Kid’s not even ten cycles old, and his room has more stuff than a level 4 worker. Critock thought, looking at the amount of personal items that Kyle had. TV, video games, various unrecognizable electronics that Critock wasn’t sure even Kyle remembered what they were, he had it all. And a window outside, to boot. On his planet, this was a dream, on Earth, the average child doesn’t have half of this. He doubted that Kyle even knew how lucky he was. He glanced around and thought about the memories he was getting automatically fed to him connected from everything he was looking at. These ‘stolen memories’ of familiar family actions, or just things that he had no frame of reference for, made him uneasy, and he wondered why he was getting them. He wasn’t searching for them, Kyle was lost in his own mind somewhere, so why was he getting all of this added in to everything else that was on his mind, including having to plan for the complicated eventual arrival of Shanna? Almost as if on autopilot when he started thinking about Shanna and how he was going to approach this evening, he navigated to Kyle’s closet and began looking through it for a change of clothes. Somehow her seeing him in the same clothes that he wore to school that day just felt wrong. He didn’t stop to think about it, just found a different shirt and pant set and set upon changing into it. He had just finished getting into the white shirt and black pants, almost a suit without the jacket and extra accouterments but even he thought that might be going a bit over the top, when he decided that he needed to make sure his hair was as good as it could be. He gave no thought of why he was doing this as he crossed to the bathroom, and immediately picked up a comb and started straightening his normally messy hair. As he was doing this, Tom floated into the room, and stopped, momentarily at a loss for words.
“…What are you doing?”
Without looking at the wisp, Critock answered while continuing to comb. “Well, I wanted to make the best impression on Shanna. The better she feels about me, the better chance that she’s going to do exactly what we need her to do.”
“…Best impression? Critock, don’t you think you’re going a little overboard here? You don’t need to dress to the nines for….for a playdate?”
“It’s just a better shirt and pants, Tom, stop being dramatic.” He stopped coming for a moment, and assessed himself in the mirror. Targeting a particularly rough tuft of hair in the back, he ran the comb under the water for a moment before aggressively targeting the cowlick.
“Shirt, pants, hair, you going to put on some cologne next?”
“I don’t think he has any, but I haven’t checked yet.” Critock absent-mindedly answered, opening his mouth to assess if needed to brush his teeth. Thinking that he had better be safe lest he be sorry, he sat the comb down and prepared Kyle’s toothbrush.
“For the love of…Critock, what are you doing? This isn’t a date! We’re here to save this world and a hundred others, we’re here to stop another interstellar war, we are not here to pick up chicks!”
“You keep saying things that you know I’m already aware of, and I’ve already told you, it’s for the mission. I’m fine.” Critock brushed past the wisp, who only floated back slightly to allow him to pass.
Tom sighed, and followed him. “You’re not the one I’m worried about.”
Critock was just about to head downstairs, thinking that he might possibly still have time to pick up the house a little bit before she arrived, and stopped at the top step. “And what is that supposed to mean?”
“I mean that you, Critock, think you’re in complete control and you can handle everything. But the you that is Kyle might be working the system.”
Critock started walking down the stairs again. “I am in complete control.”
“I don’t think so. I haven’t known you personally for long, but you tell me, but when in the two thousand cycles of his life has General Critock of the Marconian Military Corps ever dressed up and combed for a woman, let alone a girl barely out of their puberty stage? Once? For Bakkara?”
Critock wheeled and advanced on Tom, only stopping when he reached the wisp. “You do not get to bring her up.”
“I’m trying to wake you up, Critock! You’re acting exactly like the teenager you’re pretending to be.” Critock angrily scoffed, and turned and moved down the stairs, with Tom following all the way. Reaching the bottom floor again, he began picking up and moving random items from one place to the next, somehow knowing exactly where their proper locations should be. Tom continued to try and get through to the stubborn Marconian. “It’s not unheard of for a joinee to still have an influence on the joiner’s mind. Especially one that is fighting the joining in the first place.”
Critock shook his head, rearranging a DVD case that had been left on the table. “I told you, he’s not an issue any more. He tried to fight me for control, I shut him down. I haven’t so much as heard a whisper from him since.”
“But he’s still there, that much is obvious. He’s still trying to wage a war against you, he’s just doing it silently. And doing a hell of a job at it. You’re getting memories that you’re not looking for? Images you can’t place? Being compelled to do things that you have no reason to do?” Critock stopped, and looked at the paper towel in his hand, and the bottle of cleaner in the other. He allowed himself to consider the possibility for a moment. He searched his mind, but again noted he couldn’t so much as hear Kyle fighting him, and any memory he cared to access was open to him.
“…How would you know anything about it. You’ve never joined.” It came out more angry than Critock had intended, but as far as he knew it was true, considering his outburst earlier.
Tom was silent for a moment, then spoke quietly. “I didn’t say I had never joined. I just asked you not to ask me about it.”
Critock turned around and stared at his partner. “So you have then. Tom, a joining would be probably the best thing that you can do right now. You could join with Shanna, and instantly have access to everything we need to get on the computer!” He felt a slight twitch when he mentioned that idea, but ignored it. “Or hell, you can go with the original plan and we can go find Phelps right now!”
“I said NO!” Tom roared, and Critock was shocked into silence. Hard breathing sounds came from the wisp, who eventually recovered. “No. Just no. You want to know why? You should. You’re going through pretty much the same thing I did.”
Critock moved to a chair, and sat down, suddenly confused and curious enough that any thoughts of cleaning or straightening up had disappeared from his mind. “Tom, I’m sorry…But please, I need to know what happened.”
Tom sighed, and floated back and forth in a pacing motion. “Fine. If you have to know. I wasn’t always in the Qua’roti council.” He stopped, trying to assemble his words further, finding it difficult to speak. “I joined the military when I was young, probably same as you. Just a greenhorn from a farm planet, you know? Wanted to make a difference to the Empire, even though I later found out that the Empire hadn’t fought any wars amounting to anything in regards to freedom and saving the universe since…well since you did what you did.” Critock put his head down, and Tom continued. “So we found out I had a particular aptitude to working with the problem children. I was a pretty good therapist, would’ve been a fine career. Instead they had me try out a new method. So I joined with them. Every person that wasn’t quite getting the military lifestyle, everyone with PTSD, everyone that made any kind of mistake I got to meet, and get to know them from the inside out.”
“…Wait…Hold on. You joined with…”
“Dozens of people. Maybe over a hundred, you lose count after a while. Most of the time it was just a quick join, get their memories, get their side of it, and jump back out. Couple of days to recover, then right back in it. It wasn’t a bad idea, to be honest. We always got the joinee’s permission, and we did help quite a few people. I think they still do it today.”
“But it is extremely harmful to join with more than one individual that often! Hell, you shouldn’t be joining with more than one per
son a cycle!” Critock furiously snapped at Tom, even though Tom was not upset at the situation, nor had he anything to do with it.
"I know the official line all too well. I know what's happened to other Marconians before. I had to do a lot of tests on my mental capacity before they would even consider me for the project. It wasn't like it was a widely done thing."
Critock got up, and paced back and forth for a moment. "They should have known better. What the hell happened to the Military since I got out of it?"
"I wouldn't be surprised if they had been experimenting with this or things like this even back when you were involved with them. I'm fine, Critock, what happened to me had nothing to do with that, really. It still seems like a pretty good idea, if not for the side effect we found out."
Critock stopped pacing. "What side effect?"
"I'm getting there, if you'll stop interrupting. I appreciate the concern, though." Tom stopped as Critock sat back down, leaning back in the chair. "Thank you. So, this went on for some time. Eventually I got a good reputation in the community, and my role expanded. They started branching out to more messed up individuals. People that had been sent through military tribunals and were in danger of getting tossed into a cobalt mine, like you almost were once." Critock nodded, and Tom started floating in a pacing motion. "So eventually, they hooked me up with this one guy. Real messed up guy, had snapped one day and killed a lot of prisoners that had surrendered after that thing in Yotop, remember that? Bad all around. He was a pretty good officer up until then and they wanted to see if he could be saved. So they hooked him up, got me in there. And he was fine! His mind wasn't messed up, he was personable. There wasn't any hints of danger or evil about him. So we had a bit of therapy. We decided to extend the joinings on a regular basis, we'd actually go out on workouts, I'd monitor him, and he and I would have pretty nice conversations within his mind.
"So one day top brass came to me and said that they wanted to give him a trial mission. They wanted me to keep control of the body and make sure his mind wasn't going to try and supercede his orders or want to go completely crazy. Not an unheard of prospect, and there were a ton of safeguards to make sure I wasn't going to end up stuck in him. So off we go, different planet that at this point I can't even remember the name of. Pretty quick mission, get in, get some intel, no one gets hurt. So off we go. Into the city. Meet with their guy, and start talking. Right away I get a real bad feeling with the guy, I don't like him at all. As we keep talking I just start raging at him. I've never been so angry at anyone, hell, I've never been that angry at anything. But at that moment, I wanted that guy dead. And I acted on it. I had a knife, and lunged across the table and put it at the guy's throat."
Critock was silent, and looked at Tom with new eyes, never thinking that his partner that seemed so against any kind of military type thinking would be involved in something like this.
"I don't know why I hesitated. It was still me in control, maybe some part of me still realized this was wrong. When I stopped, knife ready to cut, I heard laughing. I was doing exactly what that evil bastard wanted me to do without him having to say a word."
"So what you're saying is..."
"What I'm saying is that even though I had full control of mind and body that guy was still there, still able to influence me behind the scenes without me knowing it and making sure I was doing exactly what he wanted without even realizing it. I almost killed a person, Critock. I got into the part of the military I did because I didn't want to hurt anyone but I still wanted to serve the Empire.
"So I backed off, got back with my unit, and resigned. I didn't understand what had happened to me yet, this wasn't exactly on the brochure for standard joining procedure. I thought I was damaged myself, and eventually called in some favors and got joined with myself. You ever had someone join into your body, Critock?"
Critock shook his head. "No, military only required being taught on joining, not being a joinee. We got taught some defenses if someone got in our head, though."
"Makes sense. It's a rare situation. But it should be done in every branch of the Military. Hell, with what I know now, it should be taught in schools. When you're joined with, you are trapped in your own mind. You can see everything that's happening, but the invader has full control of your body and thoughts. You can talk to them, you can fight for control, but typically they're going to have the upper hand."
"I know all that."
"But what you don't know is that your minds are still linked even though you're not the one in control. If you push for something, think about something hard enough that you can't stop thinking about it, you can mold the joiner's mind into thinking something is a very good idea when in fact it is the farthest thing from it. Given enough time and familiarity, you can push someone to killing, and they'd think it's their own idea."
Critock stood up, running a hand through his hair. "So you're telling me....You think that Kyle is pushing for Shanna for me?"
"I think so. Getting all pretty for her? Making it all clean? You're acting exactly like the kid you're pretending to be. Just like I was acting like a killer once he figured out he could twist my head around. Once I figured that out, I knew I couldn't join with anyone else ever again. My very idea of myself and body were kind of shattered. What's the point of a body when someone can just come into it? But what's the point of changing a mind when it's owner can still control it? I eventually turned to the Qua'roti for answers..."
"And they led you to think that staying a soul and serving them was the best thing for you."
Tom shook. "Critock, it's not like they..."
"I know, I know, I'm not saying they brainwashed you or anything, I'm just telling you that in my experience, the Qua'roti are very good at telling you exactly what they think you should hear and making it sound like something you should do. Being a soul is a noble pursuit and I can't think of any arguments against it, and it's pretty helpful in our current state." Critock walked closer to Tom. "You might be right, Tom. Kyle might be messing with my head right now. I typically wouldn't put on clothes like this..." He picked at his shirt. "Or bother cleaning up the kid's house. But I'm still waiting on a better idea than using her. We'll never figure out this computer thing without her. Breaking in is a bad idea. Burning down the school is unacceptable. What's our other option? For all we know the kid is right and she should be involved! You think I want to get a fifteen-year-old involved in the fate of the galaxy?"
Tom was silent, and Critock softened. "I know you've been through a lot. I'm sorry for what was done, and when I get back where I'm supposed to be I'll do everything I can to put things in place where things like what you went through can't happen to anyone else. But for me to do that we have to be prepared to do things we're not happy about, and if that means I have to go along with a child's manipulations so he can eventually hook up with the girl of his dreams, then so be it. He gets his reward, we get ours, and everyone stays alive."
Tom sunk a bit, wishing he could sit down despite not having any body to do it with. "Thing is, he is a child. He doesn't understand the war we could be getting into. Once we find Pt'ron, you know he's not going to come quietly."
"I know."
"Is he prepared to put his girlfriend in the crosshairs of one of the worst criminals in the universe just for a chance to hook up with her? Me and you are used to this kind of thing, even though I don't much care for it. I know what he's done to you, and that means you know that if he somehow gets wind of this before we find him, Shanna and every human that Kyle is friends with is dead. Is he ready for that?"
Critock sighed. "Then we'll just have to make sure that she's as out of the way as possible and he doesn't get wind of anything. If he isn't prepared, if he is ignorant to that, then we'll have to be on guard to protect her too."
"This is exactly what I am talking about, Critock! We shouldn't have to protect anyone that's not ourselves! One girl, or trillions! You can be the savior of the Marconian Empire and Earth and everyt
hing else that we know about, or you can be the good guy and protect the girl, and doom the whole damn universe while you're doing it. Which do you want to be, Critock? General? Savior? Or do you want to have your name put down in history forever as someone trying to play good guy?"
Critock was silent as he again faced the repeated inquiry. He knew what he should answer, and he was just about to when a bell rang and both of them turned towards the door to see a feminine shape behind the curtain, illuminated by the light from the setting sun. Critock turned back to Tom, nodded, and moved toward the door, taking a deep breath as he did so.
Shanna Ewing had arrived.
18
Shanna knocked at the door a total of three times, both excited and a little nervous at the prospect of spending time with Kyle. Truth be told, she never thought she would find herself standing here outside his door. But she figured if she waited for him to make the first move she would be waiting a much longer time than she wanted to, and besides, she much preferred to make that move herself. Waiting and wasting time was not her style. She knocked again, a tad impatiently. It was his house, he obviously wanted her there, he should be answering as quickly as possible!
Almost as if on cue, the door opened slowly, and there he stood. He had dressed up almost as if they were going out on an actual date instead of merely hanging out at his house, albeit unsupervised. With his freshly combed hair and his smart clothes, she could not deny that she liked the look of him this way, although a little bit of unkemptness wouldn’t be unwelcome either. He paused as he took her in as much as she was taking him in, and stuttered slightly as he welcomed her.
The Joining: The Saga of the Shards Book One (The Cycle of the Shards 1) Page 21