Playing with Fire

by Debra Dixon

  “You set the house on fire,” Maggie told her coldly. “That was no accident.”

  “I thought she was dead. Don’t you think I cried myself to sleep for years knowing that she wasn’t?”

  Maggie fought tears, too—tears of frustration and rage and bitterness. “Don’t you think I cried? You knew how it ate me up inside to think that I could have killed someone. Especially Sarah. You knew, and you kept silent all these years.”

  Beau moved closer to Maggie, and said, “That kept you dependent on her.”

  “That’s not true,” Carolyn argued, crying openly now as the gun wavered and snapped back to Maggie. “Stop telling her those lies. Do you think I wanted any of this to happen? She knows what I did for her. She knows. Nobody else wanted her. No one else came to see her. No one else sent her letters. No one came to her graduations. Just me. Who do you think was her family all those years? Who do you think she counts on when things get rough?”

  Beau felt those hard truths strike home, knowing that they were tearing Maggie apart, and he couldn’t do anything to stop the hurt.

  “And Andrea,” Carolyn added, playing her trump. “My daughter loves her.”

  “Oh, my God,” Maggie whispered. “That’s why Sarah called you a whore. Webb Garner is Andrea’s father, isn’t he?”

  “But don’t you see now, Maggie?” Carolyn pleaded. “Can’t you understand? I was going to go to the police after the fire. I was going to tell them everything, but then I found out I was pregnant. I had to think about the baby. My baby.”

  Beau risked another step closer to Maggie, then said, “Is that how you bought his silence about that night? Did you make a deal?”

  “He doesn’t know about Andrea.” Carolyn’s shoulders seem to crumple as the weight of wrongs piled up. “I never used her against him or asked for anything. If he suspected, he never did anything about it. Not even when Daddy threw me out of the trailer. If you’re old enough to get pregnant, you’re old enough to fend for yourself. That’s the Poag family motto.”

  Her head came up as if to refuse any sympathy. “There was no deal. Sarah’s death was traumatic enough. I didn’t see the need to broadcast how I’d betrayed her.”

  “Especially since you killed her,” Beau told her.

  “What would you have had me do?” Carolyn said the words so quietly. “Confess? Go to jail? Give up my baby?”

  Maggie fought it, but the first twinge of compassion blunted her anger and pricked her tears. She couldn’t forgive what Carolyn had done to her, but she knew the bond between Carolyn and Andrea. She could imagine the horror of having to choose between the child you desperately wanted and clearing your conscience with confession. Carolyn’s real family would never have helped her, would never have raised her child.

  The pain and plea for understanding in Carolyn’s eyes was too much to bear. When she turned away, she sought Beau. His arms were locked, that huge gun cradled in two hands. He didn’t look at her, but Maggie had no doubt he was aware of her. Every step he took brought him closer. He was angling in front of her. She suddenly realized that Beau had made a decision. If anyone got shot, he’d take the bullet.

  “And what about when Andrea was bigger?” Carolyn continued, angry as she wiped away tears. Mascara left a wide swath of black across her cheek. “Should I have done it then? Should I have confessed and condemned her to the same system that screwed up Maggie? Or don’t you know Maggie’s secret?”

  Maggie braced herself, but Carolyn never got the chance to tell Beau anything because he stole her thunder.

  “Save your breath. Maggie played with matches—but this isn’t about her. This is about you, about fires you set. This is about now. Your daughter’s grown. You had a choice, and you sacrificed Maggie again.”

  “Andrea’s the only good thing I’ve ever had in my life,” Carolyn cried. “I couldn’t bear for her to know. Can’t you understand? I just wanted better for her, more for her than I had myself. I wanted her to go to college. How can she do that if I’m not working?” Turning to Maggie, as if she’d found an ally. “She wants to be a nurse. Did you know that?”

  Maggie shook her head, and a tear slipped out as Carolyn’s misery sneaked in. The first burst of anger and betrayal was over. The second wave of emotion was sweeping through her—the aching loss of the only family she’d ever known. She could forgive and help Carolyn, or she could hold on to the hurt and grow bitter.

  Beau knew about family, about thick and thin. About accepting all of a person—the good and the bad. So Maggie let go of the past and tried to make a future.

  “ ‘First do no harm,’ ” she said turning to Carolyn. “That’s what Andrea’s going to learn in nursing school. It’s the rule I follow every day. If you can’t make it better, don’t make it worse. You can teach her that, Carolyn. I’m begging you—” Maggie’s voice softened to a whisper, “don’t make this worse. Don’t make Andrea spend the rest of her life without a mother.”

  “She will no matter what I do. Don’t you see?” Despair owned her. “My choices are prison or dead.”

  “Only one of those is serious,” Beau said quietly. “Take it from me—dead is serious. Everything else is just a minor inconvenience.”

  “Prison? A minor inconvenience?”

  “Seven years,” he told her. “That’s all you’ll probably do.”

  “You can do seven,” Maggie told her. “We’ve both just done eighteen. What’s seven more? You’ll be out in time to rock Andrea’s babies. Give me the gun,” Maggie urged, holding out her hand. It was shaking as badly as Carolyn’s. “I’ll help. Beau’s going to help. It’s over now. We just have to deal with it. Okay?”

  Tears were flooding down her cheeks, and she could barely see Beau when he took the gun from Carolyn. Carolyn’s legs buckled, and she collapsed into the chair beside her, crumpling into a ball with her head on her knees. Sobs racked her, and all Maggie could do was rub her back and repeat that it was over. That everything would be fine. And hope to God she wasn’t lying.

  She heard Beau walk to the door and wave someone in. Russell appeared almost instantly and after a brief conversation with Beau, he came for Carolyn and helped her out of the chair.

  Maggie’s gaze flew to Beau’s.

  “Observation,” he answered. “We’re going to check her in and let the docs have a look first. I can’t take a statement with her like this. She needs some time and a lawyer. I need to talk to the prosecutor and figure out jurisdiction. Bennett’s fire is technically the only one in my authority, and she hasn’t admitted to it.”

  “Andrea!” Carolyn uttered suddenly. She tried to pull herself together, struggling for words. “Please, Maggie, you have to take care of her. You have to promise. You have to promise, okay?”

  “As long as it takes. That child is my niece. Forever. No matter what happens. She will always be loved. By both of us.”

  Carolyn nodded, shaking with relief and emotion.

  “Can I go with her?” Maggie asked.

  Beau nodded. “You go with Russell. I’ll follow.”

  Walking to the car, Maggie realized the flamboyant woman she’d known all her life had disappeared. Their roles were reversed, and suddenly Maggie was the stronger sister, the fulcrum of their family. She had to keep Carolyn focused on the future and not on the uncertainty of the next few hours.

  At the hospital doors, Beau caught up with them, holding her back. “I think it’s best if you stay here, Maggie. Let us handle it.”

  She started to protest and then realized she didn’t carry much weight at Cloister anymore. Not until Beau straightened out Bennett. Her presence might even make it worse for Carolyn. With one last squeeze of comfort, she stepped back. “Okay.”

  “You wait for me,” Beau said, sounding like a just-the-facts cop. “I’ll take you back to your car.”

  When they were gone, Maggie told herself not to worry. That Cloister psychiatric was the best; Carolyn was in good hands. In that way, she envied Carolyn a
little bit. Doctors would tell her what to do, ask her all the right questions, and make sure she didn’t have to travel the road alone.

  Maggie wasn’t so lucky. She had no idea how to fill the void in Andrea’s life, and no idea how to deal with Beau now that the crisis was over. All she knew was that she couldn’t keep running from disappointment. She couldn’t hide in her big house with all that space. Not anymore. She wasn’t that foster kid searching for an identity and a home of her own. She had those. Now, she wanted something more.

  She felt someone’s gaze on her back, like twin points of intensity. Slowly she turned. Beau stood back, giving her space she didn’t need anymore.

  “Russell’s handling the paperwork.”

  “Then it’s over?”

  Misunderstanding her, he said, “No. You’re still going to have to give a formal statement and if her attorney wants trials instead of plea bargains, you’ll have to testify.”

  She froze, suddenly scared that she’d imagined everything about his feelings for her. That she had misinterpreted what he meant when he said he cared about her. That her heart had lied to her. “I mean is it over for me? Am I cleared?”

  “Yeah. It’s over.”

  “Then is this the part where I have to deal with you?”

  “Yeah.” Beau nodded his head slowly, his expression grim. “This is the part where you deal with me. I told you to stay in the office. Why didn’t you let me handle it?”

  “Because that’s what my mother would have done, and I figure if I make different choices, if I take the risk, then maybe I’ll end up with what I want.”

  A couple of steps separated them. Maggie took the first one, telling herself that she’d take another if she had to. “So when I have a decision I ask myself, what would Mama have done—”

  “And then you do the opposite,” Beau finished, as he took a step toward her. Beau was close enough to kiss her, but first Maggie needed to say the words. He couldn’t do it for her. He couldn’t make her sure.

  Almost afraid of the answer he asked, “What would your mother do about me?”

  “Run.” Maggie raised her eyes to his. “You’d scare the hell out of her just like you scare the hell out me.”

  He gave up resisting the urge and threaded his fingers in her hair. When she leaned into him, Beau closed his eyes and wondered if he’d remember being inside her every time she touched him. “Why do I scare you?”

  “Because you make me want forever.”

  “How is that a bad thing?” he asked. He lifted her face to his. “I love you, Maggie. That goes with forever. At least it does for me.”

  “How can you know that? How can you know something that important in such a short time?”

  Beau kissed her worry frown gently. “Because I feel it. It wasn’t something I had to learn, Maggie. It didn’t take any time. It wasn’t a set of algebra problems I had to work out.”

  “You don’t know anything about me.”

  “Sure I do. I’ve met most of your family. And that didn’t scare me off. I know how you cook, how you clean, that you like dogs and like to travel.”

  “I don’t—”

  “Trust me. You’re going to see Ireland on pennies a day and you will love it. Even if I have to put the smile on your face myself. Darlin’, it’s not where you go, but who you’re with.”

  He caught the single tear that escaped with the tip of his thumb and slid both of his hands to her face. “I know that you will bring the hospital home with you every night. That you are a pain in the butt to argue with. I know what it feels like when you’re here in my arms, and I know what it felt like when I was afraid I might lose you. I don’t need to know anything more.”

  Maggie wet her lips and tried again. “I don’t even know your whole name.”

  “Beauregard Elvis Grayson.”

  She didn’t mean to laugh, but she did. “Who in their right mind would name a child that?”

  “Mama was not in her right mind when she named me. Beauregard Elvis Grayson. My initials are B.E.G. I don’t think she was happy with my father at the time.” His eyes were warm, full of humor and inviting her to join him.

  “Beau, it’s not just me. It’s a package deal. Andrea needs me, and I’m not going to let her down.”

  “So she can’t use an uncle too? What did you think I wanted, Maggie? Just the good parts? I want you. Whatever comes with you. I will even try to love that dog. We can take it slow, Maggie. Forever implies that there is plenty of time. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I don’t want you to go anywhere. Not without me.”

  “Baby, I’m not ever going anywhere without you again. Don’t you get it yet? You own my heart.”

  “That’s only fair, I guess, since I lost mine to you. I’ve never lost it before.”

  “Don’t be scared, Maggie May,” he whispered against her lips. “I’m right here. You can always find me. We’ll take it slow. We’ll just start with a kiss. A simple kiss.”

  When he kissed her, Beau used his body to make all the promises she wasn’t ready to hear. When she answered with hers, he knew it was only a matter of time before he wore her down and put a ring on her finger. He could wait.

  Maggie loved him. That was serious. Everything else was just a minor inconvenience.

  EPILOGUE

  The living room was spotless. There wasn’t a travel magazine in sight. And still Maggie, Andrea, and even little Mary cleaned.

  Of course, Mary, being barely four and having only a vague idea of how to dust, was more hindrance than help. She had her daddy’s dark hair color and her mama’s blue eyes. Beau grinned as he watched from the doorway.

  “Whoa, darlin’,” he uttered. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen the place look this good.”

  Squealing, Mary launched herself at him, perfectly confident her daddy would catch her. So far he always had, but Beau knew the tough years were still to come.

  Andrea and Maggie turned toward him and froze as they recognized the silent woman behind him. Seven years was a long time. Less than what the D.A. had wanted, and more than enough to change any family forever. Carolyn had done her time the hard way—alone, refusing to let anyone visit. She had only the letters from Maggie and Andrea to cushion the shock of lost years. Her teenage daughter was suddenly a grown woman with a nursing degree and halfway through graduate school.

  “She doesn’t need a mother anymore,” Carolyn had whispered to Beau when he picked her up. “She’ll be ashamed of me when she sees me.”

  Beau argued with her, but she hadn’t believed him. She made him park the car by the road and slip her in the back. She didn’t want Maggie and Andrea clustered at the door staring at her with polite welcome-home-we’re-ready-to-do-our-duty smiles. She wanted to see their faces and read the unvarnished truth. So Beau played it her way.

  Now he almost wished he hadn’t. Mary was the only one who didn’t feel the tension. She snuggled against his chest and gave her aunt a shy smile.

  Andrea recovered from the shock first, launching herself at her mother in a powerful repeat of Mary’s joy. Carolyn staggered with the impact, but hugged her tight, tears spilling out of the corners of her eyes. Then Andrea gave her one last squeeze and slipped to the side, her arm still around her mother’s waist. The simple encouragement and support said more than words ever could.

  Then it was Maggie’s turn. Instead of opening her arms and rushing into a hug, she knelt down, shaking Gwen awake. The ancient wolfhound never moved much anymore. She spent her days tottering from one sleeping spot to the next, usually with Mary curled up beside her.

  “Kill,” Maggie said with a smile.

  Gwen looked puzzled for a moment and then thumped her tail as she searched frantically for Carolyn. When she found her, Gwen struggled to her feet with an excited woof.

  “She remembered,” Carolyn whispered, as the wolfhound came to her and nosed her hands looking for treats.

  “We all remembered you,” Maggie promised. “Now, fee
d that dog so I can hug you.”

  “I-I don’t have any treats.” Carolyn looked stricken.

  When Beau produced a pack of peanut butter crackers from his shirt pocket and handed them to Carolyn, Maggie fell in love with him all over again. Everything was going to be fine. She had her whole family together again. That was enough for now. That was enough for always.

  THE EDITOR’S CORNER

  Welcome to Loveswept!

  There’s no better way to kick off the summer than with sultry hot reads … which is why we’re releasing four sizzling romances in June.

  ABOUT LAST NIGHT is Ruthie Knox’s sexy and smart second eBook original for Loveswept. This rollicking story will make you laugh while tugging at your heartstrings—it’s the perfect read for when you’re relaxing under the sun. And while you’re at it, check out RIDE WITH YOU. another fantastic book from Ruthie.

  A steamy and passionate love story full of seductive promises … Gayle Kasper’s HERE COMES THE BRIDE centers around a reformed bad boy and the virtuous, blushing heroine who falls for him.

  THE WEDDING CHASE by Rebecca Kelley is a sparkling and witty story where a charming rogue’s moment of weakness leads to a dangerous liaison with an independent beauty. You won’t want to put this exhilarating read down.

  Business turns into pleasure when sparks fly between a wealthy divorcé and an intriguing interior decorator in Sally Goldenbaum’s utterly disarming story, MOONLIGHT ON MONTEREY BAY.

  If you love romance … then you’re ready to be Loveswept!

  Gina Wachtel

  Associate Publisher

  P.S. Watch for these terrific Loveswept titles coming soon: July brings

  Elisabeth Barrett’s debut e-original novel, the brilliant DEEP AUTUMN HEAT. Kristen Kyle’s incredibly appealing THE LAST WARRIOR, and Adrienne Staff’s stunning KEVIN’S STORY. And in August, we have Sally Goldenbaum’s sensual FOR MEN ONLY and Linda Cajio’s moving JUST ONE LOOK. Don’t miss any of these extraordinary reads. I promise that you’ll fall in love and treasure these stories for years to come.…