by Nora Roberts
“I dont want him to be,” Dana managed. “But if he is, Ill deal with it. Theres too much at stake for me to wimp out before I even get started.”
“Thats the spirit. Ive got to get home.”
She rose, then ran a comforting hand over Danas hair. “Whatever youre feeling or thinking, you can tell me. AndZoe . And if theres something you need to say, if you just need someone to be here when you have nothing to say, all you have to do is call.”
Dana nodded, waited until Malory was at the door. “Mal? It was like having a hole punched in my heart when he left. One hole ought to be enough for anybodys lifetime.”
“Youd think. Ill see you tomorrow.”
Chapter Three
THE odds of finding a magic key tucked in one of the thousands of books at the Pleasant Valley Library were long and daunting. But that didnt mean she couldnt look.
In any case, she liked being in the stacks, surrounded by books. She could, if she let her mind open to it, hear the words murmuring from them. All those voices from people who lived in worlds both fantastic and ordinary. She could, simply by slipping a book off the shelf, slide right into one of those worlds and become anyone who lived inside it.
Magic keys and soul-sucking sorcerers, Dana thought. Incredible as they might be, they paled for her against the power of words on a page.
But she wasnt here to play, she reminded herself as she began dutifully tidying the stacks while keeping an eye on the resource desk a few feet away. This was an experiment. Maybe she would put her fingers on a book and feel something—a tingle, a hint of heat.
Who knew? But she worked her way through the mythology stacks without experiencing any tingles.
Undaunted, she wandered to the section of books on ancient civilizations. The past, she told herself. The Daughters of Glass had sprung from the ancients. Well, who hadnt?
She worked diligently for a time, reordering books that had been misplaced. She knew better, really she did, than to actually open the volume on ancient Britain, but it was suddenly in her hand, and there was this section on stone circles that swept her onto windy moors at moonrise.
Druids and chanting, balefires and the hum that was the breath of gods.
“Oh, gee, Dana. I didnt know you were off today.” With her teeth going to auto-grind, Dana shifted her gaze from the book in her hand to Sandis overly cheerful face. “Im not off. Im working the stacks.”
“Really?” The big blue eyes widened. Long golden lashes fluttered. “It looked Like you were reading. I thought maybe you were on your own time, doing more research. Youve been doing a lot of research lately, havent you? Finally starting on your doctorate?”
With a bad-tempered little shove, Dana put the book back in place. Wouldnt it be fun? she thought, to get the big silver scissors out of the drawer in her desk and whack off that detestable bouncing ponytail?
Shed just bet that would wipe that bright, toothy grin off Sandis face.
“You got the promotion, the pay raise, so whats your problem, Sandi?”
“Problem? I dont have a problem. We all know the policy about reading on the clock. So Im sure it just looked like you were reading instead of manning the desk.”
“The desk is covered.” And when enough was enough, Dana thought, you finished it. “You spend a lot of your time worrying about what Im doing, slinking around in the stacks behind me, eavesdropping when Im speaking with a patron.”
Sandis perky smile turned into a perky sneer. “I certainly do not eavesdrop.”
“Bullshit,” Dana said in a quiet, pleasant tone that had Sandisdollbaby eyes going bright with shock. “Youve been stepping on my heels for weeks. You got the promotion, I got the cut. But youre not my supervisor, youre not my boss. So you can kiss my ass.”
Though it wasnt quite as rewarding as hacking off the ponytail might have been, it felt fabulous to just walk away, leaving Sandi sputtering.
She settled back at the desk and assisted two patrons with such good cheer and good fellowship that both left beaming. When she answered the phone, she all but sang out, “Pleasant Valley Library. Reference Desk. May I help you? Hey, Mr. Foy. Youre up, huh. Ah, uh-huh. Good one.” She chuckled as she scribbled down todays trivia question. “Itll take me a minute. Ill call you back.”
She danced off to find the right book, flipped through it briefly in the stacks, then carried it back to the desk to make the return call.
“Got it.” She trailed down the page with her finger. “The Arctic tern migrates the farthest annually. Up to twenty thousand miles—wow—between the Arctic and Antarctic. Makes you wonder whats in itsbirdy brain, doesnt it?”
She shifted the phone as she caught sight of Sandi marching, like a damn drum majorette, toward the desk. “Nope, sorry, Mr. Foy, no complete set of AmericanTourister luggage for you today. The Arctic tern nips out the long-tailedjaeger by a couple thousand miles annually. Better luck next time. Talk to you tomorrow.”
She hung up, folded her hands, then lifted her eyebrows at Sandi. “Something I can do for you?”
“Joan wants to see you upstairs.” Thrusting her chin in the air, Sandi looked down her tiny, perfect nose. “Immediately.”
“Sure.” Dana tucked her hair behind her ear as she studied Sandi. “I bet you only had one friend in elementary school, and she was just as obnoxious as you are.” She slid off the stool.
Speaking of elementary school, Dana thought as she crossed the main floor, started up the stairs to administration, she herself felt as if shed just gotten hauled into the principals office. A lowering sensation for a grown woman. And one, she decided, she was sick of experiencing.
Outside Joans door, Dana took a deep breath, squared her shoulders. She might feel like a guilty six-year-old, but she wasnt going to look like one.
She knocked, briskly, then opened the door without waiting for a response. “You wanted to see me?”
At her desk, Joan leaned back. Her salt-and-pepper ban-was pulled into in a no-nonsense bun that, oddly enough, flattered her.
She wore a dark vest over a white blouse that was primly buttoned to her throat. The material hung flat, with barely a ripple to indicate there were breasts beneath it.
Rimless half-glasses dangled from a gold chain around her neck. Dana knew her shoes would be low-heeled and sturdy and as no-nonsense as the hairstyle.
She looked, Dana decided, scrawny and dull—and the very image of the clichй that kept children out of libraries in droves.
Since Joans mouth was already set in disapproval, Dana didnt expect the meeting to be a cheerful one.
“Shut the door, please. It appears, Dana, that you continue to have difficulty adjusting to the new policies and protocol Ive implemented here.”
“So, Sandi raced right up to tattle that I was actually reading a book. Of all the horrors to commit in a public library.”
“Your combative attitude is only one of the problems we have to deal with.”
“Im not going to stand here and defend myself for skimming a couple pages of a book while I was working in the stacks. Part of my function is to be informed about books, not just to point the patrons toward an area and wish them Godspeed. I do my job, Joan, and my evaluations from the previous director were never less than exemplary.”
“Im not the previous director.”
“Damn straight. Less than six weeks after you took over, you cut my, and two other long-term employees, hours and paychecks nearly in half. And your niece gets a promotion and a raise.”
“I was hired to pull this institution out of financial decline, and thats what Im doing. Im not required to explain my administrative decisions to you.”
“No, you dont have to. I get it. You dont like me, I dont like you. But I dont have to like everyone I work with or for. I can still do my job.”
“Its your job to follow the rules.” Joan flipped open a file. “Not to make and receive personal phone calls. Not to use library equipment for personal business. Not to spend twenty minu
tes gossiping with a patron while your duties are neglected.”
“Hold it.” Baffled rage spewed into her throat like a geyser. “Just hold it one minute. Whats she doing, making daily reports on me?”
Joan flipped the file shut. “You think too much of yourself.”
“Oh, I see. Not just on me. Shes your personal mole, burrowing around the place digging up infractions.”
Oh, yes, Dana thought, when enough was enough you definitely finished it. “Maybe the budget here has had its ups and downs, but this was always a friendly place, familial. Now its just a drag run by thegestapo commandant and her personal weasel. So Ill do us both a favor. I quit.
Ive got a weeks sick leave and a weeks vacation coming. Well just consider that my two weeks notice.“
“Very well. You can have your resignation on my desk by the end of your shift.”
“Screw that. This is my resignation.” She took a deep breath. “Im smarter than you are, and Im younger, stronger, and better-looking. The regular patrons know and like me— most of them dont know you, and the ones whove gotten to know you dont like you. Those are some of the reasons youve been on my ass since you took over. Im out of here, Joan, but Im walking out of my own accord. I lay odds that youll be on your way out before much longer, too—only youll be booted out by the board.”
“If you expect any sort of reference or referral—”
Dana stopped at the door. “Joan, Joan, do you want to end our relationship with me telling you what you can do with your reference?”
Her anger carried her straight down to the employee lounge, where she gathered her jacket and a handful of personal belongings. She didnt stop to speak to any of her coworkers. If she didnt get out, and get out fast, she feared she would either burst into hysterical sobs or punch her fist through the wall.
Either option would give Joan too much power.
So she walked out without a backward glance. And kept walking. She refused to let herself think that this was the last time she would make this trip from work to home. ,It wasnt the end of her life; it was just a corner turned.
When she felt the angry tears stinging her eyes, she dug out her sunglasses. She wasnt about to humiliate herself by crying on the damn sidewalk.
But her breath was hitching by the time she reached her apartment door. She fumbled out her keys, stumbled inside, then simply sank down on the floor.
“Oh, God, oh, God, what have I done?”
Shed cut her ties. She had no job. And it would be weeks before she could reasonably open the bookstore. And why did she think she could run a bookstore? Knowing and loving books didnt make her a merchant. Shed never worked in retail in her life, and suddenly she was going to run a retail business?
Shed thought she was prepared for the step. Now, faced with stark reality, Dana realized she wasnt even close to prepared.
Panicked, she leaped up, all but fell onto the phone. “Zoe?Zoe … I just—Ive got to… Christ. Can you meet me at the place, the house?”
“Okay. Dana, whats wrong? Whats the matter?” “I just—I quit my job. I think Im having an anxiety attack. I need… Can you get the keys? Can you get Malory and meet me there?”
“All right, honey. Take a deep breath. Come on, suck one in. Breathe easy. Thats it. Twenty minutes. Well be there in twenty minutes.”
“Thanks. Okay, thanks.Zoe —”
“You just keep breathing. Want me to swing by and get you?”
“No.” She rubbed the temper tears away. “No, Ill meet you.”
“Twenty minutes,”Zoe repeated and rang off.
* * *
SHE was calmer, at least on the surface, when she pulled into the double drive in front of the pretty frame house shed bought with her friends. In a matter of weeks, theyd be signing papers at settlement. Then they would begin, well, whatever it was that they were going to begin.
It wasZoe and Malory who had the big ideas as far as ambience, color schemes, paints, and posies. Theyd already had their heads together over paint chips for the color of the porch, the entrance hall. And she knewZoe had been scouring flea markets and yard sales for the trash that she miraculously turned into treasure.
It wasnt that she didnt have ideas herself. She did.
She could envision in general how her section of the main floor would look when it had been transformed into a little bookstore/cafe. Comfortable and cozy. Maybe some good sink-into-me chairs, a few tables.
But she couldnt see the details. What should the chairs look like? What kind of tables should she use?
And there were dozens of other things she hadnt considered when shed jumped into that dream of having her own bookstore. Just as, she was forced to admit, there were things she hadnt considered when shed, basically, told Joan to stuff it.
Impulse, pride, and temper, she thought with a sigh. A dangerous combination. Now she was going to have to live with the results of surrendering to it.
She stepped but of the car. Her stomach was still jumpy, so she rubbed a hand over it as she studied the house.
It was a good place. It was important to remember that. Shed liked it the minute shed stepped inside the door withZoe . Even the downright terrifying experience theyd had inside it— courtesy of their nemesis, Kane—barely a week before, when Malory had found her key, didnt spoil the feel of the place.
Shed never owned a house, or any other property. She should concentrate on the very adult sensation of owning a third of an actual building, and the land it stood on. She wasnt afraid of the responsibility—it was good to know that. She wasnt afraid of work, mental or physical.
But she was, she realized, very afraid of failing.
She walked to the porch, sat on the step, and indulged in a good wallow.
She was too mired in it to do more than sit there when Malory pulled up withZoe in the passenger seat. Malory angled her head as she climbed out.
“Crappy day, huh?”
“Dont come much crappier. Thanks for coming. Really.”
“We did better than that.” She gestured towardZoe , and the white bakery boxZoe carried.
Overcome, Dana sniffed. “Is it chocolate?”
“Were girls, arent we?” Sitting beside her,Zoe gave her a hard, one-armed hug, then opened the box. “Chocolate . A big fat one for each of us.”
This time, it was sentimental tears threatening to fall. “You guys are the best.”
“Take a few bites, wait for the kick, then tell us about it.“ Malory sat on the other side, handed out napkins.
Dana soothed herself with chocolate, pastry, and cream, and-the story tumbled out between bites.
“She wanted me to quit.” Scowling, she flicked her tongue at the corner of her mouth and licked off a bit of Bavarian cream. “It was some visceral animosity going on between us the minute we laid eyes on each other. Like, Idunno , maybe we were mortal enemies in a past life. Or, Jesus, married or something. Its not just that she ran the library like it was boot camp—thats bad enough—but she had it in for me, personally. And so did her little yappy dog, Sandi.”
“I know its tough, Dana. Boy, do I.” Malory rubbed a sympathetic hand over Danas shoulder. “But you were planning to resign in a few weeks anyway.”
“I know, I know. But I wanted to sort of ease out. Cop the little going-away party with the staff, so it all ended on a high note. And the fact is, even with the pay cut, the salary did come in handy. More than. I couldve used the extra paychecks before I walked.”
“Telling her to cram it should be worth the paychecks. Shes a bitch and we hate her,”Zoe said loyally. “And when Indulgence is up and running, and the bookstores the talk of the Valley, shell stew in her own envious juices.”
Considering, Dana pursed her lips. “Thats a good one. I just panicked, I guess. Ive always worked in a library. High school library, college library, then this one. And it suddenly hit me that thats done, and Im going to be the owner of a retail business.”
She rubbed her damp hands on her knees.
“I dont even know how to work a cash register.”
“Ill teach you,”Zoe promised. “Were in this together.”
“I dont want to mess it up. I dont want to mess up the key deal either. Its just that all this hit me at once.”
Malory offered Dana the last third of her 6clair. “Have a little more sugar. Then well go in and start making some serious plans.”
“Ive got two hours before I have to be home,”Zoe told her. “When we picked up the keys, I asked the real estate agent. She said we could start on some of the basic cosmetic work if we want to risk the time and money. We could paint the porch, say, unless were worried the deal wont go through.”
Dana polished off the . “Okay. Okay,” she said with more enthusiasm. “Lets go in and look at paint chips.”
* * *
AFTER some debate, they settled on a deep ocean blue. The color, they agreed, would make the house stand out among its neighbors and would add a touch of class.
Since they were in the mode, they headed back to the kitchen to talk about decor and space.
“Nothing too country,”Zoe decided as she tapped her fingers on her hips. “We want it comfortable and homey, but, well, indulgent, right? So it shouldnt be sleek or anything, but it shouldnt be homespun either.”
“Your upscale country kitchen.” Nodding, Malory turned in a circle, trying to envision it. “Maybe thatminty green for the walls. Nice, friendly color. A creamy white for the cabinets. Dana, youll be using this space the most.”
“Thats okay, keep going.” She waved them on. “You guys are better at this than I am.”
“Well, what if we had the counters done in rose? Not pink, but stronger, then we punch things up with art. That would flow in from the gallery section. Then wed set up some of the sidelinesZoes talked about having up in the salon. The aromatherapy products, candles. And we do something like Danas got in the kitchen in her apartment.”
“We fill it with junk food?”
Malory glanced at Dana and laughed. “No. Books. We do like a bakers rack or kitchen over there, and we put out books and some of the craft pieces from my gallery, some of the products from the salon. Fancy hand creams and soaps. It unifies this communal space.”