by Susan Stoker
“Uh…” was all Caroline could get out. Holy. Shit.
Matthew continued as if he hadn’t just blown her mind. “So, I’m coming over in an hour to get you. I thought I’d take you to meet my friend, Tex. The one I told you about on the plane? He’s having a mini-get together with us, Abe, and Mozart and some of his friends here in town. I want you to meet him. It’s casual, so don’t dress up. Okay?”
Knowing this was a huge deal, meeting his friend, all Caroline could do is say, “Okay.”
“I’ll come up when I get there. See you soon, Caroline.”
Caroline hung up the phone. An hour. She couldn’t wait to see him again.
* * *
Caroline threw her head back and laughed unselfconsciously at Matthew’s friend, Tex. His name was really John, but since he’d been from Texas when he joined the SEALs his nickname was naturally, Tex. He still had a thick southern accent and was just as brawny as all the other men standing around.
Tex had been on a mission and in a building which had been hit by an IED. The men downplayed the incident, but Caroline instinctively knew there was a lot more to it than they’d talked about.
Tex had lost his leg after several surgeries to try to repair it. He told her one day after he’d been admitted to the hospital again for a severe infection, he begged the doctors to just take it off. He figured it’d be better than dealing with the pain of infections and numerous surgeries to try to heal it, when he most likely wouldn’t be able to walk on it again anyway.
Tex was hysterical, constantly saying outrageous things to make her laugh. Caroline didn’t think she’d laughed so hard in all her life. Caroline liked all of Tex’s friends as well, and had enjoyed hanging out with Christopher and Sam. The guys had told her to call them Abe and Mozart, but as she’d told them earlier, it felt weird to call them by their nicknames when she wasn’t a part of their team. They’d argued with her about it, claiming she was a part of their damn team, but she’d gotten stubborn and crossed her arms and told them in no uncertain terms that she’d call them what she wanted and they could just deal. Abe and Mozart merely laughed and told her she could call them whatever she wanted, but she’d always be “Ice” to them.
Nobody talked about what Tex did now that he was medically retired from the Navy. Caroline had asked once and noticed the subject was quickly changed. She’d merely shrugged, figuring it was a secret Navy thing or he was embarrassed about it. Either way, it didn’t matter as she probably wouldn’t ever see him again.
Caroline tried not to feel self-conscious at the get together. There were some other women around, but she kept herself glued to Matthew’s side. It was hard for her to open up, and she felt most comfortable with Matthew. He certainly wasn’t complaining and was constantly touching her. He’d put his hand at her waist to steady her, brought her a plate of food once it was done, and brushed his hand against hers. Once he even kissed her on the top of her head when she was feeling bad for Tex and what he’d gone through. Caroline loved it, but she was still cautious. She’d never understand what Matthew saw in her.
After leaving Tex’s house, Matthew had taken her to the Botanical Gardens. The gardens were beautiful. Caroline didn’t know the name of many of the flowers, but she loved seeing the artistic way they’d been arranged and grown on the grounds. Matthew bought her a bouquet of some exotic type of flower and they’d made their way back to her hotel room.
Matthew came up with her to the room and settled them on the couch. They’d ordered room service and had eaten it enjoying each other’s company and the relaxed conversation about nothing in particular.
As night fell, Caroline got more and more nervous. She couldn’t help but think about what Matthew had said that morning about taking her to bed. One side of her, the hussy side, wanted it. The other more practical side, knew it was too soon.
“What are you thinking about so hard?” Wolf asked, putting his finger under her chin and lifting it so she had to look him in the eye.
“I…just…I want you.” Caroline couldn’t believe she’d just blurted it out like that.
“I want you too,” Wolf returned without hesitation.
“It’s just…well…”
“It’s too soon.” Wolf finished her sentence for her.
Caroline nodded. “I like you Matthew, but I don’t know about this. About us. You’re…you and I’m me…and you live in California and I just moved here…”
Wolf drew Caroline into his body. She felt so right there. He couldn’t believe how right she felt. She had some valid points. They had a lot going against them, the least of which was that they lived on opposite sides of the country.
“Shhhh, Ice. I know this is crazy. We just met, but I’ll tell you this, I’ve never, in all my life, felt about someone the way I feel about you. There’s something about you that I’m having a hard time resisting.”
He felt her nod against his chest and smiled.
“I’d love to spend my leave time with you and see if we think this thing between us can work out. I’m not going to say we won’t make love, because I want that more than I can tell you, but I’ll try to keep it easy for now. Okay?”
At her soft, “okay,” he let out the breath he’d been holding. Wolf didn’t know what he would’ve done if she’d disagreed with him.
“But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to kiss you, hold you and touch you as much as I can while we’re ‘taking it slow.’ I want to make sure you’re good with that.”
Caroline lifted her head from his chest and looked him in the eyes. “I’m very good with that, Matthew.”
He smiled and turned and stretched her out under him on the couch. Touching from their toes to chest, Wolf could feel Caroline’s heart beating quickly under him. He could see her breathing increase and felt her hands grip his shirt at his waist.
Wolf leaned down, brought his lips low until they remained a breath above hers, and waited. She didn’t disappoint him. She stretched her neck up until she could reach his mouth. He sighed in contentment. Caroline wanted the same thing he did. Thank God. It was important to him that she come to him. While he wasn’t shy or usually all that concerned about being the aggressor in a relationship, with Caroline, he wanted her to be sure. He wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her.
While his lips caressed hers, his hands roamed her body gently. He kept his hands on top of her clothes, knowing he wouldn’t be able to stop himself if he felt Caroline’s creamy skin against his hands. Wolf was careful not to touch her injured side, but otherwise he didn’t hold his roaming hands back.
He skimmed his hands over her breasts lightly, feeling her nipples peak under his touch. He kept moving, gentling her when she bucked under him and holding her tight against him so she could feel how excited he was. Wolf didn’t want her to think she was alone in what she was feeling, alone in her attraction.
Finally with one hand at her hip holding her close and one hand lying over her heart, he pulled his lips away from hers reluctantly.
“Jesus, Caroline. You’re perfect. Perfect for me.”
As he expected, she blushed a rosy pink.
“You’re not so bad yourself, Matthew.”
He smiled and pulled them upright. Caroline’s hair was mussed and her lips were swollen from their passionate kisses. She looked amazing. Wolf fitted her body next to his and kissed her on top of her head.
“Snuggle in, Ice. I don’t want to leave yet, but we have to stop…that…so we’ll watch a movie. Sound good?”
Caroline smiled. Hell yeah it sounded good.
* * *
Wolf jerked awake. He could go from asleep to being one hundred percent awake, thanks to being a SEAL. He didn’t know what had woken him up until he heard a whimper. Caroline was jerking in his arms. It was obvious she was having a nightmare.
“Wake up, Ice.” Wolf tried to talk her out of her dream, but Caroline just whimpered louder at his words. “Caroline.” Wolf said loudly and firmly. “Wake up. Y
ou’re dreaming.”
Wolf wasn’t ready for her reaction. She fought against him as if she was back on the plane fighting the terrorist.
Caroline fought with all her might. The terrorist was going to hurt Matthew, she had to make sure he didn’t get to him. It was up to her to save Matthew. She batted at the hands that were grabbing at her, ignoring his words. She had to fight, if she didn’t, he’d kill her.
Her struggles had made them tumble off the couch—luckily he’d hit the floor first and prevented Caroline from landing on her back. Wolf’s heart hurt at the expression on her face. She was terrified and his hold on her wasn’t helping.
“Caroline!” Wolf yelled. She stilled, he was getting to her. He turned her over so she was lying on her back on the floor. He hovered over her, not putting his weight on her, but close enough he could still feel her body heat. “Wake up! You’re safe, you’re fine. You’re here in Virginia, not on the plane. Come back to me. It’s Matthew.”
“Matthew?” Caroline’s voice was soft, disbelieving.
“Yes, open your eyes.”
Caroline forced her eyes to open and saw that it was, indeed, Matthew. He was straddled over her, leaning down peering into her eyes intently.
“Oh shit,” Caroline whispered.
“Come on, let’s get you up off the floor.” Wolf helped her sit up and situated back on the couch. As soon as she was, he sat next to her and pulled her into his chest.
“You’re okay. It was just a dream.”
Caroline shook with the aftereffects of the images that had been flitting through her head. It had seemed so real.
“Want to talk about it?”
She shook her head against his chest, not looking up.
“Okay. I’m assuming it was about what happened on the plane?” At her nod he told her, “You need to talk to someone about it, Caroline. If you don’t, the dreams won’t stop. Believe me, I know.”
At that, Caroline looked up at Matthew. “You know?”
He looked grim, but met her eyes. “Yeah, in my line of work there’s no way I can keep it all bottled in. It’s true most men in the military don’t like to admit to weaknesses when it comes to nightmares and PTSD, but we’re required to debrief anytime we have a heavy mission. In fact, Abe, Mozart, and I are required to meet with someone here to talk about what happened on the plane.”
Caroline could only stare up at him in amazement. “Really?”
Wolf chuckled and brought her into his chest again. She tucked her head under his chin and wrapped her arms around his waist. He changed position until he was lying with his head on the armrest of the couch, shifting Caroline until she was lying with her front settled along his side. Her arm came to rest on his chest, where she idly drew shapes over his heart.
“Yeah. Can’t say I like all the shrinks they make us see, but honestly, it works. We might grumble about it, but if it keeps us sane, and ready for our next mission, we’ll do it.”
“I was fighting that guy. I knew if he got the better of me or if I let him go, he’d go and kill you. I didn’t want you to die.” Caroline spoke quietly and from the heart.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Wolf tightened his arms around her. “You were so brave. I’m so proud of you. But…” he waited until she raised her eyes to his. When she was looking at him, he continued. “I can take care of myself. Don’t ever put yourself in danger again for me. Promise me.”
“But Matthew, this is just…I don’t…” Shit. She’d never had a hard time expressing what she wanted to say before. But the right words just wouldn’t come to her.
He shook his head. “No buts. Just promise me Caroline. Look after you first. Always.”
She could only nod. The look in his eyes was intense. She broke eye contact and laid her head back down. She gripped him harder and brought the hand that was lying on his chest up and curled it around the back of his neck and squeezed.
“Sleep now. I’m here. I’ll make sure nothing happens to you.”
“Thank you. I feel safe here with you.”
Caroline fell asleep still clutching him. Wolf had never felt more content in all his life. Usually he felt antsy sleeping with a woman; never letting her cuddle into him, and leaving as soon as it was socially acceptable. But with Caroline all bets were off.
Long after the sun fell from the sky Wolf eased out from under her. He once more carried Caroline to bed. He laughed quietly to himself. This was becoming a habit for him—one he liked.
As he spread the comforter over Caroline, Wolf heard the shrill ring of his phone in the other room in the suite. Crap. His phone didn’t ring unless it was work. No! They still had over a week before they were supposed to leave. Maybe it was about the terrorist incident? With one final look at Caroline and one last light kiss to her forehead, Wolf closed the bedroom door softly and went to answer his phone, hoping against hope it was nothing important.
* * *
Caroline stretched carefully as she woke, amazed at how quickly her side was healing, and looked around. Crap. Really? Third time in a row? Once again she didn’t remember how she’d gotten to bed. She did remember her nightmare and the intense make out session with Matthew though.
Smiling at the memory, Caroline immediately looked at the pillow next to her and saw a piece of paper folded up.
Her heart raced and she couldn’t wait to see what he had to say. Caroline reached over and grabbed the unassuming little note and opened it.
Caroline, you have to know I hate having to write you another note. Hopefully one day I can be right there next to you when you wake up...Now that you’re blushing…
Jesus, this man knew her so well. Caroline kept reading.
…You know Mozart, Abe, and I came out here to Norfolk for vacation before our mission started; unfortunately that mission came sooner than we thought it would. I’ve had a great time spending time with you over the last couple of days. If it’s okay, I’d like to get in touch with you when we get back. I’d like to get to know you better. I know we have some things to work out, mainly the distance between our homes, but I still want to explore what’s happening between us. I’m not sure how long it’ll take for us to get back to Norfolk. Sometimes our missions are short, but other times they can drag on much longer than we’d like. I’m leaving my cell phone number so you can call me. If you’d like to get together when I get back (and I hope you will!) just call and leave me a number where I can reach you. I’ll call as soon as we get back. Good luck with your new job. Knock ‘em dead! Matthew. PS. Abe and Mozart say hello and they’re sorry they didn’t get to hang out with us last night. I didn’t tell them I wasn’t…
Caroline read the letter twice and hugged it to her chest. She wasn’t sure what to do about Matthew. It was a heady feeling, one she’d never experienced. No one ever wanted to get to know her better. It was almost too good to be true.
Caroline carefully put the letter in her purse and took a deep breath. Time to get back to her real life. She wasn’t a SEAL and needed to contact her employer to let him know what was going on. She could even start work early if he wanted her to and she almost hoped he did. She needed something to take her mind off of Matthew and everything that had happened recently.
Caroline packed up and took one last look around the hotel room on her way out. She was headed to the apartment she’d rented before coming out to Virginia. Before she left, she pulled out both letters Matthew had left her and read them one more time. On impulse she added his number to her cell phone contacts. Not that she was going to call him…they couldn’t possibly work out…it was better to end things now before she fell in love with him…wasn’t it?
Chapter Twelve
Two weeks later.
For the most part, Caroline was enjoying her job. It was much the same as she’d done in San Diego. A chemist’s work really wasn’t that exciting to most people no matter where it was done, but Caroline loved it. It was hard to explain to someone else why or even what she did. She was just fascinat
ed how the mixing of chemicals could make something useful and lifesaving, or it could make it destructive and deadly. She recalled how Matthew had seemed interested when she’d tried to explain what it was she did to him.
She’d actually dialed Matthew’s cell phone a few times in the last few days. Each time she planned to leave a message agreeing to see him when he got back, but she chickened out each time. Heck she had no idea if he was even back already. What if he’d changed his mind and decided a relationship was too much trouble? Did he even want a relationship? She was driving herself nuts.
Caroline decided to give Matthew the benefit of the doubt and believe he was still out of the country. So she’d called him. Just hearing his voice on his voice mail was enough to snap her to her senses. What was she doing? They had a great time in those couple of days together, but what if he was just feeling grateful she’d help save his life, or he was just concerned about her in the way someone would be concerned about a sister?
Of course the kisses they shared didn’t feel like a brother/sister kiss to her. She sighed. She usually wasn’t this indecisive. When she wanted something she went for it. But then again, she’d never had someone who looked like Matthew show her any attention before.
Caroline thought about the three SEALs quite a bit over the last two weeks. She supposed you didn’t go through something like what they had and not feel some sort of connection. She did want to know if Matthew, Sam, and Christopher were all okay and back safe from wherever they’d gone, but she was embarrassed to actually leave him a message. Matthew was the kind of man a woman only dreamed about. He was the type of man that tall gorgeous women dated, not someone like her; a geeky scientist.
The media had been going crazy over the hijacking. Every time she turned on the TV a story about it was on. Caroline had seen Brandy all over the various news channels. Brandy had no idea what she was talking about, as she’d hidden in the back of the plane while everything was happening, but the news outlets were still clamoring to talk to her.