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  I blinked. I was grateful I was even able to do that much.

  With a muttered curse, Chase pulled me out of the car. His warm fingers tingled on my bare arms. “You’re freezing!” he exclaimed.

  As if I didn’t already know that.

  “How could you be so stup—stubborn?”

  I tried to smile when I realized he had just caught himself from calling me stupid.

  Chase muttered something else under his breath and hurried out of his tuxedo jacket.

  The warm smooth satin of the lining as it slid over my stiff arms was insanely decadent. In fact it was the most amazing sensation I had ever felt.

  He pulled me toward him and wrapped his arms around me—giving me as much body heat as he could.

  No wait! This is the most amazing sensation I have ever felt!

  I don’t know if it was the shock of the sudden warmth to my system, or the chill air outside brushing against my ears and cheeks--but whatever it was—I began to shiver. And shiver bad. Like, teeth chattering, shivers.

  Had I been more aware of myself, I would’ve probably died of embarrassment—again—but the only thing I could think of right then was to get warm.

  “Dang!” Chase quickly swooped me up in his arms and slammed my car door shut. With quick strides he made it to his truck in seconds. Before I had even known what hit me, I was in the passenger side of the cab—still within his arms. I was jolted slightly as Chase double-checked the emergency brake, threw the truck out of gear and started it up. In moments the cold air that blasted through the vents and onto us became warm and comforting.

  After a few minutes my shivering slowed down to a faint twitch and I began to thaw.

  “What is it about you?” murmured Chase in my hair after a long silent pause.

  “Hmm?” I lazily asked.

  “I can’t figure out how anyone can be so independent, yet so needy at the same time.”

  Another shudder escaped and I snuggled closer. “What would I do without you?” I asked relishing in the strong, confident heartbeat I felt beneath his white shirt.

  “I don’t know.” He chuckled softy to himself before he inhaled sharply. “I’m almost afraid of leaving again. I’m not sure you’d be here when I got back.”

  Yeah, most likely I’d have killed myself somehow without my knight to rescue me. “What do you care anyway,” my fingers fiddled with the creased folds in his shirt.

  “Em, I’m going toPhoenix for awhile, right after Christmas.”

  My fingers stilled. “What?”

  “I’ve thought about it long and hard the past hour and—and I need to get away. There’s just too much—too much tension here.”

  Oh my gosh. I blew it. He’s leaving because of me. My eyes began to prick with tears I didn’t think was possible to still have. “Chase?” I asked before I knew it would be too difficult to speak. “Don’t go.”

  I felt him inhale against the top of my head again—a deep ragged breath. “I have to.”

  One tear fell and I shook my head slightly into his chest. “No you don’t. You don’t. You promised six months—you promised—it’s only been three.”

  “I’ll come back before I head back out to Spain next year to say goodbye, okay?”

  The silent tears fell. I couldn’t help it. I was such a wreck. If I could take back anything—anything it would be this day. Why did I have to find out this day of all days—the day I was going to ruin everything—that I loved him? I would’ve much rather had him here with me everyday, not knowing that I loved him, than gone away because I did and he hated himself for it. I could see he regretted ever getting as close to me as he did. Why shouldn’t he hate himself? I was an immature little baby. I didn’t deserve anyone like Chase in my life. He’s better than anything I could ever amount to.

  All at once I wanted him gone—a thousand miles away—but still here holding me at the same time.

  His hands started to trail lightly over my back as he rocked gently back and forth. I knew Chase was trying to make me feel better over the wet tears he could feel beneath his shirt. I knew it. And I tried to be brave, but it didn’t work. Fresh—heart wrenching muffled sobs wracked my body. I struggled to hide them, but you can’t bawl in someone’s arms and they not know you for the mess that you are.

  “Shh…” was his answering reply. “Come on, Ems, don’t do this. It’s hard enough for me to leave as it is.”

  Then don’t go! I wanted to scream at him, but couldn’t. It would take too much out of me to hear his rejection again.

  After awhile—long after my sobs had died down, Chase whispered, “Come on, buck up.” I felt his lips rub across my hair. “Em?” He pulled back a little and kissed my forehead.

  Hmm… I liked that.

  “Emma?” Tenderly he tugged my shoulders away from him and found my nose with a kiss. I held my face up for more and he was only happy to oblige. One cheek and then another. “You are so beautiful.”

  I grinned up at him and opened my eyes. “Liar.” With my tear-stained face I couldn’t have been uglier if I tried.

  Cautiously his darkened eyes searched mine. At first I thought he was going to change his mind, but then I realized all too soon he was checking to see if I was okay. He couldn’t consciously leave me knowing I was like this. Have I always been able to read him this well?

  Bravely I fought back another onslaught of tears as I memorized his handsome face. I love him. I love him so much!

  With a crooked smile I pulled myself together and sat up straight. “I hope you have a wonderful time in Phoenix. You’ll be missed.” More than you know.

  Chase guardedly scanned my features. He knew what I was doing. “Thanks.”

  That was it. Our conversation was over. We both knew it. What more could either of us say? One needed to leave and the other needed them to stay—but neither could really compromise. We were doomed. I quickly blotted out the vision of me with knitting needles and cats and shrugged my way out of his jacket.

  “Do you want me to take you home?” he asked as I handed it to him.

  “No.” I smiled a quick smile and then looked down at my hands.

  “Do you know how to drive a stick?”

  What? “Yeah.”

  “Here.” He set me down in front of the wheel and swung my legs down in front of me. “Drive this. It’s already warm. You can park it at your house and I’ll pick it up in the morning. I’ll drive yours. Did you bring Hannah with you?”

  Hannah? “Hannah!” I had forgotten all about her! “Yes. Yes I did.”

  “Don’t worry.” Chase stilled my hands from reaching for the door. “It’s no big deal. I’ll take her home in your car.”

  Why does he have to be so great? “Okay, thanks.” I looked down at the hands he was holding and then back up at him.

  It was time to go. Chase knew it and I knew it—but still he stayed where he was. My heart pounded in my throat when I caught the familiar gleam sparkle to life in his eye. Slowly he raised one hand and brushed an errant curl off my face.

  That was all it took.

  I don’t know who moved first—or what exactly happened—all I know was I was wrapped up in his arms and he was kissing me again. Really kissing me! It was wonderful! It was horrible! Our last farewell, bon voyage kiss. It was the worst, most miserable thing to do to a girl—yet the most delicious and precious and needed moment in all history.

  He broke away first. It had to have been him. There was no way I would’ve.

  With a deep shaky gasp of air Chase shook his head and stared at me while muttering, “How could anything so wrong for me, feel that good?” Just before he opened the door and slammed himself out he asked the roof, “I’m being punished, aren’t I?”

  No, I am.

  Chapter 24

  So what do I have to do to get a hug out of you?

  I was in trouble. I knew it. The second I woke up. Mom is gonna kill me. The old me would’ve rolled onto my other side and put this off as long as
possible, pretending like I was still asleep. But this was the new me. It took eighteen years to get to this point, it’s time I faced my actions. With a sigh I rolled out of bed.

  I was out of the shower and dressed in record time. I didn’t bother with makeup. –So no makeup was hard, but I really didn’t want to hide behind anything anymore. It wasn’t worth it. I was who I was and Chase was right. It was time I faced myself. All of me. The real me. Emmalee Glumm. No more hiding behind a fancy last name, my stepdad’s money, or my killer smile. If I’m lucky by the time this day is over, I may still have a few friends left—but then again, maybe not. One thing was for certain, whoever chose to stay by me I would never take them for granted again.

  I could hear Mom in the kitchen as I tripped lightly down the stairs. Another deep breath by the doorway gave me the courage to face what was within.

  “Hey, Mom.”

  She looked up, glancing over my very normal looking clothes and face before dumping a whole slew of fruit into the blender. She didn’t say a word as she turned it on, the loud chopping noise filling the room. I sat down at one of the bar stools, not sure what to do. After a couple of more seconds Mom turned off the blender and poured herself a tall glass of smoothie. When she turned and saw me still in the kitchen she poured me one as well and brought it over.

  Her peace offering before the riot act, made me feel even guiltier than I already did. “Thanks,” I mumbled as I took a sip.

  She watched me suspiciously as she took a long drink of hers. When she set her glass back on the counter Mom finally spoke.

  “Well, dear, what do you have to say for yourself?”

  Nothing. Everything. “I’m sorry, Mom. I’m really sorry.”

  “Are you?” She didn’t look convinced.

  All at once I felt unbelievably small. I nodded my head and looked down at my smoothie.

  “Dang it, Emmalee!” Mom was used to me arguing with her. She was ready for a fight. “Do you have any idea what type of mess you left me with last night? How humiliating that was for me and our guests? Could you have behaved any worse?” What started out as a frustrated voice quickly escalated into an all out yell. “Honestly, I want to know! Could you have?”

  My stepdad ran up from the basement to see what was wrong. One look at me in the kitchen and he quickly stepped forward and wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist to show his support.

  Yep. That’s me. I’m the monster who’s so evil people have to come in pairs to attack. My finger roamed around the top of the glass and I shook my head. “I’m sorry Mom and Dad.” I looked up at both of them. “I know I was awful last night, I know it. It’s haunted me for hours now.”

  Adrian spoke in a gentler voice. “Honey, this isn’t something you can blow off. People were genuinely offended. It was really bad.” He looked down at my mom and patted her shoulder. “Actually it was so bad, we’re thinking of cancelling the balls altogether.”

  “What? No! You can’t do that. Mom loves them.”

  “Emmalee, I don’t think anyone will come next year, even if I did throw one.”

  Was it really that bad?

  Mom leaned forward and warily rubbed her face. “You know, when you tell the future in-laws of the Anderson’s to shut-up, that’s basically social suicide. Emma, it’s over. You are going to have to grow up. I didn’t think it could get much worse when you practically forced Chase to kiss you in the middle of that dance—”

  I winced.

  “—but, I was wrong. I have never seen tears like those of young Claire Hart. Never. The few people who didn’t hear your unfortunate outburst quickly heard an exaggerated version in no time. Thank goodness only a select few—from what we can tell,” she glanced up at Adrian for conformation, “had actually witnessed your—uh—kisses with Chase.”

  Adrian cleared his throat and I knew what was coming next wouldn’t be pretty. “We’ve talked it over, Emma, and your mother and I have come to the conclusion that you should be treated the same way that you treated Claire last night.”

  What in the—? “What does that mean?”

  My mom jumped in. “It means dear that if you think Claire is too young and immature to have access to certain places and information, then so are you.”

  This doesn’t sound good. “Okay?”

  “As of today you lose the following privileges: No phone, no internet—unless for schoolwork, no car, no dates/parties/sleepovers—”

  “Oh my gosh! Are you kidding me?” I nearly spilled my smoothie. “Come on, isn’t that being a bit overdramatic? I never told her she couldn’t do all those things, I only told her to keep her mouth shut!”

  “She’s arguing,” observed my stepdad. “You said she would argue, but I didn’t believe you.” He patted my mom on the shoulder. “Okay then, I won’t stop you; you can take her final privilege away.”

  What does he mean? By the look on my mom’s face, I knew it was bad. All of the sudden I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. “Mom, what is he talking about?”

  She sighed and wrapped her arms around herself—never a good sign. “Emma, we did think of one more thing, in case you didn’t see the seriousness of the situation. One more privilege that we have granted you, that we feel you may not be mature enough to handle right now. I was so angry last night I was going to take it away from you right then—along with the rest—but Adrian convinced me to wait and see how you reacted first. To see if you were remorseful enough.”

  What is it? “I am remorseful! I promise you, I am! I’ve changed so much from last night you wouldn’t even recognize me.”

  Sadly my mom shook her head and remained firm. Whatever people had said the night before must’ve been just awful; I could see the steel light in her eye from across the counter. But honestly, I’d never thought she’d be that cruel, until she actually said,

  “Bring Clementine down. She’s going back to theAndersons today.”

  What?

  “Emma, you’ve lost the privilege of owning a puppy.”

  “NO!”

  “Yes.”

  “Mom, no. Please, you can’t. Please, mom!” It’s all I have of Chase.

  “Emmalee Elaine, go now. If you bring the dog down immediately, I will let you take her over there yourself. But, if she isn’t down here in five minutes, I’ll do it for you.”

  I ran. What else was I supposed to do? I was the new Emmalee. The Emmalee Glumm that didn’t get special privileges or rights. The realization of what I had done hit me then, really hit me. In one stupid, weak moment I had lost everything. Literally, everything I have ever loved or cherished beyond my family.

  Once I got to my room and saw little Clem sleeping in her bed, I burst into tears. The last thing I wanted to do was take her over to the Andersons myself, but I would always regret it if I didn’t say a proper goodbye. Carefully I collected as many of her things as I could find and sat them in the bed next to her. I threw my jacket on and hefted up the doggy bed. I carried her down the stairs and out the back door, that my mom held open for me.

  Gingerly I made my way up through my backyard, to the Andersons, and then up their porch to the back door. The knock sounded as hollow as my heart. I waited. A couple of minutes later Mrs. Anderson opened the door.

  “Come in, Emma. Your mom called to say you were coming.” She gave me a knowing look.

  Dang, there are days I really wish she wasn’t my mom’s best friend. I just smiled a sort of half smile in response.

  “Well, Georgia’s going to be real happy.” I could tell she was trying to lighten the mood.

  I had to give her points for trying. “I’m glad. I’m sure going to miss her.” At the sound of my voice Clementine woke up and bounded into my chest. Ahh!

  “Here, let me take the bed from you. You keep the puppy and I’ll follow you up toGeorgia’s room.”

  “Thanks.” I chuckled when Clem eagerly kissed me. I couldn’t see Chase anywhere. I was afraid to ask if he was around. No use bringing up anym
ore reminders of last night. Unless—? As I started up one side of the large double cascading staircase, I decided to put my new Emmalee Glumm to the test.

  “I’m really sorry about last night, Mrs. Anderson.” I kept walking, not looking back to see her reaction. I wasn’t that brave. Instead, I quickly filled in before she could say anything. “I don’t know what you saw or heard, but I am terribly sorry if you were offended by any of my actions. And I hope you never blame my parents for my—uh, stupidity.”

  “That was very well said, Emma.” Chase’s mom seemed surprised. So surprised she generously added, “I hope this will all pass over quickly, for your sake.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled again. Not sure what else to say.

  Georgia was in her room when we got there. “Emma! Emma!” she squealed as she ran over to me. “You did bring her!”

  Her enthusiasm totally made up for a lot of remorse I was having. I mean, if Clementine’s gotta go somewhere it might as well be to someone who loves her.

  “Can I hold her? Please, please, please?”

  “Sure.” I smiled and bent down to hand the wiggling puppy over. Clem went happily into Georgia’s arms—enthusiastically wagging her little tail. “Now, you’re going to take real good care of her, right?” I grinned and scratched Clementine’s ears.

  “Yep! We’s gonna be best friends!”

  “Can I come and see her sometime?” Er… when I’m not under house arrest?

  “Yeah! We can even have puppy tea parties.”

  I blinked back a couple of rising tears. “That sounds awesome. I can’t wait.”

  It was right about then that I decided to hightail it out of there. All at once I wanted to be a million miles away from everything. With a quick goodbye to Mrs. Anderson and Georgia, and an almost tearful goodbye to Clementine, I left.

  By the time I got home I knew my day was just beginning. I quickly baked up a batch of my mom’s famous cookies, grabbed my coat, gloves and hat, and walked the three miles to the Hart house. I probably could’ve gotten my mom to take me—or at the very least, relent and let me drive over there—but the new Emmalee Glumm needed to walk. If Cassidy can do it, then so can I. Besides, I really wanted to get my thoughts in order before I apologized to Claire and her family.