Returning Home

by Toni Shiloh

  His friend heaved a deep sigh. “Chloe will never know I exist. Oh sure, she sees me. But not me.” Darryl ran a hand over his five o’clock shadow. “What I wouldn’t give for that woman to notice me.”

  “Dude, you know she’s a church girl? When’s the last time you sat in a pew?”

  “Not since my old man...” Darryl stopped mid-thought, looking at the ground.

  Evan closed his eyes. He’d almost forgotten what had happened. “How about we go this weekend?” He clamped his mouth shut, already regretting his words.

  Was he even ready to go back to church? Sure he talked to God now, but church was a whole other level of commitment. There would be a ton of people. People who saw him grow up. People who remembered how fast he could hustle up and down a court. And those same people would see him sitting in a chair. Probably being pushed by Senior if he has his way.

  “You know what, I think I will go with you.”

  Evan nodded but, inside, dread filled him.

  Chapter Nine

  The doorbell pealed through the house. Jo glanced at her watch. Who could be visiting this time of day? She rolled a strip of tape along the top of a cardboard box to seal it and sat the tape down before heading downstairs. Even though she and Michelle hadn’t found a new place yet, packing gave her a new level of calm. It signified that she would be soon leaving.

  The doorbell rang again followed by the pounding noise of someone knocking.

  “Coming!” she yelled. Good grief, I’m not moving that slow. She yanked open the door ready to give whoever was on the other side a piece of her mind.

  “About time you answered the door.” Her sister flounced inside as if she owned the place.

  “Good morning to you, too.” She shut the door, mentally preparing herself for a drama-filled encounter. Jo faced Vanessa, who was tapping an impatient foot along the foyer’s wood floors.

  “What’s this I hear about you leaving Mother all alone?” She gave her a haughty look complete with a raised arched eyebrow, as if to signify the absurdity of it all.

  Breathe, girl. She crossed her arms. Hopefully reasoning would work with her sister. “Vanessa, Mother is barely home. She’s always with her friends at the club or in the city shopping. And I’m rarely home unless I’m in between projects. Believe me, she’ll never miss me.”

  Her sister rolled her eyes and then sauntered into the living room, laying her Prada purse on the mahogany end table. She flicked her curly brown tresses over her shoulder as she sat down, crossing her legs in debutante fashion.

  “Mother is always out because she can’t take the solitude without you here to keep her company. Of course, she’d make herself busy with shopping and the club. Would you want to sit alone in a home without your dear husband, focusing on his demise day in and day out?”

  Jo rolled her eyes at the drama pouring from her sister like water from a broken pipe. “Nessa, –”

  “No, Va-nessa. I’m not your ‘homie,’ so don’t shorten my name.”

  She barely held back a laugh at Vanessa’s use of air quotes. Sometimes she just couldn’t take her sister seriously. “Whatever, Vanessa. Mother will be perfectly fine without me here. But if you’re so concerned with her plight, why don’t you ask her to move in with you and Lance.”

  Her sister threw back her head and laughed. Why she found the suggestion so amusing was beyond Jo. Then again, Vanessa was the baby of the family. She’d always been a little self-centered and spoiled. Marrying a doctor, who was all too happy to meet her every demand and whim, didn’t help either. Asking Vanessa to take their mother in was like shooting darts in the dark. Pointless. Sometimes she couldn’t believe they were really sisters.

  “Jo Ellen, you cannot be serious. Lance is a very busy man and his practice takes up a lot of his time. Not to mention the many conferences he must attend. I’m gone as much as you are; she would have no one in our home to look after her, except maybe the maid.”

  “You don’t even work. How can you possibly be gone so much?”

  “I’ll have you know that being a doctor’s wife comes with many responsibilities. I’m sure someone in your line of work wouldn’t understand.” Her sister stood up, the tone of her voice dropping a few degrees.

  Jo looked at her, taking in their physical differences. They were complete opposites in every imaginable way. She stood at five feet and eight inches and felt like a giant to her sister’s five-feet-two-inch frame. Vanessa’s hair hung in curls, which were manufactured on a weekly basis at the hair salon. Her own hair hung down straight from her standard ponytail, and the only time she darkened the doorsteps of a salon was to get it straightened. It allowed her to wear a hard hat unencumbered. Chloe kept trying to get her to go natural, but she didn’t like wasting so much time on hair.

  Besides their physical differences, their maturity levels were vastly different. Vanessa was two years younger but had married a man fourteen years her senior. Whether that made her more mature or not, Jo had yet to figure out. Vanessa was no more than a spoiled child with access to a major credit card. At one point, Jo had tried to make a connection with her little sister, but Vanessa made it perfectly clear they would never be friends.

  “Seems sad to hear that you can’t make time for a woman you stress is in dire need of companionship. I mean, I did it for over a year.” She stared pointedly at her sister.

  “Good for you, Jo Ellen. I have a life.”

  “Hmm, obviously one more important than your mother. I’ll be sure to pass that along.” Without waiting for a reply, she moved to the door and opened it. She couldn’t figure out which was worse: arguing with her mother or her sister.

  Family.

  “As if Mother would ever believe you care more about her than I do. She understands my commitment to my husband. Maybe one day you’ll understand what it means to put your needs aside for someone other than yourself.” Vanessa gave a slow perusal of her clothing. “Then again, dressed like that, you’ll be lucky enough to get a woman to look at you.”

  With a smirk, her sister sauntered out of the house, down to the driveway and to her parked Jaguar.

  TAKING AN INCONSPICUOUS glance out the window, Evan looked for Jo’s beat-up pickup. She said she’d be by with the plans, but time crept by. He wanted to see what she had in mind so badly, he almost thought his left foot had been fidgeting. He looked down at the missing member. Yep, you’re going crazy.

  Leaving his parents’ house was an important step. Jo probably looked at the plans as blueprints, but they were more like freedom papers to him. He ran a hand down his face. Be cool, Ev, be cool.

  He looked out the window again. The leaves were starting to fall like crazy. Before he knew it, the frigid winter air would take up residence. God willing, he’d be in his new place by then. Could he handle seeing Jo every day for renovations?

  Well, you were friends at one time.

  How could he forget the easy friendship that had flowed between them in junior high? They had been in all the same classes together since their last names put them in the same homeroom every year. He remembered how they had joked and laughed. Friendship hadn’t been defined as boy versus girl back then. It had been as natural as the changing fall colors.

  Yet when he saw her at high school, his world had tilted on its axis. She had shot up a few inches and her body had begun to round out. All of a sudden she wasn’t just a friend. She was a woman. He hadn’t known how to handle it, so he teased her.

  You were a jerk. And he probably still was.

  He felt so bad for calling her ‘four eyes’ that he went to apologize after first period. Unfortunately his boys, Guy and Darryl, came upon them in the midst of his apology. They would have laughed hearing him apologize, so he stopped in mid-sentence and made a comment about her braces. He really didn’t care about them, but he knew she hated them.

  The soul-crushing look she directed his way had been his undoing. It was no wonder she hated him. He never let up the remaining years of hi
gh school. It had become a habit. At first, he liked the laughter, as if they found him important because he could make them laugh. Then it became a way to cement his popularity status. For some reason, he thought he had to surround himself with certain people in order to be somebody. He’d made sure to not let a day go by without making some derogatory comment.

  Why in the world would she even take this job?

  He turned at the sound of footsteps and saw his mom walking toward him. “Hey, Mom.”

  “Hey, what are you doing staring at the window?” She looked at him with a twinkle in her eye.

  “Just taking in the view.” Could she hear his feigned nonchalance?

  “Oh...sure. Lake looks beautiful,” his mom said as she came to stand next to him. She smiled and then looked down at him. “Now there’s a beauty.” She pointed outside.

  Evan glanced out the window. Jo was here. She looked just as amazing today as she did yesterday.

  Wait, amazing? Come on.

  Apparently reminiscing had messed with his head. She had on her standard overalls, but they suited her somehow.

  He looked up, realizing his mom had said something. “What did you say?”

  “I was asking if you guys are going to look over the plans together?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Do you want to sit down with us and offer your opinion and advice?” He held his breath, hoping she would say no, but not sure why. Last time, he’d been more than grateful for her presence.

  “No, I need to go to the grocery store. I just got a last-minute reservation for a couple who will be checking in by dinner time.”

  “Understood.”

  Upon hearing Jo’s knock, his mom walked away to open the door. He remained by the window, listening to Jo’s melodic voice, and prayed that God would give him wisdom and the words he needed.

  It was time to apologize.

  Slowly, he wheeled toward the two women. It sounded like his mom was letting Jo know that she had to leave. He came to a stop, hoping Jo would look his way and give some kind of smile. It would help the apology go more smoothly. She turned and gave him a look that could freeze water.

  Okay, a smile is out.

  He cleared his throat. “We can sit in the kitchen and go over the plans.”

  “Sure, that’s no problem.” The tone of her voice said otherwise. If the dropping temperature in the room was any indication, Jo had no desire to be anywhere near him.

  He heaved a sigh. How could he hope his apology would be well received when she kept throwing daggers at him? He turned his chair around and headed for the kitchen. Was it too late to apologize?

  Maybe if he started the meeting off with an apology it would prevent her from freezing the air. Evan made his way to the breakfast nook, thankful for its bench seating. The seat hugged the corner of the eat-in area, and it left the other side of the table wide open. He never liked the table, but now that he could just wheel up to the open side, it seemed like it was designed just for him.

  Jo slid into the seat.

  “I just want to say I appreciate the time and effort you’ve put into these plans.” He paused, searching for the words. Lord, please help me out here.

  The prayer formed quickly in his mind. Amazing. It looked like his relationship with God was back on the right track and Evan needed that more than ever. He exhaled and stared straight into Jo’s eyes.

  Here goes.

  “I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry for the way I treated you in high school. I could blame it on youth or stupidity, but neither one of those is an excuse. Frankly, I was a world-class jerk, and I’m sorry for shredding any semblance of the friendship we had with my behavior. I hope you can forgive me.”

  She stared at him and it took all his power not to squirm in his seat. What was she thinking? Except for the slight widening of her eyes, Jo’s face gave nothing away. She didn’t even blink. Hadn’t blinked since he started talking.

  “I’d like to try and be friends again.” He continued. “Do you think that could be possible?”

  Jo shook her head slightly. “Come again?”

  Had she heard anything he said? “I’m sorry for being a jerk. Could we be friends again? Will you forgive me?”

  She slowly nodded.

  “Is that a yes to the apology or friendship?”

  “The apology.”

  He gulped. What did he expect?

  Friendship. “I can understand that. Would it be too much to ask for you to think about the friendship part?”

  “Definitely too much to ask.” She pulled out the blueprints. “Let’s get down to business.”

  He sighed, but nodded. He didn’t know why it mattered, but suddenly he wanted to be her friend. What can I do to win her friendship back, Lord?

  Chapter Ten

  Jo hurried into The Space. Chloe greeted her with a smile, which quickly fell once she took in Jo’s expression. She could only imagine how the fury altered her looks.

  “What’s wrong, JoJo?”

  “That man had the nerve to ask me to be his friend.” She flopped into the chair facing Chloe’s desk. “Can you believe that?”

  “Which man are you referring to?” Her friend’s soft voice sounded lower in contrast to Jo’s own.

  “You know who I’m referring to. Evan,” she seethed as her lip curled. Just saying his name made her tense up. “Evan Carter, the man who thinks he can walk all over someone and then simply apologize like it’s water under the sink or whatever the expression is.”

  Her friend’s laughter bubbled up into the air. “Oh, Jo, it was twelve years ago. Shouldn’t it be water under the bridge? You can’t honestly have carried a grudge all this time. Didn’t you tell me you wanted to help him?”

  She frowned at Chloe. Was she serious? The man had put dung in her locker. Dung! “I know what I said, but how can he think I would accept his apology and then say ‘Sure let’s be friends.’ Who does that?”

  Ugh. She jumped to her feet and began pacing.

  “JoJo, are you really that bothered by his friendship request? I mean you were friends at one point, weren’t you?”

  Was she? He had seemed sincere in his request but that’s not what bothered her. “It came out of the blue, Chloe.” She picked up a paper weight, jostling it back and forth in her hands.

  “How so?”

  “We’ve been arguing and throwing barbs at each other and now suddenly he wants to apologize for destroying my high school years and thinks I want to shake hands and be friends? Seriously, I don’t want to overact, but who does that?”

  She sagged against the wall, throwing the paperweight into the air. The man was infuriating. How could he think a simple apology would undo the years of damage she had suffered at his hand? And then, to add insult to injury, his request that they become friends was a load of...

  Well, she didn’t want to say what it was.

  “Michelle did it to me.”

  Jo sat up. “What do you mean?” She bit her lip, trying to clamp down the rest of the words begging to be released.

  “We haven’t talked in twelve years, but all of a sudden she came back to Freedom Lake, apologized and then asked to be friends again.”

  Jo winced inwardly. Had she been wrong suggesting Michelle apologize? She flopped back into the chair. You’re a hypocrite, Jo Baker.

  No, it was a completely different situation. Wasn’t it? She picked imaginary lint from her pants leg. “Did you forgive her?”

  Chloe nodded. “What else could I do? It’s Michelle, and although our hiatus was longer than our friendship, I missed her as a friend.”

  Jo stared down at her work-roughened hands. Was she being honest about her feelings for Evan? Could it be she was so upset because her feelings ran a little on the more-than-friends side?

  Her finger mindlessly slipped against her necklace. Should she follow Chloe’s lead and forgive and be his friend?

  Sometimes, life really was too difficult.

  EVAN NODDED IN THANKS as a
patron held the door open for him, allowing him to wheel into LeeAnn’s Bakery. His father had dropped him off so he could meet Darryl. Only now, he wanted to back out of the store and hide out at the B&B.

  He scanned the eatery, searching for a curly mop of hair. Darryl caught his eye, holding a hand up in the air. Eyes followed his every move as he made his way to the back of the bakery. He bent his head, his chin almost touching his chest, as he concentrated on not rolling over anyone’s foot or belongings that littered the aisle. His chest tightened as the stares continued to take in his appearance. Didn’t people ever consider how they could be potentially blocking a handicapped person?

  His head jerked back. Not once had he put into words what he was. He was handicapped, disabled, in need of aid to get around. His heartbeat raced as he wavered. More than anything, he wanted to be back in that butler’s pantry where the world couldn’t see him. But the other half wanted, no begged, for life to have some semblance of normalcy.

  Swallowing his pride, Evan kept rolling until he got to Darryl.

  “Hey, Ev, glad you could make it.”

  He nodded, still trying to get his emotions under control.

  “Got you a coffee and a blueberry muffin.”

  He could do this. “Thanks, D. Did you get any sugar?” He couldn’t stand the taste of coffee without it. His mom always joked at how much sugar he put in it.

  His friend pointed to the sugar container on the table and grinned.

  “So what’s up? Why did you want to meet?” He finished pouring the sugar and looked up at Darryl whose mouth hung open. “What?”

  “Dude, do you know how unhealthy that is? Your teeth are going to rot, not to mention the damage you’re doing to your arteries.”

  “Sorry, doc.”

  “If I saw one of my patients put that much sugar in their coffee—”

  “Should kids even be drinking coffee?” he asked, cutting Darryl off.

  “No, but that’s not my point. You added way too much sugar. You’re like a poster child for diabetes.”