by Vivian Gray
“How do you know I won’t?”
He studied me for a long moment, his jaw working as though he was chewing on something. “Because you love that woman back there. I think, for the first time in your life, you love something more than yourself. I think you love her even more than you love the club.”
“You’re probably right about that.” I walked to the door, shook his hand and watched him walk to his bike.
After he was gone, I sat down on the bench on the porch. I liked sitting on the front porch at night; it helped clear my mind. And boy did I have a lot running through it.
I wasn’t sure that even a cool, clear night like this one was going to do the trick.
Chapter Seventeen
Shannon
I heard the bike roar down the street. They hadn’t been quiet; I heard most of what they said. For a moment, I’d had my finger on my call button, ready to call the police. I know Noah said not the police. But I had no loyalty to the club. I wanted Noah safe, that was all I wanted.
I’d also heard the word love used. Jack had said it. Noah hadn’t laughed it off. I sat on the bed, thinking about that word. How much weight it held. How much it could and would change things if it was put into the space between us.
I knew I loved him; that wasn’t debatable. I wouldn’t have gone down this road with him if I hadn’t felt it. But to say it… made us real, totally cemented into each other. And as much as I wanted it, I wouldn’t make him. I couldn’t. If he loved me for me, that would be fine, but I still wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t just feeling obligations due to the baby.
I heard the front door close, and Noah’s booted steps made their way to the bedroom. When he opened the door and saw me sitting with my phone in my hand, I almost cried. Not that he would be surprised. This damn pregnancy made me cry constantly, but there was a different look in his eyes this time. He wanted me, he hungered for me, but there was something else.
“Everything okay?” I asked softly, not wanting to unleash the beast inside him too early.
“It will be.” He nodded briskly.
With three long strides, he was at the bed, lifting me up by my arms and kissing me. A deep kiss, hungry and full of desire.
“Noah,” I said when he started to paw at the buttons of my dress.
“Shannon, I can’t be gentle tonight,” he said, popping off the last two buttons.
I knew what he needed, and I was going right along with him.
“Then don’t,” I whispered in his ear.
He ripped the dress down my arms, and I kicked it away.
“I fucking hate underwear. Never wear it again,” he ordered, taking my bra in both hands and ripping it open.
I didn’t stop him when he took the panties from me either. His darkness had come to light, and he needed me to help guide him.
His hand snaked into my hair, pulling my head back. “Do you hear me?”
“Yes, sir,” I said breathlessly.
“Good.” He let me go and stalked off to the closet where he kept his devious toys. When he came back, he held a set of nipple clamps, with a short chain linking the two. “Hold up your tits for me,” he directed.
We’d danced to this song before, and I knew what he wanted, what he demanded. I cupped my breasts and pushed them up at him. Presenting my nipples to him. He growled his appreciation and went to work fixing one clamp to my right nipple and then to the left. He didn’t tighten them as much as he had in the past. Even wrapped up in his desires, he remembered the sensitivity the pregnancy had brought to my breasts.
When he dropped the chain, he stood back to admire his work.
“I love your tits,” he said, hooking one finger in the middle of the chain and pulling down. “No. Don’t move,” he ordered when I started to lean forward to alleviate some of the stretch.
I nodded and stood straight again.
“Arms up.” He gave the commands – I’d learned that quickly.
I folded my hands on my head, giving him full access to all parts of my body. I wasn’t to move or get in his way until he gave permission. This position put me in a vulnerable state, but I knew him. I knew he would make this good. He would make me hurt so good that I’d be begging him to make me come.
He lifted the chain to my lips. “Open,” he said, his eyes on me, always on me, always inspecting, and watching.
I parted my lips and closed them around the chain when he put it in my mouth. I felt the burn in my nipples and whimpered. There wouldn’t be a reprieve, not yet – at least not for my nipples.
Like I said, my man was hungry.
He got down on his knees and put his hand between my thighs. “Spread your fucking legs, Shannon. I shouldn’t have to tell you.” He smacked my ass.
“Sorry,” I muttered with the chain in my mouth. I walked my feet apart until I was appropriately opened for him.
“Hmmm. Maybe I’m getting too soft with you lately,” he mused aloud, but I wasn’t worried. As much as I was afraid of him at our first meeting, I was sure he would never hurt me now.
He leaned forward, his mouth wrapping around my sex. His tongue dipped between my folds, and he licked. Long, sensual licks, from my entrance to my clit. Up and down he licked until I started to arch my hips at him. I wanted more, I wanted him hard.
He chuckled and nipped my clit. I cried out but didn’t move.
“Head up.” He pulled away long enough to direct me.
I moaned but obeyed. Repositioning my head made the chain tighter, pulling harder on my nipples.
“Don’t you fucking come until my cock is in you.”
“Yes, sir,” I answered as best I could.
He thrust two fingers into me, fucking me hard with them as he began to twirl his tongue around my clit. Over and over again, between biting down and licking away the sting. I moaned. Every move I made caused the clamps to pull; either I could stay completely still and enjoy the soft burn of the clamps and his delicious tongue battering against my sex, or I could give into the sensations and arch more for him, and create a deeper burn in my nipples.
My thighs shook; I was so close to the edge. “Please. Noah, I have to,” I begged him.
But I should have known better. He wouldn’t let me. Not until he was ready.
He sat back on his heels. “ON your knees,” he said, pulling my hips until I sank down before him.
He kissed me hard, holding my chin and thrusting his tongue into my mouth. I could taste myself on him, and that’s what he wanted. He moaned and pulled away. He was in a hurry tonight. Which worked so fucking well for me. I wanted him so badly at this point, I would have done anything to have him.
Standing up, he shucked off his jeans and boxers, his cock bouncing free in front of my mouth. I knew better than to just grab for it.
He fisted his shaft and brought it to my mouth. “Drop that chain and take my cock. Don’t let go, you swallow it whole,” he ordered.
Anyone hearing us from outside would think he was acting crass and an ass, but I knew my Noah. This was his love language. This was a side of him only I got to see. He only shared this beast with me.
Once my lips were wrapped around him, he fisted my hair, pulling me down on his cock until I gagged. I didn’t let go; I swallowed him and took it, felt every stretch, every hair pull. The sounds of his moans and growls drove me as I went down on him. Bobbing like the good girl he’d taught me to be, I sucked him hard, licked him and swallowed him. Savoring every delectable inch of him.
“Fuck,” I heard him growl, and he pulled back from me, out of my mouth with a pop. “Again.”
He caught his breath and shoved back into my mouth. Spit ran down my chin, but I didn’t care. I hungered for him, for this. His cock thickened in my mouth and experience with him told me he was at the edge. I flicked my tongue under his shaft, and he yanked me off his cock again.
With a light tap to my cheek, he chastised me: “Don’t make me come yet.”
I smiled up at him. I could be a
s evil as him when I wanted, and I knew how to make him explode well before he was ready.
“Get on the bed.” He gave my hair another yank, but I didn’t miss the little smile on his lips when I got to my feet.
He climbed on with me, spreading my thighs wide and positioning his cock at my entrance. I wanted it so badly. I was already whimpering for it. Slowly, painfully slow, he eased inside and stopped when only the head of his cock was seated inside me.
I wiggled my hips. “No, don’t tease,” I begged.
He grinned. “Uh-huh. I’ve been too nice.” He ran his thumb over my clit, an electric fire burning through me. He leaned forward and picked up the chain between my breasts, lifting it until my nipples stretched. “You want these off yet?”
I nodded. He wouldn’t let me come with them on. He wasn’t nice about removing them either. I couldn’t come until he ripped them off my nipples, so I had to ask him. He wanted me begging.
“Tell me when.” His eyes were locked on mine.
I bit down on my lip, squirming as he pulled up higher and higher. “Please. Okay.” I tried to cover his hand with mine, but his eyes narrowed, and I headed the warning. “Now,” I called out and with one yank, they pulled free at the same time he thrust into my pussy, up to the hilt. I felt his balls slap at my ass and I groaned.
“Oh fuck,” he said plowing, into me hard. He gripped my hips, grinding into my clit and fucking me hard.
I lifted my legs, resting them on his shoulders, and cried out from each harsh thrust. He was making it hurt, making me stretch, and I was going to die if he didn’t let me explode soon.
“Please, sir! Please. I have to come. So hard I have to come,” I begged him.
He ran this thumb over my clit. “You want to be my good girl and come?”
“Fuck, yes!” I screamed.
“How do you ask?”
“Please, sir? Can I be your good girl and come?” I asked, watching our bodies collide with each other.
“Good girl. Come for me. Come all over my cock,” he urged and pinched my clit.
It was all I needed. My body exploded with pleasure, and I called out his name, screaming out each wave of pleasure that shook my body. He thrust again and again, then stilled. His hot cum splashed inside of me, bringing my orgasm to a soft landing.
When he caught his breath, he slipped out of me, kissing me on the mouth, then my chin, down my torso and over my belly. I saw the smile on his face, satisfied and pleased, as he made his way to the bathroom to get a towel.
I stayed put, knowing that he would want to clean me up himself. And once he was done, he pulled me into his arms.
“Noah,” I whispered into the darkness of the room, once I was sure he had fallen asleep.
“I love you, Noah. I love you so fucking much.”
Having the words out, hearing them out loud, was like letting go of a deep breath. He hadn’t heard. He was asleep, but that was okay. I’d just needed to say it, and it was safer that he didn’t know. No pressure to say it back, and no rejection when he didn’t.
I fell asleep, snuggled into his chest, feeling the safety of his chest rising and falling, and his heavy arm keeping me tucked into him protectively.
Chapter Eighteen
Noah
I parked my bike in the far lot of the hospital. Shannon worked an early shift, and I wanted to pick her up for lunch. As much as she hated when I showed up at the hospital because she was afraid someone might recognize me, I loved surprising her. I supposed they could pick me up for stealing that ambulance. But since I got the ambulance back in complete working condition, they’d probably just forgotten about it.
As I walked past the emergency room and saw an ambulance sitting there, I smiled. We didn’t have the most conventional way of meeting each other, but it definitely got us off to a hot start. Two nights ago, Shannon had told me that she loved me. She’d said it with such sincerity, and when she thought I couldn’t hear her.
My knee-jerk reaction had been to open my eyes and respond. Tell her exactly how much she meant to me. How I felt the exact same way for her. But she chose that moment to say it because she thought I was asleep. She chose a safe time to say it. So, I let her have her moment.
But the moment was coming soon where I would have to tell her how I felt. Because I didn’t like the idea of this baby being born to unwed parents. As untraditional as I lived my life, I still believed in marriage. I wanted my ring on her finger. Not just to say that she was my wife, but to mark her as mine.
I rode the elevator up to her unit with an old couple and a little boy around four years old. The older woman had her graying hair tied up in a ponytail and wore a sweatshirt and jeans. She looked like she hadn’t slept in three days. She was holding the hand of the little boy. In his hand was a picture. I stood in the back corner, looking at the paper, making out a few stick figures and the word mommy scribbled across the top.
When the elevator stopped, all four of us got off. I fell behind them, ambling until they found the room they were looking for. All three of them went inside. As I passed, I heard the little boy call out to his mommy and the little pitter-patter of feet running across the linoleum floor. I smiled to myself and kept walking.
Shannon was at the unit desk and had clearly seen me walking with the small family. When I approached, her expression was one full of sadness and happiness at seeing me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her, looking behind me, back at that door where the little boy had run into.
“That little boy lost his daddy yesterday. And his mom – she’ll heal but she’s lost the vision in her left eye, and we’re not sure she’ll be able to get all of the use of her left side.”
“What happened?”
She probably shouldn’t tell me – with the privacy laws that we had now – but she would anyway. If not to get the sadness off her chest and let me hold onto it for her. That’s how our relationship was working. If she couldn’t carry something, she gave it to me, and I carried it the rest of the way. And when I couldn’t, I handed it off to her.
“Car crash. The little boy wasn’t with them, thank God.”
I ran my hand up and down her arm, trying to soothe her, trying to give her the idea that things would be okay for them. Even if she was right.
“Well, looks like her parents, or maybe his, are going to be helping.”
Shannon looked up at me, fresh tears in her eyes. When this baby was born, I was going to have a very serious talk with him or her about making their mama cry so damn much.
“Yeah.” She nodded, wiping her eyes and checking her phone. She looked up at me again with a brighter smile. “What are you doing here anyway? My shift isn’t over for an hour.”
“An hour? I was going to take you to lunch.”
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I’m only taking half a shift today. Tracy wanted a little overtime, so I
gave her half my shift.”
“Why does Tracy need overtime?” I asked. Not that I wasn’t grateful that my girl would have half a day to herself, but I didn’t think Jude would be happy with his girl taking on extra hours. He didn’t even like her working.
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask.” Shannon looked away from me and nibbled her lower lip.
I leaned down close to her ear so nobody else could hear. “Even when you’re pregnant, I still don’t like lies.”
She huffed and looked back at me with narrowed eyes. “How do you know that I’m lying?”
“Because you’re no good at it.” I laughed. “Now, why does Tracy need extra hours?”
“It’s not a big deal. She just wants some extra cash to send back home to her mom. Her mom got laid off. She’s trying to help.”
I could understand that. “I’m guessing she hasn’t told Jude? Never mind. I know she hasn’t. Because if she had, he’d be taking care of it for her.”
“Has it occurred to you that maybe she doesn’t want him to take care of it for her? Maybe she wants to take care
of it herself?” Shannon pulled away from me and grabbed a chart from the counter.
Other nurses walking by were giving me a look, then looking at her. I was used to being stared at, with all my tattoos and my leather vest, but I didn’t like the judgmental stares on these women’s faces when they looked at Shannon. But I was not about to suggest she not work at the hospital anymore. Just because I had the power to spank her after she got out of line didn’t give me the right to go pissing her off. Her job was important to her, and I would respect that.