by T. G. Ayer
“What?” asked Gordie, looking over at Nik. Then the guy frowned, sniffing the air slowly before looking around. “What’s that smell? I swear that’s frankincense. Is someone holding midnight prayers here or something?” Gordie shifted around in his crouch, looking over his shoulder and beyond as though expecting to spot a group of mourners all busy praying over a recently departed loved one.
Nik wasn’t sure how he was supposed to tell his friend that the goddess he was talking about was Kali, a deity the western world had criticized for centuries, whose reputation was sullied with blood and death for years. Long enough for the layman to swallow the current rhetoric without giving her history and representation sufficient consideration.
He opened his mouth to speak, and the air around him stilled, the sounds of the goddess’s clothing whispering being him.
Even before Nik looked over at his friend, he knew Gordie would be frozen in time. A part of him was grateful though another part was furious.
He sounded around, anger and impatience rising like an unchecked tide. “What do you want from me?”
Nik had considered the possibility that a spirit was using the form of the goddess as a way to get to him, possibly somehow knowing the respect he had for Mother Kali. Could you be an evil entity focused on taking advantage of Nik for some strange reason?
And why him of all people? It wasn’t as though he was religious. There was certainly no Hindu temples within the town or in any city for miles around them. His mom had always said that was the price she’d paid to get ahead in her career, often asking if Nik wanted to return to India instead of fighting against the stigmas he faced in the town and especially at school.
Even at the end of the decade, things were still complicated when it came to race relations. And Nik didn’t fit in any of the boxes. Not white enough, not black enough, not Asian enough. Tiring at times but he’d never held it against his mother simply because he wasn’t blind to how hard she worked or the struggles she herself faced.
Now, as he stared at the woman before him, he felt his fear fade away. But he clung to it, still worried that she was a bhoot here to entrance him, to lure him from his path, to twist his mind using the form of the mother goddess.
She smiled at him, sadness in her eyes. “You still doubt me, child?”
Nik hesitated, then exhaled slowly. “I’m not sure what this is. What you look like to me could simply be a way to trick me.”
“I see. You do not believe a deity would reveal themselves to you. So you are questioning what your mind and heart is telling you is true.”
Nik swallowed then gave a shrug. “How would I know if you were a demon pretending to be Mother Kali in order to gain control of me?”
She let out a soft sigh. “I suppose such a deception would be something a skilled demon or spirit would employ.” She tilted her head again as though attempting to figure out a way to convince him of the truth. Then she looked over at Gordie who was frozen in place beside Nik. “If you wish, I could release your friend and allow him to see what is happening. So you may have someone to talk things over with.”
Nik blinked at the woman. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. What if he freaks out? Or tells someone?”
She waved a hand. “That is no matter. I am well capable of ensuring your friend doesn’t remember anything that happened tonight. It’s perhaps in your best interest that I do erase his memories. If you do not believe me, I will have to allow you some time to think about it and grow more used to the idea before I have to return. Sadly, I do not have a choice in the matter. I have my instructions, and I cannot ignore them.”
“Your instructions?” Nik asked, frowning. “Who sent you here? And why?”
She smiled again, the expression still sad. “No action is undertaken without a joint decision being made.”
“A joint decision made by who?” Nik asked slowly. Her voice had remained even, and nothing in her demeanor was giving him the sense that she was lying. He found he was beginning to believe her. Or was it just that he was being fooled quite skillfully.
Something in his expression must have alerted her as to his doubts, and she sighed. “Perhaps I ought to just take you to see for yourself,” she said impatiently. “It’s becoming clear that a simple conversation isn’t going to be sufficient to have you come of your own free will.”
Nik took a step away from her, his back brushing up against the gravestone behind him. He stiffened as the energy from the stone sank into his flesh. He shrugged it off, focusing again on the woman who watched him, her expression serene despite the clear impatience in her voice.
“Where is it you want to take me?” he asked carefully, muscles already stiffening, readying himself to defend against being taken away bodily. He may just be about to be abducted by a figment of his imagination.
She took a step closer. “A place that you were meant to visit soon enough. I was asked to bring your mother with you, but I have checked in on her, and she has the life of a good man in her hands.”
“You want to take my mother as well?” Nik echoed, wondering what in the world was going on. Why would this woman want to take both him and his mother away to some mystery place she was yet to name? He cleared his throat. “Where exactly?”
She dipped her head slowly. “I have been requested to take you to Patala to the hall of the god Yama.” She paused as Nik stared at her, mouth dropping open. “But I suggested that the underworld wouldn’t be the best choice considering how little you truly know of who you are. So, Kailas is where we will go.”
“Kailas? As in Mount Kailas?” Nik asked, pointing to the sky. “Mount Kailas, abode of Lord Shiva?”
“Yes, child. I know this is a shock to you. If I had a choice, I would have suggested we wait a while. But you are required to fulfill certain actions which are part of your destiny.”
Nik’s head was getting hotter now. And the first words out of his mouth was, “I think I’d rather speak to my mother first.”
The woman’s lips formed a thin line. “I would prefer not to take her away at such a crucial moment.”
“Can’t you just freeze time or something?” Nik waved a hand in the air, face blank though his stomach was churning with nerves.
Kali shook her head slowly. “I’m afraid her absence would last longer than the maximum time allowed to pause the natural course of time.” She hesitated for a moment, then sighed. “I can try to request a few hours more. As soon as Archana is done with her surgery, I can take the two of you at the same time.”
Nik let out a soft breath, still confused by her logical argument with herself, thinking it was unlikely that an evil spirit who wished to deceive him would go through those motions as part of the deceit. His instinct was still guiding him toward believing her, believing she really was the goddess coming to him in the flesh. But his logic had something else to say, though in a voice that was slowly losing strength and volume.
He hesitated, then said, “Are you going to come back then?”
Kali nodded. “I will return when Archana arrives home tonight. Please ensure you are ready.” Then she faded away, giving a flick of her fingers as she disappeared.
A loud sniff drew Nik’s attention to Gordie, who was busy wiggling his nostrils and staring off into the distance. “Ugh. Maybe I was imagining it. I can’t smell it anymore.” He looked over and met Nik’s eyes. “Okay, so maybe let’s get out of here. I think we’ve hidden from Eric and his goons long enough. They’re long gone.” Gordie got to his feet and dusted off his ass, giving Nik an enquiring look.
Nik shook his head and nodded slowly. “Thanks for coming to help. I owe you one.”
Gordie waved a hand. “Don’t mention it. You’ve given them a good taste of what will happen if they mess with us again.” He punched Nik’s arm lightly, then set off down the hillside with a bright smile on his face.
Nik could even hear him whistling as he went. Deciding it was best not to question Gordie any further, Nik played
the game and followed his friend out of the graveyard and over the fence.
He’d driven Nik to his apartment building, and dropped him off but only after shaking his hand so hard that Nik was momentarily afraid he’d pull it right out of the socket. Gordie left Nik on the sidewalk staring after the Firebird wondering if he’d just imagined the whole thing.
Then the scent of sandalwood and frankincense wafted around him.
Right, so I didn’t imagine it.
Chapter 9
Nik was pacing the carpet in front of the television set, waiting for his mom to come home. She was pretty much on time for the end of the shift, and he heard the stairwell door squeal. He stood still as her heels tapped along the hall floor.
The moment she opened the door, she caught sight of Nik standing there, hands on his hips, stress twisting his features. He was pretty sure he looked pained, confused, and exhausted.
“Nik? Is something wrong?” she said, kicking the door shut with her foot as she dropped her keys on the hall table.
She was about to hang her purse on the hook behind the door when Nik called out, “You may want to hold onto that. We’re about to leave.”
She turned to stare at him, green eyes widening, then going narrow. Still holding onto her purse, she walked over to him and rested the back of her hand on his forehead. Nik brushed her off. “I’m not ill, Mom.”
“Then what’s wrong?” She cupped his cheek, eyes now worried as she studied his face as though his chin, nose, and cheeks would hold the reason.
Nik sighed. “I had a strange encounter today. Met an unusual lady who said she’s coming to fetch us for a visit to...someplace I never expected her to say.”
Archana frowned. “Nikhil. You are not making any sense at all.”
Nik shook his head and gave a weary smile. “I may or may not be losing my mind, Mom. If you saw what I’ve just seen….”
She huffed. “Please explain what it is you saw, my son,” she said, her voice gentle but stern and Nik knew that tone all too well. He wasn’t going to be able to avoid her questioning, and he had to wonder what the point was anyway. “Where are we meant to be going?” she asked, her smile now quirking with amusement. She was trying to lighten the mood.
Nik sighed, and the word was out before he could stop it. “Mount Kailas.”
“Oh,” she said, eyes large, fingers gripping tight to her purse. She hesitated, then looked around the room, then looked back at Nik. “Oh.”
Nik studied his mom now, suspicion rising. “Mom?” She avoided his eyes. “Mom? Why do you not sound surprised? Like you think I’m just a tiny bit nuts?” he asked, holding up two fingers to show a teeny space between his fingertips.
The look she gave him was one of guilt and weariness and relief as she just gave a shrug. “When is she coming?”
Nik swallowed hard. “I’m not sure. She said she’d wait until you were done with the surgery because the man whose life lay in your hands was a good man and that it wasn’t his fate to die today.”
Nik’s mom was just standing there in front of him, clutching her purse as though she’d been frozen by Kali.
“Mom?” he said slowly. “What have you been keeping from me? And who is Justice? She called me the son of Justice, and I don’t even want to take a guess as to who she means because that makes zero sense.”
She simply smiled. “I’m sorry, darling. For what it’s worth, it’s probably exactly what you are thinking.”
Crap.
Lord of Justice was the Lord of the Underworld. Did that make Nik the equivalent of the son of the devil? He swallowed and pushed the thoughts out of his mind. He didn’t want to have to deal with that truth right now.
He cleared his throat. “Should we be packing or something?” he asked slowly.
His mom waved her hand. “No need for that. I won’t be staying that long.” Nik stiffened, aware now that she’d spoken only of herself.
I, not we.
But before he could question her, the air beside them began to shimmer, and Nik watched his mom study the pulsing shimmer of color as she waited for the goddess to materialize. He took a moment to wonder when it was that he’d stopped doubting that she was the Mother goddess and not some wicked spirit. He couldn’t keep track of his own thoughts anymore. Maybe he really was going nuts.
And then the Goddess Kali was there, standing in Nik’s living room right beside their brand new television, eyes shining as she stared at his mom with what appeared to be a fond delight in her eyes.
Then the two women hugged each other, and Nik was sure he was going to pass out. But he didn’t pass out. The women parted, and then both looked over at him in silence. Then Kali held out her hand, and Nik found himself staring at her empty palm wondering if she was going to manifest something to give to him.
His mom clicked her tongue, and he looked up to catch the amusement in her eyes. “Hold the Mother’s hand, Nikhil,” she said slowly, as though wary and worried that he may freak and run off.
He didn’t.
Reaching out, he took the goddess’s hand and waited, hardly surprised when the room faded away and was replaced with a view of two rows of enormous marble columns that led to a dais at the other end of the hall. Nik and his mom stood at the entrance of an immense hall that exuded power.
Cream-and-white marble floors led all the way across the hall to the other end where a simple low chair sat covered in tiger’s pelt. Nik began to walk, his mother leading him by half a pace. She seemed confident, as though she’d been here before. And as he crossed the enormous hall, Nik had to wonder who this woman was who had raised him, healed his hurts and nurtured his dreams. Did he really know her at all?
At last, they came to a halt in front of the dais, the goddess Kali leaving them to stand before the dais as she went to talk to the god seated on his simple throne, both murmuring in low tones until they straightened and Kali waved Nik and his mom closer.
The god before Nik was simply impressive. But Nik couldn’t put his finger on what had the most impact on him. Was it the simple white robe and the bare feet? Or the skin tinged with only a hint of blue instead garbed as many religious paintings depicted him, armed and in a pose of fierceness?
Lord Shiva looked fatherly, gentle, and caring. Nik was both relieved and disappointed.
Chapter 10
Nik barely remembered the events that followed. The summoning of three other deities, including the one called Justice. The entire time his ears had rung with what sounded like all the bells of every temple around the world.
Lord Yama, God of Death, God of Judgement, and of Justice. The ruler of the underworld. Nik’s father.
He just couldn’t get his head around the idea. He’d entertained a moment of picturing himself dressed in a robe holding a scythe, the youngest grim reaper to ever live. And then the image swirled away to nothing and Kali was glaring at him, warning in her eyes.
The whole scene was far too unreal to Nik, and he felt as though someone had laced his food or drink, only he hadn’t eaten or drank anything. He watched in a dazed silence as the gods spoke and as his mom was summoned closer, as she embraced Lord Yama, her eyes full of love, which kinda matched the adoration in the god’s eyes.
Nik felt slightly ill and was glad he couldn’t hear what was being said. His father was a god. His father was the God of the Dead. His mother was romantically involved with the God of the Dead.
Nik’s brain felt like it had been twisted ten ways to Sunday and all he could do was blink and watch in silence, praying he wouldn’t be called upon to say anything.
In the end, he wasn’t expected to speak. Not much anyway. All he had to do in the end was say goodbye. And not to his new-found father. No, the man—God—simply looked on, aloof, distant, as Nik’s mom walked back to him, her eyes glistening with tears.
She wrapped an arm around Nik’s shoulders and drew him away, and all he could think of was her words in the living room where they’d stood beside their fancy ne
w television set.
I won’t be staying that long.
She hadn’t stayed long. She’d spoken in whispers, she’d apologized, she’d assured Nik she’d see him soon, and she’d wrangled a promise from him to give his father a chance and to not judge him too harshly.
Don’t judge the god of judgment too harshly.
Nik had found that quite hilarious.
Chapter 11
Nik’s memories of the past, of his first moments, becoming who he was today, faded away as he entered his mom’s living room. She’d grown older while he’d remained young as ever. In human years he was sixty-two years old, and his mother? Well, she was eighty after all. Coming to the end of her mortal life.
And he’d been sent to convince her to take the boon. She’d used the Amrita, the elixir of life created by the goddess Varuni, but in recent times, Nik’s mom had been more and more reluctant. And now, faced with the gift of this boon, she was actually declining?
“Why in the world would you not want to take this opportunity to spend a few more years with us?” asked Nik. His voice had risen as he’d listened to his mom’s decision against accepting the boon of long life granted to her.
Yes, for all intents and purposes, the boon itself was granted out of personal need by Yama to his wife, but the gift didn’t ignore the fact that she’d contributed on many levels, even if they were to simply acknowledge that she’d given life to Yama’s only living child.
Still, Nik’s mom didn’t acknowledge the act as anything other than a mother’s ultimate act of love.
Now his mother touched his cheek, cupping it with her soft hand. “My dear boy. I know you mean well and I understand why you would want me to accept the boon. But this isn’t the life that I wanted. I never asked for a long life, even if I did take a god as a husband. I never expected immortality to come as part of that relationship, or even as part of bearing my husband a son.”