That just wasn’t Caroline. She wasn’t a genius, but she also wasn’t dumb. She worked hard at her job and did her part to make the world go-‘round. But she often wished, when she was lying in bed late at night, that she could find a man that would see her. See the real her.
Caroline’s parents had her late in their life, and had recently passed away. She missed them. They’d been her staunchest supporters. Whatever she wanted to do, they’d encouraged her and told her she could do it. Without her parents and no close friends to keep her there, California didn’t have the appeal to Caroline that it used to.
Caroline thought about the man sitting next to her. He probably had a lot of close friends. He looked trustworthy. Caroline almost snorted at her own thoughts. How the hell could someone “look” trustworthy? It was ridiculous. Didn’t all the crime shows talk about how the killer always looked like the “guy next door?”
Caroline shook herself. She had to stop her line of thought or she’d depress herself even more than she already was. Who cared if this guy didn’t “see” her? She’d only be sitting next to him for a couple of hours, and then they’d go their separate ways once they landed in Virginia. Hell, she knew he didn’t really take note of her. He’d already met her, and when he’d sat down he’d looked right through her as if he’d never seen her before. It happened to her all the time, over and over. She should be used to it, but it seemed to hurt more this time.
Caroline had hesitated to touch him. She didn’t really want to disturb the man, but it wasn’t in her nature to let him suffer in that middle seat. Because he certainly was suffering. He looked jammed into the seat. Caroline knew he’d be stiff and uncomfortable by the time they landed in Virginia if he sat there the entire flight.
Caroline jerked her hand away after he flinched. She didn’t mean to startle him, and for a second thought that if he decided he wanted to strike out at her, he could really hurt her. Not that she thought he would, but anyone that reacted that quickly and suddenly certainly wasn’t used to being surprised.
Now he was looking at her expectantly. She’d gotten his attention and Caroline needed to follow through. She steeled herself and gave herself a quick pep talk. She just had to say it quickly before she lost her nerve.
“Um…Do you want to switch seats?”
He didn’t answer, but raised his eyebrows as if to ask why she was offering.
Geez, even his eyebrow lift was sexy. “You don’t look comfortable,” Caroline told him bluntly and honestly. “I’ll switch with you, that way you can at least have a little bit more leg room here in the aisle.”
Wolf stared at the woman. Why was she offering? He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t an idiot, he wasn’t going to turn down her offer. He was miserable. If she made a move on him later in the flight he’d just have to politely rebuff her. Jesus, he was cocky and conceited. He decided to think that the nondescript woman sitting next to simply wanted to do something nice for a stranger. He’d believe that until he was proved wrong. If he was proven wrong, he’d figure out a game plan then. Arriving at his decision, he nodded once and told her simply, “Thanks.”
Standing up and allowing the man to move out of the row, Caroline scooted past him and into the middle seat. There was something very intimate about sitting in the seat while it was still warm from his body. Especially when she thought about what body part had just been there. Caroline tried to put that out of her mind. Sheesh. Get your mind out of the gutter! Caroline admonished herself.
Caroline knew he didn’t need her slobbering all over him. She figured he had women throwing themselves at him all the time. After throwing out the “body builder” thought she’d had earlier, she guessed he was probably in the military. She hadn’t met one “normal” man who looked him that wasn’t in the military. Especially considering they were flying from San Diego, home of the one of the biggest Naval bases in the United States.
When the man leaned down to grab his backpack he’d stowed under the middle seat, Caroline stopped him.
“It’s okay, just leave it. It’ll give you more room for your legs.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course. Your bag isn’t even really blocking my legs at all, I’m short.” She chuckled at herself.
Chapter Four
Wolf looked more closely at the woman as he got comfortable and buckled his seat belt in the aisle seat. He was grateful for the extra room she’d just granted him by allowing him to leave his bag at her feet, but he didn’t understand why she’d do it.
The woman turned away from Wolf to buckle her seatbelt. It didn’t seem like she was trying to flirt with him or to get him to notice her. But the fact that she wasn’t, only seemed to draw his attention to her more. Maybe that was her plan all along?
Wolf wasn’t a man who was used to unselfish acts by other people. He lived in a world where people were deceitful and underhanded and would do anything they could to get ahead. Hell, in certain parts of the world they’d even kill someone if it meant more power, more money, or even more food to eat. Granted, giving up a comfortable seat on a plane wasn’t even in the same league as what Wolf had seen people do to gain an advantage, but that was what made it so unusual.
Caroline could feel the man’s eyes on her. It discomfited her. Shifting uneasily in her seat, Caroline wasn’t used to men looking at her that closely. She was plain and uninteresting. She knew it and so did everyone else. Caroline wasn’t the type of person who got special favors because of her looks, and she wasn’t one to draw the attention of any man. She’d long ago learned to accept it. Caroline had a pretty healthy self-esteem, even with her plain looks. She’d had a tough time growing up, what teenaged girl didn’t, but when all was said and done, Caroline learned to actually like herself. She was smart, had a good personality, and even if she didn’t have men lining up to take her out, she was mostly content with herself and her life.
Thinking about her childhood and her parents made Caroline smile. Her mom and dad always encouraged her to be who she was. Remembering when she told her dad what she wanted to do after she graduated from high school, Caroline’s smile grew wider. Some dads would’ve been disappointed, but not hers. All he’d done was kiss her on the forehead and say, “You can do anything you want to do Caroline. You’re the smartest woman I know and I’m very proud of you.” Caroline held that memory close to her heart and drew on it when she was feeling down.
Caroline snuck a peek at the man who was now sitting in the aisle seat and blushed, yup, he was still watching her.
Wolf watched as the woman glanced at him and then blushed furiously seeing his eyes on her. When was the last time he’d seen a woman blush? He couldn’t remember. It was past time they introduced themselves. He held out his hand to her. “Matthew,” he said softly. Wolf hadn’t been around a lot of people who didn’t have any connections to the military. He usually used his nickname when introducing himself, it was such an ingrained part of him, but he didn’t want to freak this woman out. Wolf wasn’t exactly a normal name for someone to call themselves in the civilian world.
Hoping she’d reciprocate and shake his hand, he waited for her to give him her hand. Wolf learned a lot about people by their handshake. Many women felt as if they shouldn’t squeeze a man’s hand when they met, so they just let their hand lay limply in his as they shook. He hated that. Wolf had no idea where that had come from, but if women knew how much it turned men off, they’d certainly stop doing it.
Caroline tentatively took his hand, but shook it with strength. She hoped he didn’t squeeze her hand too hard in an effort to show off how strong he was. He could easily crush her fingers. She’d had that happen in the past too, especially since she worked with a lot of men. They’d exert what they thought wa
s dominance, by clenching her hand too tight. It didn’t exude dominance, only assholed-ness.
“Caroline,” she reciprocated softly.
Wolf squeezed her hand and was pleasantly surprised at the softness interspersed with calluses on her palm. She obviously wasn’t one to sit around; she worked with her hands in some way.
Of course thinking about the texture of her palm immediately made him think about how it’d feel caressing his body. Wolf was immediately ashamed of himself. Jesus, it’d obviously been way too long since he’d been with a woman if a simple handshake made him hard. He shifted in his seat trying to hide his arousal from the slight woman innocently sitting next to him.
Caroline was also pleased at their handshake. The man didn’t squeeze her fingers too hard, and seemed to lighten up a bit after they dropped their hands. She noticed he shifted restlessly, but figured he was just trying to get comfortable in the cramped airplane seat.
They smiled at each other before directing their attention to the flight attendant at the front of the plane.
Another flight attendant came over the speaker and asked that all electronic devices be turned off, or put in airplane mode, and to prepare for takeoff.
Caroline watched as the attendant in the aisle went through the motions of showing the passengers how to put on their seatbelt, how to use the lifejacket in case of a water landing, and how to operate the flimsy oxygen thingies that would fall from the ceiling of the plane in case of depressurization. Caroline didn’t want to think of the panic that would ensue in the plane if any of those things actually happened.
Caroline noticed that the flight attendant seemed extra bored. She figured giving the same demonstration to a plane full of people who were ignoring you could get old really fast, but wasn’t it their job to at least pretend to have enthusiasm while doing it? She’d seen the video clips online of flight attendants who joked and danced, she’d never been on a flight with one who had done that, but these guys actually looked annoyed and uninterested about the entire pre-flight routine. It was weird.