“I get a lot of shit has gone down and you want to shut yourself in your head for a bit to work it out, but that can only happen after we talk. Better yet, that shit can happen when I’ve said my piece and you’ve actually listened to me for a change. There’s more I’ve got to tell you, Tilly. Shit I should’ve said months ago. And believe it or not, you’re going to want to hear it.”
Now I’ve peaked her curiosity. The quirked eyebrow and parted lips prove it.
“I don’t know why I didn’t tell you before, but I can’t go back and change that. Part of me thought it was easier if you kept believing the worst of me than try and convince you otherwise, regardless it’s time to set the record straight.” Sucking in a deep breath through my nose, I focus on her stunning chocolate brown eyes and pray she’ll believe me when this is all out in the open. “You gave me a choice and I picked wrong, and for that I’m sorrier than you’ll ever know. But you’ve got to believe me when I say it was based on Tucker and nothing else. Choosing to live two separate lives while married to you wasn’t what I wanted, but I didn’t feel like I had a choice at the time, Tilly. I thought it was that or nothing. I couldn’t not see my son, or who I believed was my son. That’d be like asking me to give up seeing one of my girls, and that shit just wouldn’t happen.”
I couldn’t imagine not being able to see the beautiful smiling faces of my little girls’ every day. I shake my head sadly and take in another lungful of air trying desperately to calm myself so I don’t end up sobbing like a baby.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen now, babe. Tucker is Dagger’s son, I’ve got no doubt he’ll take care of him, but I’d still like to offer to help him with that if he needs it. It’d mean a lot to me if you understood why I want to do it, and get that it’s not because I feel obligated to but because Tucker deserves that much.”
Tilly’s eyes go soft, one of the many looks she has that I love. The one where she gazes at me with respect and amazement. I haven’t seen it in so long I have to shake my head a few times just to be sure I’m not mistaken. I’m not, but it feels damn good to be sure. Definitely amazement. Fucking excellent, we’re finally getting somewhere.
“Of course. I wouldn’t expect any different,” she replies softly.
Nodding my thanks, I can’t help the relief that surges through me knowing she’s not going to stand in the way of me offering to help. Not that I really believed she would. But after what she’s been through over the last week, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was too much to ask of her and as much as it’d pain me, I’d abide by her wishes.
“You already know the shit Stacey did, drugging my drink, playing it off like we’d slept together. And I’ve gotta say, I’ve never been more proud of you than when you knocked her the fuck out. It was a thing of beauty watching you do that, babe. The boys thought so too.”
Her giggle is music to my ears. I haven’t heard that directed at me for months and I’ve missed it. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until right now however.
“I know I’ve got every part of you now, Tilly. You gave me the last piece when you told me about Demon. You trusted me with that, and I’ll never be able to explain what it means to me that you did. I’ve only got one more piece of me to give before you’ve got all of me too.” Now she’s back to looking shocked. “Yeah, I haven’t told you everything, but like I said before, babe, it was easier to let you keep thinking what you did than to bust my ass convincing you of anything different. That was my fuck up, I should’ve told you everything back then. Maybe things would’ve been different if I had, I don’t know. But I didn’t, and I can’t dwell on that shit and neither can you.”
Bracing myself for her reaction, I take three steps forward and sit at the foot of the bed facing her.
“I didn’t sleep with her, Tilly. Not once. I thought I did that first time, the time she claimed Tucker was conceived, her being in my bed at the clubhouse, naked was enough to have me second guessing myself even. Since then, you and I both found out I didn’t touch her that time, or anytime you may have thought I did after. I can promise you, Tilly, I haven’t slept with, fucked, or had sex with another woman since I took you to my bed twelve years ago, and that’s the truth.”
A strangled sob bursts from Tilly’s throat, so much so the bed starts shaking with the force of her cries. I make the split second decision that the space between us isn’t working for me. Crawling up the bed, I sit next to her and pull her into my arms. She sinks into my embrace immediately accepting all the love and comfort I’m offering her. Having her like this, in my arms, in our bed, whether it’s because she’s crying or not has my heart pounding in my chest. Other than the one time I had her in my lap when she told her dad about his brother, I haven’t held my woman in so long I thought I’d all but forgotten how good it feels. I was wrong, again. I didn’t forget a fucking thing.
At five-foot-six, Tilly’s tiny in comparison to my six-three. She weighs maybe one hundred and twenty pounds soaking wet, but the gentle weight of her curled into my side might as well be a twenty tons the impact it has on me. I’ve missed this and I’ve missed her. Every day we’ve been apart, everything we’ve gone through, and how much we’ve both had to sacrifice comes crashing down on top of me as I hold her tightly refusing to let her move an inch.
Thought of what my life would have been like if I’d never been able to hold her again run through my head at an alarming rate. What if I couldn’t touch her, be near her, and call her my wife anymore. What the fuck would I do then? It’s not something I’d let happen, I know that with a certainty that lights a fire in my veins, but that’s just me. What if she was positive I wasn’t what she wanted or needed anymore? There’s no way I’d survive this life without her, and she needs to know that. She needs to feel it as deeply as I do. Tilly needs to hear me tell her what I should’ve been telling her every day for the last twelve years instead of taking it for granted that she knew and believed it.
“I love you, Tallulah Annaliese Phillips. I’ve never loved a woman before or after you, and I never will. You’re it for me. If you tell me this is it, that we’re still done, I’ll fight for you with the last breath in my body until the day I die to make you change your mind. That’s how much I love you, babe. I can’t and won’t live without you, Tilly. It’d kill me if you tried to make me.”
My voice sounds unsure even to my own ears, but when she looks up at me so intently with those big, chocolate eyes of hers and smiles, I know my world is complete again. Kissing the small area of exposed skin at the base of my throat, between my shirt and my neck, Tilly heals me with only a few words. It’s like the past two and a half years are erased in the blink of an eye. They aren’t, and we have a long road to travel to put it completely behind us, but I intend to bask in the happiness she’s giving me at least for today.
“I love you too, Tobias. Now shut up and show me how much you love me.”
At her demand I don’t waste any time scooping her up and rolling her beneath me. If she thought I’d do the chivalrous thing and refuse, she’s out of her goddamn mind. There’s no way in hell I’d miss out on an offer like that. An offer to have her writhing and moaning for me. What man in his right mind or otherwise would deny a woman a stunning as Tilly? Not fucking me that’s for sure.
Once. I’ve made love once in the last three years, and it was with Tilly the day she handed me those fucking divorce papers. I didn’t lie when I told her I haven’t had another woman since I took her to bed the first time twelve years ago, and if she couldn’t forgive me I won’t have anyone until the day I take my last breath. I can’t imagine slipping inside another woman’s body. The thought alone makes me feel sick to my stomach, let alone actually going through with it. That’s not the only reason I’d happily be celibate though.
Even before Tilly I’d never made love to a woman, and if you’d asked me to tell you the difference at the time I’d have told you there wasn’t one. Sure, I’ve fucked other women, but that’s exa
ctly what it was, fucking. There was no tenderness. No gentle touches, kissing, caressing, or worshipping a woman’s body. It was just straight up get my dick wet and get off, fucking. It’s not even close to what I have with Tilly. Even if it’s up against the wall, me pounding into her hard and rough, all teeth and nails, grinding and sweaty, it’s still making love because I’m in love with her. Every time we’ve gone at it fast and dirty I’ve worshiped her body. Maybe in a different way to the slow, languid times filled with sweet touches and caresses, but it’s been worshipping nonetheless.
This time’s going to be no different, because as much as I’d love to take the time to spread her out naked, kiss, lick, and taste every part of her, I don’t have that kind of self-control. It’s been too long since I’ve been inside her tight, wet pussy. I know before we start it’s going to be hard and fast. Shit, at this rate I’ll be lucky to get my jeans off before I come in my pants like a teenage boy.
Needing to see she’s on the same page as I am, I look down and see her blonde hair splayed out on the pillows like a halo of golden silk. Her eyes are glazed over and unfocused with lust. And her chest’s heaving with her tits threatening to spill over the neck of her shirt. She’s just as ready as I am, and that’s the last coherent thought I have as I rip her shirt over her head, unlatch the front closure of her bra, and suck one of her hard nipples into my welcoming mouth.
Tilly’s tits may have always fascinated me, but that doesn’t detract from the fact they’ve always been a major erogenous zone for her too. I’ve spent hours sucking, nipping, biting them until she comes hard for me. I’ve mapped every inch of her body. What she likes. What she doesn’t. What makes her the wettest? I know every spot on her body that will have her pulling my hair and screaming my name.
Lavishing attention on the poor neglected bud topping her other breast, I let the first one drop from my mouth with a wet pop. I don’t get far when she frames my face with her hands, staring deep into my eyes.
“I love that you want to take your time, but can you do me a favor?”
“Anything,” I rasp.
Shimmying out of her jeans and panties at the same time, all the while still underneath me not letting me go, Tilly tells me what she needs.
“Can you please stop messing around and fuck me? I’ve missed you, Tobi, and I need you inside me more than I need my next breath.”
At hearing her nickname for me slip from her lips, I launch myself off the bed and strip faster than I’ve ever stripped before. My desperate movements see me fumbling with my belt, and the grin quirking her lips shows me she’s amused at my un-coordination causing a growl to erupt from my chest.
“You sure? You know what you’re asking for right? Because I’ve gotta tell you, it’s going to be near on impossible for me to stop once I start, babe, so you’ve gotta be sure.”
Nodding her head rapidly and smiling in a way that lights her entire face and brightens her eyes she says,
“Mmhmm. At least I hope I know what I’m getting. That is unless you’ve changed the way you fuck like a wild animal when you’re this turned on.” She punctuates her answer with a long look at my poor, neglected cock. Currently it’s straining toward my belly button, hard as stone, throbbing, and so ready to be buried inside her it’s not funny. In fact it’s bordering on fucking painful.
Fuck no, I haven’t changed how I fuck when I’m this turned on. I wouldn’t even if I could. The way Tilly gets off on my cock when I’m unrestrained inside her is magnificent. Why would I want to change a damn thing? The answer is, I wouldn’t. Growling again, I position myself over her holding the base of my cock spreading her legs wide with one knee as I line up the head of my dick with her soaking wet cunt.
I can literally feel the heat rolling off her pussy, and it’s a heady feeling knowing I’m the only one that’s been inside her. That I’m the only one that can make her this wet.
“Hook your legs round my waist, babe, and hang the fuck on.”
Doing my bidding and wrapping her legs around my waist, she locks her ankles at the base of my spine moaning as I begin to move. Thrusting inside her to the hilt in one long, smooth, stroke I groan at the sensation of entering her for the first time in what feels like forever. She feels so good what I thought was only going to last minutes might actually last seconds.
My wife’s pussy is the closest thing to heaven on Earth. Tight, wet, and pulsing she fits me like a velvet fist made perfectly to accommodate me, and only me. Every time we’re together like this I revel in the feeling of coming home. Because that’s what she is to me, home.
Thrusting in and out of her, I drop my head to her neck and lave the skin below her ear. Her answering moan is all I need to hear to have me increasing my pace, barely holding back my own release. If she doesn’t come fast, I can’t promise I’ll be able to hold off much longer. Not willing to blow before she does has me reaching between our joined bodies strumming her clit until her inner walls are quivering around me gripping my cock tighter than before.
Her clit is hard, over-sensitive, and practically throbbing at my first touch. Using my thumb, I add pressure and rub in slow, tight circles, which has her begging me to let her come in seconds.
“Oh my God, Tobi. Yes, there. Right there.”
Nipping at the soft flesh above her collarbone, her nipples rasp across the smattering of hair on my chest tightening them into diamond hard points. The way her hips are canting into mine and the hitch in her breathing at my every stroke has my balls pulling up tight, slapping against her ass as I pound into her furiously. I can feel the tell-tale tingling at the base of my spine warning me I won’t be able to hold off my impending release any longer, so I increase the pressure of my thumb and claim her mouth roughly with mine.
Using my tongue to mimic the actions of my cock, Tilly whimpers into my mouth stroking my tongue furiously with her own until she can’t take any more. Throwing her head back and exposing the column of her throat, I go in for the kill. Running the edge of my teeth up and down her neck, Tilly loses all semblance of control. And when she does, I can honestly without reservation say, she is the most stunning woman I’ve ever seen.
Her back bows off the bed pressing her unimaginably closer to me. Her eyes flutter open and closed. Her breathing speeds up, and her skin flushes the prettiest pink color I can’t help but be proud I’m the one who put it there. The whole time she’s begging, pleading, and demanding I make her come. The words from her lips are like a trigger to a gun and have me tipping over the edge with her instantly.
Growling I demand,
“Look at me. Look at what you do to me. What only you do to me.”
As hers eyes finally connect with mine, they’re the spark that ignites the flame. Grinding into her roughly, my neck strains, my chest heaves in effort to draw in air, and my cock shoots thick strand after strand of come into her depths. Pulsing aftershocks from her have my cock twitching in reply, but I could care less what it wants right now. Collapsing beside her, she’s too small to hold my weight heavy and sated on top of her for long, I pull her into my side and close my eyes willing my heart to slow down and even out.
Tilly instantly burrows into my side, throwing an arm around my waist and resting her head on my chest.
“Holy shit. Remind me why we ever stopped doing that?” Realizing what she just said, Tilly tries to backtrack but I’m not standing for that shit.
I know it’s early days, and I know she hasn’t had time to sort it in her head yet, but we’re going to have to be able to talk about it sometime and now’s a good a time as any.
“Stop. Just stop right now. I don’t want you over thinking this shit, babe. I told you what happened, you accepted it and took me into your beautiful body, and now it’s done. All I’ve got to say on it is, we’re doing that again as soon as I can move, babe. Let’s leave it at that, yeah?”
She nods slowly into my chest stroking small patterns on my lower stomach. Her touch has a direct, no holds barred connecti
on to my cock, because no sooner has it deflated to half-mast, it’s reanimated and standing to full attention straining to reach her hand. Not that I blame the poor bastard. My hand hasn’t been cutting it for-fucking-ever now. I couldn’t get myself off if I tried, and believe me I fucking tried. It only wanted Tilly, a sentiment I absolutely, one hundred percent share.
“I’ve got to know, what now, babe? The kids come back from your parents’ place tomorrow. What then?” I desperately want her answer to be we go back to the way everything was before the Stacey shit show, but I’m not holding my breath.
Sighing deeply, Tilly continues her ministrations on my stomach and kisses the hinge of my jaw.
“I know what I want, Tobi. I want more than anything to say, fuck it, and return to the way to was.” My heart stutters at her words, and I know she can feel it pick up the pace when she taps my chest softly. “But I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do, I really don’t. The girls’ have been through this mess with us too. We might have tried to shield them from it as best we could, but to them it’s still going to be confusing you coming home all of a sudden.”
Rationally I get what she’s saying and I’d hate to upset my daughters any more than they already have been, but I can’t help wonder if Tilly’s using that as an excuse. A way to hide in order to protect herself.
“If you don’t want me here, Tilly, you’ve just gotta say it.” I can feel my body tensing in response to the anger building inside no matter how hard I fight to stay calm.
Forged: A Devil's Spawn MC Novel Page 13