by Crymsyn Hart
Her emotions overtook her, and she knew that she would never let anything happen to him. Try as she might to push her feelings away, there was no way she could. The shifter had found a place in her heart. With that in mind, she focused on him and how he made her feel. The shadows seemed to grow larger, and the wind swept her up. Illiana drifted as though she were floating on the air, and then she landed. An animal presence surrounded her. She could smell the sharper musk of the animal.
A loud yowl echoed in her mind. She growled back at it, not intimidated. It circled her, and suddenly she found she was pinned to the ground. Illiana summoned the fire, and instantly the place was lit up around her. Then she saw Ohanzee in the same form he was locked into. This side of him seemed more feral. He ensnared her hands above her head and pressed into her.
“What are you doing here?”
“You need to let this go. You’re dying.”
“What do you care? You were the one who brought down the darkness and let me be able to turn into this—aren’t you happy?”
She stared into his knowing eyes and saw the ferocity in them. The loving carver she had let into her heart had disappeared. He was being taken over by the animal. “How could I be happy when you’re hurting? It’s wonderful you broke through the wall and discovered the other side of you. But you have to let it go.”
“Why not put me out of my misery? The tribe would be happy to see me go. You’d be happy that I’m no longer a thorn in your side.”
“No. I don’t want to see you hurting. Please let it go.” She did not want to struggle underneath him, but even in her mind, she could still feel the weight of his body. They had it good together before, in that short time together in Ranolo’s hut. She missed it. The time apart had given her time to realize how well they would work together. And this made her feel comfortable.
He leaned closer until their lips almost touched. “What happens if I let you go?”
She arched her back so that she was closer to him and pressed her lips against his. She could feel every bulge of his body and the heat of his flesh, even within her mind. The elements began to become frayed around her. The power flared through her. Ranolo said that everyone was made up of the elements. “Let me go, and I can help you.”
Ohanzee pulled away. When he did, the strands of the elements wrapped around him. Each took a limb. He groaned. “What are you doing to me?”
She went to him and took his face in her hands. He tried to touch her, but the elements prevented it, having him bound. When she touched him, she could feel the earth and the water element within him also. They fought against her. Illiana did not know what to do in order to separate him from his forms, but she had always sensed that her animal forms were tied to her elements. It all depended on which one was controlling the cat he was turning into now.
“You have to let go.”
“What can I let go of if I don’t know what to let go of?”
She leaned against him and kissed him quickly, not caring that she cut her lip on his sharpened teeth. “What element is connected to your hawk form?”
“Water,” he forced out. He closed his eyes and moaned in pain. This was tearing him apart.
If the water was associated with his hawk form, then the earth was the one that needed to be released. His affinity with the element was strong, with him using it to find stones. Maybe it was too strong, and as Ranolo said, the element was controlling him. Maybe he did not even realize it. Maybe the strength of the element had blocked out the other element. There were too many questions that she might never have the answer to. And she needed him to let go.
“Okay, so the earth is associated with the cat. I need you to release the earth. Let it go.”
“How can I do that?”
Illiana searched her thoughts. He was asking her something she did not know. And if she dared reach out to Ranolo and ask him, she was afraid that she would lose her connection to Ohanzee, and this was not something she could afford. So she did the only thing that she could think of. She wrapped her arms around him, threaded her fingers through his hair, and captured his lips one more time. This time she did not hold back with him. The elements must have released him because he raked his fingers down her back. Both hands were stubbed with claws and stung her flesh, but Illiana did not pull away from him.
“I need you,” he purred in her ear.
At that moment the fire burned along her nerves, and she wanted him, too. But she did not want him like this. Illiana wanted him in the flesh and not in this make-believe reality they had shifted into. He slipped his hand along her nape, and the other clutched the mounds of her ass. She moaned and pressed into him as he bit her bottom lip in a near-frenzy. “I need you, too.”
“Then make love to me,” he begged.
“Let go. Don’t let the earth rule you. Don’t let it get in the way any longer of what you are.” She placed her palm over his heart, feeling the pull of the earth element inside of him, fighting with her. Illiana touched upon it, and she was not going to let it win her. Ohanzee closed his eyes, and she placed small kisses along his chest. He shivered, and slowly she began to feel him returning to human form. The earth element stopped fighting her, and it receded until only her elements remained. She flicked her tongue over his skin, and it tasted like cinnamon. He moaned, and his grip on her eased, along with the frenzy. When she glanced up at him, he was completely human again. Ohanzee was out of breath. Standing next to him was a large mountain lion. She ran her fingers over its head. It nestled against her hand. The landscape around her had changed into a forest, and above it all she could see a large hawk staring down at her.
Illiana smiled at him, and the elements tugged at her. “You’ll be okay.” She kissed him once more and let the elements unravel. The world she was in slipped away, and soon she realized she could open her eyes. The danger had passed. When she opened her eyes again, she was on the floor with Ohanzee’s hand in hers. His dark eyes peered deeply into hers, and he had returned to normal.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” he replied.
“You’re okay.”
He nodded. “I am. Thanks to you.”
Illiana unwound her hand from his. She sat up and once she did, her head spun. It felt like she had been up for days with no sleep, and yet she was not sure if her mind or her body was more exhausted. Every bone in her body hurt, and when she reached out to her animals, she could only feel them faintly.
“Whoa! You need to take it easy after what you did. It will take a lot out of you.” Ranolo guided her back to the floor.
She sat back down and stared at her father. Ohanzee got up slowly and tried to help her up, but she did not take his hand. “You should get back to Belik. I’m sure he’s worried about you. I’ll take her back.”
He slipped his hand around her waist and scooped her up into his arms. Illiana rested her head against his shoulder and felt a headache starting to pound in her temples. She was weary. When Ohanzee walked out of the room, she heard Asha shrieking about how wonderful it was that her brother was fine. Asha bombarded her with questions, but she could barely form words and her brain was muddled. Outside the snow swirled and she could feel it. She could feel all the elements as she had never before. It seemed they pressed upon her mind and were rubbing her raw. Illiana tried to block it out. A cloak wrapped around her, and she was warm. Then cold snuck under the cloak that covered her face and her body. She snuggled closer to Ohanzee so the warmth of his body would keep her warm. She inhaled his scent and smelled the cinnamon she had tasted before blending with the scent of the feline.
“Shh . . . you’ll be warm again soon,” Ohanzee whispered in her ear.
There was a knock on the door. And she heard Belik’s voice. “What are you doing here?” her mate asked.
Ohanzee removed the cloak from her face, and she stared at him. “Belik.”
“What did you do to her?” he rushed toward her.
Ohanzee held her closer. “She saved
my life. I’m bringing her back to you because this is where she belongs. She needs to be where all is quiet now so she can recover. Right now she doesn’t need us fighting.”
Illiana placed her hand on his face. Sadness lingered in his eyes. “You’re better.”
He nodded. “I am because of you. Thank you, but you need to get some rest now.”
Belik scooped her up. She snuggled up to him. He was going to say something to her, but he glanced between her and Ohanzee. Instead, he hugged her closer and kissed the top of her forehead. She glanced back at the other man, and his eyes had not left her. What she had said in his mind was true. When she thought about it, it seemed she could feel Ohanzee close to her heart. It was strange to have his presence there. But now all she yearned for was to sleep in her mate’s arms until she felt whole again and not torn apart by the elements that were now raging inside of her and whipping around outside. Ohanzee touched the side of her face and smiled at her. “I’m going to stay and make sure you are okay.”
Belik started to protest, but she weakly laid her hand on his chest. He nodded, carried her into the bedroom, and placed her onto the bed. He sat down and brushed the hair from her face. She saw the concern deep within his eyes. “What happened to you? Why did he bring you back this way? Why are you letting him stay?”
“He was caught between shifts, half-animal, half-human. Ranolo couldn’t aid him. I went into his mind and helped him untwine from the animal and the human.”
“Something happened between you, didn’t it? I saw how you looked at him.”
She did not want to hurt his feelings, but was too tired to even deal with the questions. Her mind was being torn apart, and all she needed was to sleep. “All I want to do is sleep. Please stay with me. Please don’t me angry with me. Don’t be angry with him.”
“I’m not mad at you. I could never be angry with you. Get some sleep. We’ll talk about it when you wake up.”
She nodded, and he kept his arm around her, holding her tightly. Feeling him so close gave her some comfort. It was all the incentive she needed to let go of consciousness and drift off into a world where her cares did not exist.
Chapter Twelve
Illiana’s dreams were fraught with darkness and disturbing images. She dreamed that she was back in the forest, walking through the lush greenery. But her beloved trees were not filled with friendly eyes. Instead others watched her from the shadows. The flock had scattered in a panic, and some were dead. The pack was fighting for their lives against an enemy she could not see. Strange cries from birds that did not belong in the woods echoed in the canopy. High and shrill, they were ones that she had never heard among the foliage, and there was something else she could not place. The farther she walked, the more the woods changed around her until the trees were on fire. Wolves ran away from the flames, and ravens scattered while some from both the pack and the flock lay dead on the ground. The heat of the flames raged against her skin, and the smoke threatened to choke her. But she kept on until she heard the groan of a tree cracking. Illiana glanced over to it, and it was falling. Before she could get away . . .
She awoke with a start and felt strong arms around her. “Shh . . . it’s okay. You’re having a dream. We’re here.”
Illiana glanced up and saw Belik holding her—and behind him was Ohanzee. Both of them were unscathed. The carver smiled at her. “What’s going on? How long have I been asleep?” she said.
“Three days. For a while we weren’t sure if you were going to wake up at all. But your father said that after such a feat, that you would have been exhausted—both mentally and physically.” Ohanzee came and sat by the other side of the bed. He took her hand and kissed the back of it.
Belik pulled in a quick breath, and she felt him tighten his grip around her. She tried to sit up on her own and erase the nightmare from her mind, but it lingered. Instead she found that she felt rejuvenated from the long sleep. Her stomach growled, and her throat was parched. Illiana touched Ohanzee’s arm and saw his warm smile. She turned to Belik and pressed her lips to his. He returned the kiss with a pent-up passion that she was nearly overwhelmed by. He broke away and rested his forehead against hers.
“Sorry,” he murmured.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” She moved the black hair from his face and saw the longing and the questioning in his eyes. “Thank you for watching over me. Both of you.”
“You’re welcome,” the carver said.
“Would you mind getting me something to eat and some water, too? I’m famished,” she asked Ohanzee.
He nodded. “Of course. I have to check in with Asha. I’ll be right back.” He got up and left the room. She waited until she did not hear him any longer and turned to Belik so she could see what was going on with him.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I’m fine. I was just worried about you.”
“That’s not what I mean. Ohanzee was here these past three days, wasn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“And you didn’t kill one another. That is progress.”
Belik chuckled. “I wasn’t going to do that because it’s obvious you care for him. If I hurt him, that means I hurt you. Illiana, d-do you want him in our lives? And if so, does that mean you are not going to want me in your life anymore because you found someone who is like you?”
She sat up and touched his face. “No, Belik. I’m never going to give you up. You are my mate. I know I thought I wouldn’t get involved with Ohanzee, and I wasn’t planning on falling in love with him. You know who I was after we left the flock with Christopher. He’s taken the spot in my heart where Christopher occupied, picked up those scattered pieces, and helped put them back together. I love him as much as I love you. Did you talk about anything while I was asleep?”
He stared into her eyes, and she could see the fight in his dark gaze. His jaw clenched, but when she touched his shoulder, he seemed to relax some. “We talked about you. He says he loves you and wouldn’t want to come between us. But I wonder.”
“You don’t have to wonder anything. I’ve told him that I was not going to give you up. You’re part of me. I might be here among others who are like me, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to push you aide. You never have to worry about that. I just hope that you can accept him into our lives. I don’t expect it to happen overnight, but maybe you’ll be okay to getting to know him and letting me spend some alone time with him too.”
“You’re asking me if it’s okay to sleep with him?”
Illiana felt her cheeks sear. “T-that wasn’t what I was asking right away, but eventually I guess so. I want you to be okay with everything.”
“I won’t stand in the way if you love him. I know you would not be asking me this if you didn’t feel something for him.”
Illiana kissed him again, feeling the happiness move through her. At least he was willing to get to know Ohanzee and they could start integrating him into their lives. “Thank you, Belik.” She heard the door close and figured it was Ohanzee coming back with some food.
He glanced behind him and kissed her back quickly before getting up. “I’m going to go get your father so he knows that you’re okay. I’ll be back.”
Ohanzee came in and nodded at Belik as he left. Ohanzee had some bread and a bowl of some sort of stew. The aroma made her mouth water as she sat up. He sat down next to her and gave her the stew. The bowl was warm and slightly chilled at the same time from being outside. She tore into the bread and dipped it into the broth and ate some of the meaty goodness. She could taste the onion and the meat along with some grain that had been added to the rich soup. She stopped for a moment and glanced guiltily at Ohanzee.
“I’m sorry. Please tell me you’ve eaten?”
He smiled, causing that small dimple to appear again in his cheek. “I have. Don’t worry about it. I’ve eaten and made sure that Belik did, too. My sister was happy enough to feed the both of us. She normally makes enough food to supply an army. Be
sides, she was worried about you. I think because you fixed me, she’ll cook for you for the rest of the time that you stay here. If you’re going to stay here, that is.”
He looked at her expectantly, and she could see the longing in his eyes; still, the unasked questions lingered. Was she going to stay? “I’m going to stay here for as long as the village will have me. I’m not done learning from Ranolo.” She set the bowl of stew and bread down and knelt on the bed, wrapping her arms around Ohanzee’s neck, drawing him close so that she could kiss him. It was a small kiss at first, but then he leaned into her and ran his fingers down the curve of her shoulderblade, over her spine, until he pushed his tongue into her mouth. She nibbled on his bottom lip before pulling away.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine. Everything’s okay. Are you okay with everything? Do you remember?”
“I remember. I tried to shift too early, and that was the result. I guess I was excited and you hadn’t come to me after that night . . . ”
“I told you I needed some time to sort it out after I told you what happened with Christopher, this is not a rash decision I wanted to run into without thinking it through first.”
“I know. But you can’t blame me for being insecure about it.”
She smiled. “I don’t, and from what I could tell talking to Belik, you guys did not beat up on one another while I was sleeping.”
“No. We were civil, and we talked some. I told him I wanted to be a part of your lives. Sharing you isn’t exactly what I want to do, but I’m not going to push him out of your relationship. You love him and to try and tarnish that would only make you hate me.”
“I appreciate that. I hope you know I meant what I said when I was in your mind. I do love you.”
Ohanzee took her hand and placed it over his heart. “I know you do. I can feel it here, burning inside of me like the fire blazed in the hearth. I wasn’t sure when you said it while you were in my mind. But then when you were trying to help me, I felt this connection form between us and I could feel you’re here. And I knew that what you said it was true. When you didn’t wake up after the first day I thought you had gone beyond, your breathing was so shallow, but then when I thought about you, I could feel you. I’ve always felt the earth and the water elements inside of me, but when you touched me and pulled me apart, I could feel the fire, too, of your love. And I know you feel that way about Belik, too.”