by Hatch, Donna
The hardened conqueror on deck had vanished. He’d bathed and changed into a clean white linen shirt and leather breeches. The cut on his chin had been sewn with black thread, but was enough below his jaw line that it barely showed. The first signs of a beard shadowed his jaw. Tonight he walked barefoot like the boy and Dubois had. And yet, he looked so much like the Jared Amesbury she knew that she wanted to weep again. It was like seeing the ghost of a loved one.
She pressed her hand to her stomach and commanded herself not to fall apart. With lowered eyes, the youth pulled out a chair for her and waited. Too hungry to refuse, she accepted the offered chair. When she had comfortably settled, the boy poured the wine.
“Thank you, O’Brian, that will be all,” rumbled Jared from the doorway.
He pushed off from the wall and closed the door behind O’Brian. He approached like a great cat stalking its prey. She felt his gaze but refused to meet it.
His chair scraped as he sat. “I think you’ll find the food more suitable than usual. I insisted the ship’s cook work in a reputable tavern while we were on land in the hopes that he could produce something edible. His apprenticeship appears to have improved his skills.”
She heard the amusement in his voice, but refused to look at him.
“If you’d been on board the Sea Mistress before, you would appreciate the improvement,” he added.
She twisted the napkin in her lap.
“Perhaps it is the company that chases away your appetite.”
The softness of his voice drew her gaze. A teasing smile played around his mouth. He looked so like his former self that a lump formed in her throat and she had to fight back her tears. The tightness in her stomach made the thought of eating unappealing, despite her earlier hunger.
“I’m hungry. I cannot force you to eat, but I’m not willing to starve.” He dug into his meal.
She had no idea how long she’d been in a drug- induced sleep, but she was beginning to feel weak from lack of food. As the tempting aromas tickled her nose, her stomach reawakened painfully empty. Despite her wishes to appear mutinous, she tasted the first dish. Not up to her chef’s standards, but certainly quite good.
She pointedly kept her eyes off him and they ate the first course in silence. After the second arrived, Elise could no longer stand the silence.
“Would you be so kind as to reveal to me your intentions?” Her tone came out more plaintive than she’d hoped.
He lowered his fork. “My intentions?”
“Toward me.”
He sipped his wine and leaned back in his chair. Holding the glass, he regarded her a moment before he spoke. “I intend to show you every courtesy and make your voyage aboard my ship as pleasant and comfortable as possible.”
“And how long do you plan to hold me on board?”
“My dear Mrs. Berkley, I am not holding you. You are a guest, not a prisoner.” The outer corners of his eyes crinkled.
“I am here against my will.”
His lips twitched. “You’d rather I left you aboard Leandro’s ship?”
Her shoulders slumped. “No.”
“I thought not.”
“Then, if I’m not a prisoner, you’ll take me home?”
“All in good time.”
Desperation edged through. “I need to get home to Colin.”
He paused. “I’m confident he’s receiving the best possible care from your ever faithful servants. You will be returned to him soon, not to worry.”
She swallowed. “Unharmed?”
The humor left his face. “Do you believe I’d turn my men loose on you?”
She cringed. She had feared he’d keep her for his own pleasure, but the thought of those savage-looking men overpowering her left her sick. “Would you really do that?”
He frowned. “Of course not.”
“Then what do you mean to do with me?”
He pressed his lips together briefly. “Allow you full use of my ship. These quarters are for your comfort while you remain on board.”
“Alone?”
“Well, you are using my cabin,” he drawled, looking her over with a wicked grin. “Where do you expect me to sleep?”
She leaped to her feet. “If you think I’ll share your bed with you, you’d better come in wearing armor or you’ll find a knife in your ribs!” She picked up her butter knife and brandished it at him.
He laughed. “Good girl. Nice to see your spirits returning. That passive, timid creature a moment ago barely resembled the Elise Berkley I know.”
She blinked, her indignation fading. Then she realized what he’d done and she grew angry all over again. “You! You deliberately provoked me.”
“Of course. I had to shock you out of your shell somehow.” He grinned. Then his face softened. “Fear not. Once I’ve escorted the Venture to a safe place where she can undergo repairs, I’ll take you home. That is, if you still wish to go there after seeing the liberty afforded by the open seas.”
She sank back into her chair. “Take me home, I beg you. Colin will be terrified when I’ve turned up missing.”
He let his breath out slowly. “I’m sorry. I truly am. I wish I could take you home immediately, but I’m commandeering the Venture and she needs repairs. We damaged her in battle and she looks as though she hasn’t been in dry dock in a decade. I can’t send them off in her alone and unprotected. There are so many unsavory characters who might take advantage of a crippled ship, you know.” He grinned at his own joke.
She was not amused. “Are there any worse than Black Jack?”
His tone light, he said, “Worse? I suppose that depends on your point of view. Leandro was worse. Our former captain was worse. I killed both, so I’ve done the world a favor by ridding it of them.”
She shuddered at how casually he spoke of taking another man’s life. Although, she could not mourn Captain Leandro’s passing. “Is that what you plan to tell the real Jared Amesbury’s family?”
He stilled. “The real Jared Amesbury’s family?”
“I overheard you in town talking to one of your men. You admitted that you’d killed the real Jared Amesbury and have been using his name when it suits you.”
He appeared to carefully choose his words. After a furtive glance toward the door, he replied, “There are times when having an alias becomes necessary.”
“Is murder necessary?”
He met her gaze evenly. “I have killed more men than I can remember. Many in the war. Others since then. Some today. It happens in battle.”
“Then you do not deny that you are indeed the pirate Black Jack.”
“I do not deny it. I’ve been a pirate for the past three years, ever since the war ended.” Gravely, he drank the rest of his wine.
“Another alias?”
“Does it matter?” All trace of humor vanished from his face. Even his eyes lost their sparkle.
“So you’ve stolen and lied and killed. All for a bit of treasure.”
“We are all pawns in some greater game.” He stared off at some unrevealed memory. “If it means anything to you, I’m retiring now that I’ve completed this last task.”
“And how many died from ‘this last task?’”
“A great number, no doubt.”
Her mouth fell open. “How can you be so complacent about human life?”
“Some things cannot be changed,” he replied grimly. “A price must be paid for everything.”
The next course arrived. After the servant—or perhaps sailor would be more appropriate—had left, she picked at the food.
“Elise.” He waited until she looked up. “You have seen me at my worst and at my best. You’ve even seen me grieving. Whatever man you glimpsed in those moments is still here,” he tapped his chest with his fingertips. “I believe you found him not objectionable then.”
“That was before I knew all this.” She made a sweeping motion that took in the ship. The truth seemed almost too horrible to admit. Tears filled her eyes.
He reached over and lifted her chin. She glared at him. Her tears overflowed and ran down her cheeks.
“I never thought I’d see the immovable Elise Berkley reduced to tears,” he whispered.
“I trusted you. But everything about you is a lie.” She sat with tears streaming down her face, absolutely lost. She hated her weakness, her helplessness, her inability to control her emotions. The man she loved never existed. He’d been an illusion. A fraud. A lie. The loss cut more deeply than if he had died. “You killed a man in cold blood and stole his name.”
“I’ve never killed in cold blood. Lives have been lost, but only in the heat of battle.”
She let out a huff but it came out more like a sob.
His voice gentled. “I will return you home. Unmolested. No one you love, or even know, will be hurt.”
A true sob broke through. She turned away and put a hand over her face.
“Elise ….”
“Please. No more.” She stumbled into the sleeping chamber, shut the door and leaned against it. She heard the outer door open and then close.
Desolation crept in.
Despite his familiar face, he remained a stranger. A pirate. One who made a profession of stealing and killing.
CHAPTER 19
Jared slung his coat over his shoulder. Leaning against the mainmast of the Sea Mistress, he stared up at the vast array of brilliant stars. The pilot skillfully guided the ship through calm waters. A white and silver moon held court with the stars. Two points off the port quarter sailed the Venture, silhouetted by the starlight.
He looked back up at the glittering lights, mentally naming the constellations. His brother Cole had been mad for astronomy and knew each mythological story to accompany the constellations. He always seemed to find life’s lessons paralleled in mythology. Jared wondered what advice Cole would offer in his current predicament.
A light breeze ruffled his hair. He filled his lungs with the smells of the ocean. No mist marred the beauty of the sea this night. Not long ago, he’d believed nothing could be more perfect than such a night. Now he would gladly give it up for the love of one woman. A woman who wept in his cabin.
Seeing her reduced to tears tore out his heart. He hadn’t believed he would ever see such a sight. And he’d caused it. Twice.
He could go in and simply tell her the truth, but he doubted she would believe him. She would no doubt think he’d simply made up an elaborate lie as part of some evil scheme.
More importantly, the bulkheads were decidedly thin and he couldn’t risk someone on board the ship overhearing. He’d be immediately killed.
And Elise would be left to the tender mercies of his men. He’d weeded out the worst of the villains from among his own crew over time, but Leandro’s former crew, some of whom were now aboard, were the worst of the lot.
A small part of him wondered if she could still love him now that she knew of his role as a pirate. For all intents and purposes, he truly was a pirate. That he committed all those acts under orders made little difference. He could never bring back all the lives he’d taken. His chest tightened.
He should just take Elise home. The government would never approve of him helping pirates and would order him to return immediately. Once he saw to Von Barondy, he should have gone to London, received his decommission and kept both feet firmly on land. Leaving in his ship, leading a band of villains to rescue Elise, and turning over a ship to them would surely be seen as a rogue act. It would be in his best interest to get back to England quickly.
Elise needed to return to her son. His ship was certainly no place for a lady.
But he wanted to leave the ships to Dubois and Anakoni, who had been faithful friends, despite their station. If he could convince them to give up piracy and accept the pardons he’d been promised for them, they could sell their ships and make a tidy profit; enough, he hoped, to start an honest life.
Perhaps the truth would change Elise’s mind about him. Whether or not he deserved her affections was an entirely different matter. He was just selfish enough not to care.
Below deck, a cacophony of laughter rang out as the crew continued to celebrate their victory and toast their new alliance. Rum flowed freely, the best pirate’s reward.
Jared doubted any of his men would be so bold as to break into his cabin to get to Elise. They’d all signed the articles protecting women, and Jared fiercely enforced penalties for breaking said articles. Besides, he’d proven himself as a good leader, making most of them ridiculously wealthy. Or they would be, if they could refrain from frittering it all away on drink and women the instant they set foot on land.
Yet leaving a beautiful woman alone invited trouble; drunken sailors were capable of almost anything. She’d hate him if he entered the cabin, but that couldn’t be helped. He’d risk her wrath to protect her.
Jared spoke briefly with the pilot before returning to the main cabin. Inside, he paused. O’Brian had cleared away dinner and set the cabin to rights. He heard nothing from behind the shut portal to his sleeping cabin.
At least she wasn’t throwing things. Or audibly crying. That had to be a good sign. Right?
He snuffed out the candles and opened the portal. Inside, all was still. Only moonlight from the porthole illuminated the interior. A vague lump in his bunk indicated Elise’s sleeping form.
He moved forward until the back of his neck prickled. He spun around just in time to catch an object hurtling toward his head. He seized the object with one hand, stopping its forward motion, and seized the arm that wielded it with the other. That fragile hand could only belong to one person on board. He wrested what felt like a candlestick from her and discarded it. It made a dull clank as it bumped against a bulkhead and landed on the deck.
“Trying to kill me, or merely render me senseless?” he drawled as he jerked her hard against him.
Her breath came in gasps. “I knew you were coming.”
“Of course. This is my cabin. I sleep here.”
“If you were a gentleman, you’d sleep in someone else’s cabin.”
“And inconvenience them? How thoughtless.”
“Let go of me.” Her voice rose in pitch.
He tightened his grip and pulled her lush body against his, awakening his ardor. “I rather like you where you are.”
Her breasts heaved as she breathed in harsh gasps. Her body trembled.
Oh, anything but that! He pulled her in closer and rubbed her back. “Shhh. It’s all right.”
Instead of relaxing against him, she tensed further. Her cold hands pushed at him, but he had her effectively pinned. The softness of her body tempted his resolve. He battled it. She was angry and frightened; hardly ideal emotions for seduction. Hoping to soothe her, he wrapped his other arm around her and laid his cheek on top of her head, breathing in the sweet fragrance of her hair. She remained rigid, her hands curled into fists trapped between them.
“I won’t hurt you,” he whispered. “Regardless of the name I use, I’m not such a different man as that.”
“I don’t know you at all.” Tears laced her voice. “I don’t know what you’re capable of doing. Or what you want.”
He smoothed her hair. “I just want to hold you.”
“Please don’t ask this of me.”
“I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.”
“Then I beg you to release me.”
He let his breath out in frustration. How could he argue with a plea like that? He loosened his grip a little. In the semi-darkness, her wide, frightened eyes stared unblinkingly up at him. He opened his arms and let her back away. She flattened herself against the bulkhead. All the warmth left with her.
“We both need rest. And you’re cold. Come.” He took her hand and pulled her toward the bunk.
She dug in her heels. “No.”
“Just sleep.” He pulled the top blanket off the bunk and wrapped it around her. “Your teeth are chattering.” He repositioned the pillows. “Nice decep
tion. I thought you were actually sleeping in my bunk.”
She stood hugging the blanket, poised to flee.
He tugged on the blanket she clutched and drew her to the bunk. “Rest. It will comfortably sleep two.”
“How many times has it done that?” She sounded more like the Elise he knew. It gave him heart.
He grinned. “Jealous?”
She made a scoffing noise. “I’d have to care to be jealous.”
“You wound me.” It was only a partial jest.
“You’re a liar.”
“You’ve no idea. Get in bed, woman.”
“I will not salute you and obey your every order. Captain.” The mockery in her voice made him grin again.
“This is a pirate ship. No one salutes.” He scooped her up in his arms and dumped her unceremoniously on the bunk.
“Blackguard,” she snarled.
“Guilty.”
She struggled inside her blanket cocoon to get into a comfortable position. If he were a true gentleman, he’d sleep on the floor. But at the moment, he took perverse enjoyment in discarding the guise of a gentleman. He pulled off his shirt and climbed in next to her wearing only his breeches. She stared in fear rather than fascination. His pride took a blow.
He rolled her over onto her side facing away from him, and wrapping his arms around her, snuggled against her spoon position.
She lay rigidly. “You have a lot of nerve.”
“See? You do know me.”
She remained quiet for so long he thought a miracle had happened and she’d accepted his presence. “Please.”
The angry, courageous woman had been replaced by the frightened lady again. He liked the angry one better.
He sighed. “It’s cold in here. I’m only trying to warm you. Go to sleep, Elise. I will not attempt to seduce you.”
Her voice shook. “Seduction is not what I most fear.”
He raised up on his elbow and rolled her over on her back. She stiffened further. He peered into her face and lifted her chin with his finger, waiting until she made eye contact. Even in the semidarkness, fear clearly shadowed her eyes.