After a pause, the Zena-Aspect said, Yeah, I don't even know what that is, not really. I guess that's a pair-bonding thing, but I tend to be a huge old cynic about that stuff. Love? I love being free from the junk that plagued me back in my original universe. I love myself, I guess... and not much else. Sorry, I'm in the way here, I bet.
The other three sent him a strong wave of denial, surprising him. Fine, fine, I'll shut up, he retorted.
Stander waited for Vekta to respond, but there wasn't anything there. Our ideals, our love for our lives and those around us may not be enough to show the Infinite what love is. If we have to Be love... that may not work with just the four of us.
“There is a way to show what that emotion, though it is very distasteful,” Thho spoke up abruptly.
“What's that?” One wanted to know, asking for them all.
“The little ones that are in — that — relationship to Vekta Rentclifv.”
“No,” Vekta-Aspect immediately shot back.
“Those little ones do not have to be here, or ever be aware or know what this composite mind is going through,” Thho replied solemnly. “But their addition to this Mind will give the flavor of what you are trying to communicate to the Infinite. If it is desired for the Infinite to taste love. — to feel something of that — then there must be more relating within the composite. Right now — clearly there is not enough. Even accounting for the emotions of Novella.”
“Break the merge,” Vekta said aloud in a hard voice, shattering the silence.
*
Then he was gone. Novella sighed deeply as the rest of them retreated back into Alpha, demerging fully.
“Okay, I'm guessing Rentclifv wasn't very happy with that,” Zena murmured, but no one paid him any attention for that obvious comment.
“I can't advise him on this,” Stander admitted quietly. “It's his sole decision to make.”
“He won't make it easily,” Novella murmured, her heart aching for him. “His relationship with his children may indeed make the difference here, but he hates to involve them. That aversion isn't overcome lightly. I couldn't do it. Even though Vekta is still very much operating like the Starguard he once was, he may not be able to either.” She sat up and hugged her arms to herself, not looking at either man.
“Rock and a hard place,” Zena mumbled.
“What?” Stander asked, puzzled.
“Never mind.” Zena cepted around; the two Level 7 telepaths were quiet in the little control room. He looked in on the Sixtheye fields surrounding them, then realized there was a new display showing the Eye of the Gazelle, now manifesting physically in space, and no longer merely a region of influence. The manifestation was more felt than seen, a strongly emanating field of utter wrongness. Damn...
*
Vekta had fled to Pel first, hiding out in Thho's cave, pulling in on himself in the shallow pool as his mind raced.
The twins!
“But, Bapa,” Story had said, serious, “if there is anything — even like something where you have to use our powers and you have to make us unconscious or whatever to do it — if anything can help, you have our consent to use us. I mean it.”
“Me, too,” Cory had chimed brightly. “I consent, too!”
I can't! Why did they say that? Did they know something? Then Vekta sent his perception to Althaea, finding the twins in the apartment there. Invisible and undetectable within Powerlessness, he searched their memories, mentreading to find why Story would have said such a thing.
And came upon a conversation in which Polluxanvega had cryptically dropped a bomb on the twins...
*
“Why, Vestor Rentclifv?” came the mental voice of the creature at last, ignoring the girl's emotional outburst. “To have you out of the way, of course.”
The deadly calm and oily satisfaction in the being's mental voice was enough to change Cory's mind about another round of mental yelling. She exchanged a horrified look with her qother. “Out of the way of... what?” she ventured.
Another pause. Story wondered if the creature was torn between a desire to keep them in the dark about his plans and a need to brag about his scheme. Prater shared the thought that perhaps that need to brag could be used to get some information they could use from the entity.
“So you cannot interfere.”
“Interfere with what?” Story pressed on.
“With what is going on at Gozgazel. Fortunately, you have no idea what is going on there. And now it does not matter because you are here in this universe and not in what you call Alpha.”
*
Vekta felt a deep inner chill at the revelation. What did Polluxanvega know? Wasn't it only that the twins, too, have the potential for the Attitudes? Was Polluxanvega an Attitudinal, too? It seemed the energy creature must have been. After all, it was handily traversing between universes. But did it know what the Eye of the Gazelle really was?
“I do not know,” Thho replied, following his thought. “Except that Polluxanvega, as he was called by the little ones, is not an Attitudinal, but merely an interdimensional nuisance and trickster. I have made sure he will not be able to traverse to the region called the Perseus Arm again.”
“Did it know about the Infinite and Psi Universe?” Vekta asked.
“Hmm, no. It was merely enjoying the discomfiture of the Taree and the Defender personnel. As long as the Eye affected them, that trickster entity could tap into Korgovax's vulnerabilities and exploit them.”
“Perhaps Polluxanvega's failing was that he was too focused on one thing, keeping everyone in flux so he could play with Korgovax,” Vekta replied, musing about the Taree Imperial Khagan. Then he remembered that Thho had killed him. “Was that necessary?”
The Pelan knew what Vekta referred to without even mentreading his thoughts. “At the moment death was the only way to break Polluxanvega's influence on the Khagan, and save both you and Novella.”
“You could have disabled the Distel, used Powerlessness to void Korgovax's attack!”
There was no response. She can't understand, Vekta thought, frustrated. Then his thoughts returned to his current dilemma. The twins have already had to suffer too much! I tried to heal the trauma from their abduction, but it will forever shape them, even if their memories were to be erased... and I so wanted to do that. But Dracons did not mentform. Vekta would not erase the trauma of losing their mother — or their father's and their own grief — or the interference by an interdimensional prankster.
But this — having to add the minds of his own children to a merge3 or more in order to impress upon the Infinite mind in Psi Universe what the concept of love and the value of life really was — to save their own universe?
Vekta bit his lip, even to drawing blood. The iron taste bitter in his mouth, he made his decision.
*
“Whoa, he did it,” Zena observed as the occupants of the Nebulae Tysona in the Gozgazel System felt the return of Vekta Rentclifv before they even saw him reappear. But it was rather the arrival of a new mind, the composite of the Rentclifv family.
Immediately Novella confronted him. “You merged2 with them but they're still on Althaea?” It was shocking that such a thing was now possible. “The twins aren't aware in the merge2?” She was relieved the children did not have to be physically present, but was appalled on the other hand that Vekta actually did it.
Vekta sank into a chair in the little meeting room where they were gathered, not meeting anyone's eyes “Yes, they are still on Althaea. No, their conscious minds are suppressed. I am merged with their subconscious minds. They will be unable to wake on their own so they won't be aware of anything that will happen. Thho has promised to watch over them.”
Stander narrowed his eyes at him, gauging his state of mind. “Vekta, you will need to commit to this completely, no matter how distasteful.”
Vekta shot him a glance. “I don't want to waste time worrying or regretting anything, so let's
just get this done,” he retorted, then looked away again. A second later, he stood again, shoved the chair away, and strode to the other room to return to the medbed.
“All right then,” Novella murmured, following him.
“He may not be mentally stable enough for this,” Stander cautioned her privately.
“Can't be helped,” Novella replied, but her heart was breaking, knowing how Vekta must hate himself at this moment.
*
Once all three Dracons were settled in the medbeds — the unmanifest Zena present only mentally to them right now — they set about remerging.
“The kids are going to spit me out,” Zena mused, uncomfortable. “Even unconscious, their subconscious is going to resist me because of all the, er, crap I've done.”
“Not an issue,” Vekta responded sharply. “Since they're already merged with me, I won't let that happen. They'll obey me.”
“Yeah? Damn...” Zena was hoping the new merge would reject him so he could get out of this. But he remembered they needed him to stabilize the composite mind that would be created.
“Remember, we have to focus on being about love,” Novella reminded them all. “Vekta and the twins will be the primary Aspect, the rest of us secondary. But we all have to concentrate on love — yes, even love for yourself, Zena. This may be our last chance to communicate with the Infinite to break its grief and hopelessness.”
“I think we can say we each have a very strong survival instinct,” Stander considered somberly. “I believe we can do this. And each of us must believe in what we are doing as well. There must be no hesitation.”
Zena felt the sharp attention of each of the others. “Ouch, that's directed at me! Hey, I really do want to survive this, too.”
“I can send you back to your universe right now,” Vekta said firmly. “But I do not want to do that. I want you very much to be one with us, to join us and believe in us. You've throw away your old life; there is no going back. From now on, you are one with us. Can you commit to that, Zena Hendrian? I've asked you before, but I need to ask you again. There must be no hesitation, no second thoughts, no itch to get out of this.”
Taken aback, Zena paused, but then gave them a mental laugh. “Oh, you think I want out of this? Forgive my last little weak protest, a small indulgence, really. Join you?” Suddenly he realized that he really did want to, maybe even ached to. Despite being a completely alien entity to them, not even possessing a permanent physical form, there was something in him that he had always known was there but had refused to accept, an itch to be part of something larger than himself, that his restlessness and penchant for mischief in his home universe was only a symptom of that ache, that perhaps he was never meant to be what he was born to be, but was supposed to find these strange, fragile beings and become one of them.
I'm that much of a freak, then, Zena thought, highly amused with himself. I don't think I ever thought much about destiny before, but... damn!
“Watch me!” Zena Hendrian thought to the others with wicked glee, then initiated the merge3, which rushed toward merge5 with frightening speed.
27: Resolution
The being in the Psi Universe known as One was stunned to meet the new composite Mind that returned across the dimensional barrier. “What did you do? You're... different!” It was shocked to perceive that this was actually the same Four that it had contacted before, but dramatically changed. Now they radiated hope, compassion, and something One could not identify but it was extremely strong. The four minds were blended even tighter, and only because One was an Attitudinal could it decipher the composite as four at all.
But not really Four.“I detect that one of your Aspects is Three... so you are Six? I do not understand how this can be, but whatever. Do you think you can communicate with the Infinite now?”
The composite from Alpha was in fact in a merge4 as yet, almost complete loss of ego, the individual personalities giving way to form a new composite persona. The draw to complete to a merge5 was fierce, especially with the powerful influence of the energy entity's mind. “We must try,” came the firm response.
One sensed the approach of the Infinite. As it still feared for its existence, it solidified its sphere of Powerlessness even harder, the new composite still without. They are foolish and will probably be killed this time, it thought morosely. I do not want to get caught in... that.
“This is what we have to do,” the composite continued, sending a wave of compassion. “We do not require you to join us, in fact it is probably impossible to add you to our merger.”This was also sent to the watchful Thho. “This is our special gift, the merging of minds into one. Witness what we can do.”
Abashed, One felt hope rise. Perhaps they can. Perhaps only they can.
Thho did not like the “flavor”, the feel of the composite Mind. It was too, too relational, all that unity and camaraderie and regard for each other. The Dracons and that Zena thing radiated the power of their emotions, but all of it was distasteful to the anti-social Pelan. “I will not witness,” she replied, radiating her own disgust. “Someday I may contact you again regarding sharing the Attitudes of Consciousness, but today is not the day.” She withdrew her attention completely from the Gozgazel System and Psi Universe.
We never were going to be able to count on Thho, the composite Mind thought soberly. We do not need her now. And speaking of now...
The resolution of the merge4 to the final stage, merge5, completed. Now they, too, were a One, no longer having any separate, component parts that could be identified. Normally this state could be only maintained for a few seconds but Zena's abilities were going to allow the merge5 to continue longer.
It was time.
Before the new Mind could reach out to the Infinite, the universe-wide entity grabbed ahold of it as before, thrashing this new being around in its effort to find out about it. It cepted the new flavor, but did not understand that it was a new combination of the composite it had encountered before. Again it assailed the Mind with its grief compulsion, but the “flavor” of this new entity did not seem to be affected by it at all.
So the Infinite stopped questing, emanating something the Mind could guess was curiosity and frustration and bewilderment — and surprise. It threw those emotions at the Mind, again assailing them: WHAT WHY HOW WHO??
“It's not killing you outright!” One menttransed to the Mind. “Your will to live is so strong! Something powerful is driving you.” It felt a wild surge of hope. “I do not understand exactly, but I do know about wanting to live! Maybe I—”
One re-emerged into that time-vector of Psi Universe, making itself present to the Infinite and the composite Mind, boldly coming forth at last with a renewed hope and a will to live to match these others. Now that the Infinite was no longer pummeling them with the grief compulsion, One saw its chance at last.
As the Mind watched in amazement, One initiated a contact with the Infinite and immediately began to communicate with it using its mathematical language, all hesitation and reluctance — and fear — gone. Since the Infinite was still stunned, One had its full attention. With reason and explanations through the use of mathematical symbology One began to get a message across.
I AM THE ONE LEFT AFTER THE DISASTER HAPPENED. BUT I BEAR NO ILL WILL AGAINST YOU. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. IT IS ALL RIGHT. THIS MIND ALSO WISHES YOU ONLY COMFORT AND RELIEF FROM YOUR SORROW. THIS POWER THAT IT HAS... LET IT MOVE YOU NOW.
All mental hammering stopped. There was a burst of thought, which One translated for the Mind: THERE IS... A SURVIVOR? The thought was accompanied by shock.
I WAS AFRAID OF YOU FOR SO LONG, One replied quickly, still afraid and feeling the danger of what it was doing. But the Mind's resolve gave it confidence. THIS MIND GAVE ME HOPE. IT COMES FROM A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SYSTEM OF TIME-VECTORS. YOU ARE NOT AWARE, BUT YOU ARE HARMING THAT SYSTEM. YOU CANNOT BRING BACK THE LOST BUT WE CAN BRING OTHERS TO THIS VECTOR FROM OTHER REALMS IN OUR SYSTEM. WE ALL WISH YO
U WELL AND WE ALL WANT TO SURVIVE.
Another burst — more surprise — but there was a trickle of hope there. OTHERS... THIS VECTOR... SURVIVE... But there was still confusion.
“We cannot maintain this level of merging,” the Mind related to One. “The Infinite is still pressing into our universe.”
One grew in confidence, now that he'd started. “I realize this is your only chance. I will make this work. But you must radiate this special angle even more now.”
Deep within the Mind, the innate power to merge of the Zena-Aspect automatically grew in strength, stabilizing the merge5 for a little while longer. The others radiated their love of life and love for existence and all living things — and the bonds they shared. They concentrated on Being. But even as they poured more power into radiating these emotions, the Mind made a decision, realizing that they must expose themselves even further to get across their message.
Some ten minutes later, the merge5 broke, with great relief, for its maintenance was extremely draining. Merge4 passed, and they settled back into a merge3 where the component parts could now be cepted, though the whole was still protected by their unity.
The Infinite observed these changes. One continued to resonate on its frequency, communicating through its equations, until it forgot its grief in wonder at this new emanation.
THEY ARE SIX! THEY CAN COMBINE IN NEW CONFIGURATIONS! One was radiating its own wonder. THEY EXUDE... And he dove into the abyss of equations, beyond where the others could understand.
Roots of unity, the Stander-Aspect commented, amazed. De Moivre's theorem... well, bottom line, it all has to do with the infinite number of possible combinations.
What you call love, Zena-Aspect observed, impressed, though there was still some skepticism there.
The difference being the “flavor” of Vekta's family unit, Novella-Aspect said in awe. And...
Yep, you've got it bad for him, heh, Zena-Aspect agreed with a rumble of humor. Within the merge3, the Vekta-Velcor-Vestor-merger was firm but quiet.
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