by Mona Shroff
She grinned. “At least let me take off my coat.” As she unwrapped her coat and scarf and gloves, Daniel tossed all of it onto the sofa and gathered her in his arms again. He would never be able to have enough of her.
“Aren’t you going to show me your place?”
He pulled back from her. “Of course.” He pressed his mouth against hers, walking backward as he kissed her. “Let’s start with the bedroom.”
* * *
“SOMETHING SMELLS AMAZING.” Annika stretched the length of the bed and entwined one of her legs with his.
“Well, I cooked for you.”
“Perfect, because I’ve built up quite the appetite.” She tried to get out of bed, but Daniel was too quick and had her wrapped in his arms before she even sat up.
“In a minute.” Daniel’s voice was husky as he kissed her neck.
Annika moaned in pleasure. “We may need more than a minute.”
He was still trailing kisses over her when the phone rang. It was his landline, so they both ignored it. It went to voice mail. Daniel froze at the sound of the voice.
“Hi, Daniel. This is Gus from...well, you know where from. Uh, listen, I’m kind of hoping you’ve changed your mind about things since the last time we talked... Anyway, I’m calling because there’s a gun-control rally coming up, and we could really use your voice. I know you had said you weren’t interested, but it’s been a year since the last one. I spoke last time, and it made an impact. We need to hear from parents and survivors of gunshot victims... We need to make sure no other parent goes through this again. Anyway. You know how to reach me.”
Daniel pulled back and sat up. What the fuck was Gus doing, calling him after all this time?
Annika sat up and looked at him. “Is Gus...?”
“Yes. He lost his son the same day as...” Daniel swung his legs to the floor, away from Annika. “He’s become an activist. Gun control.” He let his voice turn bitter, as it did every time he thought of Gus. “As if gun control now will bring our children back to us. Or make our grief go away.”
“People grieve differently.”
“Well, Gus should keep his grieving to himself. What difference does it make to legislators or anyone else if I get up and pour my heart out over losing... What difference?” He stood, pulling on his pants. Annika watched him from the bed, a sheet covering her.
“Well, you never know...”
“One thing I do know is what happens when you do stand up.” Memories he had quite successfully suppressed—until now—flooded his mind. His heart beat rapidly and he started to sweat.
Annika moved closer to the edge of the bed where he stood. “What happened, Daniel?” Her voice was calm, but her eyes shone with concern.
“About a year after the incident, Gus and I, we spoke out. Did a few interviews, called for gun control. We called for waiting periods, background checks. We also called for better mental health care.” He swallowed at the memory. “I was still drinking, but telling the story, speaking out and trying to change things, made me feel like I was doing something.” There had been a light, showing him a path out of grief. It was only a pinprick of light, but it was something.
“Then Sheila got a call.” He fisted his hands. “Some asshole had the balls to call our home and accuse us—” A lump of anger in his throat stopped him.
“Accused you? What could someone possibly accuse you of?”
Daniel found his voice, though it burned with anger. “They accused us of making the whole thing up just so we could come out against guns.”
When Sheila, shaking from head to toe, had told him, he’d punched a hole in the kitchen wall. Sheila had taken to her bed again, and whatever small pinprick of light Daniel had seen was snuffed away, his world even darker, if possible, than before.
“They what?” Annika nearly shrieked. “Daniel, that’s unforgivable. What did you do?”
He shrugged and flexed his fingers as if he could still feel the bruising from punching that wall. “What could I do? I stopped. I stopped everything. I went to work, tried to take care of Sheila.”
Annika laid her hand on his chest. “I’m so sorry.”
His heart calmed at her touch, and he sat down on the edge of the bed. “I just couldn’t risk it again.”
Annika wrapped her arms around him from behind and held him, and gratefully, he sank into her embrace, taking whatever she had to give. And what she had to give was everything. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so loved.
When they finally got out of bed, Daniel poured them each a glass of wine and set about making final prep for dinner. “So.”
“So what?” Annika wandered around his small living room area, looking at photos and such. Daniel suddenly wished he had more than textbooks and a few family photos out to show for his life.
She was dressed simply, and she looked tantalizing. She’d had on her own blouse, but when she dressed, she’d grabbed his shirt before he had and put it on. It was sexier than hell, but his focus was shot.
“How was the meeting?”
She walked back to the kitchen, which was tiny, but it had a small breakfast bar open to the living area. She sat on a stool and sipped her wine.
“I mentioned to Mitch’s mother that I thought he was suffering from what is known as selective mutism. It’s a form of anxiety. Children are fine talking at home with their families where they feel safe, but once they get outside of their comfort zone, they freeze.”
“Only the mother? The dad didn’t come?”
Annika shook her head.
Daniel sighed, disgusted. “Un-fucking-believable. What kind of father can’t even come to listen to you help his son?”
“Daniel. Not the point. The mom came, and at first she was reluctant to believe me, but I think I offered enough information for her to at least get him evaluated.”
“Hmm.” Daniel put aside his disdain for the father and clinked his glass with hers, his grin proud. “Nicely done.”
Annika beamed. “You okay with that wine?”
Daniel nodded. “Just the one glass.”
Annika hopped off the stool and went back to exploring Daniel’s bookshelves. Daniel put the finishing touches on the salad while the chicken cooked.
“Oh! What’s this?”
“What’s wh—” Daniel froze as he looked at what Annika was holding up. She was holding one of his textbooks—and a small red paper heart. He felt the blood drain from his head and leaned against the counter. Annika was by his side in an instant.
“Daniel?”
Daniel hung his head for a moment to gather himself. Tears burned in his eyes when he finally looked up at her. “Well... Sara. Sara would cut out and leave those hearts everywhere.” He shook his head.
“Why?”
“She said it was so that whenever anyone found them...” He paused and swallowed, unable to unglue his eyes from the small piece of paper that his daughter had actually touched. “They would know that they were loved.” He cleared his throat and forced himself to look away from that little heart.
Annika broke out into a grin even as a tear rolled down her cheek. “What a lovely thought. She was amazing, your Sara.”
“That she was.” Daniel squeezed his eyes shut to stem the tears before turning his gaze to Annika again. “Where did you find that?”
“In one of your textbooks.” She handed him the heart. “Guess she knew you’d need love someday.”
Daniel took the small heart from Annika, his hand shaking. “Put it back in the book.” He handed it back to her.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I mean, I know it’s there, whenever I want it.”
Annika did as he asked, then sipped her wine. “Want to tell me about her?”
It had been so long since he’d talked about Sara to anyone. He relived the memories on his own, afra
id of forgetting even the smallest detail. Lest he forget her altogether.
Annika looked on, her eyes wide-open, her face patient and loving. “Maybe start slow, like what her favorite toy was?”
Daniel grinned. “She loved puzzles. She could knock them out like that.” He snapped his fingers. “I was constantly trying to find new ones for her.”
Annika grinned, clearly impressed. Though whether with him or with Sara, he couldn’t tell. It didn’t matter. “She loved doing crafts, too.” He laughed. “I learned a lot about stringing beads, painting and decoupage. More than I ever thought I’d want to know.”
The timer went off for the chicken, and he stood to fill their plates.
“Ooh! You know what decoupage is?” She bit her bottom lip, a glint in her eye. “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any sexier.”
He could have said the same about her.
“Okay. So what were her quirks?”
Daniel thought about that as he placed their plates on the table and sat down next to her. “Nothing on her plate was allowed to touch.”
Annika laughed. “Oh boy, that makes Indian food tough.”
Daniel shook his head. “Tell me about it.”
She took her first bite of the dinner he had made them. “Ooh. Wow. This is really good.”
“You sound surprised.”
She bit her bottom lip again, and Daniel barely suppressed a groan as he ran his tongue over the area of his lip she had bitten.
“I don’t mean to. I’m simply impressed.” As if she knew what he was feeling, mischief filled her eyes, and she released her lip into a small pout. “Very impressed.”
“Sara was learning to cook a bit. She was my helper.”
Annika nodded as she finished chewing. “She sounds completely amazing. And clearly you make a great dad. Decoupage is messy and time-consuming.”
Daniel nodded. Sure, he’d make a great dad. He ignored the pit forming in his stomach and started eating. Under Annika’s gentle prodding, he continued to share tidbits of Sara’s life, sometimes remembering a small detail he had forgotten, at which point Annika would prod him to remember more.
She laughed with him.
She cried with him.
Just when he didn’t think he could love this woman any more, he did.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
ANNIKA
ANNIKA WOKE TO the buzzing of her phone. She lunged at it, thinking it might be Daniel stopping by after his overnight shift, and all different parts of her body came suddenly alive with the anticipation of seeing him. Not the least of which was the rapid firing of her heart.
A pit formed in her belly when she saw it was her father. Ugh. She hadn’t really spoken to her parents since she’d hung up on her dad. But there was no point to putting it off.
“Hi, Papa.” She put the phone to her ear and lay back in her bed.
“Annika.” He spoke her name with the same clipped tone he had used when she was a child and had broken one of the strict rules he’d had for her. The pit in her stomach grew. “Your mother and I are on our way. We need to talk to you.”
Annika bolted up in her bed. This was new. They had always invited her to come home when they wanted to “talk.” She took a moment to be grateful that Daniel had not spent the night. She glanced at the clock. Five after eight. Her parents would be here in half an hour. She quickly freshened up in the bathroom, being careful to put away Daniel’s toothbrush. Oh, crap. What else of his was still here? She glanced around her small bedroom. Blue T-shirt thrown on the chair. Definitely a man’s. She shoved it into a drawer. She pulled on leggings and a sweatshirt and gathered her hair into a ponytail. She spent the next fifteen minutes tidying up and hiding any piece of Daniel evidence she could find.
Defiance or no, she just wasn’t ready to tell them about him yet.
Coward.
At the last minute, she knocked on Naya’s door. Better make sure Ravi hadn’t slept over.
“Mmm?” came the groan from the depths of Naya’s room.
“My parents will be here in ten minutes. You don’t have any company, do you?” Annika heard the sound of rustling and footsteps and Naya opened the door, looking every bit the hungover party girl, with tousled hair, black smears under her puffy eyes.
“What happened to you? I thought you had a quiet night in with Ravi last night?”
“In, yes. Quiet, not so much. His parents don’t like me.” Tears welled in her already red-rimmed swollen eyes.
“That’s ridiculous! His parents helped set you up.”
“They found out I want to join the Peace Corps when I graduate.”
“So?”
“That’s not what they expected from their daughter-in-law.” Her eyes became alert for a nanosecond. “Wait, did you say your parents were coming? Here?”
Annika had momentarily forgotten her immediate freak-out, but now the panic returned. “My dad knows I flubbed parent visitation a few days ago.” She stared at Naya. “They’re coming to try to get me to go back to med school. I know it. And they’re probably going to insist I date Sajan.”
Naya rolled her eyes. “It’s like your parents never learn.” She shook her head.
“Wait, what do you mean?”
Naya’s eyes widened. “Nothing. I mean nothing.”
Annika narrowed her eyes. “Spit it out, Naya.”
Just then, the buzzer sounded. Both girls started at it. Annika pointed at her cousin. “Well?”
“Later! Take care of this first.” Naya nearly pushed Annika toward the buzzer before retreating to her room.
With a final glare at Naya’s door, Annika hit the intercom button. “Hello?”
“We are here.” Her father’s voice was terse and to the point.
“Okay.” Annika clicked the door open for them and turned on her Keurig. She placed a pot of water on the stove for her parents’ chai. She had no idea what Naya was talking about, and right now, she was sure her parents were going to use her failure as a teacher to get her to agree to get together with Sajan. He was a nice enough guy, handsome, funny, but the thought of not being with Daniel nauseated her. Annika was so lost in thought she didn’t hear the knocking at her door until her father’s voice boomed from the other side.
“Hello? Annika?”
She started again and went to open the door, butterflies taking up all the space in her empty belly.
“Papa, Mummy.” She smiled and hugged them as they came in. “I just put pani on for your chai.”
“What about you?” her mother asked.
“I’m making my coffee.”
Her mother carried a brown grocery bag that Annika knew was filled with homemade food. “I brought some tepla. Go ahead and take it out. We’ll have some with chai.”
Her father had not really said anything. He looked around, and Annika went to tend to the chai for something to do. She added the chai masala and the loose tea to the heating water. She peeked in the bag, and right on top was some fresh mint from her parents’ plant. She took a few leaves and tossed them into the tea. While she waited for it to boil, she put a K-Cup into her Keurig, shut it with a satisfying snap and waited for her coffee to brew. A little voice in her head reminded her that there was bourbon somewhere here, and that she might want some in her coffee right about now.
“Where is Naya?” her father asked, looking around as if Naya might materialize from thin air.
“Sleeping.” The chai mixture had come to a boil, filling the apartment with the comforting aroma of cardamom, cinnamon and mint. She inhaled the scents of her childhood, allowing herself a brief moment of calm. Her coffee slurped as the mug filled, and she gladly turned her attention back to adding milk to the chai, and creamer to her coffee. Her mother had busied herself with taking out the homemade spicy flatbread she had brought along to have with the te
a. She set the small table while Annika finished making the chai and brought the three steaming mugs of hot liquid to the table. Whatever her parents had come over to say, they didn’t seem to be in a great hurry.
The three of them sat down together, and Annika took a much-needed first sip of her coffee and relished the warmth and sweetness of the liquid. She smiled to herself. Daniel had found it rather amusing that she valued coffee even more than food.
“Why are you smiling?”
She flinched again, as if her father could read her thoughts. “Coffee, Papa. You know how I love coffee.”
Her father sipped his chai and broke off a piece of tepla. He chewed and swallowed before turning to her. “Your mother and I have been thinking that you have been teaching for a couple of years, and that is great.” He said great like it wasn’t really. “But now we think you should consider a career in which you can make a proper living.”
“Is this because of what you saw at school the other day?”
“Annika—”
“Because that is part of my job. Dealing with children and their parents. It’s what I’m trained to do. Sometimes we have bad days.”
“That is fine. But you need to make some solid decisions about your future. I’m sure Hopkins will readmit you and—” he paused “—we have spoken with Sajan’s parents, and I think Sajan is still interested.”
“You what?” Annika slammed down her precious elixir, nearly spilling it in her complete surprise. “You talked to Sajan’s parents? What am I? Twenty-one years old, fifty years ago?”
“We didn’t think you would mind. You seem to like him,” her mother chimed in.
“Sure, he’s a nice guy, but that doesn’t mean I want to marry him.”
“Why not? Love can grow, just as it did for me and your mother.” Her father shifted so he faced her. “And besides, we let you try it your way—and it didn’t work out.”
Did everyone need to remind her what a poor choice Steven had been? Didn’t people get to make mistakes?
“I’m not going to medical school.” She sat up and pressed her lips together. “I’m not marrying Sajan.” She was with Daniel. It was about time they knew. “Listen, I have to tell you something.”