“I’m sorry.”
Danny raised a hand to cup his lover’s cheek. He stroked his thumb back and forth, attempting to soothe the tense muscles of a clenched jaw. “Hey. No apologies. I wanted and encouraged everything we did last night. A little soreness doesn’t make me regret any of it.” Jordan took his hand away to kiss his palm but didn’t otherwise acknowledge what he said.
“The food should be here soon. Gonna head downstairs and wait for the delivery guy. Will you be okay?”
“I’m fine. I promise.”
Jordan left, and Danny lay back in the steaming water, idly making small waves with his hand. Last night had been an experience like he never could have imagined. He would have to ask what had set Jordan off that he’d come home that way.
Although emotions had run high between them, he hadn’t said I love you again and Jordan hadn’t mentioned anything about love either. But with the memory of Jordan’s hand possessively wrapped around his throat while growling mine in his ear, he couldn’t help but assume that Jordan had fallen for him.
Danny began soaping himself up. It was understandable that he hadn’t had a chance to bring it up with Jordan yet. Everything had been so out of control the past few days with the account hacking, and Lattimer’s attack, and then taking time to heal from the assault. But after last night, he wanted to know where they stood.
Danny finished washing, then rose from the tub, hot water streaming down his body. When he climbed out and bent over to release the stopper, he noticed that he was noticeably less stiff than when he’d first stepped into the tub. The hot soak had helped. After drying off and dressing in shorts and a t-shirt, he made his way to the kitchen. Jordan was there, dishing the delivered food onto plates.
“How was your bath?”
“I feel so much better. Thank you,” he said as he tugged Jordan down to give him a peck on the lips. They sat down to eat and Danny covered his toasted bagel in waves of cream cheese.
After a few bites, he started the conversation. Keeping his tone light, he eased into the topic on his mind. “What set you off like that last night? Not that I’m complaining,” he teased. “Just curious.”
Jordan answered without looking at him. “During my patrol, someone said some things.”
“Like what?” Danny prompted.
“Things that made me worry about you.”
That gave Danny pause. “You were that concerned over me?”
“After what I almost let happen to you? Yeah.”
Danny blinked. “Let happen? Jordan, that wasn’t your fault.”
“I knew Lattimer had your address and I still left you alone in the house at night.”
At the muscle clenching in Jordan’s jaw and the heavy note of guilt in his voice, Danny wanted to abandon his breakfast and go cuddle in Jordan’s lap to reassure him. But he had more questions that needed answering.
“Why didn’t you want me to touch you? You’ve already shown me that you can control your powers during sex.”
“Not like that, when they were so close to the surface. And I didn’t want to scare you.”
He’d never given Jordan cause to think he was scared of him or his powers. In fact, he’d asked to experience them more than once. That belief had to have its roots in Jordan’s history before they’d ever met. He remembered the morning he’d asked if any of his previous lovers had known he was Blaze, and how the conversation had ended after a one-word answer. It was clearly time to dig deeper on that subject.
“I can’t imagine why an intimate partner would be afraid of you and your powers. You’re always so careful.”
“Everyone has their own reasons for how they feel.” He nodded at Danny’s half-full glass. “Do you want more orange juice?”
“You know, you always say I can ask you anything.”
“You can.”
“Then why do you shift the topic whenever I bring up previous relationships?”
Jordan’s fingers tightened on his water glass before he responded. “What do you want to know?”
“Before me, how many relationships did you have after you gained your powers and became Blaze?”
“Technically two. But I also had a sexual D/s arrangement before those relationships.”
Now they were getting somewhere. “Why did the sexual arrangement end?”
“Back then I wore a mask and used a scene name. My partner was cool with that, but he got scared and called me a freak when he realized I wasn’t using a wand for our electric play. That was my fault. I should have either been honest or not used my powers on him. He didn’t answer my calls after that. Even went so far as to warn people not to scene with me.”
“Oh.” Danny understood how that could cause problems with trust. He couldn’t guess as to how he would have reacted in that situation so he didn’t try. Instead, he picked up his fork to spear a piece of fruit and plowed on. “Why did your first relationship end?”
“I’d learned my lesson by that point. When we got serious, I came clean and admitted I was Blaze. He was disgusted that I used violence to help people and said it was only a matter of time before I turned my rage on him and became an abuser.”
Jordan sounded hurt, as if even after all this time it bothered him that someone he’d been involved with thought he might cause them harm.
“And the other?” Danny had to force the question out. He wanted to drop this but he knew if he didn’t understand his boyfriend’s romantic history, they’d never be able to move forward in their relationship.
“He... didn’t mind that I was Blaze. He thought it was interesting and exciting. Too exciting.” Jordan stared out the kitchen window, but it was clear he was seeing something other than blue skies and puffy white clouds. “So exciting that he wanted to come out and observe. I allowed it for a few nights. That’s how he met my enemy. After that, it wasn’t long before he decided he’d rather get in bed with the bad guy. Literally.”
Danny dropped his fork. He looked down at in surprise; he’d forgotten he was holding the thing.
“Oh, Jordan. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. What’s in the past is past, right?”
“Sometimes the past can affect the present. I don’t want that to happen to us.”
“It’ll work itself out.”
Danny didn’t believe that. A solid foundation for a relationship didn’t just happen, it had to be built. But he didn’t want to press too hard too fast. He had the information, even if it had been somewhat clumsily obtained. The next step would be to figure out how to put those clearly painful memories to rest once and for all. But they didn’t have to do it all in one day.
Danny got up and went around to the other side of the island. Scootching in between Jordan and the countertop, he braced his hands on his boyfriend’s thick biceps and leaned up to kiss his cheek.
“Thank you for sharing that with me. I wasn’t asking out of morbid curiosity, but because I want to know more about you. I trust that you would never hurt me as your regular self, or with your powers.”
Jordan didn’t reply to that. Only nodded so slightly Danny almost missed it.
“And just so you know, if I ever see any of those guys, I’m going to draw extremely unflattering caricatures of their stupid faces.”
Jordan’s lips twitched.
“I’m serious. Sprouty nose hairs and weak chins and trash hairlines.”
Now Jordan laughed his quiet laugh and eased his arms around Danny in a loose embrace.
“You’re vicious,” he teased.
“That’s right. When it comes to the people I care about, the villains in this city have nothing on me.”
***
After Jordan reluctantly brought Danny back to his house, he’d gone to the store and bought St. Louis gooey butter cake to take to the cookout. Now, it was the afternoon of the party, and Danny was in his kitchen preparing an assembly line of supplies. He wanted to put an artistic spin on the dessert’s presentation. He planned to divide the cake
up into individual servings, and had purchased white treat bags decorated with red, blue and gold stars.
Before he could get started, the doorbell rang. Danny ran to answer it. He pulled the door open to Jordan waiting on the front porch. He’d swapped the work shirt that Danny had quickly grown used to seeing him in for a tight, black short-sleeve button down with pockets over his pecs, and gray jeans. His beard was freshly trimmed, and his hair oiled and brushed until it looked as soft as mink.
“You look great.”
“So do you,” Jordan said as he came into the house.
Danny looked down at his American flag muscle shirt and neatly pressed khaki shorts. “Is this okay? Should I have dressed up more?”
“No. It’s a block party. Casual is good.”
“But not too casual right? You said your parents will be there.”
“Yes. And they’ll be dressed casually too. You look fine, I promise.”
“Okay,” Danny nodded with relief. “Come and help me put everything together.” He led the way into the kitchen and over to the table of cakes and treat bags.
“What’s all this?”
“I didn’t want to go the usual route and bring beer. And no way I’m having the aunties laugh at my attempts at making potato salad. So, dessert,” he finished with a wave at the containers of gooey butter cake. “We’re going to cut ‘em up into squares and put them in these bags.” He held one up for Jordan to see.
“Nice bags.”
“And they’re biodegradable.”
A small grin touched Jordan’s full lips. “You are too cute.”
Danny’s cheeks warmed with a blush. “Am I doing too much?”
“No, I like seeing that you care. And you’ll definitely make a good impression on the ladies running the food line.”
Danny blew out a relieved breath. “Good. Let’s get started.” He passed Jordan a pair of plastic serving gloves and pulled on a pair himself. “Do you want to cut cakes or put them in the bags?”
“You cut since you know what size you want.”
“Got it.” Danny picked up the knife and they got to work. They chatted about the nice weather they were lucky enough to have for the party and how the event had gone in the past. The knife easily sliced through the moist cake for Danny to separate each piece. Jordan quickly developed a rhythm of snapping open a bag to receive a treat and folding the top to close it inside. Once they settled into their pattern, it didn’t take long to work their way through the stack of cakes. They were nearly finished when Danny noticed Jordan attempting to sneak one of the last pieces for himself.
“Hey!” He lightly smacked his knuckles. “I don’t think so mister. You can have one once we get to the party.”
In retaliation, Jordan picked him up and plopped him on the counter.
“That’s one of the things I like about you.”
“What?”
“You don’t take any shit.”
Danny laughed. “Nope.”
“And you’re not even a little scared of me.”
“I told you I’m not.” They were teasing, but he meant it. If learning of Jordan’s history had given him any reason to be scared of abuse, he would have hightailed it out of his apartment and never looked back.
“Mmmm...” Jordan tugged off his plastic gloves and tossed them to the side. “Can you at least pretend that I’m in charge?” he said as he slipped a hand beneath Danny’s shirt.
Danny shook his head. “You’re not the boss of me.” He gasped as warm fingers teased and plucked his nipple. “Except when I let you.”
“I love that you know that.”
“What?”
“That you’re in control of your submission. It’s a gift to me.”
Jordan hadn’t mentioned collaring him again after their electric night together. Danny had wanted to bring it up several times but wasn’t sure how to go about it. But since they were on the subject...
“Are we going to talk about what you said the other night? About claiming me? Did you mean it or was it only heat of the moment pillow talk?”
A wicked grin curled Jordan’s full lips. “We weren’t exactly on pillows.”
“I’m serious, Jordan,” he said as he pulled off his plastic gloves.
“Danny...” Jordan brought his hands from beneath Danny’s shirt to rest on his khaki covered thighs. “Collaring is long term.”
“I thought...” He trailed off for a moment, a confused frown crinkling his forehead. “Are we not doing this long term?”
Jordan looked at him as if he were searching for something in his eyes, on his face. He remembered that look from the night he’d told Jordan he still wanted to be with him after learning his secret identity.
“Is that something you really want?”
“Yes. It wasn’t just pillow talk for me.”
“It wasn’t for me either.”
“And you know how I feel.” Danny looked down, shyness coming over him. Saying I love you out loud in a brightly lit kitchen was a lot different than saying it when he was mindless with passion. Apparently, he wasn’t brave enough to go there just yet.
“I know. Then I guess we need to have that conversation about what each of us expects from a committed Dom/sub relationship.”
Danny smiled, happy and relieved to have that settled. He couldn’t wait to be claimed, really claimed, by Jordan. “Then I guess you can have a piece of cake.” He reached for a piece of the dessert and held it up to Jordan. But Jordan grasped his hand and tilted the cake to his mouth, letting him have the first bite.
They shared the small square between them. It was sweet and rich on his tongue, the crumbly topping melting away into sugary goodness. When it was gone, Jordan held Danny’s hand up to his mouth and licked his fingers. He sucked on one, the pull on the sensitive pad tingling all the way down to Danny’s cock. Danny couldn’t help but moan.
“Mmmm...”
Jordan released Danny’s finger from his mouth with a soft little pop. Then he leaned in until their lips were so close, a deep breath would be all it took for them to touch. They held there, letting the anticipation shiver over their skin. But before they could kiss, shuffling footsteps approached. The footsteps paused just inside the kitchen.
“Oops. I interrupted.”
Danny cleared his throat and leaned around Jordan’s bulk to look at his roommate. He wore a Ninja Turtles printed robe messily tied over boxers and a tank. And his hair stood straight up on the right side of his head. “You’re fine. Come in and meet Jordan.”
Jordan wiped his hand on a towel before he held it out to Scott. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” Scott said as he accepted the handshake. “Danny talks about you all the time. I think he has a crush on you.”
That got a smile out of Jordan. “I certainly hope so.”
“Is there coffee?”
Danny laughed at his sleepy-faced friend. “It’s two o’clock. Coffee is long gone.”
Scott moved around, starting a fresh pot. “Is all that for the block party?” he asked with a nod toward the box of little cakes.
“Yep. I wish you could come.”
“Me too. But I have to work the evil day job so I can have off for the Fourth.”
Danny took one of the bags from the box. “Here, have a piece of gooey butter cake to go with your coffee.”
Scott lit up with a happy smile and accepted the treat bag. “Thanks!”
“You’re welcome.”
“This is going to hit the spot. I’ll see you guys later.” He left the room with his mug and cake in hand.
Danny looked at Jordan once his roommate was gone. “We should probably get going.”
“You’re right.” He helped Danny hop down from the counter. “Let’s go.”
***
They pulled up to the street that had been blocked off for the block party. A park was at the other end of the street, giving the festivities room to spread out. Danny hopped out of the car, look
ing around at everything while Jordan leaned into the backseat for the box of dessert cakes. Danny turned back to him, excitement on his face.
“Let’s go!”
Jordan flicked a glance at the crowd then back at Danny. “I don’t usually show up to the cookout this early.”
“Really?” Danny tilted his head in question. “What do you normally do?”
“I stay at home, show up right before things start to wind down, say a few words to thank everyone for coming and take a plate back home.”
Danny stepped off the curb and walked around to meet him on the driver’s side. “But you’re sponsoring the whole thing. This is your community, Jordan. Your neighborhood. You should be out there celebrating with them.”
Jordan didn’t have an answer for that. Or, he didn’t have an answer that wouldn’t rip open and expose old wounds under the bright sun of a summer’s day.
“There’s a reason that you avoid hanging out at the party, isn’t there?” Danny asked with a concerned frown on his brow.
“Yes.”
“I’d love if you told me about it. But I think for right now, we’re already here so let’s try to enjoy ourselves. If you feel weird and want to leave, squeeze my butt and I’ll know it’s time to go.”
A smile tugged at Jordan’s mouth. “A butt squeeze is your choice to signal that it’s time to go? What if I decide to squeeze it just for the hell of it?”
Danny put on a scandalized expression. “There are children here! And your mom! If you squeeze my butt it’d better be for a good reason. Now come on. I can smell the barbecue from here and I’m dying for a pork steak.” He held out his hand, waiting.
Jordan thought of all the times he’d held out his hand for Danny to take. Danny had never once rejected him. Now it was his turn. He switched the box to one arm so he could take Danny’s hand. When he laced their fingers together, that smile that he loved took over his angel’s face.
Blaze Page 23