by Izzy Shows
He stayed there for a minute, silent, and then at last he backed away.
"Yeah," he said softly.
Do not acknowledge it. To acknowledge it is to make it real. Move on.
I cleared my throat, but I didn't know what to say—and then the pain sliced through me.
I doubled over, collapsing onto the bed, wrapping an arm around my waist as I cried out.
He rushed back to me, knelt by the bed, and placed a hand gently on my side. "Are you OK? What's happening?"
Pain. So much pain. Oh, gods, not the pain again. Alone. Darkness. Revenge.
The thoughts were half mine, but not entirely. I felt a hint of anger, a side that swore retribution.
Zvarr.
"My brother is waking," I said, struggling to sit upright. I gripped his hand so tightly that my knuckles turned white. "We must go."
His eyes widened. "What are you talking about?"
"We have no time! We have to go! We have to do the spell again!" I lurched to my feet, knocking him onto his backside. He was back on his feet in no time, though.
"Why can't we do it here? I remember the spell."
"Because. it didn't buy us enough time. Now, come with me. If we do it near his burial site, it could seal him for much longer. It should take him some time to unearth himself—time for us to get there. Hurry!"
He was already at the door, placing his hand on the pad. Clearly, he didn't see the point in arguing with me, for which I was immensely grateful.
I burst past him as soon as the door opened and ran through the hallways without a care for who saw me or who I might knock into. They all moved out of my way, some of them shrieking in alarm. My cape snapped at my heels as I ran, but I didn't have time to worry about that.
I almost barreled into Walter, but instead grabbed his hand and dragged him along.
"Come with me," I said, not breaking my stride for even a second.
"Whoa. Where are we going?"
"Zvarr is waking."
"Shit."
We ran on. I didn't need to look behind me to know that Kaidan was following. He had to; there was no other choice.
Together, the three of us burst into the exit room, where I waited impatiently for the two men to prepare themselves for the outside elements, and then we departed the base at the same speed that we'd torn through the tunnels.
"Carry him!" I snapped over my shoulder to Kaidan before I'd taken more than a few steps.
I heard a grunt and an exclamation, which told me that Kaidan had obeyed without question.
He was good at that.
I ran like my life depended on it—no, like others’ lives depended on it, which they did. Gratitude rushed into me for all the time I had spent training over the years when I could have allowed myself to grow soft. It was not necessary for the High Priestess to train, to fight, but I had never put aside my weapons, had never stopped pushing myself, as if I had always known that one day I would need to be as strong as I had been when I was an initiate
No, stronger.
But we didn't make it more than twenty minutes away from the base before the worst sound possible reached my ears.
The sound of the dying.
I whirled, skidding in the sand from having changed direction too rapidly at such a speed, and saw the base in the distance. I saw the black cloud that surrounded it, and the screams kept coming.
"No!" I shouted. "No, no, no!"
The screams went silent.
And then I heard my brother’s laughter.
Xiva
NO! I WILL NOT ALLOW IT!
I saw red the moment I heard his laughter, the moment the truth lodged in my heart.
Zvarr had returned, and he had taken a family from me again.
But I would stop him. There had to be time.
With a roar, I launched myself into the sky and hurtled through the air. It took me less than a minute to reach the base again, but I didn't need to enter.
Zvarr was standing at the entrance, leaning against it with a lazy look in his eyes, waiting for me.
He looked every inch the twin he would always be. We were both unmatched in height, but he was broader than I. He had the same pale skin with a blue tinge to it, the same white hair, and the same eyes, a purple that faded to pink at the center.
He was my twin in every way but in his soul, and, gods, did that hurt me.
Just looking at him tore at my soul, made me ache to bring him back to the light, but I had to harden my heart to him. I couldn't let this end the way it had before—before we had gone underground.
I couldn't let him win.
"Hello, sister," he called up to me.
I didn't respond. I flew straight into him, carrying him into the side of the building. We hit it with a sickening thud, denting the wall, but I knew neither of us cared.
He was already ready to go, slamming his fist into my face to send me flying back away from him, but I caught myself in the air before I could get too far, and came back at him.
He met me in the air, and we locked into the dance of battle, exchanging blows in such a rapid flurry that I knew no mortal eye could track us.
Every blow he landed beat at my soul, and every blow I struck at him tore at it as well.
I hated him with every fiber of my being, but I loved him all the same.
He's my twin. How can he be this person too?
Stop! Stop being so weak! He's killed all your people, and now he will take the humans from you as well. If he hasn't already.
I didn't need to look inside the base to know they were dead. I could smell the charred flesh from out here, could feel their residual pain beating against my spirit like a thousand stones hurled at my skin.
They were dead.
He had taken them from me, just like he had taken all of Eyrus.
And for that, he would pay.
I raked my nails against his face, tearing into his skin and taking some of it with me, and slammed my other hand against his cheek. I came at him again and again, a flurry of fists and feet, and hammered him with all I had in me. I didn't allow him to go on the offensive, didn't allow him to do anything more than grunt and block my blows, such was the fury in my heart.
Oh, gods, it hurt so much to think of everything he had taken away from me, and I allowed that pain to fuel every blow I struck.
This is for our parents.
This is for Priestess Tixa.
This is for everyone on Eyrus.
This is for the humans.
How dare you take them from me! I screamed inside my mind and watched as his eyes widened in shock. Then, I realized what had happened. I had beaten down the wall he had erected when he left me two centuries before our battle, the battle that had ended Eyrus.
He had locked me out of his mind, which had hurt me worse than anything else at the time, and I thought he had severed the link we'd formed at birth.
But here it was, and I could feel the sickening sludge of his mind, the disgusting thoughts inside him, the urge to kill, to destroy.
There was no empathy in his soul. There was no love in him.
Who was this monster, and what had he done with my brother?
Tears pricked my eyes, and I realized too late that I had paused.
His blow knocked me through the sky, and I was too distraught to do anything other than allow the momentum to carry me into the sand, which I hit at such a speed that it might as well have been marble. The sound of my skull cracking against it was sickening.
I did not move.
My heart was breaking.
Fool. Did you still hold out hope that he could be saved? That you could bring him back to the light? Look at his soul. Look at his filth.
I closed my eyes to hide the tears, wanting nothing more than to be swallowed up by the ground.
I heard Zvarr land beside me with a heavy thud.
"Sweet sister."
I opened my eyes, and a single tear tracked down my cheek.
"What
did you think you would find inside me?" he mocked me. "Go to sleep and dream of the life you thought you were leading, you fool."
He raised his hand and pulled his magic into it—not the golden glow that it used to be when it was the same as mine, but a blackness that reflected his soul.
It swallowed me whole.
Kaidan
Fuck. No, no, Xiva, no!
My heart stopped for a moment when she hit the ground, but I thought she'd get back up. She had to get back up. Why wasn't she getting back up?
Xiva, get up!
But she didn't, and her brother landed beside her. I watched in horror as he raised a hand, black magic lancing out of it and striking like a lightning bolt into her chest. Her back arched, bringing her up off the ground for moments that felt like hours, until he dropped his hand and let her body rest.
NO!
The rage threatened to consume me, but I pushed it back.
It was hard, because I was in pain, and the rage wanted to protect me. Every blow he'd struck upon her body, I'd felt. It was like my mind had reached for hers, touched hers—I'd felt the same splitting headache that had been present when she came out of the ground, but so much worse. That pain, mingled with the pain I'd felt with each blow, was crippling me now.
Urging me to give in to that which would protect me.
But I had to be logical. I had to think like Xiva would. I couldn't let the rage consume me, couldn't prove everyone right: that I was nothing more than a war machine.
My legs burned as I ran to her, as I'd been running to her ever since she'd launched herself into the sky—had it really only been twenty minutes ago?—but I didn't know what I was going to do when I got there.
If Xiva couldn't take this guy down, how the hell could I? Xiva had kicked my ass already, but I wasn't about to let her go unavenged. I would kill him or die trying.
As I neared the dark twin standing over Xiva's body, I yanked my blaster from my holster and immediately began discharging it over and over again into the fucker's chest.
He jerked with each blast, but he didn't go down.
Piece of shit.
I didn't stop shooting at him, but I did yank another blaster from its holster and slammed it against Walter's chest—Walter, whom I'd all but forgotten until now.
"Fucking fire your heart out at him," I snarled. "Keep him busy. I have to get Xiva."
I didn't stop to look at Walter, just kept running, but I saw his blasts striking Zvarr, so I knew he'd obeyed.
Zvarr was laughing when I reached him. Laughing like a goddamned maniac.
I kept my blaster trained on him as I eased over to Xiva's body, watching his body jerk intermittently when Walter’s blasts hit him.
"Take her, child. I do not mind," he said, his voice slithering through my soul like oil. "I want her to know when I kill her. I want her to see her death in my eyes."
And then he vanished, as if he'd never been there.
Kaidan
I dropped to my knees beside her, letting my blaster fall away. I checked for her pulse—did whatever she was even have a carotid artery?—but couldn't find anything. I tried not to panic, tried to tell myself I didn't know anything about her biology, but it was threatening to consume me.
My hands were shaking, and the red haze was clouding my line of vision.
The rage was coming.
Because she had been taken from me.
I was going to rip that bastard's throat out with my fangs, claw his eyes out, feast on his heart. I would destroy him. Take from him what he'd taken from me.
I would…
"Kaidan!" Walter's voice was sharp behind me, bringing me back to reality. "Stop."
I looked down to see that my claws had extended, biting into the palms of my skin because my hands had fisted. My hands were trembling almost violently, and my eyes were burning.
I opened my mouth to question him, but all that came out was a rumbling growl that shook my chest.
He collapsed to his knees on the other side of Xiva, pale and trembling. I could smell the fear on him, but he didn’t back down.
"Kaidan, you have to breathe. You can't lose control," he said, keeping his voice low and even.
I jerked my head to the side to break eye contact, refusing to let go of the emotions surging inside me, tempting me to give in to the rage. If I could just let go, it would take me, and there would be nothing to worry about, nothing to feel, and I could have my revenge.
He took what was mine, and I will make him pay.
Movement in the corner of my eye caused me to jerk my head back around to see that Walter had laid a hand on Xiva's arm. That same low growl came from my throat, and I curled my lips back in a snarl to reveal the fangs that had descended when the emotional switch was flipped.
He can't touch her. Mine.
"Kaidan, look at me." Again, with that smooth, even voice. Almost like he wasn't afraid of me, but I could smell it on him. "This isn't who you are. Xiva doesn't need this right now. She needs you to use your head."
She's dead. She doesn't need anything but vengeance!
His brown eyes stayed locked on mine, and it began to make me uneasy that he didn't blink.
"Kaidan…" He was whispering now. "I need you."
I shuddered at his words, at the way they struck at my soul.
The kid, too young to be on this expedition, too eager to see the stars—he doesn't understand how dangerous it all is. I have to protect him, have to keep him safe. Can’t let him know how horrible it all is.
Walter. The kid is Walter, and he's mine to protect.
Walter needs me. Have to come back for Walter.
Inch by inch, I forced the fury back down inside me, pushed the rage away from the brink where it had almost taken me, until my vision cleared and I could think. I sucked in a breath of air, then another and another, until I was sure of myself. I checked my hands—the claws were gone, and my hand was steady.
"Sorry, kid," I said, my voice a little rough.
He looked relieved. "I knew you could fight it. Nothing to be sorry about. That, what they did to you, is not your fault."
His words hit home, leaving me feeling vulnerable. How could he know to say that? How could he know how much I blamed myself for everything that had been done to me?
He couldn't. It was just a random remark. And yet, it stuck with me.
I turned my attention sharply to Xiva, ignoring what had passed between Walter and me.
"I can't figure out how to check for a pulse."
"That's because she has a different vascular system than what you're used to—very unique, actually, across multiple alien species," he said, slipping into the role of the good doctor.
I quirked an eyebrow at him, and he laughed.
"Xenobiologist, remember? And botanist, and a bunch of other degrees no one cares about," he said with a shrug.
Right. I’d forgotten the kid was a flipping genius and not just a shrink.
"Anyway, I was paying attention when they were running all their tests on her. I'm a little grateful now—it means we have some of the knowledge we need to be able to help her. I assume you have some basic training in field medicine?"
I nodded.
"Great. Mix that with what I know about her system, and we should be able to stabilize her."
But I still wasn't convinced that she was alive. Her chest wasn't moving, and even though I understood now that she didn't have a carotid artery where I thought she should have one, I still hadn't been able to find her pulse, and that worried me.
Walter seemed to sense that, because he gestured at her chest. "Right side, a little lower than where ours are on the left. Go ahead and listen."
I did as he instructed, pressing my cheek just under her right breast. At first, there was nothing, and I forced the panic down again, knowing that it would only lead to the rage sneaking up on me again, and closed my eyes.
A second later, I heard rapid thumping, much faster than a regular
heartbeat. I jerked up, eyes wide.
"It's too fast," I said. "She could be bleeding internally, bleeding out—"
"No, Kaidan, she has two hearts," he said, grinning. "That's what you're hearing. Now, if you don't mind?" He gestured at her body again, asking permission to touch her.
Right. I'd practically bitten his head off when he touched her arm. I jerked my head into a nod, embarrassed by my own behavior, by the thoughts I'd had. None of it made sense, and I wasn't willing to acknowledge any of it.
There were more important things to focus on.
Walter leaned down and listened to her heartbeat, then sat up and nodded. "Nothing to worry about there. A steady, even beat, which is good."
Satisfied that she was actually alive, I joined in with Walter in checking her over to ensure there was nothing debilitating that would prevent us from moving her. It made me antsy to be out here in the open after her brother’s attack, but we couldn't risk moving her if it would mean harming her further.
Her brother. Zvarr.
The thought of him, of what he'd done to her, brought up another surge of emotion. What an idiot I'd been, thinking Xiva was a threat to us, that she was wrong about her brother.
She'd tried to tell us the whole time, but no one had listened to her.
I turned and looked at the base with a sinking feeling in my heart. Was anyone alive in there?
Oh, Anders. Oh, God, don't let Anders be dead. He deserved so much more.
"Kaidan?"
I looked back to see Walter watching me.
"I think it's safe to move her now. Why don't you take her to the oasis we found last month, and I'll… I'll check the base," he said, then swallowed hard. "It's probably best that we not stick around here. If I find anyone, I'll bring them there."
"Sure," I said. I didn't waste any time. I scooped Xiva into my arms and stood up.
It still struck me as odd how little she weighed, how light she was, in comparison to the punch she could pack. She was a strong woman, a terrifying woman, and she weighed no more than a child.
Maybe it was related to the magic she had access to.