Joy drove like a maniac as they raced back toward the ACE campus.
“Joy, slow down.”
“If we miss curfew . . .”
“It’s barely after eight. We’ve got plenty of time.”
She chewed her lip distractedly. Hayden wondered if she even heard him. Something else was eating her besides missing curfew. Sure they might raise alarm if they got back late. But technically, Hayden wasn’t even sure if the ACE rules still applied to him since he was on a three-day suspension.
He reached over and put a calming hand on her arm. “Slow down or we’re not going to make it back at all.”
She eased off the gas and released a breath. “Hayden . . .”
There were tears in her eyes and he knew he didn’t want her to finish whatever sentence she’d started. “Don’t say anything.”
She glanced at him, uncertainty in her teary eyes.
“Please. Tonight was perfect, Joy. Just let me keep it for a little while longer.”
She swallowed hard but nodded. They were silent for the rest of the ride.
Joy finally pulled into the ACE parking lot and gathered her gear. When she slammed the door to the van Hayden got the distinct feeling she was shutting the door on him, too.
“Hey,” he said catching her hand.
She yanked it away like she’d been burned. “Don’t.”
He studied her for a moment, wanting to erase the regret he saw in her eyes. “What about tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow things go back to normal.”
Then she walked away.
Joy
Joy collapsed against her door when she finally managed to get inside. She slid the lock home and fell to the floor, hugging her knees as deep, ugly cries escaped her lips. She didn’t try to fight the tears this time. She knew it would be useless. So she let them come. She let herself mourn, because she had done so many things wrong in her life, but this . . . Hayden . . . he would be the thing that hurt the worst.
Before he’d come over this morning, she’d convinced herself that today would be the last day. The last day she’d spend with him, the last day she’d let herself fall for him, long for him, kiss him. But it wasn’t. She knew after what they’d shared, after the way he’d made her feel, she would never be okay with there being a last anything when it came to Hayden Anderson.
But there had to be. Because as Joy sat there on the floor hugging her knees, her phone began to ring. She knew without looking at the screen it would be Kai. She wanted it to be Kai. She wanted to put him first and she always did. But right in that instant, for a split second, she wished there was a way she could have them both.
40
Joy
The next morning, Jo dragged herself from bed earlier than usual. She knew she had to meet with Jack before she reported for duty and she wanted to be fully prepared for his interrogation. She walked Piper, finished typing up her report with her assessment of Hayden’s vitals and accounts of what they’d done the last three days—athletically speaking. Then she dressed in her lifeguard gear and headed out the door.
Jo was planning to text Hayden to remind him to report to Jack’s office once she got there, but when she walked up the stairs of the staff building Hayden was already there. His head was in his hands as he sat in a chair outside Jack’s office. He hadn’t seen Jo yet and she took a moment to let her heart settle. She hated the way it leapt every time she caught sight of him.
Finally collected, Jo continued up the stairs.
Hayden looked up.
“Hey,” she greeted.
“Hey.”
Jo couldn’t help noticing the despair in his voice. “Everything okay?”
“No, not really.”
Her heart fell. “Did Jack already make his decision? He can’t kick you out. I have my report right here. Maybe I can—”
“It’s not that, Joy.”
“Then what is it?”
“I’m thinking of dropping out.”
“What?” she whisper-hissed. “You can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because that would be stupid.”
“Would it?”
“Yes. Athletes would kill to be in this program. If Jack gives you another shot you have to take it. If you don’t, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
He huffed a laugh. “You sound like my father.”
“What does your father have to do with this?”
Hayden ran a hand across his tired face. “He called me last night. It seems Jack expressed some concern about the way my father went about getting me into ACE.”
Jo wasn’t following. “What are you talking about?”
Hayden smiled. “You really don’t know who I am, do you?”
Jo bit her lip. She didn’t like the direction this conversation was heading. “I think I know you pretty well.”
He shook his head. “You know the person I want to be.”
“Isn’t that all that matters?”
Hayden laughed bitterly. “I wish it were. But my father doesn’t see it that way. That’s the trouble with being the son of a billionaire control freak. Nothing is ever good enough. Not for him. He’s the reason I’m here, Joy. I have to bring glory to his failure, no matter what the cost. But I don’t want to do it anymore. Not if it’ll cost me you.”
“Hayden, I don’t understand.”
“Joy, I shouldn’t be at ACE. My father most likely paid the right person the right amount to look the other way concerning my medical history. I don’t even like swimming. I only do it because my father is under the impression I can capture the Olympic medal he missed in his lifetime.”
“But, I’ve seen your times. You’re good. You hold multiple records. You could’ve easily qualified for ACE.”
Hayden looked at her, surprise on his face. “You know my swim stats?”
Shit. She still hadn’t told Hayden about ACE Madness. Jo had so many secrets they were spilling out at the seams. She shrugged and played it off. “I’ve heard some of the other athletes talking.”
Hayden didn’t seem like he bought it, but he didn’t argue. “Yeah, I’ve had some good meets, but I still shouldn’t be here. I never would’ve passed the physical if it weren’t for my father greasing the wheels.”
“Why?”
“Come on, Joy. You’ve seen my scars. You’re a smart girl.”
“Your heart?”
He nodded. “I’m lucky to be alive. I shouldn’t be wasting the time I’ve been given pushing my body to the brink for a sport I don’t even enjoy.”
“Then why do you do it?”
“I made my father a promise. One shot at a medal. Get on the US team, give it my best effort, then I’m out. I can live my life after that. I can follow my dreams.” He reached for her hand, squeezing her fingers as if pleading her to understand what he meant.
The scary part was she did understand. He meant her. She could see it in his eyes, feel it in his touch. She was what he would pursue if he were free to follow his heart. She’d known it from the way he’d been willing to give himself to her last night. She’d known it from the way she wanted to take everything he offered.
Jo recoiled as she sucked in a breath. The realization that she wanted to be his dream swept through her with alarming surety. But as soon as the thought formed, she shoved it away. She couldn’t think that way. She couldn’t let him throw his shot at the Olympics away for her. It would be a waste.
She could never be Hayden’s. And she wouldn’t let him waste his heart on her when hers wasn’t available. Jo’s heart had belonged to Max and now it belonged to Kai. She’d been foolish to think she had enough left to give to Hayden as well.
“Hayden . . .” she struggled to find the right words. “You have a gift. You can’t waste it.”
His blue eyes bore into hers, pleading. “It’s not a waste if I have you.”
“Hayden . . .”
“Don’t say it, Joy. Don’t say I don’t have you, becau
se it’s a lie. I was there last night and I know what we—”
“Shhh!” Jo hissed, looking around like someone might hear. “Hayden, we can’t do this here.”
“Fine. I don’t think I can hear it right now, anyway.”
Just then Jack opened the door to his office. He looked between Jo and Hayden. He’d have to be blind not to pick up on the tension crackling through the air. Thankfully, he didn’t mention it. He just cleared his throat and invited them into his office.
Hayden
Jack gave Hayden the reprieve he needed. He probably should’ve been more nervous about walking into Jack’s office to hear the verdict of whether or not he was about to get kicked out of ACE, but he wasn’t. Because nothing could terrify Hayden more than what Joy had been about to say.
Hayden had seen the decision written in her tormented green eyes. She was going to tell him she wasn’t his and she never would be. She was going to tell him it was over. He’d felt it when she walked away from him last night and he felt it again now.
It had taken everything in Hayden not to drop to his knees and beg her to change her mind. He wanted to break every rule and ask her a million questions, because he had to know what would make her reconsider, what would make her stop fighting their connection? Because it was undeniable. Her eyes wouldn’t have looked so pained if she didn’t feel it, too.
“Take a seat,” Jack said, motioning to the two chairs in front of his desk.
Hayden didn’t know whether to be grateful or devastated they were so close together. He could feel Jo’s warmth next to him, which made it that much more infuriating that he couldn’t reach out and take her hand.
“I know you’re both eager to get back to it, so I won’t keep you long,” Jack stated. “Hayden, I’ve spoken to your father and have been made aware of your situation. While I’m not pleased with how you entered the program, I am impressed with how you’ve performed so far. Your labs and evaluation from last week look solid, and unless Jo has a different opinion, I’m willing to let you continue training.”
Hayden held his breath as he looked at Joy. She would be the deciding factor. She could make her life easier and just send him back to New York. It would gut him, but he was completely at her mercy.
Joy bit her lip before slowly shaking her head. She kept her attention focused on Jack. Professional . . . She looked cold and professional. “No, I don’t have any evidence that he shouldn’t continue with the program.” She handed Jack a few pages of typed notes. “I’ve logged his stats over the past few days. You can take a look for yourself.”
Relief flooded through Hayden. Relief and panic. This meant he was staying. This meant he still had a chance to find out how to crack Joy’s impenetrable armor. He’d been so close last night, but he could already see it fitting back into place—fresh bandages atop old wounds.
Jack flipped through the notes while Hayden studied Joy. She refused to meet his eyes, but that didn’t dissuade him. Saying he could stay was the same as saying he had a chance.
That’s all I need, Joy.
Just give me one chance.
Jack cleared his throat, calling Hayden’s attention. “Anderson, you’re free to return to training. You will however have a few stipulations.”
Hayden tensed. “Sir?”
“Before and after each training session you are to report to the medical facility for evaluation. They decide if your training continues from there. And if you have any further episodes like you did during dive training, I’m cutting you. You life is not worth a medal, son.”
“Thank you, Sir,” Hayden replied, silently wishing Jack could get his father to come to the same understanding.
“One more thing. You’ll be reporting to a new squad leader. You’re now on Ryan Wright’s squad.”
“What?” Both Hayden and Joy asked the question at the same time, earning them a careful look from Jack.
“Is there a problem with that?” Jack asked.
“No, Sir,” Hayden responded, as Joy silently shook her head.
“Good.” Jack stood up and extended his hand. Hayden took it and Jack gave him a stern look. “Don’t make me regret this, son.”
“I won’t, Sir.”
Jack gave a curt nod. “Dismissed.”
Joy
Jo stood to follow Hayden out, but Jack called her back. “Do you have a minute, Jo?”
“Sure.” Of course she did. It’s not like she could say no to her boss. But strangely, Jack was looking at her more like he was her uncle than her boss, and she didn’t like it.
“Take a seat,” he ordered.
Jo sat.
“Can I trust your assessment of Anderson?” Jack asked.
Oh God! Did he know? “What do you mean?” she asked, hoping to buy time.
Jack sighed. “Jo, I know this hasn’t been easy for you. First Max, and then Hayden nearly drowning on your watch . . .”
Jo stilled. So, that’s what this is about? Jack thought she was too weak to handle this. “Is that why you took Hayden off my team?”
“One of the reasons.”
“I really haven’t compared the two situations,” she lied.
“So, you don’t believe your personal feelings have influenced your report?”
“No.”
Jack’s mouth pressed into a hard line as he circled words on the report she’d given him, then slid it back across his desk.
Jo took the report, her eyes immediately finding the two thin ink marks encircling her betrayal. The name Max glared back at her from within Jack’s circles. Each time, Max’s name was typed where Hayden’s should’ve been.
Jo’s cheeks burned. She couldn’t believe she’d done something so stupid. She’d been so busy worrying that someone knew what was going on between her and Hayden that she’d left her mind unguarded against her muddled memories of Max. And now Jack thought she wasn’t in the right frame of mind to preform her duties. And maybe he was right, but not for the reasons he thought.
“If this is effecting your ability to do your job, I need to know, Jo.”
She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Jo had no desire to talk to her uncle about Max, but at least he wasn’t asking about Hayden. “It’s not. The only thing I’ve been concerned about is Hayden’s health.”
Jack’s expression changed to suspicion. “Did something happen to make you think he isn’t up for this?”
“No, nothing like that . . . I just saw his scars.”
“Scars?”
“Yes, on his chest.” Jo realized too late she probably shouldn’t have mentioned Hayden’s scars. She knew he was guarded about anyone seeing them, which meant Jack probably hadn’t. The fact that she had might’ve said too much.
Jack continued to frown at her. “I’m not at liberty to discuss his medical history with you, Jo. If you think he’s fit to perform that’s all I need to know.”
“He is.”
Jack didn’t look convinced. “Jo, do you . . . is there something you’re not telling me?”
“No.” Dammit! Jo had never been a good liar. Especially not when it came to her uncle. The man had a sixth sense for smelling bullshit and Jo could feel her hands begin to sweat as she tried to cover her fear.
“So, there’s nothing going on between you and Anderson that I should know about?”
“Of course not!” Oh God, he knows! He knows!
“I’m not asking as your boss, Jo.”
Deny! Deny! Deny! “The answer’s still the same, Jack.”
“Jo, you know I love you like you’re my own daughter, right?”
“Yes, of course I do.”
“And you know I want you to be happy?”
“I am happy.”
“Good. You deserve to be.”
“I know that, Jack. And I’m telling you I am happy. I love lifeguarding at ACE. And there’s nothing else going on that you need to be worried about.”
“So, you don’t wish you were lifeguarding somewhere else?”
Jo stilled. “What?”
“Kendall told me you want to get a place on Maui with Kai.”
Kendall was dead. Jo had spent the last twenty minutes sweating bullets thinking Jack knew something about her and Hayden, when really this had nothing to do with any of that—and everything to do with Kendall’s big fat mouth!
“Jo, I’m not mad. I want you to know you can talk to me about these things.”
“I was going to tell you. But it’s really just an idea right now. I have to save up some more money before I can truly consider it.”
“What does Brock think about this?”
Anger flared in Jo’s chest. “This has nothing to do with Brock.”
“Jo . . .”
“No, if we’re done talking about ACE I need to get back to work.”
Jo stood, shoving away from Jack’s desk. He called after her but she didn’t stop. He might be her boss and he might be her uncle, but Jo was done letting people tell her what to do when it came to her life and who should be in it.
41
Hayden
When Jo stormed out of Jack’s office Hayden jumped to his feet, chasing after her. He’d been waiting outside the door for a chance to speak to her. He wanted to know so many things.
Why did Jack hold you back?
Why did you say I could stay, Joy?
Does that mean you’re will finally willing to let me in?
Because I can’t let you go, Joy, I just can’t.
Unfortunately, Hayden could tell by the way Joy stormed past him without pause, she was in no mood to answer his questions. But that didn’t make him want to ask them any less. If he didn’t speak to her now, he didn’t know when he would have another chance. Jack reassigning Hayden to a different squad made things much more difficult.
“Joy, please . . . just stop for a second.”
She whirled around, causing Hayden to slam into her. His hands shot out, steadying them both on the stairs. Joy’s chest pressed against his as his arms caged her in, holding onto the railing.
“Please let me go,” she whispered.
The Summer Boyfriend Page 19