Pausing for a moment not only for her to adjust to my size but also so I can gain some control over my body, so I don't come before we even start. A second later I feel Grace's delicate hands slide up my chest and around my back, pulling me closer to her.
"I need to feel you. Please, Jake," she pleads.
Giving her what she asks for I begin to move sliding my shaft in and out of her tight heat with slow, purposeful strokes as the coarse hair on my chest rubs against her hardened nipples. With both of our bodies covered in sweat, I start to feel a familiar tingle at the base of my spine letting me know I won't be able to hold on much longer. Grinding my pelvis down, I connect with her clit, and the friction causes her pussy to spasm around my cock. "I want you to come for me one more time, Little Bird. Let me feel your sweet tight pussy come all over my cock." As soon as the command leaves my lips, Grace's pupils dilate, and her mouth opens as she screams out her orgasm.
Something I learned a long time ago is my shy timid woman loves my dirty mouth. No longer able to hold back my release, I reluctantly pull out of the sweetest pussy I've ever had, wrap my hand around my cock and begin to pump. A few strokes later, jets of warm cum land all over Grace's pussy. I may not have come inside her, but I can still mark her as mine.
My body collapses next to hers; I pull her into my side, neither one of us saying a word for a few minutes. At this moment, words aren't needed. Grace knew this time was coming as well did I. We both know we have a lot more to tell each other. I know what Grace told me earlier about her past is only the tip of the iceberg and I have yet to tap into things about my past. Grace knows I was married, and my wife passed away years ago, but I've never delved into any details. Maybe she never asked out of fear that I would in return ask about her past. But something tells me that's not the case. I feel she will wait for me to tell her when I am ready.
Allowing myself to think about things, I believe Grace has been going slow with me the same way I have for her. Granted her reasons are not entirely the same as mine.
"What are you thinking about so hard?" Grace's soft voice asks, bringing me out of my thoughts. "I'm thinkin' about how I'm ready for us to move forward. How I want you in my life, in my home and my bed, and on the back of my bike. Are you ready to come home, Grace? Are you ready to trust that I can take care of you and that my club and I will do whatever necessary to protect you?" Twisting my body, so I am face to face with her, I cup her cheek and use my thumb to wipe away her tears. "The last six months have been killin' me, Little Bird. When you left, you took my soul with you. I love you, Grace." By the time I finish pouring my heart out, which is something I don't ever fuckin' do, but this woman has me by the damn balls. "Are you done running? Are you ready to come home?" I ask once more.
Choking past her emotions, "Yes, I want to come home."
A couple hours later I'm lying in bed watching the rise and fall of Grace's chest. It's almost like my mind won't allow me to sleep, because if I do, I'll wake to find her gone. Shifting beside me, Grace rolls to her side facing away from me and the sheet covering her body falls below her waist exposing her bare shoulders and torso to me. And what I see peeking from beneath the sheet has all the air leaving my lungs. Scars. Some so bad the skin is slightly raised. Some are criss-crossed and some...fuck. Grace was whipped. That's exactly what her back is covered in. Scars caused by someone taking what I'm guessing is a belt to her. Lifting the sheet, I let my eyes travel down and I see more of the same thing on her lower back. Dread settles in my stomach because I know in this moment that my woman, this beautiful, amazing and caring woman knows abuse.
6
Grace
I lay in bed motionless as I feel Jake gently slide the sheets further down my body exposing my back. I hear the sharp intake of his breath as he takes in my scars from years of abuse. A lone tear falls down my cheek and across my upper lip when I feel his fingertip softly trace over my flesh. He pulls my body tight against his and wraps his strong protective arms around me. I take in a deep cleansing breath and soak in his warmth, thankful in the way he gives me the comfort I need without saying a single word.
Confessing so much of my past was easier than I thought it would be once I let the first few words cross my lips. Jake makes me feel safe in the way he handles himself. Giving me my space helped me feel like I wasn’t backed into a corner with anywhere to go. However, I haven’t told him all of it, and it is eating me up inside. I want so much to give him the whole story, but I'm hesitant to confide in him completely. I'm holding onto a secret that may turn out to be a deal breaker. I know what he wants. Jake has made his feelings known from the beginning. I know what I want too-happiness. I wish that with him. You would think I could rationalize all that has happened between us and move forward. Instead, I feel stuck. My feet and hands bound tight by my past, and my fears.
Several hours later, I lay here on the couch tucked into Jake's side watching one of the two movies we picked up while in town earlier today, trying to muster more courage to finish telling him the rest of my story. He said he's staying for the weekend and wants me to come back to Polson with him tomorrow. I don’t know if I can do that. I want desperately to believe he can and will love me forever. I'm so flustered with myself. I don’t want to feel this way-all mixed up inside. I want Jake. I'll even admit I love him, just not out loud. I can't bring myself to say those three words he wants to hear. Not yet.
I need to take control of my life. I need to take back what Ronan had beaten out of me for years. Courage. Strength. I need to find myself. I count my breaths. I can do this. I'm ready to tell him everything.
Instead, I fall asleep.
Feeling my body become weightless I open my eyes, and my face is buried in Jake's chest. Gripping his bare chest, I mumble something along the lines of, "I didn’t mean to fall asleep."
Jake's chest ripples with a chuckle, "I was enjoying your soft snore too much to wake you," he tells me carrying me down the hall.
I moan, "You were too warm. Your body heat was soothing." I smile as he places me on the bed. "What time is it?" I ask.
"Past midnight."
Crap. I slept right through my scheduled time to call Glory. I'll hear it in the morning. It's weird sharing my bed again. Snuggling is even more foreign. Ronan didn’t like to be touched when he slept. Once he got what he wanted from me, he would roll over with his back to me and go to sleep. There was never any intimacy or physical connection between us before or after sex. Not one bit of foreplay. Sometimes I got off. Most times I didn’t. I started to think something was wrong with me. Back when I had girlfriends they talked about orgasms all the time. My friends boasted about their out of body experiences. It was never like that for me. I honest to God believed either my friends were stretching the truth and the movies and many books I've read glorified the whole thing. Jake changed my entire perception of sex last night. Over the past two years, I've craved Jake's touch. I imagined how his large calloused hands would feel on my body. I feel my face heat just thinking about it. I swear he knows my body better than I remember it myself.
"Jake, I want to tell you something," I yawn so hard my eyes water.
"I'm sure it can wait until later, beautiful," he pulls the blankets over us and pulls my body against his. Wiggling, I find the nook of his body I was tucked against before. As I quickly drift back off to sleep, I hear Jake softly say, "I love you."
* * *
Both of us not in any hurry to leave the bed we watch the morning sunbeams creeping across my bedroom wall. Silence hangs between us. Not because there isn’t anything to say, but because so much can be said in a moment of silence. Before Jake leaves going back to Polson, I need to tell him what I planned on saying last night. Rolling to my side, I open my mouth ready to lay everything out in the open.
My cell phone ringing breaks the silence. Reaching my arm across Jake's chest, I grab my phone from the nightstand. Only two people have my number. Sweeping my finger across the screen, I talk into the phone
, "Hello."
"Anna." Glory's panic filled voice vibrates in my ear.
"Glory, what wrong?" I ask her cutting my eyes to Jake whose face quickly morphs into concern.
"She's gone. Remi isn’t here. I've been all over the house, and even outside. I can't find her," her voice wails as she starts to cry.
My heart sinks like a brick to the bottom of my stomach. My first thought-Ronan found her. Darting out of bed, I start gathering my discarded clothes from the floor. My worst fears keep repeating themselves in my mind as I frantically slip some shoes on my feet.
"Grace, what the…Tell me what's happening, baby." Jake begins yanking his jeans on and slips his feet into his boots.
I run down the short hallway and snatch my purse from the counter and fumble looking inside for my car key. Hot on my heels, Jake grabs my arm stopping my forward motion as I head towards the front door. The move causes my body to freeze, and I have to remind myself this is Jake grabbing a hold of me. I lift my head and look at him, tears pooling in my eyes.
"Slow down, Little Bird. Stop running, and tell me what's going on," he urges me never letting go.
"I don't have time..." a light knock at my door stops my words of explanation. Before I can reach for the handle, Jake has my body tucked behind him and flings the door open. Jake's demeanor changes and I feel his body relax.
"Kind of early to be out selling cookies?" Jake remarks keeping me in place.
"I'm not a cookie pusher. I'm here to see my mom," The young voice sarcastically answers back.
"You got the wrong address, sweetheart." he quickly responds, the same time I let out a gasp and cover my mouth in shock. Pushing Jake to the side, I brush past him.
"Oh my god! Remi, what the hell?" Relief washes over me as I embrace her.
She quickly wraps her arms around my waist and hugs me back, "I really wanted your homemade cinnamon rolls?" She jokingly replies. The girl can't take anything seriously. Most the time I look past her humor because that's how she deals with stress, but I can't ignore it this time. All joking aside I pull back and give her a stern look. "What the hell were you thinking? Your aunt just called frantic to the point of hyperventilating." Remi hangs her head for a moment to hide her face. Scolding her isn’t something I like to do, but I won't tolerate this type of behavior from her, and she knows it. Lifting her head, she opens her mouth with what I assume is an apology. Instead, she looks over my shoulder and smirks.
"Who's the guy, Mom?"
Oh, my God, I forgot about Jake. I plant my face in the palm of my hand.
"Wait," she pauses, "Is this Jake? You know the biker guy you and Aunt Glory talk about all the time." Remi continues to stare past me.
Heat spreads across my cheeks. Turning I face Jake, and pull Remi into my side, "Remi, this is Jake." Letting a brief pause hang in the air I release the next words on an exhale. "Jake, meet Remi; my daughter."
Sighing heavily, he runs his hand through his hair quickly trying to process the significant bombshell that landed in his lap. I was planning on telling him. This morning, as a matter of fact. I damn sure didn’t want him to find out like this. I grab my daughters hand, close the door and lead her to sit on the couch. Removing her backpack, she drops it to the floor and plops down. I wish Jake would say something. Anything. I sit next to my daughter and hold her hand. "Jake, I'm sorry. Let me explain." My voice trembles with fear that he will leave. Reading me like an open book he calms my nerves.
"I'm not going anywhere, and you and I can talk about this later. I know you have your reasons, Little Bird." Striding to the kitchen, Jake opens the fridge grabbing a soda from inside. Walking back, he hands it to Remi. She cranes her neck looking at him and gives him a small glare. Her attempt to intimidate him.
"You like my mom?" she continues her stare.
I do my best to hide my smile and suppress a giggle caused by her behavior. She may look like me, but that’s as far as it goes. Remi has fire and grit. I'm all for her speaking her truth and expressing herself as long as she is respectful about it. She reminds me a lot of my own mother.
Jake, however, doesn’t hide his amusement, which doesn’t go over too well with my overprotective daughter. Letting go of my hand, she crosses her arms, and throws herself into the back of the couch. I can tell Remi is slightly nervous when she begins to twirl her hair with her fingers. She doesn’t know how to take Jake, and like me, she doesn’t trust people. "How did you get here, Remi?" I finally ask her.
Like it's no big deal, my daughter shrugs her shoulder. "A bus. There was one leaving super early this morning. I made sure it would make it here before Aunt Glory found me missing," she looks at me, "I left her a note."
"Well, unfortunately, she didn’t see it. Either way, you're twelve years old. You can't go hopping buses at midnight whenever you please. Where did you get the money for a bus ticket anyway?" I continue to grill her. Dammit, she knows better than this.
She sighs, "I took money from Aunt Glory's wallet, but I promise I'll pay it back somehow," she quickly confesses.
"Damn right you will young lady. You may not have the ideal life right now, but you’ve never wanted for anything. I didn’t raise you to steal," I scold her.
"Two years, Mom. TWO. I want to be with you." My heart breaks with every word she says.
"Your dad is still out there looking for us. At least this way if he finds me he won't find you, Remi. I don’t like it either. I'm only keeping you safe the best way I know how." Throwing herself into my arms my daughter buries her face in my chest. I hate the pain she's feeling. I feel it too. Sniffling she pulls away, "Mom, I'm really tired. I haven’t slept in hours." Remi wipes at her eyes with the sleeve of her cotton hoodie.
"Okay, come with me. While I put some fresh sheets on the bed, you can call your aunt and let her know you're alright and apologize for the money. Got it?" I stand her up and lead her to my room. I pause next to Jake, who hasn’t interrupted or said a word.
"Take care of your daughter first, then come talk to me. I'm gonna step outside for a minute," Jake informs me.
With a weak smile, I turn away and lead Remi to the extra room down the hall.
"I know. I'm sorry," Remi says to Glory on the phone, while I finish making up the small twin bed for her. Ending the call, my daughter stands from sitting cross-legged on the floor. The small bedroom only has a bed in it because it’s the size of a closet. Nothing else could fit in here if you tried.
"I'm sorry there's no TV in here, Peanut," I tell her.
Climbing under the cover she lays her head on the pillow, "I've got my phone. My music is all I need," she yawns again.
Reaching out I brush my fingers through her hair like I have since she was born and sigh, "Promise me you won't go and do something stupid like this again," I tell her.
"I'm twelve. I've got years of poor decisions to make."
I give her a look. We all know the 'Mom' look. The one that says you'd better check yourself. The one where she draws the line and dares you to cross it.
"Fine. I promise," she says rolling her eyes.
"Get some sleep. I'll see if Jake will run to the store for me. I'll cook you those cinnamon rolls you were so eager to have," I kiss her forehead.
Smiling she closes her eyes. "Thanks, Mom."
I leave her room, closing the door behind me and walk outside to find Jake sitting in the one plastic lawn chair right outside my front door. "Hey," I whisper.
"Come here," Jake pulls me to sit on his lap. "She looks just like you, freckles and all."
"Jake, I'm sorry. I was planning on telling you this morning."
"Two years, babe. That’s a hard pill to swallow…"
Before he finishes with what I assume is rejection, I interrupt him, "I understand if this changes everything. I lied. A lot. I can't say that I'm sorry. I did all of it to protect her. I'd do it again in a heartbeat," I rush to say in my defense.
"Look at me." Jake demands his voice rough, and raw with held back e
motions. "She's not a deal breaker. Allow me to feel and process all this but know I'm not runnin' away. I want us. Remi is yours, so that now makes her mine, Little Bird. I know you've been through a lot, and I know it will take time, but you have to learn I'm nothing like the piece of shit you married."
He's right. Jake is nothing like Ronan.
Calm washes over me. Deciding it's now or never, I choose to follow my heart. Placing my palm on his cheek, I tell him, "I love you."
7
Jake
I wake the next morning to the smell of coffee and the sounds of Grace shuffling around in the kitchen. Sitting up on the sofa, I toss the blanket aside and stifle a yawn with my fist. With Grace's daughter showing up yesterday, I felt it was best to sleep out here in the living room.
The kid is smart, and I believe she suspects her mother and I are together, but I have enough respect for my woman and her daughter to set some boundaries until we've had a chance to talk with her and see where her head is at on everything that is going on. The last thing I want is to start off on the wrong foot with Remi and ruin any chance of building some sort of trust with her.
Finding out Grace has a kid has thrown me for a fuckin' loop. I'm not mad at her for not telling me though. I agree one hundred percent with the decision she made with Remi. I can't imagine the pain she must have been going through the past couple of years not having her daughter with her, not seeing her every day. A parent will go through hell and suffer to keep their child from harm, and that is exactly what Grace has done. Seeing how brave and strong she is has made me love her more than I already do if that's even possible.
And on top of all that Grace assumed her having a daughter and keeping it secret would be a deal breaker for me. I told her yesterday it wasn't, but I intend to talk with her this morning to make myself clearer. I don't want her to have a shred of doubt in her head about my feelings on the situation.
UNBREAKABLE_The Kings of Retribution MC Page 5