Finally, without warning and much to Boritz’s utter horror, one of the boys took it upon himself to break the awkward silence, and so he began to chant, “Pretty Polly. Pretty Polly,” over and over.
All too soon the other younger children, in similar parrot fashion, automatically joined in. “Pretty Polly. Caw caw. Pretty Polly,” they continued to squawk and squall in high-pitched tones as finally they fell back into their usual very comfortably and automatic patterns of ridiculing her.
A shocked and infuriated Lady Butterkist immediately stopped brushing Polly’s hair and abruptly swung ’round.
However, on witnessing the intensity of her fury, Boritz quickly stepped in to take charge. “Children, stop all this wickedly inappropriate behavior right now!” he very abrasively snapped.
All the children instantly obeyed, but not before Lady Butterkist had the opportunity of seeing for herself that every face appeared to be totally confused by this latest strange order.
“That’s better. Now the lot of you must immediately apologize and say you’re terribly sorry, for you have really upset poor Polly by being so unkind.”
The children all stood in a stupefied silence, a look of total bewilderment betraying their underlying feelings.
“Children, if I have to repeat myself once more, I warn you now, there will be trouble ahead. So, do as I have ordered and immediately apologize for your very inappropriate and insulting behavior,” he angrily remonstrated.
“Sorry, Polly,” they bitterly and reluctantly chanted in unison.
“There, Lady Butterkist. Everything is now sorted.”
“Sir, I beg to differ,” she angrily snorted. “I have seen quite enough, for such raw and savage meanness to be at the hands of such young children is utterly inexcusable, and I, for one, have rarely ever witnessed such wicked behavior from children as young as these.”
Lady B. proceeded to hand back the hairbrush to Polly and then quickly excused herself from the room muttering something about needing the bathroom, as she was suddenly experiencing moments of extreme nausea.
A now deeply concerned Boritz was left feeling most infuriated, and so he turned to vent some of his fury at the children.
“What on earth were you all thinking?” he roared.
“What’s the problem, Uncle? We were only making fun of Polly like we always do,” came Gailey Gobbstopper’s immediate and very surly reply.
“Fun? You stupid imbeciles! Don’t you realize that this eminent lady is a prominent and very important person? You load of heathens may well have ruined everything. I promise you now that if she leaves here never to return, I’ll have your guts for garters,” he raged. “And some of you may well find yourselves out on the streets hungry and without a warm bed to sleep in.”
“We’re very sorry, Uncle. Really we are,” the now very lost and contrite children subserviently whimpered.
“Well, kindly be on your best behavior from now until the lady finally decides to leave us,” he sternly instructed.
“Well, it’s not fair, ’cos I want Polly’s dress, as it would look much nicer on me,” Gailey Gobbstopper moaned.
“Gailey, please be reasonable! I can hardly strip it off her, now can I?” Uncle Boritz roared.
“Why not? You gave me her swimsuit that special day when we went to the beach.”
“Well, that was an entirely different situation. You were needlessly crying and making a fool of yourself by begging me, and all because you thought her swimsuit was nicer than yours. I only gave in because Mildred and I felt entitled to some peace and quiet as we sunbathed.”
“Well, why can’t you do it this time?” Gailey huffed.
“Allow me to continue without further interruptions,” he barked. “I repeat: I only gave in, as I didn’t want you ruining the entire day for poor Mildred, and so I decided on that occasion it would be much easier for everybody if I gave in to you. That was the one and only reason it was immediately stripped from her waiflike body to be handed over to you. And, if I rightly remember, you didn’t even have the manners to say thank you to us. So this time ’round you need to be much more patient.”
“Patient?” Gailey queried.
“Yes, remember that patience is a virtue, and virtue is a grace,” he impatiently snapped.
“And Grace is a little girl who never washed her face,” Gailey sulkily sniped.
“Oh, grow up, Gailey. You’re not five years old anymore, so stop being such a prima donna,” he angrily chastised. “Get it into your thick head that you will have to jolly well wait until Lady Moneybags has finally left the building to go on her way. Then, and only then, can you have the dress. Until such a time, Gailey dear, it would behoove you to stay well out of the way and keep your lips tightly buttoned. Do you fully understand me?”
“Yes, Uncle Boritz, but promise me that the dress and the tiara will eventually become mine.”
“Yes, Gailey dear, I promise,” he wearily stated. “Now it’s time to get back into the baronial hall, for the old dears have just about finished their tea, and I need you all to play the desperately pitiful orphan card to the best of your ability. Do you all hear me?”
“Yes, Uncle, loud and clear,” they all pathetically groaned.
“Toby, are you ready with your magic act? And Gailey dear, are you and the girls ready to sing the usual sad songs? Good. And Tommy, are the boys ready for your chimney sweep dance routine to go ahead?”
“Yes, Uncle. We’ve just finished blackening our faces with the lump of coal you gave us earlier.”
“Splendid! Right then, children, you all know the procedure, so please form a disciplined line and then quietly make your way to the baronial hall. However, before you dare to leave my presence to get on with the show, allow me to forewarn you all that if today we fail to bring in the necessary funds, then I assure you there will be less food on the table and therefore many more miserable, Moaning Minnies hugging their hopelessly hungry bellies tight as they rock themselves to sleep at night. So go onto that stage and be sure to do your absolute best for Uncle.”
“Yes, Uncle Boritz,” came the lame reply as they halfheartedly filed out of the room heading toward the hall to begin the much-awaited show.
Chapter Thirty-Six
SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME
BORITZ WAS QUITE pleased that the whole audience, without exception, truly enjoyed the show from start to finish, despite its many imperfections, which included Toby Trotter losing his footing and accidentally falling off the stage during the final moments of his magic act. Looking a little stunned, he quickly got up from the floor, and while profusely rubbing his sore elbow, he hurriedly made his way up the steps and back on stage to continue on with his performance. This rather unfortunate little faux pas worked for the good, as it had the old dears rocking back and forth with laughter. Happily for him, he only suffered a couple of minor bruises. And yes, it’s true, the stage set did completely collapse as three of the girls were halfway through their song and dancing routine. But all things considered, the show was deemed to be a success, and the old dears gladly showed their approval by their thunderous applause and hand clapping.
The finale began with Polly standing alone under a small spotlight singing her pitiful song out loud with all her heart and soul. The rest of the children, under great sufferance, were forced to stand in the background and produce large, glowing smiles as they all mouthed the words, at the same time linking arms as united in love and friendship they swayed to and fro to the music. It was less than a minute into her performance before Polly had all the old dears sniffling and reaching for a tissue, and by the time she reached the last verse, there was no longer a dry eye in the place. Oh, that is, with the exception of Boritz, Pitstop, as well as Mildred and all the other children from the castle, who found the whole thing a most painful and ghastly ordeal but who had little choice but to endure it.
The pensioners were so moved by her touching performance that they immediately rose or staggered to
their feet to give her a standing ovation. Polly gave a quick curtsey before hurriedly exiting the stage. It was now time for Boritz to take over and thus bring the show, as well as the day, to a suitably satisfactory close.
“Right then, kiddiewinks. Please come back up on the stage to take one final bow,” he ordered. The children reluctantly did as they were told, and after endless bows from the boys and cute curtsies from the girls, he then instructed them to make their way down from the stage and then go and politely shake the hand of a pensioner or two.
“All right, children. Your time is up. Say a quick good-bye to our guests, and then you must head back to the changing room to get out of your costumes. Now do as I say, and immediately go and get changed.”
Satisfied that they were all well and truly out of earshot, he once more walked to the center of the stage, and after clearing his throat, he began, “Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your complete, undivided attention? Thank you,” he said as he tapped the microphone to check that it was still working properly. “It has been our great privilege to invite you here today. Mildred and I hope that you have really enjoyed the tea that we laid on for you, but more importantly we hope that you were touched and delighted by the variety of performances given by the children. It is true to say that these wonderful children may not have given the most professional performance you’ve ever had the pleasure of attending, but they certainly put everything, their hearts included, into giving a thoroughly engaging little concert. I think you’ll all readily agree with me when I say they did a truly memorable and outstanding job.”
The pensioners once more began clapping loudly to show their full appreciation.
“Yes, ladies and gentlemen, continue on with your warm-hearted clapping for as long as you wish, for each and every one of these darling children are precious beyond words,” he fawned, pausing only to take another deep breath.
“As many of you are surely well aware, a large number of these children came to us from very unfortunate backgrounds, and so their lives have been plagued with trauma upon trauma—that is, until they finally found safe refuge within the four walls of this castle. Here we devote a considerable amount of time and effort into restoring and healing their very damaged, tender hearts, and it goes without saying that time and effort costs money,” he stated as he continued, as usual, to pontificate. This went on for well over half an hour before he finally brought things to a close.
“I can only hope that having heard something of what these children have been through, it has reached deep inside and touched the cockles of your heart. I would therefore urge you to consider becoming a patron and friend of the castle and in doing so bestow a charitable donation that will go a long way in enabling these poor children to get the love and help that they so desperately need and deserve. So please, if you have in any way felt touched by these children, then I would urge you to delve deep into your pockets, as we would be delighted to receive both cash as well as checks. If you are writing a check, please make it payable to ‘The Castle Orphans Fund.’ We cannot thank you enough for your overwhelmingly kind generosity.
“Also, before I leave this stage to go be with the children, I wish to say that we have been highly honored in having a very special guest in our midst. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, may I present the dowager countess of Scunthorpe.”
He paused to allow everyone present to give another thunderous round of applause. “Yes, I wish to say a special thank-you to this most delightfully charming lady for making the effort to join us here today, and also to her butler, who joined the tea party very late but to whom we are deeply indebted, for without his help and mechanical expertise none of this would have taken place today. So we thank you kindly from the very bottom of our hearts,” he said as he then began furiously clapping to show his full appreciation. “Remember now, if any of you need help with writing out your checks or are simply in need of a pen, Mildred, my dear wife, is on hand to assist you in any useful way that she can.”
He was about to leave the stage when he remembered he still had one thing that he had quite unwittingly forgotten to address.
“Oh, and on one final note: please do remember to use the bathroom before you reboard the coach, as the driver insists that the next stop will not take place until you have been back on the road for at least a couple of hours. Thank you, and have a pleasant and safe trip home. Oh, and God willing, we hope to see you all again next year.”
Boritz’s heart was racing, and his eyeballs were bulging out their sockets as, thrilled to the core of his being, he witnessed a large number of the pensioners still sitting in their seats as with severely shaky hands they struggled to write out their personalized checks. Boritz saw it as his solemn duty to go up to each individual, and standing over them with tears smarting his eyes, he personally thanked each and every one of them for their extraordinary kindness and outstanding generosity.
Finally he made his way over to where Lady Butterkist and her party still sat as Giles continued to drink endless cups of tea.
Lady Butterkist, now feeling very tired of waiting around, picked up Tiddles from the floor and began playing little kissing games with her.
“Lady Butterkist, I do hope you have enjoyed this special occasion,” he beamed.
“Oh, thoroughly! It has been a most wonderful and most interesting experience to say the least,” she said as she playfully patted her pooch on the head.
“Well, Lady Butterkist, Mildred and my good self would be more than delighted if you were to agree to come and join us in our private sitting room for further refreshments before you take to the road. Quite frankly, it would also be good to talk with you some more before you leave.”
“Well, Boritz, that would be fine, but before I agree to such a thing, I would very much like to see the children and offer them all some of my delicious appletude pie. Also, I am most concerned that young Polly should be allowed to see her younger brother and spend a short amount of time with him before she joins us to head off down to the west country.”
“Oh, Lady Butterkist, consider it done. First we will round up all the children, and once they have met with you, we will then share around your pies. You may also, if you wish, accompany Polly up to the dormitory to meet her brother. In the meantime I will organize for a fresh pot of tea to be brought down to my private sitting room.”
“Well, Boritz, I fear to turn down your kind offer of more tea, as sadly for me I have a bladder more consistent with the size of a shelled peanut,” she mischievously commented. “But thank you all the same.”
Mildred dutifully escorted Lady Butterkist down many corridors until they finally reached the television and game room. The room they entered was in complete darkness with the exception of the light coming out of the television screen. Mildred turned and switched on the light.
“Aw, turn that bloomin’ light off now,” an irate voice boomed out.
“Yeah, we like watchin’ the TV in the dark, so quit messin’ about, will yer?”
Mildred marched over and immediately switched the off button on the television.
“Children, forgive the interruption, but Lady Butterkist has requested to meet with you all. So, kindly stop complaining, and be good enough to get up from where you’re seated to come and introduce yourselves and shake the good lady’s hand.”
Once again, the tension was palpable.
“Aw, do we ’ave to? We’ve already done as you asked by entertaining that load of old codgers, and now we are in the middle of watchin’ one of our favorite programs,” one boy bitterly complained.
“Shucks, why do we ’ave to meet the old dear? After all, she’s your bloomin’ friend, not ours,” another older child moaned.
“Silence, all of you!” Mildred quickly snapped. “Stop being a load of Moaning Minnies, and just do as you are told by getting off your idle backsides to come and pay your respects. Lady Butterkist has, after all, come a long way today, and what’s more, she has a special little teatime treat in store f
or you all.”
“Oh, great. I hope it’s a bar of chocolate,” Natalie Nitpick excitedly suggested as she quickly jumped to her feet.
“Nah, I bet it isn’t,” one of the other girls sulkily joined in.
“Well, maybe it’s a whole bag of sweets for each of us,” another hopeful child stated, giving a toothy grin.
Lady B. decided that was as good a time as any to begin. “Children, firstly: well done, all of you, on giving a first-class show. My guests and I were highly entertained and therefore very delighted to be given the opportunity of watching you all. And Toby, I have to admire you for carrying on despite your obvious injuries. I do so hope you have fully recovered without too many bruises,” she said with a warm smile. “Now, I have brought a few delicious apple pies with me that, once you have tried them, I am sure you will agree they taste simply heavenly. So, gather around and try some. I have already cut the pies into small, serviceable slithers, and Mildred is over there putting the delicate portions of pie onto some small plates. So go and grab one now. What are you waiting for?”
None of the children needed to be given this order for a second time, as they raced over toward Aunt Mildred and the table covered with small disposable plates of apple pie.
What took place next had Lady Butterkist feeling thoroughly shocked, as she bore witness to the children not only pushing each other but viciously grabbing hold of one another’s hair and clothing in order to get ahead of the person in front of them.
“’Ere, maggot face. I was ’ere first,” one boy snarled as he grabbed hold of a plate and almost pushed it into face of the boy standing beside him.
“Get your filthy ’ands off me, or I’ll punch yer in the kisser,” another ferociously threatened.
A now speechless Lady Butterkist, already shocked by the high levels of animosity between them all, stood in amazement as her eyes followed after a plate of pie as it flew at great speed through the air before crash-landing at Pitstop’s feet. Showing no manners or politeness whatsoever, Pitstop dropped his head and savagely demolished the pie in less than a couple of seconds. Then, with slimy, thick saliva drooling from his ferocious jaws, he inched nearer the table desperate to get his teeth into more of the pie. In no time at all the scene became little more than a bun-fight, with the children jostling and hurling every imaginable insult at each other as, stopping at nothing, they did all within their power to obtain what they considered to be their fair share of the pie.
The Trouble with Polly Brown Page 59