Beautifully Broken Life

by Catherine Cowles

  Tessa was letting me in. And, God, it was so beautiful.

  Tessa’s violet eyes caught fire then, sparking with a heat that had my blood simmering. She brushed her lips against mine, hands running through my hair, tugging on the strands. “Take me to bed.”

  33

  Tessa

  My heart hammered against my ribs, but it wasn’t from fear or even nervousness, it was from anticipation. I wasn’t sure why it took everything falling apart for my trust to slide into place, but I guess that’s how things worked sometimes. It took my life breaking apart, the one I’d thought I wanted with Garrett, for me to start building the beautiful one I had now. It wasn’t perfect, but it was real. And perfection was overrated anyway.

  Liam’s eyes widened. “Are you sure? A lot has happened in the past couple days—”

  I cut him off with a deep kiss. “I’m sure.”

  Liam’s arms tightened around me as he picked me off my feet. I wrapped my legs around him, laughing as he took the stairs two at a time as though I weighed nothing.

  He pushed open my door, sending it flying into the wall, and making Trouble run for his kitty climbing tree cave. Liam closed the door behind him with a booted foot and carried me to the bed. He laid me down carefully—so gently it made my heart hurt.

  I stared up at Liam. Strands of hair swept down on one side of his face, framing his hazel eyes. Irises that seemed to blaze just a bit brighter as he gazed down at me. I watched in fascination as his strong hands started to unbutton his shirt, hands that I was going to feel all over my body.

  I shivered as Liam’s shirt fell to the floor and he toed off his boots. My heart skipped a beat as my eyes traced his upper body. His skin, still sun-kissed from his time in California, seemed to glow in the early morning light.

  I reached out a hand, needing to feel that flesh beneath my hands. Liam leaned over me, granting me access. My fingertips began to tingle just before they touched his chest as if they knew they were about to experience a feast for the senses.

  I trailed my hands lightly over Liam’s pecs. Soft skin with just a dusting of hair tickled the pads of my fingers. I kept exploring, circling Liam’s nipples that seemed to grow harder under my touch, then lower to those abs that seemed to defy nature.

  I met Liam’s gaze. “You’re beautiful.”

  He grinned down at me. “I prefer ruggedly handsome, but I’ll take beautiful.”

  Liam swept his mouth across mine, just a soft brush, but the promise of what was to come sent heat flooding through my veins. He pulled back and traced my lips with his thumb. “These lips. So pink. So perfect. I’ve wanted them on my body since the first time I saw them.”

  I sucked in a breath, and my core tightened at the thought of all the places my lips might travel. Liam’s eyes flared when my mouth parted on that inhale. His hands left my face and skimmed under my shirt, lifting as he went. The pads of his fingertips, roughened from all the time spent playing the guitar, created delicious sensations across my skin.

  I lifted my hands over my head, helping Liam ease off my shirt. He let out a groan. “No bra?”

  My cheeks heated. “You started pounding on my door when I had just gotten out of the shower, I didn’t have a lot of time.”

  Liam’s gaze shot to my yoga pants, his hands following. He ran his thumb lightly over the seam in my pants, and my hips bowed off the bed. “Fuck, you’re bare here, too, aren’t you?”

  My teeth pressed into my bottom lip and I nodded. Liam cursed. “I need to see all of you. Can I?” His hands paused at the waistband of my yoga pants.

  “Yes.” The word came out as half whisper, half pant.

  Liam slowly pulled the spandex down my legs until he was kneeling before me, gazing down the length of my body. “You are so fucking beautiful, it almost hurts to look at you.”

  My chest constricted. Liam looked at me with such reverence. He didn’t touch for a long moment, just stared as though he were committing every detail of my body to memory.

  I couldn’t take it anymore. My skin was on fire, and I needed to feel him against me, inside me, everywhere he could be. “Touch me. Please.”

  It was all Liam needed. He unbuttoned his jeans, shucking them with a speed that was shocking, and then he covered my body with his own. His hands framed my face first. “I love you. And what you’re giving me right now…trusting me with your body… It’s the most precious fucking gift.”

  My eyes began to fill. “Don’t make me cry.”

  Liam smiled and took my lips with his. The kiss was slow, and he spent all the time in the world exploring my mouth, infusing my taste with his own. It was sexy as hell. Liam rolled to his side so that he was pressed up against me, his erection digging into my hip in a way that made my thighs tingle with anticipation.

  Liam raised himself up, resting his head on one arm so that he could watch while his other hand explored. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and then trailed his digits lower, the roughened fingertips leaving goosebumps in their wake.

  He ran a single finger down the column of my throat and along my collarbone. It dipped into the valley of my chest before Liam changed directions and palmed a breast in his hand. He circled my nipple with his thumb, and I pressed my head back into the mattress, letting out a moan.

  “Does that feel good?” Liam’s voice was rough, just like the skin of his fingertips, sending shivers down my spine.

  “So good.” I let out another moan as he rolled my nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

  Liam kept up the motion, sending zaps of sensation through my nerve endings. “I want to make you come just like this.”

  I let out a garbled sound of frustration. That would take too long. “More.”

  Liam chuckled. “Okay, I’ll give you more.” He slipped from the bed, and I wanted to cry out at the loss of his heat, of his body pressed against mine. He kneeled between my legs at the end of the bed, and with a single tug, pulled me to the edge of the mattress.

  My instinct was to close my legs, but I couldn’t, Liam’s shoulders kept them apart. He grasped my thighs, staring so damn intently at my center. He softly stroked circles on my inner thighs. “Every inch of you is gorgeous.”

  I sucked in a breath. “I, um, I’ve never done this before.” Liam’s gaze shot to mine. “I mean, I’ve had sex, but, uh…not this.”

  Liam’s eyes blazed with anger for a brief moment before softening. “I love that I’m the first man who gets to give you this.” A wicked grin tipped his beautiful mouth. “You’re going to love it.”

  My stomach dipped and tightened. Liam ran his lips up the inside of my thigh, a mixture of kissing, licking, sucking, and nipping. I could never predict the touch that would come next, and each one drove my body into a riot of sensations.

  Liam stilled for a moment just before he reached where I wanted him most. His thumbs parted me. My heart picked up its pace, tripping over itself in its erratic rhythm. Liam inhaled deeply, and I stilled. “You smell so fucking good.”

  My cheeks heated, and my body shuddered, Liam’s words sending a rush of wetness between my thighs. Liam’s tongue began to explore, and as he got closer to that bundle of nerves, my breaths came quicker and quicker. He circled my clit, and I moaned.

  The sound turned into a groan as a single finger entered me. Liam lazily stroked me as his tongue drew circles around my clit. Closer and closer. Without warning, his lips covered that bundle of nerves, sucking deeply.

  I exploded. It was as though my body burst into a million particles and just floated through the air until I came back to myself.

  Liam continued lazily stroking me, watching me with intensity. “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, watching you come.”

  I squeezed my legs around him. “I didn’t know something could feel that good.”

  Liam grinned. “We’re just getting started.”

  My body shivered. “I want you inside me.”

  Liam’s grin widened. “Your wish i
s my command.” He stood, dragging me just a bit farther down the bed. He gripped my thighs, his tip bumping my entrance. “Fuck. I don’t have a condom.”

  I bit my bottom lip. “I’m clean, and I have an IUD.”

  Liam leaned over me, brushing his lips against mine. “I’m clean, too.” He pulled back, studying my face. “Are you sure?”

  I latched my legs around his back. “I’m sure. I need you.”

  Liam’s tip was at my opening again, just the tease of him felt like heaven. Slowly, so very slowly, he entered me. Stretching me. He was so big, the sensation almost to the point of pain but stopping just shy.

  Liam let out a guttural groan as he bottomed out. “Better than anything I could imagine.” He gazed down, cupping my face. “You okay?”

  I nodded. “Just give me a second.”

  Liam bent over me, his mouth caressing mine, his tongue slipping between my lips. The heat of the kiss eased my muscles, lessening the stretch. Liam’s hand palmed my breast, circling my nipple with a rough thumb. The inferno grew, sparking my nerve endings.

  I deepened the kiss before retreating. “Move, please move.”

  Liam did as I asked. At first, the movements were slow. The ridges of his cock dragging against my inner walls, stoking the flames higher. Liam picked up his pace, each thrust sending me closer to the edge. My core tightened, and Liam cursed, his thrusts reaching a frenzied pace. He reached between our bodies and thumbed my clit.

  That was all it took. I tipped over the edge in a cascade of sensations. My core gripped him so tightly, I had the fleeting thought that it must have been painful. Liam thrust deep, one more time, and released into me.

  He collapsed on the bed, rolling so that I was on top of him. We lay there. Silent. Slick with sweat. Heat rolling off our bodies in waves. Liam pressed his lips to my temple.

  I listened to the rapid drumming of Liam’s heart. So strong. So fierce. “I didn’t know it could be like that.” Tears pricked at my eyes. “That I could feel that much.”

  Liam’s arms wrapped tighter around me, his lips ghosting across my brow. “Tessa, I am going to make it my mission for you to feel that much as often as possible.”

  My body relaxed, soaking up Liam’s warmth, his words. His love.

  I sat cuddled between Liam’s thighs, Trouble on my lap. We’d showered, eaten breakfast, and now were back in bed.

  Liam kissed the top of my head. “We need to talk about what’s next.” I stiffened. Liam wrapped his arms more tightly around me. “We’re going to figure this out, it’ll be okay.”

  I took a deep breath. “I think I need to talk to Walker and see if I can file a restraining order.” It scared me to death, the idea that Garrett would know where to find me. The knowledge that legal action would cause a rage in him that no one would be able to control. But if I wanted a shot at this beautiful life with Liam, I had to take a chance. I couldn’t live in the shadows anymore.

  Liam kissed my temple, and then his lips traveled down to my ear. “I’ll be with you every step of the way. We can get security up here if you want. Whatever you need to feel safe.”

  I shuddered, knowing I’d never be able to trust a stranger tasked with my safety. And it would feel too much like the jail of my past, being constantly watched and studied. “I’d rather not have security. Just having you by my side makes me feel safe.”

  Liam smiled against the side of my face. “I’m going to be stuck to you like glue. You’ll probably get sick of me.”

  I wiggled my butt against him. “I don’t know, you have some handy uses.”

  Liam groaned in my ear. “Please don’t make me hard before we go talk to Walker.”

  I laughed. “All right, I’ll wait till we’re home.”

  Liam nipped at my ear lobe. “I like the sound of that.” He nuzzled my neck. “You want to go now?”

  I pressed my lips together and nodded. “Yeah, I just need to let Jensen know what I’m doing. She said she was going to get Taylor to help out downstairs for a few days so I could lay low, but I don’t want to hide anymore.”

  Liam squeezed me tighter. “You never have to hide again.”

  I kissed the bottom of Liam’s jaw, and he released me. I pushed off the mattress, keeping Trouble cradled in one arm and then depositing him on his kitty climbing tree. I turned to face Liam, who was studying me as he put on his boots. “I just need to check one thing.”

  Liam’s brow furrowed. “Okay.”

  I found my bag in its usual spot by the door, ready to be grabbed at a moment’s notice. I wouldn’t need that anymore, I was standing my ground. For the first time in a long time, I was fighting back. But I did need something from inside.

  I stuck my hand in, feeling around until my fingers found the envelope I needed. I pulled it out, nausea sweeping over me at the idea of anyone seeing the photos. I clutched them to my chest, breathing deeply, waiting for the roiling in my stomach to pass.

  A hand touched my shoulder, and I jumped. Liam’s concerned eyes filled my gaze. “Are you sure you’re ready for this? We can wait.”

  I straightened my shoulders. “Two years ago, my life was a broken mess. I’ve been slowly putting it back together piece by piece, but I haven’t let myself have the things that truly make life worth living. I’m ready now.”

  Liam pressed his lips to my forehead. “Sometimes, it takes life breaking apart for it to get you where you’re truly meant to be.” His eyes bored into mine, emotion filling them.

  “I wouldn’t change any of it. It was hell on Earth while it was happening, but it made me who I am today. And I like that person. She’s not perfect, but she’s strong and kind and she’s the woman you fell in love with. I wouldn’t want to be anyone else.”

  Liam tugged me to him. “You’re everything to me.”

  I tipped up my head so that my chin rested on his sternum. “Let’s go reclaim my life.”

  34

  Liam

  I laced my fingers with Tessa’s as we walked up the steps to the police station. I’d texted Walker, and he’d said that he’d be waiting. I glanced down at Tessa. I was so damn proud of her. Walker would help. I wasn’t sure what the specific steps would be, but we would figure it out.

  I pulled open the door to the department, placing a hand on Tessa’s back and ushering her through. Walker was talking to the clerk at the front desk and turned at the sound of the door. “Hey there. Why don’t we head back to my office?”

  Tessa’s fingers gripped mine in a tight hold. I began tracing circles on the back of her hand, trying to ease her in any way I could. “That sounds good. Thanks for making time for us, Walk.”

  Walker jerked up his chin and led us towards his office. “No problem.” He pushed open a door and gestured towards the two chairs in front of his desk. “Have a seat.”

  I glanced around the space. It was simple, utilitarian. But it had a few personal touches. A photo of Walker’s family, another of Taylor and Walker, and a mug that read World’s Best Uncle. It was enough to put anyone who came into the office at ease that this was a real man who would understand their problems.

  Walker settled behind his desk as Tessa and I took a seat. “So, you ready to tell me what’s going on?”

  I looked to Tessa, unsure if she wanted me to start or her. Tessa released her hold on my hand. Her skin was paler than usual, but her jaw had a determined set to it. She took a deep breath. “My name isn’t really Tessa.”

  It was more of a blow than I’d thought it would be, the fact that I’d been calling her a name that wasn’t her own. It made logical sense that she wouldn’t be using her birth name, but it still smarted.

  Tessa pressed on. “Well, it’s not my legal name.” She looked at me, eyes pleading for understanding. “But it’s the name I chose for myself when I started over.”

  The grip on my chest eased. I knew this woman, who she really was. And that woman had given herself the name Tessa. It didn’t matter what was on her birth certificate.

/>   Walker cleared his throat. “And what were you starting over from?”

  Tessa’s hand that wasn’t holding the envelope fisted. “I was running away from an abusive fiancé.”

  Walker’s jaw hardened. “I’m so sorry, Tessa.”

  Tessa straightened her shoulders. “I’m away from him now, and that’s what matters.”

  Walker nodded. “Did you have a restraining order in place back home?”

  Tessa shook her head. “I went to the police once.” Her cheeks reddened, not with her usual adorable embarrassment but with anger. “My ex is very well connected in the political and legal fields. The police didn’t believe me. In a matter of hours, my ex had them convinced I was having a breakdown and that he was going to get me medical help.”

  Walker cursed, and I gripped the arms of my chair so hard, I worried I might snap them off.

  Tessa stared down at her hands and the envelope in her lap. “I didn’t have anyone I could go to for help. He’d slowly cut me off from everyone in my life. The only person I had was my hairstylist.” Tears filled her eyes, and I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out to comfort her. I leaned over and kissed her temple, running a hand up and down her spine.

  Tessa gave me a watery smile. “Her name is Gena. And she’s amazing. She helped me escape.” Tessa turned back to Walker. “I took trains and busses until I got to Sutter Lake.”

  Walker’s brows pulled together. “Why here?”

  A wistfulness filled Tessa’s expression. “I grew up in the foster system. My mom died during childbirth. I only have a couple things of hers, but one was a postcard from Sutter Lake. When I was making a run for it, one of my options was Portland. I took it as a sign.”

  Walker pulled out a pen and a pad of paper. “Does your ex know where you are now?”

  Tessa shook her head vehemently. “No. That’s what’s kept me safe for this long.” She snuck a peek back at me. “But it’s come to my attention that my life has been somewhat on hold. I don’t want to hide anymore. I want to fight.”