“Sit down,” my father said.
“Sweetheart, this is our daughter you’re-”
But my father silenced my mother with one look of his eyes.
I walked over to the couch and sat down. I sighed and closed my eyes as tears rose to them. There was no use in hiding my sadness from them. It wouldn’t do my argument any good, but it might show them how miserable I was with this decision. I allowed a tear to escape down my cheek and I heard my mother gasp, then the couch beside me dipped.
I felt my father’s fingers underneath my chin as he turned my head to his.
“Open your eyes, Serena,” he said.
I fluttered my eyes open as more tears poured down my cheek. My father wiped them away with his thumb, a mixture of anger and frustration in his gaze.
“What did he do?” he asked.
“Please don’t make me tell you,” I said.
“Did he put his hands on you?” my mother asked. “Because I’ve got some fun cooking tactics for a man who puts his hands on my daughter.”
“He did nothing like that,” I said.
“What happened tonight?” my father asked.
“Please don’t be upset with me,” I said.
“Serena, you are my daughter. I know you go dancing with your friends on the weekends. To clubs I’m sure aren’t safe for you, but that is why I pay the bouncers to keep me informed.”
“What?” I asked.
“Now you can tell me what happened, or I can track down the man who put you in a cab and get his side of the story,” my father said.
“You… pay the bodyguards?” I asked.
“My daughter will always be safe, and I will not hand her off to a man if I do not believe she is safe.”
My body was shaking as my father’s hand fell from my cheek.
“What did Enzo do?” my mother asked.
“I’m well aware of the… type of man Enzo is,” I said. “I know what he does for a living and I know he’ll continue to do it. I also know he is very friendly with the women in this town. It’s the type of lifestyle he can be afforded with the work he does. But… when we went to dinner a week ago, I only set forth one rule.”
“A rule,” my father said.
“Yes. I told him I couldn’t handle him having another woman at his side. I couldn’t handle him being unfaithful. Anything else that happened, whether we fell in love or not, was unimportant. But I wanted him to be faithful to me. And I know it’s a silly rule and a selfish whim, but-”
“Nothing is silly or selfish coming from you, Serena,” my father said.
“I guess I should have specified the rule needed to apply to before we got married, too,” I said with a whisper.
I watched my father’s gaze harden as he shot up from the couch. He raked his hand through his hair while the other one planted on his hip. My mother got up from her seat and came to sit beside me, her hand wiping at my tears.
“He was with another woman tonight, wasn’t he?” my mother asked.
“She was hugging him so tightly, and he was hugging her back. I don’t know what I saw, but I can’t marry him, Mom. No matter how much it would benefit this family. Please. Choose anyone else but him. Whoever you choose next I’ll marry. Just not him. Please.”
“Ssshh, sh, sh, sh. It’s okay, caro. We’ll figure this out,” my mother said.
“The wedding’s off.”
I shot my head up to my father as a look of astonishment poured over my mother’s features.
“What?” she asked.
“The wedding is off,” my father said.
“Gino, maybe we should-”
“I will not hand my daughter off to a man that makes her cry. When was the last time you saw our daughter cry, Sofia!? There aren’t many things I expected from him but keeping our daughter happy was one of them!”
My father was unleashing a rage I’d never seen before as he paced around the room.
“I expected more from the son of Luca Gambani, and if that man wants to keep his contract with us, then his son either fixes this or stays away from our daughter!”
“Okay, Gino. Calm down,” my mother said.
“Do you mean it, Daddy?” I asked.
My father ripped me up from the couch and wrapped me up in his arms. I sniffled into his chest, reveling in the strength and comfort of his scent. Tobacco and mint. A smell I’d always associate with him and always would. The shaking in my body slowly tapered off as his hands ran up and down my back.
Why couldn’t I find a man as good as my father?
“I will call Luca and tell him the wedding’s off. However, he wants to deal with his son is up to him. I will tell him his son has two choices: to fix this or step down from his job.”
“I don’t want to marry him,” I said breathlessly.
“I will not give you away to him,” my father said. “If he wants to try and fix this, then he will have to get down on one knee and ask you himself. But I will not do business with a man who has raised a son like that.”
I sighed and fell deeper into his embrace.
“Why don’t you go upstairs and get some rest?” my father asked. “I have a phone call to make.”
Then my mother pulled me from his arms, took me in hers, and led my shell of a body up the stairs.
Then night was long. I kept dreaming of him and waking up to his breath on my neck. There were moments where I rolled over and could’ve sworn he was there. I readied myself for a fight every time a dream woke me up, and the echoes of his voice ripped through the corners of my mind. I saw his amber eyes gazing into mine. I felt his strong embrace tighten around my hips. I felt his chiseled muscles pressing into me and my back cooling against the glass of his apartment.
My mind was riddled with thoughts of him even though my heart was breaking.
I woke up to periods of yelling. My mother and my father and someone else I couldn’t recognize. I had shamed the family. Thrown them into a spiraling descent with my decision to not marry. But my father could’ve overridden me. Told me of the shame that would come down on our heads if I didn’t. However, he chose to listen to me. He chose to acknowledge the sadness in my heart.
I would always love him for that.
I stayed in bed the rest of the day, ignoring the vibrating of my phone. I had an entire weekend to wallow and feel sorry for myself before I’d have to get back to work. Part of me wanted to take a mental health day but part of me knew seeing my kids would help. Seeing my classroom full of smiling faces would help relieve the pain I felt in my heart.
The problem was, I couldn’t figure out why I hurt so bad. I didn’t love the man. I was merely trying to give it a shot.
So why did this hurt so much?
Why did my soul feel like it was being set on fire?
Chapter 13
Enzo
I dialed Serena’s number for the seventh time that day. I needed to get in touch with her. I needed her to pick up the fucking phone. I knew what conclusion she was jumping to and I knew she would hold it over my head. But what she saw that night wasn’t what she thought she did, and she needed to give me the chance to explain.
“What?”
“Serena, finally. Give me a chance to explain,” I said.
“There’s nothing to explain. You found a loophole in my request of you and you used it. I can’t be upset over that.”
“What?” I asked. “Loophole?”
“I asked you to stay faithful to me while we were married. Obviously, we aren’t married yet. So, it would stand to reason you’d still go out while we were engaged.”
“You mean ‘are engaged’?” I asked. “And that’s not what happened. That’s not what you saw.”
“What I saw was a very busty woman putting her arms around you. And instead of pushing her away, you embraced her.”
“I don’t disrespect women like that.”
“Like you don’t toss them out after leaving them alone in your apartment?” she asked.
“I doesn’t matter what I do or do not know, Enzo. The point is I can’t marry a man who always looks for loopholes in what I ask of him so his life doesn’t have to change. You expected me to stay faithful to you, right?”
“Of course, yes. Why are you talking in past-?”
“So, if I had my arms around another man in a club, no matter what the reason for it, how would you react?”
I felt my hair on my arms bristle at the mere mentioning of another man with Serena. She was mine. Gifted to me by her family to take care of for the rest of my life.
“Exactly,” she said.
“Can I talk now?” I asked.
“No. You’ve had your chance to talk. Goodbye, Enzo.”
She hung up the phone and I threw mine across the room. That insolent, stubborn woman! Why the fuck wasn’t she giving me a chance to talk? She was jumping to conclusions and making up bullshit in her head and she wasn’t giving me a chance to explain myself.
I had to find a way to get her face to face again to talk. But first, I had to work.
I got into my car and drove out to the sanitation office. My father would know what to do with a scenario like this. Him and my mother had been through hell and back during some years of their marriage, and he always had advice for scenarios like this. I walked into the office with my suit smoothed and my coat buttoned, and I overheard a very interesting conversation taking place.
“This contract could be huge.”
“That family? Are you serious?”
“Twelve million dollars. It’s the biggest contract we’ve had.”
“It’s a massive cleanup.”
“Who do you think Luca will pick to head it up?”
A twelve million dollar contract? That was something I needed to get ahead of. If I could convince my father to let me take this contract, I could not only prove my worth and value to Serena, but I could forever cement my place as my father’s heir to his throne. I needed to be the one that was picked to oversee this project, no matter what it required of me. Taking on a contract like this was a massive step in the direction I wanted to go.
But when I walked into my father’s office, he didn’t look up from his paperwork.
“Dad?”
He kept writing, like he hadn’t heard me or something.
“I wanna talk to you about the latest contract you’ve apparently taken on,” I said.
And still, his hand kept writing.
“You need hearing aids or something?”
“No, but apparently my son needs restraint,” he said.
I felt the blood rush from my limbs as my father turned his face up to mine. Never in my life had I gotten this stare from him. I’d seen him give it to others. Men he killed when they betrayed the family and men who wouldn’t pay up their end of the bargain. But never had I gotten that look myself.
“Before you open your mouth to lie to me-”
“I would never do that,” I said. “Not with that look on your face.”
“I received a call from Gino. The wedding’s apparently been called off,” my father said.
That fucking woman. She was going to ruin everything.
“I can explain,” I said.
“I don’t give a damn about your explanation, Enzo. I gave you one job. One measly job. To be the man I raised you to be and take that woman’s hand in marriage to solidify our future. And you cocked it up.”
“It’s all a misunderstanding.”
“Is being in the club with another woman a misunderstanding?” he asked.
“It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t romantic. Gia was there and she put her arms around me.”
“Gia? Did you hug her back?” he asked.
“Why is everyone so concerned with that? Who cares if I hugged her back?”
“Because appearances are everything!”
He roared so loudly at me that my ears began to ring. He flew up from his chair and I actually took a step back. There weren’t many people in this world I was afraid of, but my father? With his temper?
He was terrifying, and I wasn’t so sure he wasn’t going to kill me for this.
“I’m not giving you my biggest contract because I can’t even trust you with a timid, quiet little girl! Now get the hell out of my office.”
“Dad, this isn’t-”
“You’ve got two choices, Enzo.”
I held my father’s gaze as he smoothed his hands out over his button-down shirt.
“You can either make this work with Serena or you can find yourself a different path.”
“What?” I asked.
“You heard me. You’ve shamed me and your mother. You’ve made very powerful people think we raised nothing but a mindless, spineless playboy. I raised you better than this, Enzo. Broke my back and took lives with my own two hands while your mother whipped you into shape. And you were not an easy child. Defiant. Loud. Had a mouth on you the size of fucking Sicily. But I fought your mother in beating it out of you. I fought her every step of the fucking way. That brazen attitude and that mouth would do you well on this seat. But never in my wildest dreams could I have ever thought you would’ve treated a woman this way. Ever.”
“Nothing happened with her,” I said.
“It doesn’t matter, Enzo!” my father said. “It doesn’t matter what did or did not happen! All that matters is what it looked like and how it made that girl feel. Do you not get that!?”
My father was panting, his hands clenched into fists as they dangled by his sides.
“Fix it like a man or you will be kicked out of this family.”
“But Dad-”
“You heard me, boy!”
I clenched my jaw and physically bit down on my tongue. I watched my father take a deep breath through his nose, then he sat back down into his chair. With a flick of his wrist he dismissed me, like some errand boy he was breaking in.
I walked out of his office with my head spinning as two men approached my sides.
“Seriously? My father’s having me escorted out?” I asked.
But all the men did was try to take me by my arms.
“My legs work,” I said as I shrugged them off.
Then I made my way back to my car, lost with what my next move was going to be.
Chapter 14
Serena
It was the last day of school and I couldn’t have been happier for it. My body physically hurt trying to push through my days. My parents tried to convince me to take some time off. To let a substitute teacher, handle the last couple weeks of school. But I couldn’t leave my kids like that. They were my only shining light in the darkness I felt spreading over my limbs. It hurt to get out of bed and it hurt to eat. It hurt to walk and it hurt to smile. I wished someone else knew about what was going on. I wished there was someone else to talk with besides my parents. Every time it came up my father started a verbal rampage and my mother would take to trying to calm him down.
It was never about me, or the pain I was experiencing.
I had no idea how I could fall for a man like Enzo. But I knew I had. Something like this wouldn’t hurt as much as it did had I not fallen for him. I was an idiot. A grade-A idiot to think something like an arranged marriage would change a man like Enzo. I’d heard horror stories from the girls about playboys who smiled at them in bed before leaving and hopping right into another woman’s bed. I’d heard stories from my friends about men trying to pull the wool over their eyes and lead double lives and all sorts of crazy stuff.
But I never thought my parents would try to hand me over to a man like that. I never thought their judge of character would be so off.
I waved my kids off as the busses pulled out of the parking lot. It was officially summer break and everyone was racing to get out of the school. People were slamming into my shoulder with all of their things in their arms, ready to get back to the lives they had ahead of them for the seven weeks we had off.
But all I did was sit at my desk.
I stared at the wall, feeling my body sink into the chair beneath my legs. What was I going to do now? Stare at a wall for the entire summer? I was supposed to be planning a wedding. I was supposed to come back to school a married woman. I was supposed to be leading a different life than this. A life where I was going on dates and taking weekend vacations and getting to know the man who would help me father my children.
But instead, I was allowing silent tears to slip down my cheeks in the middle of a darkened, empty classroom.
“Knock knock!”
Whipping my head over to the door, I saw Jamie come in. She was holding two massive milkshakes and a smile on her face until she saw the tears streaming down my cheeks. She pulled up a chair from the corner and handed me a drink, then she reached out and smoothed the tears off my skin.
“It’s time to talk,” Jamie said.
“You’re going to think I’m insane,” I said.
“Try me.”
“You know how my parents are old-school Italian, right?”
“Very, yes.”
“The set me up with a man to marry a couple of weeks ago,” I said.
“What? You’re getting married to some guy you don’t even know?”
“That’s not even the worst of it. And no, I’m not getting married anymore.”
“He was a dick, wasn’t he?” she asked.
“When they told me they had found a suitable husband, I was actually excited. Arranged marriages, once you accept them, sort of make a love life easier to navigate. I can go out and have fun without trying to get attached or anything because I know my parents have my best interest at heart eventually.”
“That’s fucking weird, but we’ll go with it. Sure.”
“I went out that night to have one last night of fun, and found this very handsome man. And I broke one of my rules.”
“Shit. What rule?” she asked.
“I went back to his place.”
“Well, it’s not the worst rule to break. Was he any good? Oh shit, you fell in love with the guy, didn’t you?”
“He was wonderful. Rocked my world, Jamie. But he was rude as hell the next morning.”
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