Healers Suck!

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Healers Suck! Page 8

by Charles Andrews


  "I was looking for some training?" I said. "I leveled up while I was out in the forest, and…"

  "Of course," she said, brushing past me. “I am Sefia, and I would be happy to help in any way I can.”

  When I say she brushed past me I mean she brushed past me. Her body pressed against mine, and it was just a brief brush, but considering how long it had been that was enough to set me off.

  I found myself wondering if that altar could be used for anything more interesting than the magic that was no doubt performed as part of the day-to-day business in this place. I could think of some magic I’d like to practice by lifting up that dress and…

  Damn it. I really needed to stop thinking like this. It was driving me wild, and it was going to get me in trouble if I kept letting my in-game experience be dictated by my overwhelming desire to get my dick wet.

  That overwhelming desire meant that, once more, there was a very awkward situation that rising in my own robes. Double damn. I tried to position myself so that awkward situation wouldn't be noticeable, but from the way she turned back to me and arched an eyebrow she knew.

  It seemed like women always had a way of knowing.

  "Well are you coming or not?" she asked.

  "With the way you're looking at her I wouldn't be surprised if you were," Treanna said.

  "Quiet," I growled.

  "So sorry," she said. "Would you like me to go back to the silent routine?"

  I sighed. "No. It's better when you're talking."

  The priestess’s eyes went wide. “Were you talking to a spirit? Has one been following you?"

  I glanced at Treanna. I guess from the point of view of a nonplayer character Treanna would seem to be a magical spirit or something. I wasn't about to start explaining to this woman that I was actually talking into an artificial intelligence algorithm that had been put together to help me in the game and had apparently decided spending her time torturing me rather than waiting around for another player to come along for her to torture would be amusing.

  "Yeah," I said. "A spirit. That's what she is."

  "Smooth," Treanna said.

  "Would you shut up?"

  The priestess smiled. It was a smile that lit up her face and made her look even more beautiful than before. It was the kind of smile that made me feel slightly guilty. Like when you see a hot nun and feel bad because you know you shouldn't be thinking that sort of thing about a woman of God.

  But hey. This woman was hot, and I didn't know if she was even attached to any particular deity. Not that I felt guilty about trying to tempt her away from that attachment to a particular deity since it was the kind of thing that was probably made up by some scenario designer who was cribbing just enough from old Dungeons and Dragons modules to not get sued if they got called out on it.

  "That is a very auspicious thing for you," she said. "I expect great things."

  "Yeah," I said, rolling my eyes and looking at Treanna. "I seem to be getting that a lot these days."

  "As well you should," the priestess said.

  “Right,” I said. “So training. I need to know what I can do, and if there are any new abilities I can learn from you?"

  I could think of a couple of abilities I wouldn't mind learning from her, but right now it seemed like I should be focusing more on my class abilities and less on being so horny that I was thinking of jumping every woman I came into contact with in this game.

  I was really going to have to take care of this, and soon. I never thought that playing a game like Crystalia would be one of those situations where I shouldn't be going in with a round in the chamber, but here we were.

  The trainer beckoned me to come closer, and I figured I might as well do what she asked. Only when I moved in closer to get a better look at some of the spell tomes on offer I felt it.

  She moved her ass back against me, and when she turned she snickered ever so slightly. I felt amusement running off of her, but at the same time there was something else there. It was like it was an echo of the desire I was feeling, and it was enough to make me wonder what the fuck was going on that I kept feeling that.

  “Oh my,” she said with a slight blush. “It would appear you have a slight problem, though honestly it feels anything but slight…”

  Then she really surprised me by reaching out and grabbing my dick. Like we’re talking I’d already known I was on the verge of exploding this entire fucking time, but getting a little bit of physical contact within the game was enough to nearly set me off.

  I thought of baseball. I thought of that asshole Tommy. Yeah, that was enough to keep me from doing something unfortunate like creating a mess in my robes here in the game world that also resulted in a mess in my shorts back in the real world. I really didn’t want to have to make the walk of shame past that pretty girl with an obvious stain in my shorts. Or, even worse, something all dried and crusty in my shorts.

  Damn it.

  “Um, what are you doing?” I asked.

  She turned and hit me with a wink. A wink that seemed to promise things. A wink that had me wondering if it was really all that much of a problem to worry about whether or not I was going to make a mess in my pants back in the real world.

  Besides, if the people who designed this game put in a system where I could have this kind of fun in the game then surely they wouldn’t put in something that could cause embarrassment in the real world, right?

  I wasn’t sure, and I was getting to the point where I didn’t care. The hypnotic curve of this trainer’s ass was pressing against me, her mouth was open and inviting, and she was going more and more wide eyed as I tried my best to think about anything but what was happening.

  It wasn’t working.

  “You’re not just a Healer, are you?” she asked.

  I licked my lips. My brain was being short-circuited and all I could think about was how good what she was doing felt and so I opened my mouth and blurted out the big secret Treanna told me not to.

  “I’m not,” I gasped.

  “Psionics?” she asked, licking her lips in time with me doing the same.

  “Yes!” I gasped again, wondering if she was going to continue this torture or give me the relief I so desperately needed.

  “Oh my,” she said. “This just got a lot more interesting.”

  And before I could say anything else she was lowering herself down below the altar, leaving me on my feet staring out across the temple as she started working on my robes.

  Which would’ve been a pleasant surprise. The only problem was at that moment the door banged open and none other than Tomas the mighty warrior stepped through looking like he was ready to commit murder.

  Motherfucker! Could nothing go right for me today?

  12

  Awkward

  Tomas locked eyes with me from across the room and I had to admit that it was a pretty odd experience. On the one hand I felt like I was on the verge of exploding because I was finally getting the kind of attention that’d been so sorely lacking from my social life in the couple of years I’d been at the Academy.

  On the other hand I was staring into the eyes of the one guy I hated more than anyone else in the world, and it turns out there was something about staring into the eyes of a dude I absolutely despised that made it easier for me to keep from going over the edge.

  Huh. I was going to have to remember that trick if I ever got out of the Academy and found myself in a situation where I had a social life again. Though come to think of it I guess being in the game was opening that door too.

  Sefia fumbled with the bottom part of my robes. I knew what her intent was. Her fingers danced across some sort of rope that held everything in place.

  Meanwhile Tomas smiled a cruel smile. It was the kind of smile I was used to seeing from the asshole. Usually it was a smile I saw right before he decided to do something to fuck me up.

  “I knew you’d be in here you coward,” he said. “Your little girlfriend told me everything I needed to know!�
��

  “Oh fuck that feels good!” I gasped as Sefia brushed something that nearly set me off.

  Tomas paused. Clearly on the spectrum of responses he was expecting out of me that was somewhere close to the bottom. Or maybe not on the list at all. Something told me he’d never tried beating up someone with a streak of sadomasochism. Which totally isn’t what was going on here, even if that’s what it probably sounded like to him.

  He looked confused, and then that confusion turned to more anger. He seemed to be a never ending well of the stuff.

  “What the fuck did you just say to me you freak?” he growled.

  “Um…”

  I briefly thought about admitting to what was going on just out of sight, then decided that wasn’t the kind of ammunition I wanted to give this asshole. He already treated me like I was less than scum in the real world. I didn’t want to think about how miserable he’d make me if he figured out I was about to get blown by an NPC.

  I’d never hear the end of it, so I gritted my teeth, grabbed the altar in a white-knuckled grip, and prayed he wouldn’t get close enough to figure out what was going on just out of his sight.

  I glanced down at the trainer.

  “What the fuck are you doing?”

  Only when she looked up at me I was hit with a wave of… something. It was difficult to describe. It it was the single most powerful feeling of arousal I think I’ve ever felt in my life. We’re talking it was way more powerful than anything I felt even back when I was a wee lad discovering that my bits were useful for more than going to the bathroom and then spent a couple of weeks doing nothing but flogging myself mercilessly as I explored all the wonderful new aspects of this great toy that’d been attached to my body all my life.

  It was more intense than the first time I looked at a girl after I’d gained a hormonally-induced new appreciation for the fairer sex and realized that, yeah, there was a half of the species that I was totally interested in getting to know better.

  This was just as intense as any of that. I guess everything they say about absence making the heart grow fonder was totally true. Only in this case the absence was my utter inability to do anything with the fairer sex while I was in the elevator, and it was my dick that was growing fond of this trainer.

  It was like when I’d felt emotions coming off of Keli in the forest, or off of that girl at the shop, only it was way more intense.

  That’s when it hit.

  Social link created!

  Current level: 1

  You’ve caught the interest of your trainer! Now it’s time to see how far you’ll go. Rank up to attain new abilities with this connection!

  I frowned. That wasn’t exactly helpful. It wasn’t exactly stopping me from doing anything either, but it certainly wasn’t a help. What the fuck was I supposed to do with that information?

  “What the fuck are you doing up there?” Tomas asked. “You need to get your ass down here and take your beating like a man!”

  Funnily enough at that moment I was taking my beating like a man, only it wasn’t the kind of beating Tomas had in mind. At least I was pretty sure he wasn’t interested in beating me like this.

  Sefia had finally figured out how to get my robes open. I looked from the angry ugliness that was Tomas down to the beauty that was Sefia as she leaned forward and started moving her fist up and down.

  Oh yeah. I was definitely taking a beating, and I was pretty fucking sure that Tomas wouldn’t ever be interested in doing something like this with me.

  “Oh fuck what are you doing to me?” I groaned.

  There must’ve been something about that groan. It was the kind of groan that escaped even though I knew I shouldn’t be saying stuff like that when there was a player right in front of me looking at me like I was a sick fuck for getting turned on by him yelling at me.

  “What the fuck?” Tomas yelled.

  I wasn’t sure what the fuck to do. I leaned against the altar and prayed this would all be over soon even as I found myself wishing this would go on forever.

  “Can you please fuck off?” I growled at Tomas.

  That was enough to make Sefia stop her otherwise expert ministrations on my dick down below. I looked down at her. She stared up at me with a clearly confused look. Like she’d never known a man to ask her to stop once she really got going with what she was doing right now.

  “Are you sure?” she asked, sounding just as confused as she looked.

  “I’m not talking to you,” I said. “What you’re doing is fucking great.”

  She smirked, and seemed to realize, finally, that there was someone else in the room with us. Like she’d been so focused on her task at hand that she’d blocked out everything else. Including Tomas shouting at me from across the room.

  Her eyes darted through the altar to the sanctuary where Tomas was slowly making his way towards me, and there was something new there. Worry.

  “Don’t worry,” I lied. “I’ve totally got this.”

  She sighed. Muttered something about Psionics, but I didn’t have much time to wonder why she would be muttering about something like that before she did something that made me forget all about anything but what she was doing to me in the here and now.

  She leaned forward and opened her mouth, and I was treated to the most wonderful sight and sensation in the world as I disappeared in that gorgeous mouth.

  Let me tell you. Everything about that experience told me that whoever had put together this game had certainly put a lot of time and effort into making sure the more adult aspects of the simulation worked just as well as in the real world. It felt like the real thing, and it’d been so fucking long since I’d enjoyed anything like this that it was a miracle I didn’t explode the moment her lips made contact.

  Fuck!

  I didn’t even give a fuck about Tomas pulling his sword out. He wasn’t the only one unsheathing his sword, but that thing could do a hell of a lot more damage than mine could.

  Okay. That wasn’t good. I could appreciate that even if my body was sort of in a weird place where it didn’t give a fuck about Tomas fucking us up.

  That wasn’t fucking good at all, damn it!

  I held onto the altar for dear life. I wasn’t sure what the hell was going on that all these women were suddenly interested in me, but this was happening and it felt like the real thing and I decided fuck it.

  I was going to enjoy the fuck out of this. Fuck!

  Sefia revealed that she was anything but a celibate. That or there was some master blowjob database the game was pulling from to give her these incredible skills, which really brought up more questions than it answered if that was a thing. How did they do that kind of research so they’d know what parts of the mind to tickle? Who were the lucky bastards who got assigned to do that kind of research?

  “I’m sure that was a hell of an interesting clinical trial,” Treanna said.

  I looked up at her floating there. She smirked down at me. Oh yeah. She was enjoying this too. The little minx. Not that I had much brain power to devote to the fact that my AI was being one hell of a peeping Thomasina even as she rummaged through my mind and experienced what I was experiencing more directly.

  I didn’t give a fuck, because God this felt so good! Every thought that ran through my head was short-circuited as I lost all ability for rational thought!

  I started pumping, and I’m sure that little motion wasn’t lost on Tomas. He stopped about halfway through the sanctuary and really looked at me. Like he was trying to figure out if what he thought was going on up here was really going on.

  Something flashed in front of me and I got yet another indicator telling me I was on the right track. In some ways, at least. Tomas advancing on me looking at me like I was some sort of pervert while he raised his sword for an attack didn’t seem like it was on any sort of right track.

  I’m sure there was someone out there who was into armored dudes with swords attacking them while they were getting busy, but talk about
something that totally wasn’t my thing.

  Social level up!

  Current level: 2

  Your bond with Sefia has grown! You now have the ability to ask her to use her abilities on your behalf!

  5% bonus to healing spells cast on Sefia from Alin.

  5% bonus to healing spells Sefia casts on Alin.

  Huh. That was interesting. Sure I was just a little distracted from the update by what Sefia was doing to me, but at the same time it was good to know.

  It was a damn shame I was about to lose that social link, and this amazing feeling, when she saw me getting cut down in front of her. Yeah, something told me she was going to lose interest faster than the peasant NPC.

  Something else appeared in my heads up display. A new skill bar. I was looking at the abilities Sefia had on offer. Abilities I could use now. Abilities that might include offensive spells.

  I glanced to Tomas. Glanced down to her where she was giving me the single best blowjob I’d ever experienced. It was seriously like they’d uploaded a porn star’s brain or something to teach the AI in this game exactly what to do.

  I glanced at Sefia’ ability bar. After all, Tomas was there ready to kill my ass and I didn’t have anything that would stop him. Maybe she would…

  And that’s when I saw it. She did have offensive spells. Fuck yeah! Holy Blast looked like it would do the trick. I didn’t think. I just focused on that ability, then targeted Tomas.

  Nothing happened. I glanced down, and boy was that a distraction I didn’t need.

  She was looking straight up at me. I wasn’t sure what it was about a woman looking at me while she was in the middle of this, but it was always something that pushed me close to the edge. I mean even more close to the edge than I already was because the nice lady was good enough to put my dick in her mouth in the first place.

  There was something else down there that really did it for me though. Her hand was buried under her robe and I realized she was making cute little moaning noises that were difficult to make out clearly because, y’know, her mouth was already occupied with something else.

 

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