They eyed each other warily. ‘I’m sorry,’ she offered, because it felt as if she should apologise.
He gave an emphatic shake of his head. ‘The first lesson in PD101 is to never apologise for something that isn’t your fault. This isn’t anyone’s fault. Never apologise for being honest.’
‘PD?’
‘Personal Development.’
That sounded much grander than a makeover plan. ‘Personal development,’ she murmured. ‘I like it.’ With that she started to edge away. She might have finally screwed her head on right, but it didn’t counter the effect of Cade’s continued proximity. Her body clamoured for the feel of him, the touch of his lips and hands—his hardness pressed tight against her softness. And rather than diminishing, it was starting to increase. ‘I’ll...um...say goodnight then.’
‘Nicola?’
She turned at the question, adrift between him and the French windows to her bedroom. She clasped her hands together tightly.
‘When you said you wanted to go into marriage with a clear head, what did you mean?’
She didn’t move back towards him. That would be foolish. With the moon behind him, and from this distance, she couldn’t see his face clearly. ‘From what I’ve seen of relationships, there are those who do the giving and those who do the taking. Until now I’ve been one of the givers. In the future I’m going to be a taker. I mean to get precisely what I want out of any marriage.’
‘Take the poor sod to the cleaners, so to speak?’ The air whistled between his teeth. ‘Thank God you called a halt to things just then. They could’ve gotten darn messy.’
And just like that he’d made her laugh. ‘Don’t worry, Cade. You would never have made it into my sights.’ He was a lot of things, but a poor sod wasn’t one of them. ‘Given all you’ve been through, I doubt you’d ever want to dip your toe in matrimonial waters again.’
‘Damn right.’
‘So I wouldn’t have made the elementary mistake of thinking you were available.’
He shifted. She still couldn’t see his face clearly. ‘It seems to me that if your main reason for marrying is to have children, you could dispense with the middleman and use IVF instead. No point in putting yourself in a miserable relationship with a man you would neither respect or trust.’
She stilled. ‘You know, you’ve got a point there.’ She could dispense with the mess of romance for good. It was an intriguing idea. ‘Goodnight, Cade.’ She turned and headed for her room. This time he didn’t call her back.
* * *
Cade didn’t waste any time, he got to work on his side of the bargain the very next day. Nicola’s opinion of the human race was at an understandable low and he didn’t want to add to it. He wanted to prove to her that some people did keep their promises.
While she was busy outside with all four children playing some game that involved a lot of running, a lot of freezing and a whole lot of laughing, he dragged his mother and Delia into the kitchen, where Harry was preparing lunch.
Verity Hindmarsh glanced out of the window, attracted by the laughter of the children, and smiled. ‘Nicola is a gem.’
‘That she is,’ Harry huffed.
‘Awfully quiet, though,’ Delia mused. ‘But wonderful with Jamie and Simon.’
Jamie and Simon had recently turned five and had the kind of energy that could make Cade dizzy just watching them. Dee was enjoying the advantage of having another person to help out with them. Not that Cade blamed her or begrudged her, but he meant to make sure Nicola didn’t get lumped with more than her fair share of the work.
‘Nicola is what I want to talk to you about.’ As one they turned to survey him. He did his best not to fidget. ‘I found out recently that it’s not just the Outback she’s never experienced, but a big family Christmas. It’s just her and her mother who is rather over-critical, from what I can make out.’
Harry stopped chopping salad vegetables to glance out of the window. ‘Well, now, that makes sense. Probably why she’s got such a bee in her bonnet about exercising and losing weight.’
At the words ‘losing weight’, Harry instantly had the other two women’s attention.
‘She tried jogging around the property in the early morning, but...’ she flicked a glance at Cade ‘...but that didn’t work out so well. So Cade set her up in Fran’s old home gym.’
He didn’t know why, when all three women turned to look at him, he wanted to roll his shoulders and back out of the room. ‘Someone may as well use it,’ he mumbled. ‘She’s no gym junkie, though.’
Harry sliced through a lettuce with evident satisfaction. ‘So when he found out she’d always wanted to learn to ride, he set her up with Jack for lessons each morning.’
‘That was a lovely thing to do,’ his mother said. While he was no longer a seven-year-old, he found himself momentarily basking in the warmth of her approval. The kind of approval it seemed that Nicola had never received. ‘But why aren’t you teaching her yourself?’
That wasn’t something he was prepared to get into. ‘She and Jack have hit it off. He’s enjoying it.’
‘And Jack’s not getting any younger,’ Harry observed.
‘He’s still more than capable of putting in a full day’s work.’
‘Darling—’ his mother laid a hand on his arm, her eyes warm with a mixture of relief and delight ‘—I thought we’d lost you for ever after everything Fran did, but I can see now that’s not the case. I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you being your old self again.’
Fran’s betrayal had left a mark that would never go away. It had killed something inside him. But for Ella and Holly’s sake, he’d had to pull himself together. It occurred to him now just how much he’d put these three women through in the last year or so, but they’d stood beside him through it all. He glanced out of the window. He was lucky.
‘I know it’s been a bit of a long haul.’ He grimaced. ‘I’m sorry if I—’
‘No apologies necessary,’ his mother cut in. ‘Just tell me you’re over the worst of it.’
He nodded. ‘I’m through with looking back and trying to work out where it went wrong. I’m not sure I’ll ever understand why Fran did what she did, but it’s time to look towards the future. From here on it’s onwards and upwards.’
‘And does a particular pretty nanny have anything to do with that?’ Delia asked archly.
‘For God’s sake, Dee, not everything is about sex and romance,’ he muttered in disgust.
Dee didn’t look convinced.
‘She’s a bit of a lost soul is all and I thought we might be able to...’
She cocked a wicked eyebrow again. ‘To?’
He refused to rise to the bait. ‘To make her feel at home here. To take her under our wing and...and make her feel better about herself.’
‘I think that’s a lovely plan,’ his mother said.
Cade shrugged and then glared at his sister. ‘One thing’s for sure, Nicola certainly doesn’t think she’s pretty, and she thinks she’s fat.’
Verity sighed. ‘Don’t we all.’
Harry snorted. ‘And some of us are a bit on the heavy side, but I know my worth.’
Dee had gone to the window. ‘She is pretty, but in a quieter way than Fran’s flashiness.’
He didn’t like the way she spoke about Nicola and Fran in the same sentence. It seemed wrong somehow. He didn’t say anything, though. He could just imagine what Dee would make of it if he did.
‘A haircut,’ she said, suddenly swinging back to face them. ‘Something that would make the most of her eyes. Mum?’
Verity hadn’t trained as a hairdresser, but she had a knack for it. When she’d lived at Waminda Downs all the station women in a three hundred kilometre radius would come to get their hair done by her.
Dee touched her hair. ‘I brought along a couple of bottles of permanent colour and a highlighting kit. I was hoping you’d do my hair for me while we were here, but we can use it on Nicola instead.’
He glanced from one to the other. They wanted to change her hair colour? There was nothing wrong with her hair.
Verity joined Dee at the window. ‘I believe I know the exact style that would suit her.’
‘Those clothes,’ Dee sighed.
‘Far too baggy,’ her mother agreed.
Harry winked at him. ‘Sounds like our Nic’s in good hands.’
She wasn’t his anything. He wanted that crystal-clear, but...
‘I don’t want you bullying her into something she doesn’t want.’
His mother swung around. ‘Of course not, darling. Harry, can you look after the children for a couple of hours this afternoon? Dee and I will help with dinner in return.’
‘No probs at all.’
‘And I don’t want you wrecking her.’ He thrust his jaw out. ‘She’s not a Barbie doll. Don’t go making her look all plastic and...and fake.’
Like Fran. The words hung in the air.
The three women exchanged glances but didn’t say anything.
‘And...and don’t make her feel like a charity case either.’ She’d hate that and he didn’t want to do anything that would make her feel uncomfortable. He hadn’t broken her confidence about her two-timing fiancé and back-stabbing girlfriend, but he had verbalised his opinion of her mother and he was pretty sure she wouldn’t have appreciated that. He shifted his weight from his heels to the balls of his feet. Now that he had his mother and Dee on board, conversely he wanted to protect Nicola from their ministrations and meddling.
Nicola didn’t need doing over or dollying up. As far as he was concerned, she was perfect the way she was. She was brilliant with his kids. She made them laugh but, more importantly, she made them feel secure.
And she kissed like an angel. Like a bad, bad angel, and just the memory of their kiss had his blood heating up.
‘Darling,’ his mother said, ‘do give us more credit than that.’
His mother was tact personified. And, despite how much she enjoyed teasing her older brother, so was Dee. They were kind, generous women. They wouldn’t do anything to make Nicola feel bad about herself.
He shoved his hands into his pockets. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to suggest... It’s just she’s been so good for Ella and Holly. I owe her for that.’
His mother nodded her understanding. Dee bit her lip. Harry set her knife down and threw him a challenge. ‘You know she still uses that blasted gym each afternoon when she puts the kiddies down for a nap.’
He stiffened. Then he set his shoulders. ‘I’ll think of something,’ he promised. He’d find something else in the exercise line she’d enjoy more.
‘In the meantime, we have this afternoon taken care of,’ Dee said, rubbing her hands together. ‘What fun!’
He glanced around at the three women and a grin full of reluctant admiration tugged at his lips. ‘I should’ve known I could count on you guys.’
CHAPTER FIVE
AT LUNCH, remembering Cade’s words from the previous evening, Nicola made an effort to be friendlier. Poised, self-sufficient and self-possessed was the image she wanted to portray, not stiff, standoffish and unapproachable.
‘Mum,’ Dee said towards the end of the meal, ‘I was hoping you’d give me a haircut this afternoon for old time’s sake, and I’ll set your hair for you.’
‘A girls’ afternoon, darling? Ooh, what fun.’
Unbidden, pain pierced Nicola’s chest, so sharp it almost made her double over. She swallowed back a gasp and lifted Holly out of her high chair to cuddle the child on her lap. The pain shifted and settled in her side like a stitch. She and Diane once had regular girls’ nights. They’d slather on face masks and paint each other’s nails. Sometimes they’d colour each other’s hair. They’d play their music too loud and share their dreams and plans for the future.
They hadn’t had one of those sessions in over six months and it was only now Nicola realised how much she’d missed them. She closed her eyes. Diane was still a dear friend. Maybe when Nicola returned home...
Nausea swirled through her. Diane had listened to all of Nicola’s dreams for the future with Brad. She’d known how much Nicola had yearned for a home and family. She’d known all the hopes Nicola had pinned on Brad. And yet she’d still...
Nicola buried her face in Holly’s hair. There wouldn’t be any more girls’ days. She didn’t want to hear about Diane’s plans for the future with Brad. She wasn’t sure she could stand it.
She shook herself, bounced Holly up and down until the child giggled. She would get over this. She would! In the interests of saving an important friendship. First, though, she needed to put a protective barrier around her heart so she would be able to bear it.
She concentrated on her breathing. Eventually she wouldn’t mind hearing Diane talk about Brad. One day she wouldn’t think twice about seeing them together. One day the sense of betrayal that could still turn her days dark would drain away, leaving nothing more than a faint mark.
She just wished that day would hurry up and arrive.
‘Nicola, darling?’
She snapped to and found Verity smiling at her. She made herself smile back. ‘Yes?’
‘My darling girl, I would just love to get my hands on your hair.’
She would? She touched a self-conscious hand to her hair. These days she just washed it and pulled it back into a ponytail. No fuss. No frills. She suddenly realised she hadn’t been near a hairdresser in over four months.
‘Mum is magic with hair,’ Dee said.
There was no denying that Verity was a very stylish woman. So was Dee, just in a younger, more relaxed way.
‘Take it out of its band for a moment,’ Verity ordered.
She complied. Holly laughed and reached for it. Nicola distracted her with a napkin. Shredded paper was a whole lot less painful than pulled hair.
Verity studied Nicola for a long moment. ‘Hmm...’
Nicola forced herself not to fidget under that gaze, but it occurred to her that she must seem such a frump to these two lovely women. She glanced at Harry for solidarity. Harry’s hair and skin glowed with good health, but the housekeeper was totally unconcerned with her appearance.
Harry shook her head. ‘There’s no denying that Verity has a way with these things. But listen you two...’ She pointed a finger at Verity and Dee. ‘Our Nic isn’t the fussy sort. She won’t want to spend half an hour each morning blow-drying and straightening or curling or any of that other nonsense.’
Lord, no!
And then she realised that Harry had called her ‘our Nic’ and her eyes filled. For a moment she felt as if she belonged.
Verity gave a sudden nod. ‘I would take two to three inches off so your hair sat just above your collarbone and I’d layer it to give it some body and movement.’ She tapped a finger to her lips. ‘And I’d put in a long side fringe. I think it would really make the most of your beautiful eyes.’
‘Oo
h, yes!’ Dee practically danced in her seat. ‘It’d be long enough to still pull back because, whatever anyone says, it’s hellishly hot out here. Ooh, ooh!’ She danced in her seat some more. Her enthusiasm made Nicola laugh. ‘You could scrunch dry it with a bit of mousse and I bet it’d go deliciously curly.’
‘Or, if you wanted, you could blow-dry it for a more formal look,’ Verity said.
‘And I think some light streaks through the crown.’
‘That would be lovely.’
Dee grinned. ‘What do you say, Nicola? A girls’ afternoon would be such fun!’
‘Count me out,’ Harry said promptly.
‘Besides,’ Dee added, ‘you deserve a treat. Since we arrived you’ve taken the boys under your wing and I’ve hardly had to lift a finger. I can’t tell you how much I’ve relished that little holiday.’
Nicola had enjoyed adding Simon and Jamie to her little group. It had been fun. They didn’t need to treat her for doing her job. But...
A new haircut?
Another step towards a new her?
Ella suddenly pouted. ‘You said we could make Christmas decorations this afternoon.’ Simon and Jamie added their protests too.
Nicola pulled her hair back into its ponytail. No matter how alluring the vision of female friendship and a new image promised to be, she was here first and foremost as a nanny. ‘So I did. And I never break a promise.’
Dee grinned at her niece. ‘I’ll make a deal with you, Ella. You get Nicola for the next hour and then...’ She glanced at Harry.
‘And then I’ll drag the paddling pool out and you can all have a splash about,’ the older woman announced.
A cheer went up from Ella, Simon and Jamie. Holly bounced, threw her shredded napkin in the air and sent Nicola a toothy grin. Nicola couldn’t help but smile back with her whole heart.
Cade promptly pushed away from the opposite side of the table, a dazed expression on his face. She’d been aware of him the entire meal, but had done her very best to ignore him. The memory of last night’s kiss was still too vivid...and far too compelling.
The Nanny Who Saved Christmas Page 7