The captain continued. “Tonight I am going to tell you about me past. What I tell you never comes off your tongue or your tongue will come off. I be telling you this because I want to make you an offer when I am finished. But first, me husband is dying to ask you two crew men some questions.”
Patrick impatiently asked, “Shamus Red, you bastard who never dies, how the hell did you end up serving on the Robin again?”
“Well I don’t really fookin’ serve on it, lad. I own it!” He smiled a toothless grin.
He spun his wild tale. “Ya remember when I last saw ya, dat Captain Gibbons double-crossed us and added more fookin’ years to our indentured service? This pissed on me last nerve and I decided I was done bein’ ‘nother man’s fookin’ slave. I gathered all da silver I won at dice and sealed it in a barrel. I did not know dat the captain would soon be helpin’ me escape and be throwin’ me treasure barrel in da drink for me. When he order dos two man humpers keelhauled and cast overboard with me fookin’ barrel of silver tied to dem, I knew twas time to make me escape. As all da crew ran to da starboard side ta watch da kook lovers float away, I slipped o’er the larboard side and no souls noticed. I stayed under da drink for as long as I fookin’ could while da Robin sailed away. Den I swam over to da arse-rammers and untied dem. Da two were so weak that I helped keep ‘em from drownin’ while the tide carried us to shore.
“When we beached, I helped clean out da canyons dat had been carved into dere backs by the keelhaulin’. I felt bad for the kook munchers and nursed ‘em back to da livin’. When dey were healed, dey were so grateful dat they been helpin’ me ever since. Da man-lovers were dumbstruck when I pried open da barrel and took me booty of silver out,” Shamus smiled as he drank a swig of rum.
“I am surprised you would ally yourself with men so unpure in God’s eyes,” Garland injected.
“I don’t have da same problem as Jesus has wit ‘em. As long dey don’t affect me coin pouch or me freedom, I could give a pelican’s shite who dey be fookin’,” Shamus spouted and started drinking again.
The door opened up and an attractive whore-turned-ship’s-cook walked in. “Lads, dis be Teresa da scullery wench. She be Italian or Greek or sometin’. All I knows is I can’t understand a g’damn ting she says, but she makes some great fookin’ food. I also give’er work because I like da way her arse be lookin’ when she bends o’er to set out me food,” Shamus grinned.
Teresa then delivered the food to the table and the men did indeed predictably ogle her. “How did you come to owning the Robin?” Patrick inquired.
The Irishman took the rum down from his lips. “After a very difficult fookin’ journey, we boarded at a room in Charles Towne. Dere was a lovely pub called da Pink House Tavern. Dey toss ropes o’r that sea wall so’s we can sneak into da city for some food and pleasures. Dey got some decent women dere, but fookin’ on those pads wit only a blanket hangin’ between me and my whore and the whore and her sailor next to us was a wee bit fookin’ awkward. It be tight quarters as it’s a tiny buildin’, but dey make the most of it wit a whore for every speck of the floor! Shite, I remember havin’ to cram into a small space in da roof e’ery time the city’s watchmen would come by, lookin’ fer trouble. Damn self-righteous men of piety! We know good ‘n’ damn well dey get a good fook once in a while, too, in exchange for lookin’ da other way! Well, the tavern hosted many fantastic games of liar's dice. I quickly found I had a gift for throwin’ bones.”
“You mean you have a gift for lying,” April injected.
“Well, yes, dat too,” the toothless man laughed. “Quickly, I built up a good bit o’jingle, but lost it just as fast. I admit, we did go back to Savannah once. I was havin’ a spell of bad luck and needed some more o’ the color. Da man-shaggers and meself ‘eard rumors that Oglethorpe had a very expensive silk winder just sittin’ in the trustee’s garden wit no fookin’ guards or anythin’. Normally I don’t go makin’ it a habit to be stealin’ others things, but I figures Oglethorpe paid for it by stealin’ da locals silver dat dey were forced to pay through g’damn crooked taxes. So you could say we ‘liberated’ bloody winder and gave it back to the people who paid for it, for a small fee of course." He shot a toothless grin across the table.
He continued, "After we sold da governor’s prized toy we came back to Charles Towne. We stayed in dat town for years amassing a good amount of color from gamblin’. Twas about last month da locals finally got upset over losing so much and accused me of cheatin’. Dey ran me out o’ town and we fled back to Savannah. We come back to Savannah about a month ago and, to me surprise, the Robin was in port. I march’d right up to da angry, fookin’ kook-sooker Captain Gibbons, and offered him me winnings for da ship. Da greedy bastard immediately took da gold and retired into a life o’ high society. Tis all that shite-eatin’ captain ever wanted. I mean look how he dressed and talked like a dandy,” Shamus paused to take another swig and a bite of fish.
“April Sky immediately knew I bought da barky and came to me askin’ if I wanted to hire her as captain. I thought dere was no way a woman was going to captain me ship until I found out who she be. Once I knew da truth, I would be a fool not to take her on. Many of da g’damn crew left because dey would not sail under a woman. You’ll see a few familiar faces from da Robin’s crew topside. And of course, a whole lot o’ whores, God willin’,” Shamus smiled.
April interrupted to change the line of conversation. “I found out from whoremaster Darden about Archibald’s grim fate and how your group of friends were now known men. We have been trying to locate you since then. Miss Darden brought me news that your Scottish friends were trying to procure you passage out of Savannah. That treacherous bartender Jim Jaques betrayed our trust and drugged you with high amounts of laudanum in your rum so he could collect your bounty. You were only minutes away from having your neck stretched by redcoats when Sam and the whoremaster summoned help. Fifteen crew members dragged you to the docks through the secret pirate smuggling tunnels we had built below the pub a few years back. It was a good thing Sam recognized who you were. Actually, he recognized Isaac because it is pretty hard to disguise a hulking Jew of that size. We smuggled your bodies on the ship and cast off in the night. Patrick, I found your gold hidden in your pants while you were sleeping,” she grinned.
Isaac interjected, “Sam, you still have time left on your indenture-hood. How goes it that you serve on this ship?”
“I purchased me freedom early thanks to a large, gray, stinky waxy ball that I found while fishing,” Sam Scurvy proudly stated.
“I don’t understand. Why would someone pay you for wax?” Patrick stated in confusion.
“Ya really are da worst sailor lad. He’s talking about whale vomit from a sperm whale ya sheep-fucker,” Shamus interrupted.
“That’s correct. That huge stinking ball of ambergris was worth its weight in gold. It seems it smells very sweet as it ages and the ladies of high society pay a fortune for the perfumes made by it. The smell from it is supposed to also keep the black plague from taking hold of you as well matey. I was blessed to recover such a rare find,” the bow-legged sailor grinned.
“Den he runs into me at da docks and I offered him a job as da sailing master. Sam has proven himself one helluva navigator. Now, if we could only find Jessup, we’d have da whole criminal gang again,” the sunburned Irishman chimed in.
Sam answered, “Last I saw him was about three years back. He was making a good amount of silver as bonuses killing those whales. I heard a rumor he was lost at sea, killed by an angry right whale he was trying to spear but that could be just a story, who knows the truth?”
“Right whale?” Patrick questioned.
“Arrrr. When you hunt a whale, most will sink when you spear them. They are the 'wrong' kind of whale to harvest. The large baleen whales are the 'right' ones to harpoon. They float to the surface after they die and are easy to tow in,” the fisherman explained. Sam then offered a toast, “Here’s to Jessup, where ever he
may be. Huzzah!”
“Huzzah!” the table repeated as they drank.
Next, Garland told her sad tale and even shared the details of her poisoning her captors.
“Remind me never to take a drink from ya, lass,” Shamus taunted.
“Keep your cock out of me and you won’t have to worry about it,” she snapped back.
Isaac and Patrick recounted their complicated stories next. The table was surprised by how many adventures and near death experiences the two had been through in such a short time.
Miss Darden then explained how she made her fortune throwing private parties and secret orgies for the elite socialites of Savannah. She seemed to know everything about everyone and was an endless fountain of knowledge about Savannah’s comings and goings. She bragged that her job really was to keep her mouth shut. The curvy blonde had scandalous dirt and gossip on everyone in that town. April employed her to run the whores and to keep them safe. She said she was threatened with murder many times for the secrets she kept and did not feel it was safe to live in Savannah anymore. She shut down the Red Lady and eight of the prostitutes came with her to the Robin.
“Now that all of our dirty secrets are out, tell me, wife, who are you really?” Patrick asked.
The room quieted and the diners pulled their seats closer to hear her every word.
“Let me tell you what I have been up to, me wolf, since we last sailed. We sold the cannons to some Spanish and French privateers and even made enough profit to keep a few. We mainly have been running rum since that large sale, except of course when we ruined Oglethorpe’s siege of St. Augustine. If he knew it was my ships that ran the blockade and resupplied the Spanish town, all of us would have walked the plank. Anyways, that is not why I had this meeting, we need to discuss more important matters.” Her mood darkened and her tone grew serious.
April began, “A few of you know my real name and a little about me, but none of you know my whole story. I am going to tell you, but only because you need to know the truth for what I am about to ask you.”
The captain first explained that all the diners would need to learn a little about pirating history to understand all she was about to tell. She explained England, Spain, and France all used privateers to attack each other. It was legalized pirating; as long as one did not attack their own country's vessels, the government would ignore their murder and stealing. For years, privateers attacked each other and made fortunes. When the countries made peace, they officially ended their privateer programs. This left many privateers out of work. They were addicted to the lifestyle and fast gold and would not stop. The successful privateers took to pirating. She reminded them how when people look back, they always forget that those governments created this problem. Foolish wars and policies gave birth to the scourge of the seas.
One of the most famous pirates was ‘Calico’ Jack Rackham. Like most pirates of that time, he harbored at Nassau, New Providence, a villainous den of ill repute that April wistfully stated she missed. A rich daughter of a South Carolina plantation owner lived in Nassau at the time with her ex-pirate husband, who turned informant for the redcoats. Her name was Anne Bonny and she was a real daisy. Men tripped all over themselves just to get a look at her. While frequenting the pirate pubs in Nassau, she quickly found herself smitten with Rackham. Since she was still married to a man she did not want, Calico Jack and her ran off together and took to a life of piracy. They were so skilled at this endeavor that the couple made most of their fortune attacking other pirates.
April continued her history lesson by explaining that in June of 1719, the pirate-couple boarded a Dutch merchant ship and, immediately following, the crew surrendered without much fight. All except for one brave soul who would not drop his sword. Jack was impressed with this display of courage and asked the soldier to join his crew and pirate with them. The soldier agreed and proved himself an excellent swordsman and sailor. That brave soul was named Mark Read. As time went by, Calico Jack noticed that Anne had taken fancy to this new sailor, Mark Read. Jack noticed them go off to be alone and in a fit of jealous man-rage, he broke in on their tryst and caught the half-naked lovers in the act. In that moment, Jack noticed that Mark had breasts and was stunned to discover he was actually a woman named Mary Read. Read had pretended to be a boy most of her life and was a successful cabin boy and later, a soldier. Despite Anne’s affection for Read, Jack let her stay on the ship. It was even rumored they had a three-way relationship.
Eventually, Rackham's ship was captured in Jamaica because Jack's crew was too drunk to fight. The women were so enraged with their own crew's ineptitude that they actually attacked them before being captured. The whole crew was eventually put on trial in Spanish Town, Jamaica in 1720. All of the male crew, including Jack, were hanged. The two women were spared leniency because they were both with child.
Bonny and Read were both kept in a Jamaican jail where they delivered their babies. Mary and her baby passed away during child birth. It was rumored that Anne had her child there and that her rich father somehow bribed someone to smuggle her back to Charles Towne.
18th century wood cut of Mary Read
Patrick interrupted April and asked, “Yes, everyone has heard this tale. It was indeed quite the scandal of its time but what’s this tale got to do with you?"
April darkened around the eyes and projected a sense of fear in the room, “Husband, have you ever wondered how come the fact that I be a woman captain is overlooked and ignored by so many? Didn’t you ever wonder why I can dress like a tattooed harlot and people still do what I say and respect me? Any other woman dressed like this would end up in the pillory or worse. I am allowed this freedom to be who I am because people fear the rumors about me be true.”
“To be honest, I did find that the whole situation around you was out of sorts,” Patrick admitted.
“I am the last living pirate of those times that is still at sea. My true name is 'April Read' and I am Mary’s younger half-sister. I was one of the bastard children my father left in his wake. Mary knew of me and reached out to me when I was young. Before taking to the seas again, she was married to a nice fellow and they made good money owning an inn located in Holland. When he died young, she was heartbroken and went back to pretending she was a man, taking to the seas again. She sent me money from the profits of the inn and paid for my passage to Nassau. I waited for her and grew up in the roughest, most treacherous city in the world. She never showed and I eventually found work as a whore and made a great deal of money from drunken pirates.
“I copied her ruse that she had been performing her whole life and dressed as a man known as Albert Read. When I heard the wild rumors in the taverns that there were two women pirates on Jack’s ship, I knew that one of them must be my sister. I used me whoring profits to barter passage to Jack’s flagship the Kingston. It was January 1720 and Calico Jack had a small fleet of ships he captured at that time. They always need able-bodied sailors, so they welcomed me aboard. Eventually, I was able to secretly disclose who I was to Mary. Only she and Anne knew I was a woman and they never told a soul. To this day, it be a secret that only few souls know.
“I only got to spend a few months with them, but Mary taught me a lifetime’s worth of pirating during that time. I learned to handle a blade, sail, navigate, and run a ship. I also did some terrible things that I spent my life trying to atone for. We stole from and killed many souls in those short months. One night while we got protective tattoos, she instructed the man to draw a strange design on the inside my upper arm. Later she told me she had stopped at an island and buried all her share of booty there. If anything happened to her, the tattoo would lead me to her swag. She shuttled all that heavy gold from the ship to her secret location, in shifts. It took her an entire day to carry it alone and bury it. She knew she could not trust anyone. Mary convinced Jack to make me captain of two small merchant ketches and deliver some rum to New York. I left at the end of summer and said my goodbyes to my sister. I never saw h
er again. She and the rest of the crew were captured shortly after and died in prison. I carried on pretending I was a man and focused on smuggling.
"The governments that created pirates knew they had to clean up their mess so a war was declared against pirating. It did not take long. By 1725, very few pirates were left. I turned over my crew and hired a new crew who did not know anything of my past. I hired Captain K.T Brewer and his shady men to smuggle goods on these little vessels. We spent the next eight years making silver any way we could.
"When the colony of Savannah came into being, it was my opportunity to settle down and get away from the seas. I revealed that I was a woman to the crew. They had served under me and trusted my captaining for years so, after the shock wore off, they decided to stay on. They agreed to keep operating my ships while I set up a brothel in Savannah.
"What I quickly learned was how much I hated living under the rules of others. After years of living free, it was neutering to set up in a town under British control. I quickly realized I had made a mistake but had to earn enough gold to get a proper ship to live out the rest of my years on. Unfortunately, the wind be blowing me about in circles. All the gold I make seems to go out to all me employees living needs and such.”
The group at the table looked around in stunned amazement at each. The tale they had just heard was hard to believe but plausible. It did fit many puzzle pieces together in Patrick’s mind. “That is an unbelievable tale, wife. So what does that have to do with asking us for something?” Patrick queried.
“I am not so much asking you a question but making you men an offer. All of you have been victims of kings, rulers, government and other masters. I had a vision in a dream to make a vessel where all society's outcasts can live free. People are not pressed into service or purchased. They are free to come and go at any time. Those who chose to make a life on this ship can live however they please as long as they do not use force, threats or violence on another. I want a place to live without an authority telling anyone how we must live, a place where all deals are made with each other in a peaceful and voluntarily manner. We will use the teachings of the Freeman Society and have our own culture based on individual freedoms and liberty. Here you only have to answer to yourself. Lads, I offer you the opportunity to join this crew and help me build this vision into a fleet of freedom.”
Pirates of Savannah: The Complete Trilogy - Colonial Historical Fiction Action Adventure (Pirates of Savannah (Adult Version)) Page 29