by Jim Musgrave
“I would have appreciated it more if you had given me a clue that you were a pygmy warrior from the Amazon rain forest,” I said. “How long will these two be unconscious?”
“I say, did you realize pygmies are from Africa, and not the Amazon? These rapscallions should be in dreamland for more than three hours. I wish I had my equipment with me. The use of the mandrake root reminded me of the ancient folklore concerning this drug. It was believed that the sperm from hanged men fell upon this root and caused it to grow into a miniature man. The root itself is often shaped into human form. In my job in the future, I was contracted by Her Majesty’s Prison Service to genetically dwarf or miniaturize what I privately called ‘banzai prisoners’ in order to reduce the cost to the government of warehousing felons. If needed, I can also enlarge organisms. Of course, once they had served their terms, I could bring them back to normal size. It’s rather ironic that I was given the same miniaturization treatment by the Society, don’t you think?”
“We really don’t have time to discuss your karmic justice. We can leave this snake-man here. Help me carry Haskins down to the street where I can hail a hackney. She’s still breathing, so we can say we need to take her to Mount Sinai Hospital. Bessie can keep her sedated until Seth can make his duplication of her.” I lifted her upper torso from under her arms, and I nodded to Franklin to take her feet. He did so, and we walked her out of the hotel suite and down the stairs. We got a few stares from passing pedestrians, but we were able to get her inside a cab and on the way to the hospital.
On the ride over to the hospital, I noticed that the city was becoming more active. Men were standing on street corners selling a variety of steam inventions. Most of the vehicles, including bicycles, were now steam-powered. Every building along the streets in the more affluent neighborhoods had the telltale stream of vapor flowing from its innards like a sleeping dragon.
Bessie was able to placed Hester Jane Haskins into a private room inside the hospital. She also gave instructions to continue administering ether to the woman to keep her unconscious. Seth was already waiting inside a private lab to do his magic. I changed into a formal black suit from the late Twentieth Century. Doctor Biggs-Pemberton had personally supervised its tailoring.
I would be portraying Doctor Anthony Rondel-Goodwin from England. Doctor Goodwin was from the year 1899, and he lived on the tiny Japanese island of Hashima, better known as “Battleship Island” because of its unique shape and its business of coal mining. It was located nine miles from Nagasaki, the city that Franklin told us was later destroyed by an American nuclear bomb called “Fat Man” to end the Second World War. Doctor Franklin would also be giving me a genetically altering injection that changed my appearance to that of a much older and distinguished-looking gentleman.
“Rondel-Goodwin’s image comes from the newspapers of the time. I have concocted the perfect morphing DNA cocktail in the laboratory of your temple’s sanctuary. Take a look at how you shall appear,” said the little genetic engineer, and he handed me the portrait of the inventor.
Rondel-Goodwin had gray-streaked, curly-brown hair, and his face was thin, with a sparse goatee on his pointed chin. He also had enormous kidney-shaped ears that stuck out from his head. This Rondel-Goodwin had perfected steam robotics on the island to such a high degree that his variety of “steam men” could work as coal miners, butlers, and even soldiers on the island, and he was seen as its industrial emperor. We came up with such a ruse because Franklin told us he could devise such robots, and we would be able to provide the Steam City Pirates’ leader with an excellent steam man warrior in his quest to have a “test battle” between the best steam men warriors.
Doctor Biggs-Pemberton said he would draw some detailed blue prints of some of these robots for me to show Manette to get him interested. Once he decided to partake in the little fight for money, then I would tell him I could spread the word about this battle all over the world. Men and women of royalty and distinction would travel to America to see such a confrontation, and the profits would all go to the Society and its objectives.
We believed it was quite a clever plan, and I was anxious to get started on it. When Seth Mergenthaler arrived, I almost grabbed him bodily to take him over to where Hester Haskins was sleeping. Instead, I told him about whom I was going to portray, and I asked him whether or not he could reverse-engineer the time travel clock inside Haskins’ bosom to see how it worked.
“If you are going to imitate an inventor, Detective O’Malley, then you must be aware of the fact that we engineers think in terms of how things work together to perform a specific function. It’s as if we can envision the different parts just by looking at the working device and seeing how each of the parts fits together into a complete object of mechanical genius. I would assume you do the same with the cases you work on, correct?” Seth asked, his eyes twinkling under the hospital’s steam-powered gas lights. Bessie had recently bought an entire heating system that also served as a power source for the lighting.
“I think I understand, Seth. Please come with me. You must duplicate this woman now. We have to begin our plan and visit the pirates beneath Central Park,” I said, and took the boy’s hand and led him down the hall and into the private room of Jane the Grabber Haskins.
While I was taking my painful genetic cocktail from Doctor Biggs-Pemberton by injection into my spinal column, it took Seth fifteen minutes to duplicate the body of Hester Haskins. Unlike the drugged woman lying upon the bed, however, this copy of her was our little mazikeen, and he was not asleep. He was fiddling with the time-travel clock inside his bosom.
“Oh, I see. It’s already set to take her immediately back to the caverns beneath the park! When they created this device, the engineers wanted to control this woman. She is completely manipulated by a remote control and has no freedom to wander about. We can go directly to the caverns, Detective. We should have no problem.”
It was quite discombobulating to hear little Seth’s brain emitting the sounds of Jane the Grabber. She was quite attractive, in a dark way, and I wondered if she had once been a moral woman in her youth.
Bessie came up to the Hester Jane Haskins duplicate and gave her a big hug. “Seth, I want you to be careful! Listen to Patrick. He’s been involved in these kinds of investigations before. He’ll get you back safely,” she said, and I could see tears welling in her eyes.
“How will we return from the caverns? We obviously won’t be able to use the time machine,” I said, and I could see that my new appearance was causing some consternation in the others, as they were all staring at me.
Seth finally said, “Good question. I suppose I never informed you, Detective, but my powers do not disappear when I have shifted my form into that of another. Therefore, I shall be able to whisk us both back home by flight. Won’t that be fun?” Seth clapped his female hands together and did a little hop off the floor.
“I should think we should save that method of transportation for emergency situations,” I said. “The Flying Dutchman was a ghost ship of legend, but a flying Irishman could become a ghost if he is shot down,” I added.
“Don’t worry, Detective. I shall take care of you,” said Seth.
“Also, I am worried about Doctor Adler. Ever since we have been associated with Doctor Biggs-Pemberton, he has pulled back from our group. I hope he still believes in our objectives,” I said. As the group’s leader, I felt it was time I called for unity.
“I am sorry, Patrick, but Doctor Adler has not been completely honest with you. You see, as a young man, back in Germany, he was an inventor. In fact, he became so obsessed with his mechanical devices that he believed only science held the promise for humanity. He was, like his father, an atheist. When the government began using his inventions for war, however, he had his spiritual conversion into the rabbinical service. I don’t believe he has ever quite relinquished his love for invention,” said Bessie. “That is why he works with Seth on the time machine and other such activities. He st
ill loves being around his first love. Doctor Adler is, most likely, secretly jealous that you chose Doctor Biggs-Pemberton to create the steam man.”
“Thank you for sharing that, Bessie. Perhaps we can work on his problem when I return,” I told her.
I took Hester Jane Mergenthaler by the hand and walked with her to the center of the room. “Bessie, please keep this woman under sedation. We certainly can’t allow her to escape, or she will return home to the pirates, and we shall all be in immediate danger.”
“Don’t worry, Patrick. This woman will be as entombed as a mummy. I will also post an armed guard inside the room to prevent any skullduggery,” Bessie Mergenthaler was adamant. “God speed you both! We shall continue with our spying activities on your behalf while you are away.”
“All right, Jane the Grabber Mergenthaler. You have now snatched Doctor Anthony Rondel-Goodwin from Japan. Take me to your leader!” I said, and I watched Seth push the “home button” on the time travel clock inside his corset.
I felt a similar vibration that I had experienced with the crystal time machine, and then the lights swirled, and we became part of those light waves. As we traveled, my body felt ephemeral, as if I had transcended into a spirit form, but then I heard a buzzing sound, and the vibration increased until we began to solidify into flesh and blood. When we were finally back into our human bodies, I could see the lighting of the grand entrance to the cave.
The ground beneath my feet gently rocked, as if we were at sea, but I could see a constant flow of steam coming from the floor of the cave. It gave me the distinct impression of walking in a London grave yard. I looked over at Seth as Hester Haskins. She was standing at full attention, her eyes riveted upon something in front of us I could not see.
Out of the mist came the figure I knew very well. It was the herky-jerky mechanical man, and he was coming toward us at a rapid rate of speed despite his angular swaying back and forth. He was also calling out loudly to us.
“Haskins! How did you do it? You were supposed to be on leave until next week. Nobody authorized a departure for you,” said the mechanical man, his arms moving in frantically piston-like motions until he was standing directly in front of us.
This was a development we had not foreseen. I did not know how to respond, and I was hoping Seth’s genius might have some kind of a reasonable answer.
“Doctor Anthony Rondel-Goodwin was already in my memory. They programmed him when the Master wanted information on possible inventors of steam-powered men. I wanted to surprise him with this gentleman. He is the best scientist for this purpose, as you shall all find out shortly,” said Seth the Grabber.
“I am pleased to meet you, sir,” I said, extending my hand. The mechanical man was hesitant, as he was still scowling at Seth, but he finally stutter-stepped his way up to me and extended his skinny hand. His fingers felt bony and almost like metal.
“Inquisitor Bat Carry at your service, Doctor. I am afraid we are unprepared for a proper welcome, but I shall go back to the Master’s cave and tell him you’ve come. I won’t be long,” he said, and he abruptly turned on his heels and marched off toward one of the caverns on the perimeter of this giant main grotto.
As we waited for the response, I was afraid to say anything to my partner for fear we were being spied upon. It was certainly not worth the risk. The moments between confrontations are always the longest during a subterfuge.
Bat Carry returned alone. “His Excellency says we should meet him in the dining hall. He wants you to meet some of the inventors, and then he wants to show you our newest device. You shall face the same scrutiny as all the others. If your invention meets with the collective approval of all our inventors, then you will be become an Inquisitor in the World Scientific Advancement Society for Progress. I would assume this is what you have come here for,” said the mechanical man.
“Indeed I have,” I said, following the man as he walked his wobbly way toward one of the caverns on the right. “How long have you been here?” I asked.
“I was one of the first scientists recruited by the Master. I had been caught in a fire during the First World War. My body was not much use, as I was suffering from third degree burns, but I still had my wits about me. I was wanted for my expertise in the K-class of submarines used during the war. I was the lead engineer during a test of the steam boiler used to propel the engine, and we had an accidental fire on board during our initial shakedown cruise. Many were killed, but I survived. Miss Haskins retrieved me at the Naval Hospital in Portsmouth, and I’ve been here ever since that day I came to New York City, March 1, 1861. The Master was able to cobble together a workable body for me, although I do have problems navigating, as you can see.” The mechanical man led us into the cavern, and we were met by a line of gentlemen in a variety of outfits and costumes from the future.
However, since these men were inventors, and not soldiers, they did not keep all their attire from the future. Therefore, all of them had a motley mix of brass goggles, top hats with steam whistles attached, airship flying britches, airship Pith helmets, jackets with medals, medallions and other decorations of merit and daring, as well as a variety of boots from many nations. As inventors they also had their own unique additions to each uniform.
For example, the man who first shook my hand had a brass pipe around his waist as a belt, and he also had pipes circling his top hat, the tops of his boots, and hanging down as a necktie. He said he was Count Dixon P. Weatherby, and he was the inventor of the steam heating systems that were being installed like beehives all throughout New York City.
“Your business must be doing well,” I told him, and he turned on the miniature steam-powered engine that was in a pack at his hip. He began to chug, hiss and whoosh out steam from all parts of his body. He need not respond verbally to me, as I assumed he was a walking example of how his invention was succeeding. I walked down the greeting line, each inventor shaking my hand, smiling, and telling me his area of expertise. There were more than fifty men and women, and their inventions ran the gamut from steam-powered hedge trimmers to steam-powered toenail clippers.
Seth the Grabber and I stood around drinking apple juice while our compatriots drank champagne. As a rule, inventors and scientists are not the most social beings, unless they are discussing something of a technical nature, so we did not converse with anyone, and when the steam whistle went off for dinner, we all sat down at the table, leaving the head of the table open for our leader, Grand Inquisitor Abraham Toky Manette.
Music began to play from outside the cave, and soon a line of musicians marched into the dining room. One of the inventors leaned over and said, “They’re the Steam City Pirates. Quite good, actually.” The trumpet player high-stepped his way up onto the table and began to strut across it. He wore conventional pirate attire, a patch over his eye, red-green-yellow striped trousers, and a poufy black blouse and three-cornered hat with the WSASP insignia on it. The others, wearing the same outfit, stood around the perimeter of the table and played steam guitar, steam organ, and a steam-powered drum set. The lead singer, a buxom blonde with a solid red streak down the middle of her hairline, had a live vulture perched on her green satin shoulder, and she began to sing the same pirate song we heard little Doctor Biggs-Pemberton sing inside the tavern the previous night.
After they finished, the eight-foot tall leader of this band of ne’er-do-wells finally entered, and he was escorted by a tall woman who was almost six feet in height. Manette looked like some kind of an Egyptian Pharaoh crossed with a steam engine, and the woman at his side wore a red top hat, tight leather suit, and a glittering image of a roller coaster intricately etched upon her back.
The magnetic power of the Grand Master’s red eyes caused everybody in the room to focus his or her eyes upon him. I could not move my gaze from him, even though I tried, and the people I could see on the other side of the table were also locked into a stare with their leader. I had never seen such magical powers demonstrated before over people.
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Manette picked up a steam pistol and shot it into the air. “Silence!” His voice was powerfully deep and richly vibrant. I could actually feel the table shake. It was strange he would yell this, as there were no conversations going on. “This is Archduchess Beulah Brownfield-Coldicott, and she has devised the most exciting attraction ever invented. It will replace the Barnum Museum and shall introduce the children and citizens of New York City to the creative world of steam-powered amusement. Please, Archduchess, tell my inventors what you have planned,” said the Master, and he waved his hand toward her.
Mysteriously, we were all able to turn our heads to focus upon her. It was as if the Grand Inquisitor had released his hold on us just long enough so that we could move. The Steam City Pirates played an introduction of some circus tune, and the woman raised her hands in the air. Shooting across the room were a trio of long blue ribbons which had been exploded from the depths of three hydraulic cannons somewhere in the darkness of the cave. The ribbons said “Colossal Steam City Carnival” in sparkling red letters.
“Thank you, Inquisitor Manette! Come one, come all, to the greatest exhibition of steam-powered amusements ever in one place on earth! Ladies and gentlemen, the best possible way to keep our citizens happy with steam power is to show them how it can be used for enjoyment. We all know that the future holds devastating annihilation by computer-generated weapons. The only way we can stop this destruction of our world is by keeping our minds creative and in constant development of new devices! Steam power is our power! I am happy to be part of your genius.” The Archduchess bowed, and we all applauded.