by Crymsyn Hart
“Does it have something to do with what you said yesterday? About not doing this over again? What were you talking about when you pulled away from me?”
Illiana stared up at the sky and studied the stars. The light of the quarter moon shone down on her. Were the wolves out hunting? Or were ravens celebrating something? A cold wind sliced through the air, signaling it would snow sometime soon. Once it did, it would trap them in the village. Now she had to deal with Ohanzee and answer his questions.
“It has everything to do with that. It’s the reason why Belik hit you last night. It’s why I left the flock. The other man I was mated with had to choose between being the alpha of his pack or being a mate with me and Belik. For six months, we were happy until his father was killed by the pack. In order for him to take the place he had been groomed for, he had to give me up.”
“And you let him? How could he leave you behind or push you aside when he should have realized that you are the most perfect thing . . . the most wonderful thing in the world and he never should have let you go. I never would have . . . ” he trailed off, and she figured that he had said too much.
Illiana shook her head. “It’s easier said than done. I had to let him go because I was not going to be the one that held him back. He had to be with his pack. I wasn’t going to make him choose between his life and me. He would have been shunned, or worse, and I could not have that. So I left.”
“And it tore your heart apart doing it. That is what I can see. Part of you is dead inside. I can see there is a hollowness inside of you that shines through even if you try to hide it. I understand now why you won’t open yourself up to me.”
“Is that all you see when you look at me?” Illiana asked.
“Of course not. I see a strong woman who has been through a lot. I see a mysterious woman who is in love with a man, but might yet have room in her heart for someone who would treat her right.”
She took in his words, but it was what was unspoken that she heard. He loved her. He wanted to be with her. Was there space in her heart for another man? “Ohanzee, I appreciate that you have an interest in me, but I-I’m happy with Belik.”
He trailed his fingers down her cheek. A shiver ran through her. His touch was soft, and the longer she stared into his dark eyes, the more she felt herself melting inside. Illiana touched a lock of his soft hair and placed her hand over his heart. Ohanzee remained perfectly still, but she saw the wanting in his eyes. Conflict bloomed within her. No matter how much she tried to say she did not feel something for him, she did. How could it work between them? Belik’s image flashed in her mind, and her love for him spread through her. Could he share her with another man? Was it possible to allow another man into her heart and into her bed? Ohanzee took her hand from his chest and brought it to his lips.
He kissed the inside of her palm, which sent her heart racing. She cupped his cheek and saw the light of hope in his eyes. “And yet you hesitate when you say that? I see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice. And you’re here with me. This time letting me touch you. I would say there is hope for me there. Give me a chance,” he implored her.
Ohanzee moved his fingers underneath her chin and eased her closer. Part of her said she should be fighting this, and the part that Christopher had occupied found his attention to be welcomed. Illiana stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his. He stiffened but returned the kiss gently as though it was their first.
“Are we going to see if you can control the earth as well?”
Ranolo’s voice caught Illiana off-guard, and she pulled away from Ohanzee. She wiped the tears from her eyes and gathered her frayed emotions. She would have to tell Belik what happened between them, that it was true she had some kind of feelings for this other man. Illiana glanced at Ohanzee and followed her father back into the house. He had cleared the chairs away, and the fire crackled in the hearth. A chill settled in her bones that she needed to chase away, so she warmed her hands by the blaze. The different spirits of the fire called to her. Illiana closed her eyes and listened to their voices. They were singing, but she could not discern the tune. The flames danced about and awakened the wolf. Her teeth lengthened and her nails grew a little longer. Illiana inhaled. Ohanzee had a deeper scent that reminded of her freshly dug earth. And Ranolo smelled of sage and dried cedar with the musk of the wolf mixed in.
“The fire seems happy to see you, and it enhances your beauty,” Ohanzee said behind her.
She opened her eyes and looked back at him. The shadows played off his features, and it made him a little more mysterious. “So are we going to do this?”
Ranolo guided Illiana to the middle of the room and motioned for her to sit on rug he had laid out. Ohanzee sat on one next to her. She sat cross-legged, and her father sat across from her as well. “Ohanzee, now that you know Illiana’s my daughter, I need you not to mention this to the rest of the village. I’m not ready to make it public knowledge yet. So far I’ve been telling the elders that Illiana is a young priestess sent to learn from me. Do you think you can keep this quiet?”
“Of course. No one is going to talk to me anyway.”
“What about Asha?” Ranolo asked.
“I won’t say anything. I promise.”
Ranolo picked up a bowl of water next to him and placed it before Illiana. “You’ve told me that you have been working with water. Show me what you can do.”
She took a deep breath and trailed her fingers over the surface of the water. The cool liquid sent a tingle up her arm. This time she kept her eyes focused on the bowl of water and extended her mind. The surface rippled. “Are you going to cooperate with me today?”
The water giggled like a small child, and it jumped up, hitting her palm. It did not give her a straight answer, but it flashed an image in her thoughts. She saw snow and mountains as the water worked its way down from the peaks. She moved her hand over the bowl and watched the water move with her motion. It took great concentration, but she was able to hold it and pinch it upward so that the water stayed within her hand, but firmed enough that her fingers did not go through it. A bead of sweat trickled down her forehead and stung her eyes.
“Good,” Ranolo said.
At that moment, she lost her focus and the water collapsed. Illiana drew in a breath and wiped the sweat away. “Sometimes it talks to me, and sometimes I have images. But working it that way takes a lot of effort.”
Her father nodded. “Water is fluid and the most finicky of all four of the elements, but it also binds them together if you can control all four. It acts as a conductor. Let’s see if you can control the earth. Do you feel anything when you touch it?”
She sighed. “Last night with Ohanzee touching the ground, I felt something. It pulled downward, and it seemed it was suffocating me. But I pulled away from it too quickly.”
Ranolo smiled. “Good. I knew you could access water and earth. Oh, if you had grown up here, this would’ve been so much easier. If I had known about you, I swear I would’ve gotten you or had a role in your upbringing.”
Tears brimmed in her eyes at hearing the love pouring from him and his concern for her. “I appreciate it. Why can’t you show me if you have the same abilities?”
“Because if you are the key to helping Ohanzee reach into the darkness of his mind and summon the animal that lingers there, then we have to try. I’m going hunting. I need to stretch my wings before the wind starts to blow in the snow. I’ll be back.” Ranolo got up and left the hut, leaving them to get started.
“Are you okay to do this?” Ohanzee asked.
“Ever since I was a child, whenever I got emotional, there was this other side of me that lingered in the shadows, but I could never see it. It sounds like you have the same thing. I’m okay with trying to help you and you helping me with the earth. But what happened outside . . . you need to give me time to process this.”
He held up his hands, but she saw the hope in his eyes. “We can help one another, and, yes, I understand that you
will need space. I’ll leave what is between us up to you.”
Illiana nodded. “Good. Now please respect my relationship with Belik. I have to tell him about this, about what happened here. If there is something between us, then we will work it out, but Belik is my heart. Don’t expect to have me all to yourself.”
Ohanzee held out his hand. Illiana took it. “I promise. I’ll behave. I would never try to come between you.”
“Thank you.”
“Ready?”
“Yes.”
“Earth is an old element. It moves rather slowly when it wants to. Sometimes when it speaks it has a booming voice and other times it just tingles. It all depends on how you connect with the element. Reach out the way you did last night. Ask the earth if you can talk to it.”
He turned her hand over and placed it on the ground. It was cold. She concentrated on the energy that flowed beneath her skin, and it prickled the center of her palm. Illiana reached out the way she did when she spoke to the fire or the water, but she did not hear a voice.
“Hello,” she said.
Nothing answered her.
“Will you speak to me?” she asked the ground.
“Why speak to the earth when we are more interesting?” one of the fire spirits inquired of her.
She ignored it and focused back on the earth, pushing the fire away from her until all she could feel was the slight vibration running through her hand. The warmth of Ohanzee’s palm kept pulling her attention. Energy moved through her arm a little bit more and pulled her down, sucking her underneath the ground, and it helped push the force of the fire away. It almost seemed to pull the breath from her lungs. She was not going to let the energy of the earth pull her down with it and smother her. However, it fought against her and tried to gain control. Her eyes snapped open, and she wrapped her hands around her throat.
“Illiana!” Ohanzee pulled her hands away, but it felt as though her mouth was filled with dirt. She tried not to panic. “You have to break the connection. Pull on the air. Ask it to help you breathe.”
She nodded and closed her eyes, reaching to the air, and instantly the breeze blew through the small hut. It surrounded her and then it hit her chest so that it nearly knocked her to the ground. The connection to the earth was severed, and air rushed back into her lungs.
“Are you okay?” Ohanzee inquired, and she saw the concern on his face.
“I’ll be fine.”
He smiled. “If it felt like it was trying to smother you and you had the taste of dirt in your mouth, then you made a connection. It’s going to take some time. That is a good thing. The earth is similar to a stodgy old man. It’ll fight you, wrestling with you, until it thinks it can win, but once you tame it, you know it’s a powerful ally.”
“I never thought of it that way. How long will this have to go on?”
He shrugged. “Mastering the element is different with everyone. At least that was what Ranolo told me when I first went to him for training when I was a boy. Wow, you’re his daughter. I see the resemblance. And you didn’t know anything about your heritage growing up?”
“Nothing. My mother kept it from me, hoping that I’d end up just being a raven. She wanted her daughter to be normal.”
“You are far from normal. You’re amazing. Why don’t others see it? The rumors in the village are that you’re different and because Ranolo has taking such a liking to you that there must be something about you.”
She giggled. “It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of me. I wanted to know where I had come from because my mother told me nothing about my father. I grew up thinking he was dead, but my aunt wanted to tell me from the beginning that I was two-natured, and yet my mother always forbade it. So I ended up coming here. Thank you for this. How about you? How are you making contact with the darkness in your mind? I do understand what it’s like to live without another half and knowing that there should be.”
Ohanzee sighed. “All my life there has been this absence. We start shifting around eight or nine depending on maturity. I shifted only into the hawk, and no matter how hard I tried, there was nothing else. The shame remained. Then our parents died, and Asha took care of me. I’ve always had this lingering darkness, I tried to go through it, but nothing. And then I touched you. It made it less pliable. When you kissed me, I saw eyes reflecting in the shadows. I could go through the darkness, and I knew there was an animal there. I think my dreams of you were telling me that you are the key to this. You are the key to awakening the animal inside. I feel it more when you kiss me. Just like when we were outside, I felt it stirring then. It was stronger. Will you kiss me again?”
Hearing his words, it sounded like some emotional button had been pushed inside of him and that had awakened whatever other animal he had. She did not know what it was, but if she could help him, she would. That, and it was the right thing to do. How did it work with the feelings that were developing inside of her? I swear I’m going to tell this all to Belik when I get back, and I’m going to stay in his arms all night and make love to him. “I told Ranolo I would help you with this, but no more tonight. I don’t think I can handle it.”
“I promise. I thank you for all of this. I want you to have this.” He dug into his pocket and handed her something. It was smooth in her hand, but she could feel the line carved into the stone. When she held it up to the light, she saw it was the raven-wolf carving he had done. Her fingers tingled as she traced the lines of the feathers.
“I can’t take this.”
“I made it for you, anyway, even before I met you. Asha always thought that my dreams foretold that you were coming. I always thought that my dreams were just dreams and nothing more. I guess my sister was right.”
Illiana placed her hands on the sides of Ohanzee’s cheeks, feeling the warmth of his flesh and the slight stubble on his beard. She noticed there was a slight curve to his lip and an indentation that was almost a dimple in his upper left cheek when he puckered his lips. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his. This time she did not hesitate and relaxed into the kiss. He slipped his hands through her hair and pulled her close. Illiana lost her balance and fell on top of him so they both lay on the floor, but they did not break the kiss. Instead, she could feel all the contours of his hard body beneath her.
When she moved, his firm cock pressed against her thigh and she could barely ignore his full attraction to her. Ohanzee trailed his tongue along her bottom lip, and she opened her mouth in invitation, until their tongues touched. Illiana flicked hers against his as his fingers meandered lower over her nape, along the curves of her spine until they came to rest at the small of her back. She waited for them to go lower, wanted them to go lower and clutch her ass, but he did not. Then he broke the kiss. Ohanzee was as out of breath as she was.
“How was that?” she asked.
He gave her a coy smile. “I guess I got a little distracted. One more time? Please.”
The irritation grated on her nerves as she rolled her eyes. “Last time, and after that I need to go home.”
“Promise.”
Illiana sat up and adjusted her dress, feeling the heat sear her cheeks. Ohanzee caught his breath before he slid his fingers along her cheekbones. His lips touched hers in a soft kiss. He pressed his lips against hers and slid one hand along her jaw and into her nape, weaving his fingers into her hair so she felt the heat of his palm. He flicked his tongue along her bottom lip. She was losing herself once more, and she returned the kiss and touched her tongue to his. Ohanzee groaned. Illiana quaked from the kiss, and it reminded her that this was also how Belik made her feel when he kissed her. Thinking of him, the guilt of what she was doing surged forward. At that moment, she pulled away.
“Enough.”
He opened his eyes, and she saw that his dark brown eyes were ringed with amber, almost the color of a golden honey. They reminded her of Christopher’s eyes when he had the wolf in his nature. It all came rushing back. Illiana turned away and felt that sh
e was being smothered all over again.
“I felt it move. I saw a shape. I wasn’t sure what it really was, but it’s big.” Ohanzee reached for her. “You are the key to unlocking the animal. I need you in my life. Please, Illiana, let’s explore this thing between us!”
As Illiana scrambled away she saw the amber retreating as his eyes returned to the dark brown they were before. The guilt shredded her soul. How could she start to fall for another man? She had to tell Belik about what had happened. Her fingers curled over the carving Ohanzee had given her. She stood up. “I—I told you I need time. You have to give me that. But I can’t do this right now. I’m sorry.” She dropped the carving and ran out of the hut back to Belik, back to what she knew and what her heart called for, but all the while she felt her heart piecing itself back together when she thought of Ohanzee. When she burst through the door, Belik was there and he caught her. In his comforting arms, all of her fears and her doubts vanished.
Chapter Eleven
Belik focusing on weaving and tried to relax as his fingers slid over all the different threads. The snow was raging outside, coming down harder and harder, accumulating into high drifts that he was not used to. Fire warmed the space and made him a little sleepy. Illiana was in the bedroom trying to meditate on connecting with the earth. It had been two weeks since she had come back from her father’s hut panicked and in tears. She confessed what happened with Ohanzee and how she had kissed him and that she might have feelings for him. She did not know. He understood her need to help him because it sounded like he had a similar situation that she had gone through with her inner wolf. However, it did not make him happy about Ohanzee kissing her again. Just thinking about it made him furious. All he wanted to do was go to the other man and make him stay away from his mate, but that was not a good course of action. It would simply cause problems within the village. Illiana had such a kind heart that he did not want the other man taking advantage of her.