“Everything,” she hissed.
This time he did hit her. He punched her right in the stomach and she doubled over gasping for air. When she finally caught her breath she ran to the door and flung it open. The beach was beginning to fill with ACE members heading to the Luau. Good. Brock wouldn’t touch her again if he had an audience. Only cowards hit women when they were alone.
When she turned to face him there was venom in her voice. “When I look at you I see everything Max wasn’t. I see a weak, pathetic coward. I see nothing, Brock. You are nothing. Not even a shadow of what Max was. You are the absence of him and it makes me hate you.”
“You didn’t say that when you were kissing me,” he sneered.
“That was two years ago. I’m done apologizing for it, Brock. If anything you’re the one who owes me an apology.”
“What the hell do I have to be sorry for?”
“How about the fact that you just put your hands on me and that you’ve done it before. Or how about two years ago, when you took advantage of me after Max’s anniversary memorial when I was drunk and heartbroken over your brother?” she yelled.
People stopped and looked toward Jo’s apartment, but she didn’t care. She stood in her open door, holding her ground.
Brock shrugged, looking completely unfazed. “If that’s how you want to remember it.”
“That’s how it happened, Brock. And it will never happen again. Do you hear me? Never. Now get the hell out of my apartment.”
His jaw muscles ticked, but Brock walked past her onto the porch. “You’re gonna regret this, Jo.”
“I’m sorry, but I highly doubt I will.”
He laughed. The sound was like a sickness spreading through her. “No, you’re not sorry yet, Jo. But you will be.”
She slammed the door shut in his smug face and hugged her arms around herself to stop the shaking.
48
Hayden
Hayden knocked on Joy’s door but no one answered. He didn’t hear Piper inside either. He wondered if Joy was at the Luau. That’s where everyone else was, where he was supposed to be. But he wasn’t in the mood to celebrate right now. He doubted he’d ever be if his suspicions turned out to be true.
He wished there was a way to find out without telling Joy what he feared. If it wasn’t true, if Max wasn’t his donor, then Hayden would upset her over nothing and completely destroy any chance he might still have with her. But if it was true . . . then it was over anyway. There was no way Joy would want to be with Hayden if she knew he stole Max’s heart.
Hayden kicked the sand as he walked further down the beach. He wished so badly he’d never heard the name Max Keller. Then he could live in ignorant bliss. Pining after Joy was better than having no hope at all. And that’s what this news did to Hayden—it made him hopeless—Joyless.
Hayden skirted his way around the party that was taking over the beach. The Luau was in full swing and everyone looked like they were enjoying themselves. ACE athletes and staff mingled in the sand, sharing drinks and conversation.
High-pitched laughter drew Hayden’s attention and that familiar pain gnawed at his chest again when he saw the dark haired little boy giggling in Joy’s arms. He knew—in that instant, watching Joy hold her son in her arms, smiling at him while he squealed with delight—Hayden knew the heart in his chest belonged to them. It was Max’s. He didn’t need any medical files to prove it. He didn’t need anything at all, except maybe to soak up this moment a little while longer.
Joy
Despite how the day started, the Luau turned things around. Brock had disappeared and that was fine by Jo. She spent the night under the stars, watching fire dancers with her family and eating way too much food. Kai fell asleep in her lap during the hula show and her brothers helped her carry him and all the gear back to her apartment, while Piper happily trailed them.
Everyone was so tired from overeating that they passed out on any available surface left in Jo’s tiny ACE apartment. Ryan took the couch, Ethan was draped over the loveseat and Lucas passed out face down on the carpet. His stupor was mostly from trying to outdrink Kendall, but for once, Jo didn’t mind their crazy antics. Truthfully, it was just good to see all her brothers happy. And having them around for the entire day had been exactly what Jo needed. Being with her family always healed her heart.
As Jo carried Kai to bed with her, she couldn’t think of one thing to complain about. She had her little boy and her family—nothing else mattered.
They were what she was working for. They were why she always put her heart last. Because, Kai, her family, her brothers . . . they were the good in her life, the parts worth holding on to, sacrificing for. And in Jo’s experience, it was one or the other—family or love. She didn’t get to have both.
Hayden
Hayden lay in bed trying to sleep, but it refused to come. After watching Joy and Kai on the beach he knew he couldn’t break the news to them. Not yet anyway. It would’ve ruined their day and there was no way Hayden could to that. He’d never seen Joy so happy and he didn’t want to be the one to steal that from her. After what she’d been through she deserved every morsel of happiness she could soak up.
So instead, Hayden lay in the dark, bathed in enough heartbreak for all of them.
For Joy.
For Kai.
For Max.
For himself.
There would be time to share it tomorrow.
Brock
Brock finished his last beer and threw the bottle into the woods where he waited. He’d been watching Jo’s apartment for hours, but her brothers were still in there and didn’t show any sign of leaving.
But that was fine. Brock had waited this long. He could be patient. He could wait a little bit longer. Sooner or later, Jo’s brothers wouldn’t be around and that’s when he’d make his move. When she was unguarded.
“They won’t be there forever, Jo. And then you’ll be mine.”
Brock cracked his knuckles and let himself fantasize about all the things he wanted to do to Jo. God, it would be so satisfying to have her after waiting this long. Especially after nearly thinking he’d lost her when that ACE-hole, Hayden, came into the picture. But that dipshit didn’t have a clue who he was dealing with.
Brock smirked to himself, quite pleased with the look he’d seen on Hayden’s face when he’d met Kai. Brock honestly couldn’t believe the guy showed up after the text he’d sent. He still wished he could’ve been a fly on the wall for the conversation that followed. But seeing the complete shock and horror on Hayden’s face when he met Kai was almost reward enough. It was blatantly obvious that Jo hadn’t told Hayden shit about Max or Kai. And that meant she liked him.
Too bad, so sad. Hayden was probably running for the airport right about now.
Now all that was left for Brock to do was wait.
“It’s almost time, Jo,” he whispered into the darkness. “It’s almost time for us.”
49
Joy
“But I don’t wanna go back, Mommy! I want you to come with me!”
“Kai, baby, I can’t. Mommy has to work. But we’ll be back together in a few more weeks, okay?”
“No!” Kai blubbered, burying his tearful face in Jo’s neck. “Please, Mommy. Why won’t you come with me?”
Jo felt like her heart was being torn from her chest. Kai’s words gutted her. She wanted to scream and cry just as much as he did. Saying goodbye to him once this summer was hard enough. This was precisely why she hadn’t wanted Kai to come home until ACE was over, and if Brock had asked Jo, she would’ve said no to avoid this very situation.
The weekend had been incredible, but like all weekends, they came to an end. Tomorrow Jo had to go back to work and that meant Kai had to go back to Maui.
“Maybe I can just keep him at the house with me?” Pam suggested, watching Kai’s meltdown helplessly from her spot on Jo’s couch.
“You know that won’t work,” Jo argued. “He’ll just run away li
ke he did last time.”
Two weeks before ACE started Kai had nearly given them all heart attacks by sneaking out of his room when he was supposed to be napping. He walked all the way from Pam and Jack’s to Locos where Jo was working because he ‘missed Mommy’.
Pam wasn’t to blame. Jo knew how stubborn her son was. It was something he’d inherited from her. But she also knew that he would be much better off if he was in Maui and not tempted with running to see her because he knew he could.
Jo looked back at her son, studying his stunning blue-green eyes. They were the perfect mixture of hers and Max’s. Everything else about Kai resembled Max, but his eyes, they were part hers. Jo never tired of looking at Kai. He was proof that she and Max had come together and their love had made something lasting and beautiful.
She spoke softly as she stroked his dark hair. “Kai, baby, can you look at me?”
He did.
“Do you know how much I love you?” she asked.
“To Daddy and back?”
“That’s right,” she said squeezing him into a tight hug. “And if I can love you all the way to heaven and back, don’t you think I can love you just the same if you’re only a short boat ride away in Maui?”
He stuck his little lip out, but nodded.
“Good boy,” she said kissing him on the head. “Now let’s go say goodbye to Piper before you go with Grandma Gina and Grandma Pam, okay?”
“Okay.”
After Kai made his rounds and said goodbye to everyone, Jo stood on her front porch and watched them walk toward the ACE building to say one last goodbye to Jack. Ethan and Lucas were with them. They were going to take the ferry to Maui too, which made Kai totally forget he was even sad to leave.
The ACE celebration was continuing on Maui at the Sunday street fair. It wasn’t an official ACE sanctioned event, but it was tradition for the athletes who made it halfway to go to Maui and blow off steam. There were more bars there, which equaled more opportunities to cut loose.
“You sure you don’t want to come to Maui with us?” Ryan asked. He’d remained behind to help Jo clean up the mess from their impromptu sleepover-turned-family-breakfast.
“No, I don’t think I could survive saying goodbye to Kai again today.”
Ryan frowned. “Want me to stay and keep you company?”
“Nah, you’ve done enough. Thank you so much for ordering breakfast for everyone.”
“No problem. But are you sure you don’t want some extra company today?”
“I’ve got Piper to keep me company.” At the mention of her name the dog looked up from the kitchen floor where she was scrounging for crumbs.
Ryan finished putting the last of the dishes away and pulled Jo in for another bone-crushing hug. “Well, then I guess I’m off. See ya on the flipside, Jo-Jo.”
“See ya,” she said squeezing him back.
Halfway to the door, Ryan stopped and turned back to face her. “I know you don’t need my approval, but I’m givin’ it to ya anyway. You’re a good mom, Jo. Kai knows it, too. So, cut yourself some slack every once in a while.”
Jo swallowed the lump in her throat as she smiled shyly at her brother. “Thanks, Ryan. I needed that today.”
“Anytime.”
After he left, Jo flopped down onto the couch and called Piper over. The dog settled into her lap flipping over to have her belly scratched. Jo obliged but got growled at when she stopped to look at her phone.
“Hold on, Greedy, I’ve gotta read my text messages.”
Piper rolled over and hoped down, obviously offended with Jo’s lack of multitasking skills.
Her phone had three text notifications. All of them from Brock.
I want you to come back to Maui with us.
I’ll be at the ferry waiting.
This is your last chance.
Jo turned her phone off wishing flip phones were still a thing because she had a sudden urge to slam something shut. Turning her phone off wasn’t enough. She wanted to slam it closed just like she wanted to slam close the chapter in her life that involved Brock.
“I just need to get through the next three weeks. Then I can get the hell off this island and away from him.”
Moving to Maui wasn’t her first choice. Especially since it meant she’d be giving Gina exactly what she wanted. But Gina was the lesser of two evils. She might be delusional about her son, but what mother wasn’t? And honestly, Gina loved Kai just as much as Jo did. She would never do anything to hurt him and Jo trusted Gina with Kai’s life or she’d never let him spend so much time with her. Of course the custody arrangement didn’t give Jo much choice, but Gina had been more than accommodating. Brock was another story.
Thinking about Brock was giving Jo a headache. She leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes. She hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. She never slept well when Kai was in her bed. He squirmed like a snake in his sleep. But even if he didn’t, she’d still have stayed awake.
Ever since Kai was born, Jo had a terrible feeling that he was going to get snatched away from her, just like Max had. She’d stay awake for hours just watching him sleep when he was an infant to make sure he was breathing. Three years later, whenever he was in her bed, Jo still did the same thing.
Having a child was exhausting, but for none of the reasons she thought it would be. Jo loved all the messy moments, the chasing him around moments, the cleaning up after him moments. She didn’t even mind the late nights when he was sick or trips to the ER when he skinned his knee. She loved every moment with Kai because he was a constant reminder that she was alive and so was a part of Max.
But the part of being a parent that surprised Jo the most was the constant fear she now lived in. That was the part that was truly exhausting. Jo was terrified she was going to fail her son. Terrified someday something or someone would take him away from her. And that fear was debilitating. It was like walking around with her heart outside her chest, trying to protect it from the world.
Jo might be terrified of her role as a mother, but she would never trade it for anything. She would live in fear every day for the rest of her life rather than suffer one day without hearing her son’s voice.
She let her happy thoughts of Kai fill her mind as she drifted off on the couch, the drowsy morning sun lulling her to sleep while Piper curled up at her feet.
Hayden
The sun was shining and the birds were chirping, but somehow Hayden didn’t find the renewed sense of hope the new day usually brought him. For so long his life had been lived day to day. Each night he prayed he’d get one more sunrise. And each time he did, he cherished it.
After his heart transplant, his routine stayed the same. He awoke slowly every morning, praying he was opening his eyes to the world and not some afterlife. For months he kept waiting for something to happen. For his new heart to fail or his body to reject it. Everything was going too well, too smoothly. It wasn’t what he was used to.
There had been none of the usual hiccups or setbacks Hayden normally experienced after surgery. So when the complications came now, three years after the fact, it was safe to say, he was shocked. Joy was the complication. She was the side effect that his doctors forgot to warn him about.
Warning: this heart belongs to someone else. Should you cross her path you’ll have to give it back.
And he would. Hayden could honestly say if he could give the heart back to Max and take his place, he would. Because he knew that if it brought Joy even an ounce of the happiness he’d witnessed when he’d watched her with Kai on the beach that it would be worth it. That his life would’ve served a purpose. Because what was he doing with his life now? What was his purpose?
Hayden thought he would never get complacent, that there wouldn’t be a day that he would take his life for granted. But when he woke up this morning with a dull ache in his empty chest he knew he was wrong.
Max’s heart had been wasted on him. What had Hayden done with it? He’d lived his father’s dreams a
nd failed at his own. Joy had been the only thing Hayden could say he’d truly wanted for himself. But finding out the heart that wanted hers was already her property stole even that from Hayden.
He wished he could say that he trusted his gut and his head, that they were enough to prove the few moments he’d shared with Joy were real. But even if they were, they would never hold a candle to what she had with Max. He’d seen photos of them together during his deep dive into the pit of hell known as the Internet.
Photos upon photos of Joy and Max.
Joy beaming at Max.
Joy laughing at something Max said.
Joy and Max sharing something that would always be their secret.
In every photo she’d looked radiant, glowing with vibrancy and happiness. She looked alive. And in the photos where she was looking at Max . . . Well, Joy had never looked at Hayden like that. Not once. Not even the night they’d slept together. There was always a distance to the way she guarded herself, only showing him slivers of herself at a time, reserving the rest. Hayden hadn’t known why at the time, but now he did. Joy kept her true self hidden from him because it was the part of her that she reserved for Max.
She wasn’t like that on the beach with Kai. It was the first time Hayden had met that version of Joy. She looked strangely like the girl from the photos he’d found online—the photos of the girl who was still in love with Max.
Hayden’s lungs filled with anguish as he finally let a desperate sob escape. He hated the thoughts running through his mind. Thoughts that he would still love Joy if she let him, even if that meant only getting to love the fraction of her that she allowed him to have. But that wasn’t fair to her. She deserved to be whole. And that meant she deserved someone who made her want to be whole.
Another sob ripped from Hayden, because he knew he wasn’t that guy—with Max’s heart or not.
The Summer Boyfriend Page 25