I smile and walk back around my desk. “Excellent! I need you to make another date with him. Do you think if I give you a flash drive and have him distracted you can download everything from them?”
“Yes.”
“Good, let me know a time and place and I will have things ready to go. I will send someone to help distract him to give you enough time to do what’s needed.”
“What about Vin? He saw me with him already and demanded I not see Troy again.”
“Don’t worry about Vincent. Let me handle him. It has to be you. You are the only one I trust when it comes to my family.”
“And you will make Vin stop all this bullshit and let me go?”
“If that is what you still want then yes, I will.”
She grabs her purse and starts to walk out but stops at the door turning. “I’m sorry Catherine, for all of this. I never meant for any feelings to start. I should’ve known better.” She turns back around and leaves me alone in my office. Now I need to make a plan.
33
Vin
I’m on my way to Brittany’s when I get a phone call. It’s Troy reminding me time is ticking. My deadline is coming, and I am no closer to finding out who he’s working for. I need to find out before it’s too late. The old men are right, if I kill Troy, I’ll only take care of the problem temporarily.
I pull up to Brittany’s home and knock on her door. I’m starting to get frustrated because she’s not answering the door. I know she’s home, so I keep knocking. I start hollering her name and knock harder. She finally opens the door with her hand on her hip. Giving me full attitude as she yells at me.
“What, no key?! I thought my master would have found a way to get a key by now.”
I walk in, pushing her back. “So, I take it that you’ve heard the good news?”
“Good news?! Vincent you can’t do this!”
“The hell I can’t!”
I slam the front door and walk further into the house.
“No, you can’t! I will not be owned by you!”
“Owned?!”
“Yes, owned like your mother.”
What the fuck?! I push her up against the wall, “What do you think you know?”
“I know everything! I went to Catherine, she told me about your mother. I know she belonged to your father.”
I push her harder against the wall. “That fucking man was not my father! Do you hear me?! He was fucking nothing to me, nothing!”
She starts struggling under me. “Vincent you’re hurting me. Stop it!”
I look down and see the position I put her in. What the hell am I doing? I immediately release her and back away, not believing my anger.
“I’m sorry.”
“You should be! About it all! I’m not going to be your property.”
“It’s not like that!”
“Yes, it is! It is exactly like that. I won’t have it. I belong to no man, you hear me, Vin? Not even you!”
“I do not own you! I bought the contracts so that you would be safe. You wouldn’t have to worry about anyone hurting you.”
She walks around me whispering, “Except for you.”
She might have whispered, but I heard it loud and clear. “What do you mean, except for me?”
“You hurt me, Vin! This is hurting me, you and this arrangement.”
“How? You belong to me now, and you know I would never hurt you.”
“Belong, belong. That fucking word. I do not belong to anyone!”
“You’re mine and mine alone!”
She grabs one of her stupid knick knacks off the table and hurls it at me. “What does that even mean?! I’m yours to what Vin, to love, to cherish, to have children with? What? Because we both know that’s not what you want, and you sure in the hell don’t want those things with me.”
She starts crying as I stand here thinking of what to say. I didn’t think this all out. I just need to make her understand that I did this for her. I’m protecting her. And for me, I guarantee no man will ever dare touch her again. But do I want everything? She’s wrong about one thing, because if I did or do want those things, it would only ever be with her.
I walk over to her and hold her tear stained face up to mine. “Brittany, I don’t want it to be like this, but I don’t know if I can promise you anything more. All I know, is I want you safe and I need you. I can’t have another man touching you anymore, I just can’t. I will kill anyone who tries.”
She turns out of my hold. “It’s too late Vincent, maybe if you would’ve come to me but you didn’t. You went behind my back, so I went behind yours.”
“What did you do?”
“I went to Catherine. I don’t belong to you and I never will. Catherine is making sure of it.”
I grab her pulling her back to me. “Why would you do that?!”
“Because I had too!”
“It won’t work Brittany, you’re mine, contracts or no contracts. I don’t care what Catherine says, I am not giving you up.”
I wrap my arms around her and kiss her with all I have. When she opens for me, I feel her release all the tension in her body and give in to me. But when I try to take it further, she breaks the kiss and pushes me away.
“No Vin! It’s done. I want you to leave. Just go!”
I move to walk closer to her, but she backs away. “Vin please, just go. I can’t, not anymore.”
“I’m going to leave, but this isn’t finished, not by a long shot. You are mine and I don’t care what Catherine says, you will remain mine.”
I walk out, slamming the door with the sound of her crying in the background. This is nothing like what my father did. He fucked my mother, that was it. He kept her for him, not for her, and he sure in the hell didn’t care what she thought or what she felt.
I arrive at home in a hurry, slamming another door on my way in yelling, “Catherine!”
“Catherine, where are you?!”
Jeffery comes running, telling me she’s in her office. I storm down the hall, opening the door to see her and Fallon talking.
I look directly at Catherine as I walk towards her. “What the hell did you do?!”
She smiles up at me and says, “I wonder what has you all in a tizzy?”
“Stop with the games Mom. I’ve had enough. You know exactly what I mean.”
At this point, I don’t even care that Fallon is in the room looking shocked. She already knows about me and Brittany.
“Let’s see son, which made you angrier? That I told Brittany everything, or that I told her I would set her free from you?”
“I don’t care if she knows! She already knew most of it! I care that you offered her help to get away from me. You had no right!”
“I have every right! Especially when it comes to Brittany. I love that girl and you are doing nothing but hurting her!”
“I’m not hurting her. I would never hurt her.”
“You are son. You are trying to own her instead of loving her.”
Fallon stands, “What the hell did you do Vin?!”
I look at her and tell her, “I bought all her contracts, she’s mine now. She doesn’t have to work anymore. I will keep her safe.”
Fallon sits with a huff. “Catherine, where did you go wrong with these boys? God, I hope I don’t make that mistake with Gavin.”
Catherine laughs out loud, hysterically. “I tried, Lord knows I tried. But they refuse to listen. What am I supposed to do? You tell him.”
Fallon looks up at me. “You bought her. Didn’t I tell you to figure out what you wanted?”
“I did, now she’s mine.”
“No you didn’t, you bought her like she was property. You need to love her. Do you love her, Vin?”
“Why is everyone caught up in my business? I will handle Brittany the way I want.”
Mom stands pissed. “Not with Brittany, you won’t! Choose someone else, if that’s all you want. Brittany is special to me. She came to me asking for help and I will ma
ke sure I come through for her. Now if you love her son, like I think you do, then fix it. But she will not be treated like your mother was. I won’t allow it.”
“That is not my intentions.”
“But that is what you are doing Vincent. Don’t you see that?”
I don’t answer her. I just realized that maybe they’re right. Am I doing what William did to my mom? Shit, I sit down, throwing my myself down in a chair. I can’t believe I handled all this wrong, again.
“Vincent, we need to talk.”
I’m so confused. I never planned on hurting Brittany, and it seems that’s all I ever do.
“Vincent do you hear me?”
I look up stunned. “What?”
“I said we need to talk.” She turns to Fallon and asks her to leave us for a few minutes.
Once Fallon has left, mom turns back to me, not wasting any time.
“Richard Shaw gave me a letter after our last meeting, warning me that someone was going to try to use you to get to me. I know about the men that are here, but I need you to fill me in on exactly what’s going on.”
I sit up in my chair, “No Mom, I don’t. I can take care of it. It’s my problem, not yours.”
I try to stand but she shuts me down. “Sit down, Vincent.”
When I don’t, she gives me the infamous Catherine face, letting me know I’m crossing a line with her. “I will not ask you again, son.”
I relax back in the chair, knowing she is going to make me tell her everything and I really have no option. When Catherine demands to know something, you tell, period. I start I tell her who they are and how I know them. I also tell her about the weapons and what they want from me.
“They want to speak with you to guarantee the weapons will pass inspection to be shipped. They are wanting to form a business arrangement, cutting you into the profits. According to what I know, they plan on having more shipments on a regular basis. What I can’t figure out is who they are working for. I know it can’t be Troy, who seems to have taken on the leader role. He does not have that kind of power to be able to get his hands on those kinds of weapons or the number of weapons he has. There is someone else pulling the strings.”
“He threatened you with your dreams, didn’t he?”
I look down to the ground in shame. “Yes, he claims I talk in my sleep. That’s how Brittany found out about most of my past too.”
“When you were little, you would babble in your sleep. I guess you never stopped.”
She comes around the desk turning a chair and sitting next to me. “Vincent look at me, son.”
I look at her and see a tear. Catching it, I wipe it away. “Mom, don’t cry. Not for me, not any more.”
“I just love you so much, son. The day I fell for those beautiful brown eyes is the day you became mine forever. Not his, not ever. I know we’ve talked about this before, but you never listen to me. I need you to listen now. You can’t live with this guilt anymore. You were protecting me, and yourself from him. You were taking revenge on him for hurting your mother. You never have to be sorry for that! Let it go! So you can have a life, Vincent. So you can love and have a family. You are not your father, I keep telling all you boys that. None of my sons are. You all belong to me, you are all survivors like I am. You can survive this Vincent. You have to allow yourself to forgive and forget. It’s the only way.”
“Mom, I don’t know how to.”
She grabs my face, forcing me to stay with her. “You open your heart, Vincent. You allow people to help you and you share your story with those that love you. It’s time to tell your brothers. We will all get through this together.”
“They won’t understand! Not Gabriel, he loved him.”
“Son, Gabriel loves you. He always has and always will, no matter what you did. He will understand.”
I know she’s right. No matter what I used to feel for Gabriel turning a blind eye, he is my brother. It’s time to tell them and if Gabriel can’t forgive me then so be it. It won’t change the fact that we are family.
She straightens and says, “Tonight as a family, we will discuss all that is going on. You will allow us to help you with this situation. You’re too close to it so I will take the lead.”
Hours later we gather in the living room. Mom begins to tell them our story from the beginning. From the first day of finding out about me, to how I became her adopted son. When it hits them that I am William’s son, they’re not as shocked as I thought they would be. They tell me they don’t care. That they have never thought of me as anything other than their brother anyway. But when it comes time to tell them I am the one who killed William. I take the lead.
I look at Zander and start. “You remember the night he died?”
Zander nods his head.
“I watched you leave after mom begged you not to kill him. I went back to my room and waited. I couldn’t live like that anymore. I had witnessed enough for a lifetime and my body took enough abuse from him.”
I look at my other brothers and tell them, “Zander received some of Williams abuse but not like me and mom. He hated me, and it was mutual. I can still remember sitting on the bed and thinking of my real mother, of all the times he hit her and the way he left her there to die. I’d been getting William his drugs by this time, because he couldn’t do it anymore. I kept him supplied. If he was drugged up enough, we would have an easier night. Once the decision was made, I went to him with enough heroin to kill an elephant. Mom was passed out on the floor, like I’d seen her many times before. It was time, I was tired of waiting for him to die. I had to do something. I shot him up that night.”
I look up to all of them as I tell them I killed their father. They all stand up, still not showing any reactions.
“After I shot him up, I reloaded the syringe and shot myself up; overdosing us both. I couldn’t go on anymore, I just couldn’t. But, I refused to die and leave him here with mom. He had to die with me. When mom woke up, she told me it wasn’t too late, that he was still breathing. With everything I had left in me, I crawled over and climbed on top of him and strangled him. Mom tried to stop me, but I wouldn’t, couldn’t let go. The son of a bitch had to die before I did.”
I look down at my hands and tell them, “I killed him. I’m the one who killed our father.”
I look back up to them. “I was supposed to die too. I should have, but mom wouldn’t let me. I woke up several times with her and Theo forcing me to vomit.”
Liam says, “Theo?”
“Yes, no one was home that night and I knew she would need help with William. I called Theo before I went into the room. I didn’t know at the time, about their relationship. I just knew that we all respected him, and he would help mom. It wasn’t long after, that I learned though. Theo was the one who brought me to rehab and would visit, regularly. He told me how much he loved her, so I told him what I did. He’s the one that helped me convince mom to sign me into the Marine Corps. I couldn’t be home, I couldn’t face any of you. I was ready for it to all be over. I thought if I went to war, I would at least be doing something honorable even if it meant I would only come back home in a box.”
I stand and walk to the fireplace. “These men that are here, know what I did. They know everything, and they are using it against me to get to mom.” I continue to tell them about my dreams and what they are expecting. Halfway through it Gabriel walks out to the veranda.
Zander stops me and says, “You never had to keep any of it a secret. I personally wish I was the one who killed him. As far as you being my brother, you always have been. Nothing changes.” He gives me a tight bear hug and slaps my back. Liam then walks up.
“I don’t remember much about him, other than him being an asshole so I say you did us a favor.” He too hugs me, but Gabriel is still outside. Mom waves her hand gesturing for me to go talk to him, so I do.
“Gabriel.”
He doesn’t move, he just stands there looking at the moon with his hands in his pockets. I walk up to
him and stand beside him. We stand there in silence for what feels like forever. I’m about to say something when Gabriel starts,
“You know, I wondered about you. I always found it funny that you showed up out of the blue with no explanation. I’m not stupid Vin, you look like him.”
“So do you.”
“Yeah well, we both do.”
“Gabriel, how do you feel about what I said in there?”
“I don’t know.” Gabriel looks down at the ground and then tells me, “Since we’re being honest, I have to admit, I knew something was going on. I didn’t know all or how bad because I chose to turn a blind eye. I loved the fact that I was his favorite when we were growing up. I’m sorry for that.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Gabriel. I think we all would have been happy to be in your shoes for a day.”
“But none of you were. That’s why you hated me when we were younger, isn’t it?”
“I didn’t hate you. I was jealous. He boasted on you when he punished me for being born. As we grew, I felt sorry for you.”
“Sorry? Why?”
“Because you were living a lie. You were sold a bill of goods. I knew he couldn’t keep it up forever and when he couldn’t, you would miss the man and father you always thought he was. Zander and I, even Liam, wouldn’t have that loss.”
I move around him to sit. “Gabriel, I never meant to hurt you. But I couldn’t let him go on. He killed my mother and he would have killed yours in time.”
He turns and looks at me. “Vin, I…I don’t hate you brother. I’m sorry that I didn’t kill him myself. I’m sorry that I allowed you and Zander to carry that burden with you. I’m the oldest and I refused to see, no, I refused to believe what was going on under my nose because that meant I would’ve had to make that choice. I’m the one that’s sorry. I should have been the brother you needed me to be. I need you to forgive me, for failing to protect you all.”
I stand up and try to pass him. Men like us don’t need to go in too deep on our feelings. We just know. But as I’m passing him he stops me by laying a hand on my shoulder.
Art of Loyalty Page 25