by White, L. C
As I perch on the edge of my bed among the books and papers, I pull off my boots. Tristen wants me in the dome tomorrow, so I have to try and get some sleep.
I go to lean back when there’s a knock on my door. I frown, swinging my legs off the bed as my heart skips a beat. Maybe it’s Tristen. Perhaps he misses me too.
I pull open the door and expel a groan. What on earth does Bennett want? He’s standing there displaying his patronizing grin, all bright eyed, holding his notebook. He cannot seriously want to play doctors right now, making notes for his brand new testament, or whatever the hell it is.
“Ready for a chat?” he asks in a perky tone.
“What time is it, you know, out there?”
“It’s around nine a.m.” he replies as my eyes grow, realizing I’ve skipped the night completely.
I haven’t got the energy to argue with him, so I turn and plod back to the bed. My plan is to tell him everything is okay, yadda-yadda-yadda, then to try and get some sleep.
“So, how are you doing?” he asks, closing the door behind him.
“Good.” I sit down by the foot of the bed. “Really good.” I hum out, secretly thinking of Tristen.
He studies me for a moment, then opens his notebook as he sits down on the small stool by the dresser.
“Okay.” He scribbles a few words as I scowl, wishing he’d just leave me alone. “Any dreams or attacks?”
My fingertips dig into the mattress, annoyed. “Nope.”
“Any disturbing thoughts, or voices?”
“Nope.”
He stops scribbling, slams the pen down onto his pad, and looks up at me with one brow higher than the other. I roll my eyes and blow out, now feeling scrutinized for doing what he wanted me to do in the first place. He wanted me to relax here, and I’m beginning to. So I really don’t understand why he’s giving me the skeptical fatherly eyes.
“What’s the problem?” I ask. “I’m not lying to you.”
“I know that, Beth,” he replies in a soft tone. “I just didn’t expect this.”
“Well.” I smile, hoping it will shut him up. “There is no point in fighting it, so I’m dealing with the crazy.”
“How is the training?”
“Good.” One word answers, that’s all he’s going to get out of me now.
“And Tristen, how are you two getting along?”
The sound of his name makes me heat up in guilt. Shit, if I don’t slow down my raging heart, I’m going to give everything away. I might as well just skip around the room, shouting out, ‘I’m in love, woohoo!’
“Just fine,” I mumble, my view bobbing around the room, with my awkward fingers fumbling on my lap.
He knows. I can tell. He’s just shook his head, and is now scribbling in his stupid notebook again.
“So if I gave you a choice, would you want to return home?” he asks, without looking at me.
“I never wanted to leave,” I say, irritated. “I never asked for any of this. So you tell me, should I go home?”
He lowers the pen and shuts his notebook. “Beth, I don’t want to see you in danger. But it was never part of the plan to come down here. Tristen thinks the world is against him, and he’s losing himself,” he says. “Nothing is ever what it seems. And what’s happening to you, is happening for a reason. That doesn’t make it a bad thing. It’s a conclusion. Closure.” He breathes out. “I don’t know what Michael’s plans are for you. And believe me, I’ve tried to find out as much as I can. Whatever it is, it will happen regardless of whether you go home or not. I’ve tried out smarting fate once, but it only comes back with a bigger bite.”
“So being here is pointless?”
“If being here training helps you, then by all means stick around a while longer,” he says. “But I want you to be careful around Tristen. He’s going off track. Don’t let his opinions stop you doing the right thing. Michael will be looking for you, and he’s not going to be happy that the one he trusted to protect you, is well, you know.”
My neck and cheeks inflame. This is so embarrassing. My watcher is a psychologist with a maternal compulsion, who is now grilling me about my newfound sex life. Great.
“It’s none of yours or Michael’s business.” I exhale, blinking slowly.
“Beth, you cannot be like a normal teenager, and neither can Tristen. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Well, thanks for stating the obvious,” I mumble. “And as for Tristen, right now, he’s the only one I can trust. I can’t go home if my family are going to be put in danger, because of what I am.” I scowl at him.
Bennett stands up from the stool, knowing I’m done with his pointless advice. He slowly makes his way to the door, and turns to look over his shoulder at my angry eyes.
“Beth,” he calls. “Michael is not all bad, he is your father.”
“No he’s not. My dad died when I was nine. His name was Michael Winters. He was human, and loved food and music. He protected me, and he made me laugh. The Michael you serve is sadistic, a liar, and likes to toy with people like it’s a game,” I state, passionately. “So don’t refer to him as my father again. I’ll never accept that.”
“Get some sleep, Beth.” He closes the door behind him.
Chapter Eighteen: Punishment
Tristen
“Tristen, Bennett is waiting for you in the library. Tristen, you listening to me!” David yells, like I’m freaking deaf.
“Yeah, be there in a minute.” I lower my blade from the sharpening wheel on my desk, lifting my foot off the pedal. “David,” I call before he leaves. “Can you cover section two combat training?”
He slams his hand on my bedroom doorframe as his head revolves around his shoulders. He owes me. He always owes me. I’ve covered for him many a time while he’s been trying to get into Lisa Walters panties. I have plans to make, involving mine and Beth’s trip. For days I’ve been making arrangements, getting messages out topside, and I’ve found somewhere we’ll never be found. It’s warded from angels and demons. And it will give Beth the time to make the right decision for herself. All thanks to my good friend from the coffee hut, Mary.
Mary is a pagan, and I’ve known her for years. Living under the thumb of the nuns at St Michael’s was intense. I had it drilled into me that my path was to follow Michael. To follow his word. To not have any other opinion for myself. Then I found Mary’s coffee hut at fourteen years old. Her ways are different, and it was nice to be near a human being with free will. She knows everything about everything. She was like a surrogate mother to me. She told me I have light, but also dark inside. That there cannot be one without the other, and that I’m completely normal, even with wings. I think she was the one who brought out the rebellious streak in me. She was fun to be around, and I met some pretty cool people through her. She threw some wild parties at her coffee hut, and the herbs she used, well, let’s just say they were a doorway to a different dimension.
“You want me to tell Lisa what you do to the dome settings when she’s training?” I say in a warning tone.
David has never got around to actually asking Lisa out. He hovers like a pervert in the distance, and is constantly sucking up to her. If she found out he set the Shade to go slow and low, so he can stare at her butt, she beat his ass.
“You’re a dick,” he grumbles, again hitting the doorframe.
“So everyone keeps telling me.” I smile, waving him off.
***
I push open the library doors. I don’t come in here often. I did all my reading at the church, and have enough biblical garbage floating around my head, to last a lifetime. Beth seems to have taken a shine to this area though. She finds it amazing how personal sections of headquarters resemble historic castles, whereas others look like military training compounds. This place is always changing and evolving, with new sections popping up like magic. For me it’s perfectly normal that one day a room will be a storage facility, and the next, the quarters for a new recruit. I think it’s Michae
l’s idea of screwing around with our heads. This place is like his personal Rubik’s cube.
Bennett paces back and forth before the arched fireplace, as I march by the tall floor to ceiling dusty bookshelf. He’s over-angry about something.
“Bennett,” I call out.
He stops and glares right at me, so I’m guessing I’ve done something to piss him off.
“You’ve been sleeping with her?” he yells, making a vein pop out in his neck. “And now Michael knows.”
I’m not going to answer that question. It has got fuck all to do with him. I eyeball him back as he frantically rolls the sleeves up on his cream shirt. I keep my face straight, trying to figure out how the hell he found out.
“You had a job to do, Tristen, and that didn’t include screwing the daughter of the one who could click his fingers, and kill us all.” He paces, pulling at his hair. “You serve Michael. Your duty is to him. He saved your life, and he’s now on the warpath!”
“Fuck Michael!” I bite back.
“So it is true.” He stands still, waiting for my answer.
“How did you find out; been spying?
He smirks, blowing out a breath. “It doesn’t take a damn genius to see the obvious. She’s too happy. Told me you’ve been personally training her with that doe-eyed look. I tried to keep it secret, but you can’t keep things from the above.”
“I’m not listening to this.” I turn to the door. “I’m finished with being told what to do!”
“You know you’re holding her back, and you continuing on this road will kill her.” His words have me turning back to face him. “You know you can’t be with her in the real world.” I lower my head. “I hope to god you haven’t told her the truth about this place.”
I want to howl out and punch his damn lights out. I don’t need reminding of what I really am; that I truly belong in hell.
My muscles tense up in my arms, each tendon twitching with anger in my hands. I know he’s right though. I know I can’t be with her. I know the risks if I try. But I can’t help my damn feelings.
“You’ve screwed everything up. We could have had this done if you’d have just continued on the path laid out. Bringing her down here was a real bad choice. Now Michael wants to know where the fuck she is!”
“You.” I point hard at him. “You don’t tell him a goddamn thing.”
“It’s too damn late. He’s probably seen it,” he yells. “I suggest you get out of here, Tristen. You might stand a chance if you leave Beth with me.”
“I’m supposed to protect her.”
“Oh Tristen,” he grumbles. “You were tempted and you bit into the righteous apple, hard. You are fallen, and the dark in you took Beth. You know you can’t be with her.”
“Well, being the dark is a damn sight better than existing like this,” I yell. “She never chose this.”
“None of us did. That doesn’t give you the right to take your desires, which will only fuel the demon in you. You’ve turned your back on the light that saved you, and gave you a chance,” he says. “Do you really think you can have a happy ever after with an angel? No, you’re not allowed that because of your soul.”
“That’s it,” I yell out. “All of it is one big lie, and all so Beth can change into what! An angel, risk losing her life accepting something she doesn’t want.”
“Yes Tristen, we lie. The selfish needs of one, do not outweigh the needs of all in this shit house. You need to think of Beth. If she can’t enlighten, she will die, we’ll all die, and you know it.”
I rub my head with my thumb and finger, then arch over the table at my side. I’ve been given a taste of a real life with Beth, and I took it willingly. I’ve always known the demon inside would one day emerge, and I guess it came out for her. I’m broken and confused. The clarity of what I’m supposed to do is all screwed-up. I’ve been training her to be like me, when I don’t even want to be this thing anymore.
“I have to see her, one last time,” I say, peering up over my arm. “Then I’ll hand myself over.”
“You don’t have to do that,” he says.
“I do.” I grind my teeth as I walk to the doors.
***
Beth
“Okay, let’s try it again,” Kylie says, taking a breath. “My grandma once told me, evil can be touched, turned, and wielded. It’s an energy that we can change.”
I slap my hands against my thighs and drop down onto the mattress. Kylie has been here for an hour, trying to teach me how to exercise and draw out a demon. She uses this old book, The Amara Sanctum, given to her by her gypsy grandmother. She knows every single word, chant, and prayer, off by heart, but it’s all just gibberish to me. I can’t stand there shaking my ass, singing mumbo-jumbo words I can’t even pronounce. Kylie does it so well, but I just look like a fool.
“Why don’t you just whip out your wings and knock the damn things into next week,” I grumble, my body falling back onto the bed.
“Wings?” Kylie laughs.
“Yeah, your wings.” I lift my body up and rest back on my elbows to see her frowning at me.
“I don’t have wings, Beth. What the hell are you talking about?” she asks, smiling.
I chomp on my bottom lip. Tristen told me, I was the only one who had seen his wings. Maybe Sentinels are not allowed to talk about it, or show them.
“Okay, so you don’t have wings.” I roll my eyes at her. “I still can’t do all that voodoo dancing.”
“Yes you can.” She stomps to the bed and yanks me up to my feet. “Now, shimmy your hips with your arms out,” she orders. “And repeat after me.”
I close my eyes in annoyance, and wave my hips side to side. “This is so stupid.”
“Yep, but it might just save your life. Now, repeat the words after me,” she instructs. “Intuneric la lumina, vin la mana mea.” She hums out as though the words get her high.
“God, okay,” I utter. “Intumeric le lunny.”
“No-no-no,” Kylie snaps. “Intuneric,” she emphasizes. “Say it, In-tune-ric,” she says slowly, waving her hand.
“In-turn-ric,” I repeat.
“Yes!” She claps her hands together.
I smile then jump back as Tristen bursts into my room. His eyes flash with anger as they freeze on Kylie.
“OUT!” he demands.
Worried, I take a step forward. “Tristen?”
“Out,” he yells at Kylie again.
Kylie sweeps her brown leather satchel and her grandmother’s book up from the bed, then scurries out of the room.
I come over all nervous as he closes the door behind him, like I have done something very wrong. I think back to each training session, and the time we’ve had alone together. My skills are improving slightly, and our time together has been perfect. Maybe I’ve done something else to stress him out.
“I told you I would protect you, but I can’t. I can’t because of what I am. I can’t because of the way I feel about you.” He walks to the wall dresser, not even looking at me. “I’ve made a big mistake, and I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you.”
“You haven’t hurt me,” I reply in confusion, watching his eyes glint with fury and upset. “Tristen, what is wrong with you?”
“It’s over.” My heart flutters at his harsh words. “Us, we are over,” he says, his eyes so cold… so serious.
I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to yell. I’m going to be calm, and try to find out why he’s lost his damn mind, and gone all broody again, like he was in Fort Carson. Has he been reprimanded by my asshole Dad?
“Is this about Michael?” I ask, almost cringing.
“It’s always about Michael,” he sneers, pacing up and down my room like a mad man. “But this is something else. It’s about what I am… what this place is. I was never meant to fall for you, because I’m always falling from grace myself.”
I can’t stop my throat narrowing as stinging tears begin to blur my view. I swallow hard and look to my boots, as my hands fumb
le before my waist. I’m hoping he’s just drunk on angel moonshine, and this is just a hissy fit.
“I’m going to tell you exactly what I am. What most of the Sentinels are. What we are used for.”
I hear him approach so lift my eyes to his. His chin touches his chest for a moment as he draws in a long breath. I want to reach out and take his face in my hands, but I don’t.
“I’m a tainted soul. I’m a part of what haunts you.”
My eyes narrow on him. “The Shade?”
“No. But a Shade took my mother as she gave birth to me. It left its mark on me, gave me the wings you think are angelic.” He sniggers in frustrated pain. “The wings on my back are far from angelic. I’m part demon, Beth,” he says with deep shame.
A tear falls over my quivering lips. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because… because I’m selfish. I needed you.”
“And this place?”
“We’re all fallen here. In different ways, each one of us has been stained by hell.”
I drop down onto the mattress behind me, and plant my head into my hands. I feel his touch run down my arms as he lowers. I slide my hands from my face, to see him crouching before me.
“We are all here to save our souls. We were rescued and recruited.” I hear him gulp down. “I knew what I was, and I made peace with it. Until you.” He sniggers again, his eyes glazing over. “Michael chose me for you. I was trusted, but you seem to bring out the dark in me.”
I shake my head at him. “It’s not the dark. It’s normal human love.” I snivel in anger.
“But I’m not human am I.” His hands pull my head to rest against his. “You’re an angel, Beth. A real angel. You have to enlighten.”
“I’ll never allow it.” My eyes close, squeezing out tears.
“You have to.”
The noise of heavy boots planting down on the corridor floor outside, make us both look to the door. He pulls my head onto his again, and I see the agony trickling over his cheeks.
“Who is that?” I ask, as my pounding heart takes away my breath.