“I do, ask him to come. I need to see him.”
He sighs, looking at Ruk for answers, a few moments later he says,
“Ok but we will stay here with you all of us.”
I nod my head in agreement.
No more than three minutes later growling and howling deafen me. I swallow the lump in my thought and brace myself to see the man who killed my heart. The tears fall and they won’t stop, I’m not sure they ever will. I stand on shaky legs waiting for Sallack to enter the room, I drop to the floor at the sight of him. Unbearable pain in my heart takes over my body.
“Please Sallack, it hurts, what did I do to you, for you to hurt me so bad?” Sallack’s tears slip down his handsome chiseled face. He’s crying for our lost love. The man who has never shed a tear in his life! He sits on the floor with me, all the pack brothers’ are scattered in the room looking upon us. My head fall’s into his lap as I grab his jeans trying to pull him closer to me, but I can’t be so close to him, it makes the heartache worse, I just want him to love me, like I love him.
“Beautiful, I’m sorry for what I did, let me love you Zara?”
Every man in the room growls so loudly at his words, I feel the room shake. I do need him to love me, but I would never be able to trust him again if I gave myself to him.
I feel myself slipping away as I did before, my heartbeat slows dangerously as darkness takes me to what feels like a visit to hell.
I come back around in Ruk’s arms, his head in the crook of my neck. When he holds me I can breathe again, the warmth of this breath on my sensitive skin calms me. I feel like I have just returned from death, maybe I have! I take a few shaky breaths and turn in Ruk’s arms, holding his arms tightly against me to face Sallack whom is growling ferociously. I wait for what seems like half an hour to speak, my chest giving in, doubling over in pain. Ruk supports my weight in his solid arms.
“Let me speak then you have to go. Ok”
“Beautiful?”
“Don’t!” I tell him sorrowfully. He looks so beaten I want to wrap my arms around him but it’s impossible, he did this to us!
“I love you Sallack, I wanted everything with you. You were meant to be my mine to love. You broke me Sallack! I thought it impossible but you did. I gave you everything I had” I catch my breath readying myself to finish what I need to say. With every word I speak, my heart breaks a little more. “I don’t want to be the broken hearted girl Sallack. Don’t cry for us, this was your doing! I was yours forever. You’re the one who did not want me! I would die for you! I want to die because of you! It’s not fair,” I take a deep breath and wipe the flowing tears as I ask,
“Why would you let me love you knowing that I was not good enough to be with you?”
“No Zara, that is not true, you’re too good for me. I fucked up so bad beautiful please don’t leave me.”
“How can you ask that of me Sallack? I have already given you everything. You have lied to me all this time and kept her your dirty little secret.” I cry.
“It was just the one time I would do anything to take it back I swear.”
“Stop. One time is enough. Do you love her?”
“No I love you!”
“I love you Sallack at the same time I love Parrise but I didn’t act on it. There is no excuse for what you did.”
“You need to get the fuck out, NOW!” Den shouts at him angrily.
“Don’t even bother Den I will…”
“Sallack please go!” I tell his through my tears.
With that, he walks straight up to me and kisses my forehead, I lean into the kiss desperately wanting everything that has happened to be untrue. He leaves the house, my life, never my heart.
“Don’t leave me like this, I’m so lonely without you,” I whisper to him as he walks away. He turns to look back at me, the sun shining on the side of his handsome face. He rips the shirt of his body shifting into his Wolf as I watch him run away from my love.
I have to find Dallah somehow; I can feel her in my broken heart with grief of her own. Why won’t she let me visit her dreams again? I want her to be the one to tell me I’ll be fine, because if she believes it then maybe I could. She needs me as much as I need her I know she does, she just won’t admit it. Why have I only just found out now that I can dream walk, and with Dallah refusing me, what is the point of having the gift!
Tonight, Angus turns up alone telling me ‘Parrise is dealing with an issue’, I simply nod my head and carry on staring at the turned off television.
“It will get easier in time Zara, we all love and care for you. Are you sure you don’t want me to kill him?”
“I’m sure.” I whisper to him.
“Speak to me sweet, let me be here for you?” Dom walk’s in and pats Angus on the shoulder, When did this happen? He sits beside me stoking my hair like I’m a lost child. Angus is kneeling in front of me on the couch watching me, waiting for me to talk to him.
“Ok you want me to let you in, then I will. But it’s dark and lonely?”
“Tell us Zara it will help. Don’t bottle it up, sweet.” I sigh, looking down at my hands while I speak.
“I miss lying in bed with him, his whispering loving words to me. Holding me against his perfect body.” I wipe my tears and carry on, “Im haunted when I close my eyes all I see is him! My tears won’t dry. Why won’t they stop?” I look at them in the eye, “I feel like I’m dying and I want to, I want this feeling to end, the memories, the nightmare of replaying the night it happened. Why couldn’t he love me like I needed him to? Why Her? I love him more then she can or will. Why is it always other woman never me. Am I cursed?”
Angus looks down at my hands, squeezing them gently. I can feel how heartbreaking this is for him to see me in this way as I do all the brothers’, but Parrise he just wants to kill everyone! Dom strokes my cheek with the back of his fingers.
“He loves you Zara. He made a huge mistake, but he loves you gorgeous. He doesn’t know why he did it, maybe he was scared?” Dom tells me, but I shake my head ‘no’ not believing his words.
Den shouts for Dom to come to him in the kitchen, before he leaves he kisses my forehead. Angus takes the seat next to me, lifting me into his lap with a sigh.
“Zara, you’re not cursed, he is now for losing the best thing life had to offer him.”
“That’s just it, I don’t want to have to go through this until I find my chosen, how can I?”
“Not all men are like that dog! Don’t judge us all on him.”
“I know. can you come in the kitchen with me?” I ask him.
We get up and go into the kitchen where Den sits with Ruk, Mickey, Julian and Dom. They all watch us enter, as they silence their hushed words. I sit on the free chair, looking at all of them in turn.
“I love you guys for being here for me, but you shouldn’t be here, sad.”
“We won’t leave you, we can’t, we need to be with you Zara, you need to understand how much we love you.” Mickey tells me.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. I love you all so much, I pray to God you never have to feel sadness of any kind, but here you are, sad. I’m sorry this is hurting you all.”
Before they can answer, I get up and walk out the front door and straight down to the walking trail. I’m going to try and walk of the pain.
“Zara?”
“I need to be alone Ruk” I don’t even bother turning around, I can’t look at the dejection in his eyes, I just need to be alone.
Chapter 25
After walking for hours I sit on large rock close to the house.
“Dallah. I need you so badly. Let me be with you, take me away from this” I whisper. She doesn’t come to take me away, I’m stuck in a living hell.
“Please, I can’t take it anymore!” I scream into the wind, with all my emotions behind it. A man’s feet appear in front of my eyes, I’m not scared. I don’t care who it is or why they are here! He crouches down and lifts my chin to look in his eyes. He h
as the most glorious deep blazing purple colored eyes. He smiles at me, but I can’t return it.
“Do you want to come with me pretty girl?” He asks me tenderly.
“Why?” I ask in a sigh as my eyebrows pull together.
“I’m a friend; I will help with your pain if you come with me. You can trust me, I mean you no harm?”
I take his offered hand, not caring what danger I could be putting myself in, all I care about is his offer to help me in some way.
Standing with this man, who wears a smart shirt and trousers, he gently squeeze’s my hand and gives me a reassuring smile. looking around, we are now in a huge empty ball room! How the hell!
“Why are we here?” I say in a depressing voice, not recognizing it as my own. He pulls me by the hand to his enormous chest hugging me tightly. Why is he being nice to me?
“Pretty girl, I’m here to help you.” He stokes my hair lovingly.
“How? Can you take the heartache away? Can you bring back Dallah?”
“I have been watching you since the day I heard the cry of the broken.”
He pulls back to see my face and wipes his thumbs under my eyes.
“I will help with the pain. I know about the Charmer‘s gifts and weaknesses.”
“Are you a Warlock?”
“Partly, I am also part Vampire, part Lycan.”
“Lycan?”
“I can shift into the beast of a Wolf.”
“Wow.”
“Yes it is very useful. Only those I trust know of my being, I need it kept this way. There is not anyone like me, just as there is no one like you. I want you to sit with me Zara?”
I nod and sit beside him on a large antique couch. He moves closer to me as he runs his hand through his blond hair with a smile.
“There are the things I know about you Zara. Obviously you are stunningly beautiful, smart, strong and loving to everyone worthy. I can see your pain, it is intense. Little Zara, you have to trust me when I say, he was not the one, I know it feels like it. I’m sorry you fell for his betrayal, take caution in who you give you’re everything to child,”
He says searching my eyes, watching the emotion play on my face.
“He’s not?” I say taken back.
“The love you feel for him is strong, you’re in pain because you gave him your heart, but it does not belong to him in that way.”
“How could I love anyone more than I do Sallack?”
“You will, I see you together, you set each other’s heart’s free. The love will be poetic.”
How can I think of being with anyone else after this, I will never love a man again like I did Sallack. I will never give a man my body and soul.
“Listen child, the Wolves and Vampires are ready for battle, they think you were taken by the Dark Prince. I will see you again. I know it’s hard child but remember he is not your chosen.”
“You know who my chosen is?”
“I cannot get in the way of destiny. I’m sorry you have hurt so badly. Stay with the Wolves, and the two Vampires, they will take away the pain and give you strength; they are your family now. You are much stronger then you think child. Look inside; what you need will be there.”
“Why are you helping me?”
“Im sorry child, you have to go now. Forgive Sallack and look out for that sister of yours, she needs you.” He tells me in a stern voice, but still smiling beautifully at me.
“Please, tell me where she is?” I ask desperately while holding onto him for dear life, needing him to tell me where Dallah is before he takes me back.
“ZARA!”
Shouts and howling pierce my ear drums. I’m lifted of my feet into Den’s big warm arms. I’m back! I don’t want to be, I want him to tell me where Dallah is. Why does he even care? Why would he trust me to know his truth?
The brothers’ keep asking me where I went, but I won’t tell them what happened or who took me. I convince them that I am fine, and promise them know one tried, or wanted to hurt me. Parrise is now here, he asks me to go to his home with him and Angus. However, I want to stay here. I want to be in my own home.
Parrise spends the night in my bed holding me, as he has for so many nights now. I wonder if I had stayed with Parrise, would I be in this pain, could he ever love me wholly.
“Love, it would never happen. I do love you, with everything I have. I will never hurt you, I promise Zara. I want to take your pain away.”
“Please stop looking in my head Parrise?” I say with my voice laced in gloom.
“I need know your safe, who took you little one, show me.” He pleads with me for the hundredth time tonight. I don’t know how he is seeing all my thought and feeling, but not of the kind stranger.
“Parrise. Please trust me on this.”
“For now love.”
3 weeks later
I’m sitting with Ruk wondering if he could be my chosen. Just as I have looked questionably into all the brothers’ beautiful eyes. I know that they are all Warriors, because I love them all. Noticing me looking at him deeply he asks,
“Why are you looking at me like that beautiful?”
“Ah sorry. Just um well. I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
“Ok, you wanna go for a walk?”
“Yeah if you have nothing better to do.”
To get the brothers' to go back to their homes and jobs I had to remove them, physically! I love them being here, but they are all so sorry for me, it hurt more knowing this is affecting them. I find myself giving fake smiles and I pretend that I am coping with it all, I’m not sure if I am convincing them because I’m sure as hell not convincing myself.
They all come back on breaks and lunches, they are so happy to see me; it lifts my spirits a little. Abbey comes over every other day, she cuddles me and tells me it will get better. I don’t believe her, but I love her for trying to help me, and for caring about me the way she does.
Ruk hasn’t left; he stays every night, and then every morning I wake in his strong arms, because he sneaks in after Parrise leaves. He said if I didn’t allow him he would kill Angus and Parrise! I know he wouldn’t, as they are sort of friends now, minus the little digs on each other. I feel Ruk needs me, just as I need him; we ease each other’s pain.
“Come on then let’s go?” He passes me my light cardigan as I smile my thanks to him.
“Yeah I’m coming.”
We walk for a good hour through the woods hand in hand. Talking about silly things, to take my mind of Sallack and Dallah. The brothers’ ask me on a daily basis, ‘Where is she? Why isn’t she here’, I wish I could tell them, tell them everything, it’s so hard trying to convince them she is ok. I do not know if she is ok. I have tried every single night to visit her in her dreams, but it’s as if a barrier keeping me from her. Even though I promised her I wouldn’t, it’s just impossible for me not to want to be with her.
“Stand behind me!” Ruk sneers. Before I can ask why, Richard is walking towards us clapping his hands! He is wearing a black suit that brings out his black eyes. He looks pure evil as he comes towards us with a sneer on his once handsome face.
I hold onto Ruk’s hand tightly to hold him back from reacting to Richard’s closeness.
“Well it’s taken time to get you alone Zara.” Richard says amused. The prick.
“She is not alone. I will rip you apart if you harm her in any way!”
“No need for threats. You can come to I suppose. Are you ready?”
Before we can protest we are plunged into a dimly lit bedroom with black drapes, small candle lights from the edges, in the darkest spot of a room sit’s a humungous four post bed.
“Dallah,” Ruk and I say in harmony as she jumps off the bed, looking as bad as I feel.
“You said you wouldn’t do this?” She screams at the top of her lungs, Ruk and I look around the room to see if Richard is still there, he is not!
“Dallah what’s going on?” I ask her.
She wraps herself around our nec
ks, and then takes my face in her hands.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you sweetie, you know he wasn’t the right one? He couldn’t be to have hurt you so severely?”
“Dallah why are you here. I thought you were hiding from him, not moving in! Is this why you won’t let me come to you?” I ignore her question, with ones of my own.
“Ok stop! Tell me what’s going on now! short version?” Ruk demands, looking ready to fight anyone that steps in the room.
“I am to be bonded to Richard, the Warlock that bought you here. I chose to be with him so he wouldn’t go after the ones I care for,” Dallah tells him. Why would she do this? She could beat him!
“Bullshit! We’re going home.” He take’s both our hands and nods to Dallah telling her we’re ready to leave. If it wasn’t so serious, I would have probably laughed at him.
“I can’t, he will come after you. I won’t go, you don’t understand his power.”
What is she talking about? She is the strongest Witch alive!
“No. but we know yours! You’re stronger, I know you are!” I declare.
“Sweetie, I can’t he will get his people to do come after you all in revenge.”
“Richard come get me I want to talk…” I start to shout, as Dallah slams her hand over my mouth. Looking panicked. Why is she so scared?
“Zara, I can see you have a death wish. You promised you would trust me. Ruk trust me?” She gives him a pleading look wishing him to have faith in her. This is so frustrating.
“Why did he bring us here Dallah?” Ruk asks, trying to get his head around what’s been going on.
“He wanted you to see his control and the power that he has, he is dark. I’ll take you back. Do not tell anyone? Swear to me?”
“No fucking way,” Ruk says getting angry.
“Dallah, you need us as much as we need you, don’t do this please!” I beg her with tears springing to my eyes.
“I can’t fight them all, neither can you.” She says regrettably.
“Well it’s worth a try! You’re deluded if you think I won’t fight for you.”
Charming The Warriors (The Charmer) Page 26