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Sanctuary

Page 27

by Jennifer McKissack


  “What are you going to do?” Mother asked. “Mamie and Tess already tried that inane Daughter ritual.”

  “Rituals have their purposes.”

  “Do they? These failed.”

  “Maybe the ritual was for the Daughters,” I said. “Anyway, they had the wrong idea.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Cecilia, what could you know that they didn’t?”

  I know Amoret, I thought. But I said, “It’s something Blanche told me, about how powerful human emotion is.”

  “And?”

  “I have a plan.”

  She looked at me askance. “Oh, my darling, I hope so.”

  ON THE LADY CLIFFS DOCK, ELI WAS COUNTING CASH INTO THE HAND OF A stocky man with wary eyes. We were taking a boat over to Sanctuary. The island hid in the mist across the water.

  Two people caught my attention: the Scotts from the library. They didn’t approach us, but waved when they saw me looking. They were staring at my mother, dressed in Stella’s clothes.

  My mother was tall and aloof, even after being in a sanitarium for years. She was smoking a cigarette, looking at the Scotts. Her eyes appeared dead almost, just a spark of something there, like she was choosing to show very little of herself to the onlookers.

  I was sure there were others in Lady Cliffs noting her return. The deranged woman from Sanctuary.

  Mother had been healing for two weeks. We didn’t want to wait any longer.

  The sun was low in the sky when we pulled into Sanctuary’s harbor.

  “When does she appear?” Mother asked.

  “Between dusk and dawn.”

  She nodded and pulled into herself. She had been very quiet on the journey home.

  “The two of you should wait here,” I said.

  Mother screwed up her mouth in an absolutely not expression as Eli said simply, “No.”

  “Just until dusk, until it’s time. I have to find Ben.”

  “You’re not going into the house?” Eli asked quickly.

  “I’m not leaving without Ben.” Even though I’d done it twice already, I wouldn’t do it a third time. He was coming with us.

  “Well, come on, then,” my mother said as she tried to get out of the boat.

  I didn’t see anyone as we climbed the hill, which was dusted with light snow. Mother walked between Eli and me, each of us with a hand on one of her arms. She hesitated when Sanctuary came fully into view, but then we continued on. As we got closer, she kept looking over toward the graveyard.

  Eli opened the door for us, and the walls spoke: Witch. Witch! I felt the captain’s corrosive venom oozing out of my dear Sanctuary’s walls and quickly led us into the library. Winship’s dark presence had grown strong in my absence. Mother was white. I knew she’d heard his voice too, but we didn’t speak of it.

  She moved to the love seat. “Cecilia,” she said, taking out another cigarette. “Do sit here with me.”

  I did as she asked, wanting to rest for a moment while I gathered my courage to go deeper into the house to look for Ben. We were safe in the library, but the thought of hearing that unnatural voice again made me sick to my stomach.

  Eli sat at my desk. I wondered where everyone was, if they were in the house, if they would find us before I found Ben. Amoret’s spirit pushed and prodded inside of me, a frenetic energy of need and will.

  The door flew open. Eli and I stood as Uncle barged into the room, followed by Anna and Ben, with Jasper trailing behind. Uncle stared at my mother. He stepped back toward the doorway, either from shock or because of his general fear of the library. This was a place of love and goodness. It didn’t welcome Uncle or Winship’s evil.

  Mother’s lips turned into an amused smile. I was close enough that I could see how her hand trembled as she put the cigarette to her lips. “Why, Frank,” she said. “You look so much older.”

  He said nothing.

  “Ruling over Sanctuary hasn’t brought you happiness, I guess.”

  His mouth was set in an angry, trembling line. Eli came to stand beside me. Uncle’s eyes flickered to him, and then back to my mother, who continued to look at him as if he were a fascinating specimen to study. I wondered if she’d learned that look from Dr. Brighton.

  “You haven’t destroyed me after all. I heard about the little operation you and Brighton had planned. You probably should have just killed me instead of letting the deranged doctor play around in my brain,” she said, her fingers turning circles beside her head. “Was it the deal you made?”

  Uncle’s eyes were like slits, narrowed and venomous, and he said the strangest thing: “I’m not afraid of you.”

  Mother tilted her head, gestured at me. “It’s my daughter you should fear. She’s really quite amazing. Resourceful, smart,” she said, then paused. “Determined, actually. Determined to see it all through.”

  His head swiveled from one of us to the other. He was obviously not at all sure what to do next. But in his eyes, I could see him beginning to make plans, scheming.

  Mother looked out the window, taking a draw on the cigarette and blowing the smoke out slowly. “The lawn looks nice, Frank.”

  He finally exploded. “How did you get out?”

  Eli put his hand on my shoulder.

  “Is this your doing?” he roared at Eli.

  But it was Mother who answered. “I see Anna back there.” She gave her a little wave. “Or should I say, the new Mrs. Wallace?”

  Anna wrung her hands, and I gave Mother a sharp look. I felt protective of Anna and wished she’d leave her alone. Mother kept staring at her with a calculating look, but in that aloof way she did so well. Anna paled and averted her eyes.

  Uncle pointed at Mother. “You, witch, out of my house.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Witch? Come on, Frank. That’s Winship talking, not you.” She peered closely at him, moving her head to and fro as she looked. “Or is there any of you still left in there?”

  He trembled visibly then. I saw the conflicted madness in his eyes, the tightness of his fists, as his deranged mind jumped from thought to thought, trying to find a way to save Captain Winship from Amoret and her kind. “Get out of my house, off my island.”

  “We’re staying until this is done,” I said, glancing out the window, noting the beginning of night.

  He pointed at Eli. “I’ll have him arrested. I’ll have all of you arrested,” he said, his arm sweeping toward all of us. “And you,” he said, pointing at me, “you’ll go into the asylum with your mother.”

  “What about the murder of my cousin?”

  He paled then, sputtered a little. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I have proof that Marie Delacroix left Nova Scotia to come to Sanctuary,” I said, beginning my lies. “She wrote a letter to her mother, describing a visit with you, in which you threatened her if she ever returned to Sanctuary. Also, I have a photograph of my aunt wearing the pin that was found on Marie. I have a witness,” I said, hoping Ben would stay quiet just now, “who saw you disposing of the body. Two friends of ours know about all this and will go to the police if something happens to us.”

  Everyone in the room was staring at me, all except for Eli, who I’d already confided in while we were at the motel. Ben was shaking his head, his eyes afraid. I couldn’t read Anna’s expression, as I hadn’t been able to read her all my life.

  “What do you want?” Uncle asked me viciously.

  “You have to let her go,” I told him.

  He looked at my mother, confused.

  “Amoret,” I clarified. “You have to let Amoret go. That’s what we’re going to do. We’re all going out to the graveyard, and we’re going to free her. And in freeing her, we free everyone: Tess, Mamie, all the granddaughters of Amoret who’ve tried to release her, as well as Captain Winship.” And me too, I thought. “And it’ll be over. All of it will be over.”

  He left the room. We could hear him running up the stairs.

  “He’s going to get his gun,�
� Mother said, flicking me a look.

  I helped her off the love seat and brought her outside, with Eli following us. We walked the path and went through the gate. Jasper’s little head was shaking, as if he thought this was a bad idea.

  We went to Amoret’s grave. Everything was hushed in a dark, worrisome way. It didn’t feel natural. Something felt wrong.

  Then my mother gasped. I looked up and there was Amoret, standing in the trees. Even though I was afraid of her, of her strong will that had created all of this tragedy and what she could still do to us, I walked toward her. Eli looked confused, and I knew he couldn’t see her.

  “It’s time,” I said into the shadows. Then her features became clear and standing before me was Amoret, with her long flowing hair and deep fiery eyes. She wasn’t demure or sad. She was fierce and desperate.

  “I know what you did,” I said.

  Her face distorted.

  “It’s all right,” I said again, stepping toward her, feeling my mother’s sudden grip on my wrist. “We’re your granddaughters, my mother and me. And we’ll go back to Acadie to live. To Grand-Pré, where you’re from. Of all the places in the world, that’s where I choose to live.”

  She continued to stare at me.

  “I know you killed the captain. You poisoned him with the foxglove from your garden after he killed William and beat you. And then you poisoned yourself. My grandmother had it all wrong, and that made things worse.”

  Slowly, I took the chain off my neck, dangling the brass thimble in front of her. “It is Aimée’s,” I whispered, knowing she could hear me. “I know you know it.”

  I felt the pounding of her heart, the sharp hurt of it.

  “Your guilt keeps us here. Others expected you to move the sea itself, and you think you ended helping no one. But you saved me. You showed me the path I needed to take and gave me the strength to take it. Because we’re alike. We both wanted our families back. Just the way they were. But we have to accept it won’t be like that again. I’ve found my way because of you. It’s time for you to find your way. You need to go home.”

  I pulled a bag out of my pocket. Reaching inside, I brought out the sand and held it up. I walked toward her, my hand out, letting Acadie’s earth slip through my fingers, hoping earth did remember. “This is home, Amoret. This sand is where you were found, where you were born. I’ve learned that childbirth is a sacred thing. I was born here at Sanctuary, connecting me more strongly to you than any others since Aimée. I’m not Aimée, Amoret. And I’m not you. I have my own life to live. You need to let us all go.”

  Something changed in her eyes, and I saw the yearning in them. I felt the yearning in them, like she was inside of me.

  She came toward me, reaching, wanting what was in my hands, the sand from Acadie, her sister’s thimble.

  She was almost to me when we heard the shout.

  Uncle’s voice and footsteps were coming toward us.

  “No, Papa!” I heard Ben shout.

  Eli gave me an anxious look as he turned toward the entrance, putting his body in front of us.

  Anxious, I quickly turned back to Amoret, but she wasn’t looking toward Uncle. Her eyes were fixated on my hands. She continued to come forward, and when she was close enough, I put the thimble in her hand.

  Aimée. I heard Amoret’s voice inside my own head.

  “Yes, your sister,” I told her. “Your daughter’s name too. Your daughter who is a part of me too.”

  I poured the sand into her hand. She stared at it, sifted it through her fingers, and looked up at me, tears in her eyes.

  Her lips moved. Home.

  Uncle appeared as she disappeared. Tiny lights exploded out of where she’d stood. Uncle raised his gun at Eli, but hesitated. At that moment, Ben grappled him from behind. A shot rang out.

  I tried to see, but the lights swirled around me and my mother. One grazed my cheek tenderly, and I could feel Tess’s heart inside my heart. The emotion was so strong, holding me so tightly, I gasped from the love I felt from her. And I saw a look of contentment on my mother’s face as another light grazed her cheek, and I knew it was Mamie’s spirit being released. Something shifted deep within me. I felt a sensation of lightness as Amoret lifted away from inside me.

  I struggled through the emotions to see Uncle and Eli on the ground. I shouted out as the lights disappeared and ran to Eli. Ben was holding the gun, backing away. Uncle shot up and started reaching for the gun, screaming at Ben to give it to him.

  Eli was on his back, struggling to get up. I was kneeling beside him. “Are you hurt?”

  “No,” he assured me, standing up, looking toward Uncle.

  Eli ran to Ben, who let him have the gun.

  Uncle’s eyes were dark and blank when he stared at me. “What have you done?”

  “Don’t move, Frank,” Eli said, the gun in his hand, but pointed at the ground. But his eyes made clear that he’d do anything to stop Uncle.

  “I’ve made it all go away,” I said. “It’s done.”

  He backed up from all of us, uncertainty in his face. “It’s not. He’s still here,” he said, hitting his own chest hard. “And there,” he said, waving his arm toward the house.

  Somehow I knew that he was right, that Winship remained in Sanctuary, tainting the very essence of the house.

  Uncle ran from us.

  “Let’s go,” Eli said.

  I scooped up Jasper, feeling his warm body against my chest. As we hurried through the graveyard, I said good-bye to them all, knowing they were at peace, and would continue to be at peace finally. We strode through the light snow on the ground, past the front door, seeing Anna standing under the portico.

  “Come on,” I told her, but she shook her head at me.

  The four of us made our way to the harbor. Eli threw the gun in the sea, and I was glad to see it sink, although Mother looked a little forlorn. I got in the boat first, but realized Ben was standing down the pier a few feet away. I could see his intention.

  I jumped out of the boat and grabbed his hand. Jasper barked.

  “I can’t leave,” Ben said, refusing to look at me.

  “You can,” I said urgently. “You must.”

  His eyes were teary. “He’s my father.”

  “No,” I said, my eyes tearing up too. “Don’t you see? He’s in a pit. A deep dark pit.”

  “I need to pull him out, then.”

  “He doesn’t want to be out! He wants you to be in the pit with him!”

  He looked back at Sanctuary, his eyes showing his struggle.

  I was about to speak again, when Eli spoke. “Ben,” he said calmly. “We’re your family now.”

  Ben looked to Eli, then to me. He was about to say something, but stopped.

  “We must go,” Mother said in her best bored tone, but her tight mouth showed her worry. She would leave Ben, her sister’s child, I knew. I hated that about her. But I loved her too. So I understood Ben’s struggle.

  “You don’t need me,” Ben said to Eli. “Cecilia has the two of you now.”

  I could feel my mother’s hand on my arm, pulling at me, pulling me away from my cousin. I put Jasper into her arms, and her mouth contorted distastefully.

  “Ben,” Eli said, “I love Cecilia”—my heart soared at this—“and she won’t be happy unless you’re with us. Please come with us.”

  My eyes stung. “Please.”

  “I can’t,” Ben said, sounding like a child.

  “I won’t survive without you,” I said.

  “You always do.”

  “I won’t go without you.”

  Still, he wouldn’t come. Mother got in the boat with Jasper, holding him off from her body, and stared toward Lady Cliffs. Eli began untying the boat.

  “It’s too much loss, Ben. Don’t you see? We’ve all been in Uncle’s pit.” I took both his hands and squeezed them. “Come with me. Help me out of it.”

  He looked back toward the house and then gave me one slow nod. Relief
flooded me.

  Once we were all in the boat, he said to me, “Anna.”

  “I know.”

  WHEN WE WERE OUT IN THE BAY, I LOOKED BACK AT THE ISLAND, SUDDENLY pierced by the sight of Sanctuary in the distance. Then I saw the flames. I stood in the boat, almost falling over. “No.”

  My mother reached out, steadying me. I heard her say, “What has that idiot done now?”

  My library, my books, my memories were burning. Ben and I gave each other a long, slow look that stretched back across years. “Sanctuary,” he whispered, as if it were a holy word, or one of magic and meaning. He was silently crying, tears on his cheeks.

  We all watched Sanctuary burn, all except Eli, who kept his eyes toward the shore. As much as it pained me to see it, I knew it was the right thing, the only way to finally be rid of Winship. I hoped they renamed the island or deserted it and let the sea have it to heal it.

  Places would always have a hold on us, like Acadie did with Amoret, like Sanctuary did with me, but what I’d been seeking all along was the people I belonged with, who may or may not be family.

  Home moves with your heart, and right now this boat—with Eli, my mother, Ben—was my home. I could live with any one of them, but I was fortunate to have all three. Home moves and grows with the heart.

  I wanted desperately to look back at Sanctuary, knowing I always would, but fixed my eyes on the lights of the mainland.

  In the end, I did look back. But I didn’t see Sanctuary burning. I saw three wild children running the island, pulling one another along, throwing rocks into the sea, calling out at birds, laughing at silly things, and holding hands watching the tides of life flow in and out.

  Much respect and gratitude to the three women who helped shape Sanctuary into what it was supposed to be: my editor, Lisa; my agent, Trish; and my daughter, Christine.

  JENNIFER MCKISSACK is the author of Sanctuary.

  She lives in Texas, not too far from the sea.

 

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