As Polly took it upon herself to keenly observe all this seemingly irrational behavior, which only took place in Queen Bee’s presence, she had some time before mistakenly began to believe that a bottle of perfume could well be the answer to all her prayers, especially as she was always desperately seeking untried ways in the hope of finding some meaningful friendships. Imagine her delight when on her way to school one day she happened to come upon what appeared to be an expensive bottle of exquisite perfume in the crack of the seat. Needless to say, Polly assumed that it must have fallen out of the handbag of some classy lady, especially as she thought the petite purple receptacle looked pretty expensive looking.
It came as no surprise that after breakfast one fine day, instead of leaving to catch the school bus, she made a small detour and headed back upstairs. With no one around she used the occasion to smother her hair and uniform with the entire contents, shaking it violently over her head until she was satisfied she had emptied the bottle of every single drop. First she was almost ordered off the bus, and then she found herself sitting quite alone in the normally crammed train compartment. This in itself would have been enough to have most normal people seriously questioning that something must be horribly wrong, but not Polly. No, apart from feeling happy and gloriously optimistic, she chose to keep her head firmly in the sand, as with a skip in her step she had headed toward the school with higher than usual expectations of having a great day.
When finally she was ordered to vacate the class and head for the shower block to rinse off what was not only making the whole class nauseous but also causing some pupils to have strange burning sensations at the back of their throats, well, only then did it finally dawn on her that something was clearly very wrong.
It would be many hours later when back at the castle she was finally enlightened by Bertha Banoffee, who, apart from being more clued up than Polly, unquestioningly had much clearer vision than her counterpart. “Polly, you dumb idiot. This was not a bottle of expensive Italian Mozo Muzzichuzi! No, you dumb fool, if you had taken the time to read the label correctly, you would realize that according to the label you have been a stupid idiot, for you doused yourself from head to toe with a highly concentrated form of mosquito repellant! Yes, and according to this bottle, it is primarily used by soldiers for the prevention of malaria when facing combat in the African jungle or other equally high-ratio mosquito-ridden zones.”
Polly was aghast and found it hard to believe that she had done such a stupid, idiotic thing.
“Give it back to me. Let me have a proper look,” she yelled, grabbing the bottle back from Bertha. Sure enough, Bertha was absolutely correct, for despite being a small label, the word warning was not only written in red but also in block capitals. Then highly concentrated was written under the warning, and although this writing wasn’t in capitals it was almost as clear. However, on a more positive note, it also meant that she couldn’t entirely rule out further perfume trials, especially, as it had now been substantiated that all failure was down to her own incompetence; therefore, her life of pure loneliness and isolation could still be changed if only she could find the right bottle of highly desirable sweet-smelling perfume.
Polly would stand at Miss Strickneene’s desk, and with eyes closed tight, she too would breathe in as deep as she felt able, for just like the male drones, she also delighted in her teacher’s heady and sickly sweet aroma, which never failed to linger long after every mortal had left the classroom.
Chapter Nine
PLEASE TRY MY JAM ROLY-POLY
IT WAS ONLY a short while later that Polly heard the bell, indicating that morning lessons were finally over and it was now time for lunch, but still her teacher told her to ignore the bell and carry on cleaning out the cupboard. Finally Miss Strickneene relented and told her that she could finish some schoolwork in an after-school detention, so she was finally free to go. Polly thanked her teacher and then raced down the corridor toward the dining hall as fast as she was able.
As she was so late, there was only the teeniest piece of shriveled up toad in the hole lying abandoned on a plate, sadly accompanied only by a very creative-looking blob of lumpy mashed potatoes that some considerate pupil had adorned with a smiling face using leftover shriveled peas. But Polly didn’t really care, for she was still mourning the loss of her precious and irreplaceable ring.
“Polly! Over here, Polly,” came a booming voice, followed by a loud whistle. Polly looked up and could see Will beckoning her to come over and take a seat at his table. Polly quickly made her way across the seriously noisy dining hall toward his table before slumping down in a seat in a way that told all present she was clearly pretty fed up.
“I thought I’d really upset you and therefore this was the reason why you were nowhere to be found this lunch break. But judging by the look on your face I was clearly wrong,” Will said, giving a wide, rather lopsided grin as he rather thoughtfully went on to pour her a glass of water.
“Oh, no, Will. Nothing like that,” she glumly sniffed. “Not only do I have more detentions than anyone else in the school, but I have been in terrible trouble with Miss Strickneene for not having everything I needed for lessons. Then after shouting at me, she—”
“What, Miss Lovely Legs Strickneene? Oh, come on, Polly. She is, after all, an adorable darling of a teacher who would never hurt a fly.” Will forcefully stated raising an eyebrow to further emphasize his pure disbelief.
“As I was saying, Miss Strickneene can and regularly does shout,” a now offended Polly sniffed, raising her voice as she began to feel frustrated that “Miss Lovely Legs” had in no time at all succeeded in drawing yet another totally unsuspecting and innocent fly into her voracious, man-eating web. Truth be told, she was now feeling very peeved.
“Yes, Will, I’ll have you know she never shouts at any of the males in the school, boys included! So can you not clearly see that’s why every male from here to Dover is desperately and hopelessly in love with her? And I just happen to believe that it has much to do with the amount of expensive, heavy perfume she drenches herself in.”
“Oh, right. Hey, calm down, Polly! Although I have to say you look so cute when you get this mad,” he sniffed, giving her another lopsided grin.
Now she was really infuriated, as she felt he was not taking her seriously enough. “William Montgomery, I think you, just like every male in this school, are now under her spell, for she has utterly seduced you with her ruby red lips and heavy perfume. Ha! And what’s cool about it is you don’t know it has happened to you! So trust me when I say that before long you too will be telling her how delicious her Chelsea buns taste and how delightfully scrumptious and melt-in-the-mouth her stupid Eccles cakes are,” she scornfully stated, her voice raised as she was now feeling maddened and furious with him.
“All right, Polly, do us both a favor by calming down, for I hear you,” Will stated, as he tried and failed miserably to look serious.
“And so as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me”—Polly sniffed, screwing up her eyes as she sought to prove her point—“your wonderful Miss Strickneene then gave me lots of cleaning jobs to do, and I’ve only just been allowed to leave the classroom.” Polly breathed a deep sigh that indicated she had clean run out of wind and as a result had nothing further to say on the matter.
“Oh, dear, and it doesn’t look like there was much dinner left for you either,” Will commiserated. “Although the happy face looks very…”
“Happy?” Polly rather glumly interjected.
“Well, Polly, you beat me to it, although I was going to say ‘rather enterprising.’”
“Even with the happy face it still looks a rather sad and pathetic meal, doesn’t it? And worse still, they have completely run out of pudding. But if I’m honest, Will, I’m not the least bit hungry, for today I sadly discovered that I have lost my special ring that I treasured, and with it I have completely lost my appetite.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, but would
a rather sorry looking bowl of Jam Roly-Poly serve in anyway to make you feel better?” he asked as he considerately placed his uneaten sponge pudding in front of her. “And please don’t pay any attention whatsoever to what it looks like, for I have it on the greatest authority that it tastes a whole heap better than it looks, honest! The creamy custard in particular,” he said as he almost dipped his finger into the bowl.
“Thanks, Will. That’s awfully kind of you, but you eat it, for nothing is going to make me feel better,” she said, pushing the bowl back toward him.
“Want to bet on that?” Will quipped.
“Bet on what?” Polly queried.
“Well, you’ve just thrown down the gauntlet, so I quite rightly need to rise to the challenge.”
“Challenge! What challenge? Will, do me a favor and help me out here, for I am in no mood for any of your impulsive craziness. What on this earth are you talking about?” she said with a distinct note of exasperation.
“Why, the challenge to make Polly Brown have a smile as wide as the happy-faced peas decorating your mash,” he quipped. “So come on, Miss Spoilsport. Give me a chance. Say you’ll come back to my place after school.”
Polly was about to once more decline his kind offer when Will wisely leaned over to place a finger over her lips.
“Shh. It’s not open for discussion,” he said with a gentle firmness that secretly touched her. “It’s my place after school, no ifs or buts.”
Polly still tried to raise a hand in protest, but Will was having none of it. “Polly, I’m warning you now that I do not have the slightest intention of allowing you to leave my home until your hideously heavy heart is no longer as downcast as these seriously depressing shriveled-up peas—no, better still, until you beg me to help you stop laughing. End of story,” he said as he pushed the pudding bowl back in front of her. “Checkmate! Now enjoy this Jam Roly-Poly, or I will never again play Prince Charming by saving you a miserable, measly-looking school pud,” he said as he gave her a small wink, followed closely by another lopsided grin. He then hastily grabbed his schoolbag and hurriedly left the dinner hall to get to his first afternoon lesson.
The final bell of the day rang, and the classes quickly cleared as the pupils once more joined up with friends and made their way toward the school gates, heads down, as they took the opportunity to engage deeply in all sorts of frivolous, if not sometimes mind-boggling after-school conversation.
Polly held back and used the opportunity to empty out her tatty schoolbag to rid it of quite an assortment of unwanted rubbish. She then attempted to give her locker a thorough tidying up, stopping every once in a while to look out of the window as she waited for the playground to become completely deserted.
“Great, that large group is finally heading out the school gates. Oh, no. More latecomers. Come on, guys, leave the playground. Go on. You can kick that ball around when you get to the train station,” she irately muttered, as with all her heart she willed the playground to be entirely rid of all pupils and so become deserted.
Polly let out a deep sigh and then headed back to her locker. “This spring clean is definitely seriously overdue,” she murmured under her breath as she continued to busy herself with the task at hand. “Hmm. It was the best thing I could do. A clean and tidy locker, then a clear-thinking mind,” she muttered, albeit rather unconvincingly, for the real truth lay somewhere else entirely! Yes, if nothing else, it meant that if Will was really only messing around and had no real intention of inviting her to his home, well, then no one else need know. She could not bear to be made a fool of, especially when most days did not draw to a close without some form of personal, very demoralizing humiliation. By staying behind to tidy up her locker, she had given herself the perfect excuse to slip out of the school late to quietly make her way home without any ridicule from other pupils. This way no one need know that she was wishing with all her heart that the new boy was genuine in his desire for real friendship. If he didn’t show up, then no real and lasting harm had been done. All she would have to do was act really casual and maybe a bit off hand the next time she had occasion to bump into him.
Looking up at the clock on the wall, she decided it was time to pluck up the courage required and, like all other pupils beforehand, evacuate the building. So, picking up her schoolbag and without knowing what to expect, she headed down the stairs and then through a door that led directly into the playground and large playing field as she continued to head toward the school gates. Polly was truly pleased to see Will leaning heavily against one of the gates, his school jacket tossed casually over a shoulder as he waited patiently for her to appear.
“Are you always this much of a slowcoach?” he asked, giving her an overtly generous smile. “I was about to give up the ghost and wander home on my ownsome lonesome.”
“I’m sorry,” was all Polly felt capable of answering back as she began to cough nervously.
“Come on, Polly Brown. Allow me to lead the way,” he said as he cheerfully linked his arm through hers to gently pull her in the direction he wished to take. “I hope you don’t mind, but I have just one small errand, and that is to collect a meat pie from the grocer’s shop in the village. Then we will go straight back to my place.”
“That’s fine by me, Will, so take your time,” said Polly, giving his arm a quick and timid squeeze.
With the pie paid for, they then left the store and headed down a long lane toward Will’s house. Some fifteen minutes later Will stopped outside an old, rickety gate.
“We’re almost there,” he breathlessly announced.
“Here? I can’t see anything ahead except an overgrown, densely thick forest of shrubs and trees,” she challenged, moving her head from side to side and shielding her eyes from the sun as she attempted to see into the distance.
“Polly, I assure you there is a large house hidden somewhere amongst these tall trees,” Will replied rather sheepishly as his hand reached out to open an old, rusty wrought iron gate that had almost fallen off its hinges.
“Well, Will, what are we waiting for? Open the gate wide, for I cannot see any houses whatsoever from where I’m standing.”
“Hmm. All right then.”
Polly observed that for some unfathomable reason, Will, having finally opened the gate, now appeared somewhat reluctant to go through it.
“OK, Polly, now this is the bit where I ask you to accept me for who I truly am,” he said, as with both hands bearing down on her shoulders he moved her to one side to then stand directly in front of her, staring meaningfully into her eyes.
“It might help if you dared speak in plain old English, Will, for what on earth do you mean? You are not making any sense, and now I’m feeling peculiarly puzzled.” Polly sniffed, suddenly feeling quite anxious, as searching his eyes she looked for even the smallest clue that might give her a hint as to what was really going on.
Polly could not help but notice that he now appeared very twitched up and jumpy, and his new, very unexpected demeanor threw Polly somewhat, as up until this moment in time she had never experienced him in such an agitated state of nervousness. No, something was definitely wrong, for up until this moment he had always oozed remarkable self-confidence. “Will, is there something you’re holding back? Please tell me now, because you’re making me feel on edge.”
“Well, Polly you’re about to enter my world for the first time, and if I’m to be honest, it’s a world that I rarely allow any outsider to see or become a part of. So forgive me, but I need to ask, Can I truly trust you with my private world?”
“Oh, Will, I am at the same time both touched and saddened— touched that you would consider me enough of a friend to invite me to your home and saddened that it would even cross your mind that I might one day betray you, as I know this would seriously threaten, if not end, our friendship once and for all.”
“That’s good to know, Polly. Forgive me, but I just needed a little reassurance.”
Will drew a deep breath and visib
ly relaxed as he debated how much more, if anything, he should say to Polly regarding his unusual family. He quickly decided that it was best to remain quiet and low key and thereby allow everything to take its natural course.
Chapter Ten
ARE YOU A FAN OF EARL GREY?
AFTER MAKING THEIR way down a narrow trail that required the use of both hands to push back large amounts of bushy bracken, they finally found themselves in a large clearing. As Polly looked up, she let out a large gasp. “Wow, Will, is that really your house?” she said, pointing into the distance.
“Yep, afraid so,” Will replied with a half-hearted grin.
“It’s so huge. It’s like a fairytale Gothic mansion.”
“Hmm, a Gothic monstrosity, more like!” Will quietly conceded as he continued to give Polly another of his famous lopsided grins.
“How amazing that something as big and beautiful as this is so hidden out of sight that no one would ever know it is here.”
“Polly, it might look great from a distance, but I assure you that when you get close up, you will see that, sadly, it’s terribly run down and dilapidated.”
“Oh, I’m sure it could do with a bit of tender loving care, but—”
“Couldn’t we all?” Will interjected. “The house definitely needs a bit of attention. In fact, that’s quite funny, as my house is even called Tumbledown Cottage. So come on, then. Let’s go in,” he said, as once more he grabbed her by the hand and then raced toward the house with great determination.
As they stood in the porch entrance while Will searched his trouser pocket for his door key, he had one final request. “Right now, do as I say, and close your eyes,” he ordered as he attempted to turn the key in the lock.
The Trouble with Polly Brown Page 15