“Oh, hell, no,” Vekta returned, careful to keep from revealing anything on his face. “We don’t have time! Vriesia’s equatorial continent is unoccupied and the environment is identical to this one. In the face of this need, how can they be turned away?”
“I hope you’re right.”
Vekta bowed again to the Xandee, and Stander did as well. “Please allow me to repay my debt to you,” Vekta murmured. “I wish to work with you toward relocating your people to our federation.”
As Zanil's signings stilled, Vekta looked around the hall. No one was signing; all were, he detected, staring frankly at him out of a mixture of wonder, relief, and apprehension. After all, no one had ever contemplated complete and permanent removal from Xandee society. Nearly everyone in the hall knew people in the capital and other cities.
Yur Hazeg-el signed her response while Zanil translated: “Commander Rentclifv, you freely name yourself as Debt-Payer, the Ut-nex. You may not realize this, but in our society, one who comes forward to repay their debt without being called to do so has a special regard... even more so in your case because you cannot know our ways. We are bound to respond to your effort in some way. Yet we also must consider what is right for our people.”
Vekta had already read this in their minds, the high value of repayment. They couldn't dismiss him outright, and had a responsibility to allow him to try to fulfill his debt. They had to take his suggestion very seriously. The teleXandee haven't thought of removal from this planet because they didn't know there could be that option, he mused, then replied to the community leader. “As I explained before, we are telepaths. I have been able to read Gon-druxa-el and his associates. I have also read the sentiments of the people in the capital and elsewhere. The presence of the 'teleXandee' is a severe concern and fear. In fact, public sentiment has driven Druxa-el into action. Now that the populace has been stirred up to this extent, he won't leave you alone.”
The assembly was mostly aloft again, agitated and dismayed by this news. Though they had people in the capital to watch how things were there, in fact those spies had not been heard from for a while.
Dr. Qoran-el consulted with Hazeg-el and Beva-el hastily, then was gesturing for calm again before addressing the Humans. “Friends from Alpha, we will heed your words and make a decision as soon as we can. Please accompany Qindo back.”
Vekta interrupted, smiling. “No need for you to host us any longer. I do not wish to fall deeper into your debt. We'll be aboard our starcraft. You can contact us there. I will adjust for any incompatibilities between our communications protocols.” He bowed and gestured to Stander.
18: merge5
Aboard the Elektra, Vekta ordered the autochef to provide them with glasses of freiascha as Stander and the twins joined him in the starcraft's little lounge. “I can feel your questions,” he said wryly, as they sat one of the tables. When the autochef port at the table beeped, he set glasses of the pale, pink-orange juice in front of each of them.
Cory ignored the juice as the others sipped. “How did you get to Xost Universe?” she asked bluntly, staring at her father. “Are you going to answer questions now, Bapa?”
Vekta took a deep breath. “Only if I have your assurance to tell no one,” he murmured.
“Who is there to tell? The Xandee?” Story muttered. “Really, we were wondering if we were going to have to start calling Stander 'Bapa' and when he would start classes with us to continue our schooling.”
“Since we're stuck here forever. Or are we?” Cory added, pouting.
Stander only blinked at the twins' insolence. “It's understandable... but I want to know just as much,” he menttransed to the other man.
Vekta glanced away, thinking before he responded. “They've been too sheltered. The twins haven't been around me when I've been working as a Starguard, which I'm essentially doing now. FGS certainly wouldn't notice a difference.”
He took another deep breath. “Are you going to promise or not?” He narrowed his eyes at the twins slightly, an expression he knew they'd recognize only too well.
Cory flounced once in her chair, but glanced at Stander, then at her father. “Fine. I promise.” She swallowed carefully, and glanced at her twin.
Story looked back at her, then at the two adults. “Something happened to you, Bapa... didn't it? I promise not to tell.”
“I may have to take their knowledge of this away from them,” Vekta shared with Stander reluctantly. “They're barely into their own powers.” He nodded to them slowly. “I was taken to a planet in a star cluster in a distant universe by an entity. Not that Polluxanvega, nor even remotely related to it. There this entity offered to develop powers she said I possessed but were latent. She calls them the Attitudes of Consciousness. I agreed because of my need to survive and because it was clear that these powers will be useful. I... didn't realize the full extent of the Attitudes when I agreed.” He paused, his glance sliding away from them.
“You were then able to view what was happening here across the universes... and you autoported here when you could,” Stander stated, awed. It took his full Tryker control to remain calm. “Is autoporting now limitless for you? And perception? What you can do now!”
“Yes,” Vekta affirmed simply.
The twins were already up and bouncing around. “Our Bapa is fantastic!” Cory crowed, waving her arms happily. “He can go and thrash that Slimy now! Whoooo!”
Story beamed, bouncing on qer toes, as usual a little more restrained. “So we can all go home right this minute, right? And you can restore Prater, can't you?”
Vekta sucked in his breath at that unwelcome reminder of the cybernism's demise. “That... I don't know,” he murmured. “And while, yes, we can now go home, I want to help the teleXandee, those Xandee with the powers of extra-dimensional perception. They're in a dangerous situation. In fact, I should probably send you twin stars home right now.”
“NO!” both twins chorused together. “Please, Bapa, let us stay?”
He sighed; of course they would want to stay. “Fine, but at the first hint of any threat toward any of us, you'll be finding yourself back in the apartment on Althaea, you understand? And I won't take time to inform you first.”
“But wouldn't that Polluxanvega just abduct them again?” Stander asked. “The twins said something about that entity wanting to keep them from interfering at Gozgazel.”
Vekta widened his eyes, then shook his head. “I don't know what it was thinking, but it doesn't matter. That entity has been dealt with and cannot bother us ever again.”
“Bapa, you defeated Slimy!” Story said proudly, grinning.
“Not me, but my mentor,” Vekta corrected qer, sighing. “Anyway, there is no more worry there. And I'll deal with Gozgazel in time.”
“This other entity,” Stander began slowly, “you trust her? You said you didn't understand the full extent of what was involved when you agreed.”
Vekta hesitated. The children had been involved enough. When he'd first thought that there might be something in them which could affect the Eye of the Gazelle, he was sensing that which was also in himself, the potential to develop the Attitudes of Consciousness. That was his first error. They never needed to be involved in any of this, he thought. I'd just mentread them to see how their telepathy was developing, so I was already aware of how special they are. It was just me all along, or a potential that they may develop in the future.
The second error was allowing Thho the Pelan to develop his Attitudes. But at the time, he'd rather been more interested in surviving the radiation from the nearby star cluster. If that hadn't been a factor, he'd probably have backed off until he could have thought the whole thing through, and even talked about it with another Level 8. Like Novella Aurand.
“Scorpa,” Vekta said aloud abruptly. Casting his senses around, he detected that entity still on the planet surface, observing the Xandee, it seemed — cooling his heels. “Do you trust him?”
> “NO,” the twins said together, making faces. “Well, not completely,” Story added.
“He's been a nuisance,” Stander commented. “But as long as it serves his own survival, he's been cooperative. He did rescue the twins, after all. There are species-specific differences in our telepathy, of course, but otherwise I suppose he would be a Level 8.” His eyes widened minutely. “You don't think—”
“I can void against him,” Vekta murmured. “Actually I've wondered if those same species-specific differences would prevent him from being able to develop the Attitudes. And to get back to your question, I trust that Thho has had no ill will against us. She did deal with Polluxanvega severely. Her species is not social at all, so there is no value to her for helping us. Her intention to teach me the Attitudes was solely a selfish one. She wanted to share them... a rare desire in her kind, to be sure. And now the burden of what to do with this knowledge is now mine.” He took a deep breath. “Twin stars, I'd like to talk to Major Kvaan alone, please.”
Cory flounced, but when her qother tugged on her arm, she got up with qer without a further protest. Their father had had that look in his eyes again.
When the children had left to go to the sleeping quarters in another part of the starcraft, Vekta turned back to his fellow Level 8 telepath. “Stander, a merge2, if you will...”
The Tryker nodded immediately, and cleared his mind. In moments, the two men had merged their surface minds. While not as smooth and instant as merging with Novella, the merge with Stander Kvaan was nevertheless easy, due to his ready willingness and calm demeanor.
“I don't want to risk the twins anymore,” Vekta began, sighing. “In fact, after we return to Alpha, I'll be removing from their memories any knowledge of the Attitudes. For now, this needs to be kept secret; I'm sure you understand that. You and I will need to go before FGS about the Xandee... and I'll need to tell the Commander General and perhaps the Starguard Director about the Attitudes.”
Stander nodded, but within the merge2 he could easily read the other man’s discomfiture. “I support your decisions completely,” he hastily assured the other man. “I can cept how this has shaken you, Colonel. It's changed you.”
Vekta smiled tightly. “We're merged, so call me Vekta, Stander. Probably you, too, have the potential to develop the Attitudes.” His expression sobered. “It's still changing me. I can scarcely believe what I'm able to do now. It's a gift... but one with a heavy responsibility.”
“One that may be sorely needed now. Perhaps Thho knew this. The Sdaldi. The Eye of the Gazelle. Far more dangerous threats than Polluxanvega,” Stander reminded him gently. Subtly, just under their awareness, they slipped into merge3, eyes falling closed.
Thho would have intervened back at Threvgem if she'd had any altruistic tendencies in her, the Vekta-Aspect admitted bitterly. We're in merge3, he noted, surprised, but pleased. I need to share this far more urgently than Thho was capable of doing, he added.
We're in merge3, Stander echoed, both pleased and intrigued. Did the Attitudes draw me closer? I welcome this... Vekta.
The merge2 state was as far as most High telepaths went when mentally merging. There was no ego loss involved and it was relatively easy to separate at that point. Merge3, however, began a process of ego erosion as one blended more and more with the other mind. Shared thought became less a function of menttransmission; each part of the merge3 was an Aspect of the whole.
Merge4 was a deeper blending. In that state, neither could avoid the inevitable conclusion, a merge5 with total loss of ego in which the two minds essentially became a new blended entity. Of course such a state could not be maintained and the resulting tearing apart was a “little death” that could be emotionally devastating in Humans. Only Level 7 or 8 Dracons and Esontians had ever endured that.
Many High telepaths, even Dracons, feared such an ego loss. Austine Tauscher, had once suffered a panic attack in a merge3, at the first sensation of losing herself. Now she distrusted merging altogether and loathed the idea.
Stander Kvaan, however, was of the opposite mentality.
I don't want to be the only one to bear the burden of the Attitudes, though I would not wish it on anyone, the Vekta-Aspect admitted to the other man candidly. I cannot ever ask it of you.
The Stander-Aspect replied, I would accept it. I've thought of applying to the Guard. And these are dangerous times indeed.
You... you made a huge sacrifice for me already, getting Polluxanvega to send you here to Xost to be with my children without knowing if you could ever return home, the Vekta-Aspect thought. I owe you the biggest debt.
Both men were feeling the subtle tug toward a merge4. Stander realized he'd have to endure substantial merge depletion afterwards even if they stopped at the merge3. But likely Vekta would not.
You're right, I can't be depleted to that degree anymore, Vekta-Aspect said. If you're willing, I would go all the way to merge5 with you, Stander.
The other's subconscious assent was enough to pull them deeper to merge4. Now the sharing went beyond language: the trauma of developing the Attitudes, the constant application of Tryker methods to maintain perfect emotional control, and the intentional use of emotion, enslaved to his will. All were shared in a matter of a single minute.
Then — releasing all of it — down to the purest mental energies, each man's signature energy blended with the other until individual differences blurred and vanished.
Merge5.
It only lasted seconds, the “little death” of total loss of ego and self. For that short span of time, both Vekta Rentclifv and Stander Kvaan ceased to exist. And in that same time, the merged minds made the strong choice as one new entity to commit suicide. As much as they had chosen to come together like this, they had also chosen to kill that new Self they created. There was no survival to be had otherwise.
At least as long as one of them did not possess the Attitudes of Consciousness.
Merge4. Merge3. Merge2. Finally, merge1 and then separation.
Vekta reached for Stander's hand, grasping it firmly. Then they rose as one and a trembling Stander pulled him into a fierce, tight embrace, only to be sustained for a moment until he fainted, merge depletion setting in. Vekta caught him, then teleported him to an empty bunk in the sleeping area. And even then, he felt dizzy for a moment. But the Attitude of Vitality filled his being with energy again, clearing his mind and restoring his physical energy. The twins are sleeping, too. They must be drained. He took a couple of deep breaths, then sank back down into his seat.
What a remarkable man Stander Kvaan is, Vekta mused. In the deepmerge, he’d learned that Stander was indeed a practitioner of Tryker Methodism, a Dycene, not yet an Adept. It explained so much: his apparent coldness, his perfect control of his emotions.
Vekta had also learned of the other’s attraction to him. He allowed me to know that, but has no expectations of me. I can’t think of such things right now; there’s too much going on. But it’s an honor to be so regarded like that. Instead...he is my brother of the mind now. He will develop the Attitudes as well; I feel sure he has the potential. Maybe not come to the Guard just yet, but someday. His passion for the Fleet and and service; no wonder he could sacrifice himself! Now that we've merged like that...
He bit his lip again as the residual emotion of the recent merge5 continued to roll through him. Vekta realized he, too, could apply emotional controls similar to the Tryker methods now, but he didn't want to. He wanted to hold the fierce emotion to himself, all the relief, hope, and, yes, pride and love. Stander was a like spirit to his own, a High telepath devoted even beyond reason to his ideals. It was the Starguard mentality with which others had accused Vekta of being too fatally infected. Heh, well, I'm certainly not alone anymore on that front.
Then he thought again: Scorpa... The emotional indulgence ended abruptly. Back to business.
Ruthlessly he teleported the physical shell of that entity to the Elektra, sitting oppo
site him at the table in the lounge where Stander had just sat. “We need to talk,” Vekta murmured, then took a swig of freiascha.
“Oh, hi, Rentclifv,” Scorpa said, trying to hide his shock. “Yeah, I guess I'm up for a chat. What's down?” He glanced at the cup of freiascha in front of him; it had been Story's. Tentatively he lifted it to cept, then hastily put it down. His chosen physiology of the moment didn't take to citrus fruits.
“You owe me,” Vekta said, settling down his cup and slouching down a bit in his chair. “You know, of course, that you can never take my body over like that again. That was only one of your sins. Shall I go down the list? Paralyzing others of my crew, collaborating with Polluxanvega in the first place—”
“All right, all right,” Scorpa hastily said, waving his hands in negation. “Yeah, I saved your kids’ lives, but I'm not going to argue that point, don't worry. You made yourself, er, clear.” He gulped as the other allowed him to sense just how much more powerful he was. “Right, so you've got work for me, I take it? Or I'll just go away, if that's what you want. After you send me home, of course.” He made a face; “home” wasn't where he wanted to be, either.
Vekta read all that. “How goes the meeting of the teleXandee? I know you've been observing that since we left there.”
Scorpa took a deep breath, nodding. “Hearing that Druxa-el's military was actually going to move against them — and you were right that they intended harm — I think that shocked them into realizing they weren't going to survive as long as they could be found. They don't have any way to keep from being located, you know. Their home society intends genocide against them.” He shrugged. “I can see how you think they're worth saving. But, really, you want to relocate them to your universe? And you can do that?”
“Then they're agreed,” Vekta said, mostly to himself, thinking about how he was going to pull all this off. And about how he had to avoid scaring Fleet General Staff too badly. “Yes, I can do that. You don't need to know how.”
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