by Toni Shiloh
WHISTLING “MY FUNNY Valentine,” Evan wheeled himself into the kitchen. He’d woken refreshed for the first time in a long time. Not one dream about Brenda or the accident tortured him during the night. And, for once, the phantom pain hadn’t bothered him. He’d woken up hungry and ready to embrace the day.
His mother turned around at the sound of his tune. “Good morning, Evan. What has you so chipper?”
“A good night’s rest. You should try it some time.” He winked at her, pleased to hear her laughter.
Since the night of his accident, she’d been worried about him. Although he knew it, it had never tugged at him as he had been lost in his own mind. He took stock of her, noting how the gray hairs had multiplied and the lines on her face had deepened. It made her welcoming laughter that much more special.
“Psssh, listen to you. I’ll have you know, since you’ve moved back home, I’ve slept like a baby.”
“Guess you’ll be grouchy like one when I move out again, huh?”
“Nope, because you’ll be a couple of minutes away when you do. You hungry?”
He nodded and backed up to the table, so he could face his mom while talking to her. He wanted her advice, but wasn’t sure if she was the right person to ask.
“Mom?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Why do you think Brenda was wrong for me?” Ever since she mentioned it, the thought had been burning a hole in the back of his skull.
She propped a hand on the counter. “Brenda’s a sweet girl, but your life was way too easy with her.”
He frowned. She had said that before, but it didn’t make any more sense now than it did before. “Isn’t love supposed to be easy?”
“Of course not, whoever said that was lying.” His mom laughed.
“But, you and dad...”
“Psshaw, I’m half-tempted to knock him out on a daily basis.”
He knew she would never hit his dad, but the thought of her being mad at him was comical. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you two argue.”
“That’s what the bedroom is for.”
“Say what now?”
Her shoulders shook, and her eyes brightened with laughter. “What I mean was we agreed to never argue in front of you. Now whether or not that was a wise choice, I can’t say. Maybe it wasn’t, considering you think love should be easy. If your other half doesn’t challenge you, doesn’t help you see life in a new way, then you’re not in love with that person. You can love anyone, but the right person, the one you want to marry, will make you love them even when they’re irritating you beyond belief.”
He shook his head. Evan didn’t know if he believed her, but he knew that loving Brenda had been easy. She never argued with him and always caved to his will. His brow furrowed. Was that a bad thing?
An image of Jo’s face appeared. The fire in her eyes when he did something to annoy her sparked something deep inside of him. Being around Jo was far from easy and somehow he knew Jo Ellen Baker wouldn’t be easy to love.
Chapter Fourteen
The melodic sound of horns from her iPod soothed Jo’s nerves. Today, she and Evan were going to pick out items for his kitchen. Soon he’d have the keys and ownership would be transferred to him. Evan wanted the kitchen remodel to be done first. Thankfully, he wasn’t going to move in until all the renovations were complete.
She wondered if he was nervous about living by himself. It had been five months since the accident and he hadn’t been on his own since. She looked out the window, noting the trees were almost bare. Although a cold front from Canada had rushed in frosty temperatures and high winds, it left almost as quickly as it came. Maybe winter would stay away for a few more weeks longer.
Before the song ended, Jo pulled up to the Carter’s B&B. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves. Remember be more cordial, but don’t forget, this is a friendly, business relationship. Nodding at her face in the mirror, she slapped the visor shut and got out of her truck.
She rounded the front porch and stopped. Evan sat on the porch in a black peacoat and green beanie. Why did she always seem to notice how handsome he was?
“Hey there, stranger,” he called out.
“Morning, you ready to go shopping like a girl?” He laughed and the sound warmed her insides.
“If you mean go to multiple stores,” he said, wheeling toward her, “and then return to the first one to get the first pick, not really.”
This time she laughed. Was it her imagination or did his grin get wider? “What I mean, friend, is that we won’t be leaving until you’re completely satisfied with your purchase. You’ll be surprised how many of my male clients are more indecisive when it comes to picking out faucets and sink inlays than the females are.”
He scoffed at her. “Puh-lease. Get in and get out. That’s my philosophy.” He went down the ramp and headed for the passenger side of her truck.
“Do you need help?”
“No, but if you could put my chair in the back that would be great. There’s a lever here that makes it collapse.”
After he got settled in the truck, she pushed the lever and watched in amazement as it collapsed. Why are you so surprised?
Somewhere in the deep recesses of her brain she had to know the chairs collapsed. She bit her lip. Maybe it wasn’t so hard to overcome the difficulties of needing assistance.
The drive into the city went by surprisingly fast. She’d asked if he wanted to stick to Freedom Lake, but Evan requested he be taken to her favorite store to purchase the kitchen necessities. Their laughter filled the cab all the way to the hardware store in Kodiak City.
Why had she been so worried? She had been a little hesitant to spend so much time in his presence, but he made her feel comfortable. When was the last time she had laughed so much or felt more at ease? It was almost like hanging out with her girlfriends, except there was no way Evan could be mistaken for a girl.
He oozed masculinity, from the cedar-scented cologne all the way to his blunt-cut-square-shaped fingertips. She couldn’t remember the last time she noticed every detail about a man.
Stop it, Jo. He’s not a boyfriend prospect.
The thought caused her joy to dim. It had been awhile since she’d been on a date. Maybe she just needed to go on one and stop thinking of Evan. Pleased with the idea she smiled inwardly.
They got out of the truck and as they neared the store, she pushed the handicap button so Evan could wheel in. She pointed straight ahead. “The kitchen section is in the back.”
“Lead the way, oh fearless leader.”
She laughed and walked forward. Once he saw the endless possibilities in the kitchen department, would his good mood last? It could be overwhelming to beginners. She’d been in awe her first time here. They had everything you could think of. If she had to pick out things for herself and not a client, she’d probably never leave.
They paused at the cabinet aisle and Jo pointed to the models. “We’ll start here. Once you know the style and color of the cabinets, everything else comes together. Too many people think you start with the hardware or the counters.” She shook her head. “Not true.”
“Okay,” he drawled. “They all look the same to me.” He looked back and forth between the displays with confusion etched upon his face.
“Right?” She held one of the cabinet doors open and knocked on it. “Hear that?” At his nod she went to a different display and repeated her motions. “Can you hear the difference?”
“Yeah, that’s crazy. The first one sounded hollow.”
“That’s because it’s made from plastic laminate. The other one is solid wood.”
“What’s the difference? Price?” he asked, his voice going up as he read the price tag displayed on the countertop.
“Yes, price is a difference but also durability. The laminate cabinets are something you find in apartments or something you don’t plan on staying in for long term. But if you plan on retiring in Freedom Lake, I’d suggest the solid wood bec
ause it will last years with all the strain you’ll put on it by just using it. Plus, if you decide years from now that you want them a different color, then you can take them off, sand them down and recolor. Easy peasy.”
She watched as he rubbed his chin in thought. He looked at her, and she felt a piercing in her heart. How did he look at her like she was the only one around?
“What would you do?”
“I’d use the solid wood.” Was her voice breathless? She felt heat creep up her neck. Get it together, Jo.
He nodded slowly. “Okay, that’s what I want. But I don’t like the color. The tan wood seems unmanly for a lack of a better word.”
“Great, now we’re getting somewhere.”
They shopped for a few hours, going over every item he’d need in his renovated kitchen. Whenever he faltered, he’d ask her opinion and usually took her advice. She felt lightheaded from the day with him. Never had she had someone pay so much attention to her, like her words were worth gold. It was a heady experience.
As they drove back to Freedom Lake, Jo couldn’t help but wonder about his finances. She knew he’d been compensated from the accident, but didn’t he need a regular job? Come to think of it, he hadn’t mentioned working at all.
She ran her finger along her necklace. Should she ask him? Jo glanced over at him and startled as his dark brown eyes met her gaze.
He raised an eyebrow. “Penny for your thoughts?”
She faced forward, gripping the steering wheel tightly. “I was just wondering if you still work? I mean you’ve been back home almost three months. And you’ve never mentioned a job.”
She glanced at him again, trying to gauge his reaction. A look of bitterness stole across his face. Oh, no, I shouldn’t have asked. Way to stick your foot in it, Jo. The acid in her stomach rose, making her wish for a trashcan. She’d give anything to go back in time, where the conversation had been light-hearted.
“I was let go.” The hollow sound of his voice tugged at her heart.
“What happened?”
“My recovery process was slated to take a long time. They didn’t want to hold my job while I tried to get back to a new normal. They needed it filled immediately.”
“But can they do that? Isn’t it illegal to discriminate?”
“It is, but there are ways to work around it. They had a legitimate complaint considering I was in the hospital for a month.” Evan glanced out the window.
She wanted so badly to run her hand down his arm to offer comfort. But did friends do that?
He heaved a sigh. “It doesn’t matter anyway,” he continued on. “It would be pretty odd to have a basketball coach with a prosthetic leg.”
“You coached?”
“Yeah, high school.”
“Well, maybe you can find a job here. You know us Freedomers love basketball.”
He laughed but the sound rang false. She could tell he was hurting and it was all her fault. Why did she always say the wrong things at the wrong times? Knowing nothing else would help, she changed the subject to his mother’s cooking. It took a while, but slowly his tone lightened up.
When she dropped him off at the B&B, she couldn’t help but think that it wouldn’t be long before he weaseled himself out of the business-but-friendly compartment and into something more dangerous.
EVAN WAITED AND TAPPED his fingers against his chair rail. Today, he would be getting fitted for a prosthetic. He was finally ready to regain his independence. Lord, thank You for pulling me out of my funk and depression. He ran a hand down his face and let out a huge sigh. So much time had been wasted because of his desire to harbor anger and bitterness. Maybe if he had immediately chosen a prosthetic he’d have kept his job back in Chicago.
“Mr. Carter?”
His head shot up as a blonde nurse stepped into the waiting room. “Right here,” he said raising his hand. He slipped his hands over the wheels and followed her.
“How are you today?” She asked, looking over her shoulder.
“Nervous.”
She smiled showing a slight overbite. “That’s understandable.” She gestured to a room and he wheeled in. A woman sat behind a desk and pulled out a stack of papers from a file cabinet.
“Hi, I’m Julie,” she said. Her blue eyes stared steadily into his. “I would like to go over the process before we get started.”
Straight to the point. Evan couldn’t decide if he liked her manner or not, so he simply nodded.
“Since you’re an above-the-knee amputee, there will be four parts to your prosthetic. A socket, knee system, shank, and the foot-ankle system. The first step is creating a mold that will be used to create the socket of your prosthetic.”
She pointed to the pamphlet. “I’ll make one by using wet plaster. Once the socket is created, we have some adjustable legs we can use to figure out the appropriate amount of suction necessary for the socket. I’ll also give you plenty of information on the best knee system, shanks, and feet that all have a different purpose. Don’t think that you’ll only have one prosthetic or parts. Some people use different feet if they want to run, or to go with different shoes.”
He raised his eyebrows. Why hadn’t he read up on this before coming in? Because you were overly anxious.
Evan set his jaw. He needed to stop depending on everyone else for information. There was nothing worse than being ignorant, but that’s exactly what his anger and bitterness had allowed him to become. He had hidden behind the shame of missing a leg instead of educating himself.
I won’t make that mistake again.
Julie discussed the process at length and he soaked in all the information. “Are you ready to get started?”
He nodded.
“Great. I have a plaster room we’re going to go to. It has some parallel bars to hold onto while you’re standing, so I can ensure I get the perfect mold.”
As she applied the wet plaster to his leg, Evan imagined what his family’s reaction would be. His mom would probably cry. She tried not to show how the accident affected her, but she couldn’t hide it from him. Her smiles had been less frequent, and her hovering had increased. Every time he had declined her request to go to church, her eyes dimmed.
Last Sunday, tears had filled her eyes when she saw him in church. If he could stand up on two feet—well, one real and one artificial—she’d probably turn into a blubbering mess of a mom. He smiled at the thought.
“Okay, Mr. Carter, just stand here for fifteen minutes until it sets. Do you want me to put the game on?”
“Yes, thanks.”
She turned the TV on to ESPN and sat in a chair with her paperwork.
The Pacers were playing the Grizzlies in a preseason game. Man, how he missed the game. The adrenaline of molding high school teenagers to become better athletes gave him a sense of purpose. Now, he spent his days reading biographies of the great African-American men of the past. Not that they weren’t interesting reads, but he felt like he was just taking up space.
He watched as the Pacers hustled down the court and called ‘foul’ a few seconds before the referee did. I still got it. Jo’s voice filled his senses as he recalled her suggestion of contacting Freedom Lake High. Would they really want him to fill the position? Could he teach basketball?
Isn’t that what the prosthetic is for?
Maybe, just maybe, all his dreams weren’t lost to him.
Chapter Fifteen
Even though Jo had a grocery list, she couldn’t help but peruse every aisle to see what the store had to offer. If she just stuck to her list, she’d be done in twenty minutes tops. But Jo loved food too much to not give it the time it deserved. The teriyaki salmon on display in the seafood department called out to her. She stepped closer.
“Decisions, decisions, huh?” a voice from behind her said.
Her insides stilled. What was Evan doing here? Oh how she wanted to ignore him. Their little excursion to pick out the features for the kitchen had shown her how comfortable she could be around
him. But that was dangerous. She didn’t want to fall for him. Just be friendly.
Business but friendly was her new motto. It had to be. She needed to guard her heart, because the last time they were friends, he had crushed her like an ant. She turned and pasted a smile on her face. “Don’t tell me you’ve never debated over a purchase before.” She clamped her mouth shut. That had come out with more bite than she’d intended.
“Of course I have, especially when it comes to seafood.” He wheeled closer. “Mmm, that salmon looks good but so does the shrimp.”
It figured they had the same taste. She had been standing there for five minutes trying to decide between the salmon and shrimp. She sighed. When they were friends in junior high, they had shared many common interests. Guess not everything changes. But he didn’t have to know that.
“I was looking at the salmon and chicken wrapped in bacon.” Liar.
“Can’t go wrong with bacon.”
Normally she’d agree but the salmon was calling her name. Did she dare get it and risk him seeing it as common ground.
She turned and faced him, trying to ignore the way his eyes held hers. “What are you here for?”
His eyes wandered to the left then back to hers. “I took the community shuttle to the city earlier and missed lunch because of my appointment. I thought I’d eat at the café, but I saw you, so...” He shrugged.
It sounded off to her, but she didn’t want to call him out. Wasn’t she keeping her own secrets? Her heart ached for him. Every time she saw him, the need to ask what happened pressed upon her. But she kept mute. She knew how frustrating it could be to have people constantly offer condolences. They meant well, but it often drudged the hurt and loneliness up to the top.
An image of her father swam in her mind.
Maybe Evan would want to eat with her. Whoa, Jo, stop that thought right there. You cannot invite him over for dinner. Besides, if her mother was at home, she’d ignore the art of subtlety and run him over like a bull. “Anything interesting catch your eye?”