“I thought Nora didn’t like Mormons.”
“Is John a Mormon?”
“Of course he is.”
“Wait, what?”
She blinked at me owlishly. “Right, I suppose you wouldn’t have a clue. Yes, Johnny’s a Mormon. He was just ordained a high priest, and Keeley’s thinking over whether or not to put papers in for another mission. She served in Haiti last time and found it such a growing experience. But first she’s going to finish her masters.”
“Her masters?”
“I think I’d best decide on how to tell this story and just tell it, or else it’ll come out in jumbled bits and make no sense at all. Right... so do you believe me that Paul was a monster who beat his wife?”
I didn’t want to answer that.
“Fine, well, he was. And one day when he and Nora were having a monstrous row, two men knocked on the front door. Johnny was the only one who heard it and when he answered, the men explained that they were Nora’s home teachers, and they asked if they could help him with anything. He asked if they’d take him home with them.
“I lived out a ways back then, so you can imagine my surprise when I came home to find Bruce Babcock on my front stoop. I didn’t know him at the time, but he explained he was a counselor in the bishopric of the ward and he asked if I’d be willing to tell him a few things about the family. We sat out in my front garden and I told him what there is to tell, how there’s been drink and violence going as far back as I knew, how my dad beat my mum so bad she committed suicide-”
“What?”
“My dear, I am not of goodly parents. No one in our family is. It’s why I never dared have children of my own.”
“So what did the Church do for my cousins?”
“I wouldn’t know the full extent of it. I imagine they talked to Nora and my brother. They got the children some sessions with a counselor, maybe the parents too, I don’t know. The ward put together a rota of babysitters, willing to look after the children at a moment’s notice without asking questions, provided there was never a mark on them, and there never was. Nora managed to keep them safe in that respect.
“And I went to visit my niece and nephew when they were being babysat by ward members. It was sneaky of me, I know, but I was afraid that if I contacted Nora, she wouldn’t want me around them. We bonded at once, those children and I. People began to bring them to church every week and I went too, just to see them at first, but then I saw so many other things. Take Johnny, for example. He’s from a long line of abusive, alcoholic men. It’s not just Paul and our father. His father wasn’t much better. Things like that become a matter of course in a family and it seems like it’ll never end. I ended it by not having children, but Johnny did one better. He’s got a lovely family. One generation and look at what he’s done.”
“Yeah,” I said. “It doesn’t always work out, but people can do it.”
“Your family have a story like that?” She perked up.
I shook my head. “My dad’s been a Bishop and is now a Stake President. People came to us sometimes, when I was a kid, to thank him. I heard a lot of stories like what you describe with John.”
“Oh, well, I’d just thought that if your family was like that, perhaps I could understand Nora, but I fear she only was ever interested in the money and the house and all that.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I think these things tend to be more complicated. But that’s why you tried to buy her off so that she wouldn’t marry Paul?”
“I tried to save her life and she was horrid to me. She’s still horrid to me, even after all I’ve done for her.”
“I thought you two didn’t talk.”
“Not usually, no, but whose front door did she drag herself to when Paul beat her so bad she couldn’t even walk? Mine. That was after Bruce and I were married, so it was just ‘round the corner. And who helped her get on a plane back to America right then and there? Me. We got her to A&E to get her stabilized and then off she went to New York. She didn’t want to go to Utah, but she hinted that she would after she got more treatment. I couldn’t believe it when she was back with Paul six months later.”
“How many times did you help her get out of the country for medical treatment?”
“Well, just the once, really. The next time I told her she had to help herself, and she cursed me for it. She wasn’t beaten as bad. She turned her children over to another ward member and left for a few weeks. The children hadn’t been out of their home five minutes before they came and asked to stay with me. My house was where they always ran when they were scared. I love those two darlings as if they were my own. I never thought I could have a family like that - I know they aren’t mine. They’re Nora’s, but I thought that any child I had would end up like my father or my brother.”
“And John gave you a housekey?”
“Right, yes. He gave it to me so that he could feel safe. We rigged up a mirror on the back garden fence so that he could signal us any time. We promised we’d come get him, no matter what. I didn’t spend a single night away from my house for ten years, just in case that little one needed me.”
“So did you pick up the mail and feed Pip a few weeks ago?”
“Yes, that was me. I found Nora unconscious on the floor and called the paramedics too.”
“And let them in?”
“Right, yes.”
“How did you know?”
“Well, the usual way. I always peek into the house when I walk past. It’s an old habit, even though Paul and the little ones are gone. That night, her little dog scratched at the window when he saw me and barked and barked. He was so upset, I knew something was wrong. But tell me now, do you believe me? I wouldn’t hurt your aunt, difficult as she is.”
Her account fit all the facts. The only discrepancy was that it required me to believe that Nora had lied to me about Paul. “So how is Keeley these days?” I asked. “Her brother’s got no education but she’s doing a masters degree?”
“She applied for scholarships and bursaries and got them. Johnny’s not done well with all that. He married young and has his children, whom he loves. I support them as best I can. Keeley is doing quite well, though she’s very guarded in her personal life. Doesn’t like to date. But she and I get on like old chums.”
“And she and John don’t talk to Nora?”
“Unfortunately, no. It’s not how I would have things, but Nora doesn’t believe that. Thinks I stole her children from her. I fear she doesn’t talk to them because she thinks she’d also have to talk to me, not that I make a habit of forcing myself on her-”
“Except when you go in the house uninvited – not that I’m angry about the first time. You helped get her to the hospital. But trying to break in a couple of days ago? Not cool.”
“Right, fine. Perhaps I do pry a bit more than necessary, but no one tells me anything. What is this about Nora dying from cancer?”
“She’s past the stage when it’d be treatable. It took me a couple weeks to get her to have the scans she needed. She refused them because she didn’t want anyone to see her old scars from all the years of abuse.”
Louisa pressed her mouth into a thin line. She picked up a scone off a plate that had arrived sometime during our conversation – I’d been too preoccupied to notice when – split it in half and put it in front of me. “So he finally did it,” she said.
“Pardon?”
“My brother. I thought when he got killed in a car accident that his reign of terror would be over, but no, even dead he managed to kill Nora.”
“I guess so.”
She looked across at me. “I am very, very sorry.”
“Can we call Keeley?”
“Right, yes.”
Again she hit just one key on her cellphone, and again I heard an, “Auntie Lou!”
“Hello dearest... well, I’m going to have your cousin tell you that... Eliza, from Amer- yes her... Just let her talk to you, sweet. I’m going to pass you over.”
Again I t
ook the phone in my hand and pressed it to my ear. “Hello?”
“What is it, then?”
This was most definitely a female relative of mine. She didn’t beat around the bush. “Your mother’s got cancer. You need to come see her before it’s too late.”
“My mother?”
“Yes.”
“Right...”
“Listen, have you ever been tested for the BRCA mutation?”
“What’s this?”
“Something we need to discuss. It’s killed a lot of women in our family, so I speak from experience. No matter how you feel about your mother, you need to see her one last time. You’ll regret it if you don’t.”
In the silence that followed, I wondered what my cousin looked like on the other end of the line. All the pictures I’d ever seen of her were from when she was a child with her light brown pigtails and gap toothed grin.
“Please come,” I said.
“Put Lou back on.”
I passed the phone back and again Louisa told my cousin that she would pay for train fare.
As she hung up the phone, I said, “Nora made me her sole heir.”
She nodded, brusquely.
“So I guess it falls to me to decide who gets what. I need your help. I mean, I assume John should get the house, since he has children, but I don’t even know how much money there is or anything like that.”
Louisa did not look at me as she said, “You’re not obligated to give them anything.”
“It’s not really mine to give. Nora... you know how she is. She must’ve had a fit of pique a few years ago, but what she did was a mistake and you know it. So help me.”
“Well, I suppose we’ll need to look into matters, yes. But now eat your scone, dear. I know you wanted to get back to Nora.” She put the little tubs of butter, jam, and clotted cream by my plate. She was as meddling and bossy as ever, but now I could see the love that motivated her.
“Look,” I said, “now that I’ve found my cousins, can you help me with a few things?”
“Of course, of course.”
So much had changed in the course of a day that when I finally got home and went upstairs to see my aunt, I was shocked at how she looked the same. She was thin and frail and sleepy, but she still smiled when I walked in. She didn’t know that I’d dug into her secrets. I was still the one who painted her beautiful pictures of Paul.
I’d obsessed about this moment and now it was here. I reminded myself that I’d weathered an awkward conversation with Louisa just a few hours ago. I could do this.
“Hello, dear,” she said.
“Hi. Are you comfortable?”
“I am. Did you have a good date?”
“Um, you know? Yes. It went really well.”
“What have you got there?” She nodded at the large bag I toted under one arm.
I unslung it from my shoulder and set it on the floor. “I got four,” I said as I dug in with a crackle of plastic and came up with a large teddy bear. I didn’t bother to add that Louisa had come shopping with me. “Found the Toys R Us. It’s got microfiber fur. Feel.” I passed it to her and she took it in her hands and caressed the plush fur.
“Four of these-”
“All the same, of course. Nothing for them to fight over. They’re for John’s kids.”
“You’re sending these to John?”
“Well, that’d be doing it the hard way. He’ll be here tomorrow, midmorning.”
She dropped the teddy bear and gave me a startled look as if I’d just fired a gun into the ceiling of her bedroom. “John’s coming?”
“And his kids, and Keeley. Yes.”
“They’re coming? Here?” She cast about, as if looking for a place to run and hide. Then she looked up at me, a thousand questions in her eyes. How had I found them? What had they said? What did I think of her as a result? If I’d found her children, I had access to what they’d say about her and their father.
And now the moment had arrived. The moment when she realized I knew the truth and then what? Would she fly into a rage and throw me out? Burst into tears? Curl up into a ball and not respond when I tried to talk to her?
I picked up the teddy bear and stuffed it back into the bag. “Anyway, I’ll get started on that third painting of Paul as soon as possible, but I wanted to get the house ready first. I’ve got beds to make and all that stuff.”
Her gaze turned quizzical.
I kissed her on the cheek. “I love you. Call me if you need anything.”
I was up so late getting the house ready that it was a struggle to stay awake in church. Brother Babcock had me sit next to him. Louisa, he explained, was going to meet John and Keeley at the station and bring them to the house. He patted my shoulder sympathetically as I yawned my way through Sacrament meeting. He then gave me a ride home and we arrived at the house just as Louisa pulled into the driveway from the other direction. The nurse’s car was also in the driveway, so it was a tight squeeze.
I got out and stood with my hand shielding my eyes as my two cousins, whom I’d never seen outside of anonymous photographs on the walls, emerged. John was so tall he unfolded from the car to stand up straight, then leaned back in to extract one baby and a woman I took to be his wife – given she was shorter, rounder, and had much redder hair than the Keeley I’d seen in pictures – extracted another. Two other children with the big eyes of toddlers clambered out and looked at me as if I were their new headmistress and they weren’t sure what they thought of me yet.
The passenger side door opened and out stepped a woman with light brown hair, a very slender frame, and freckles over her nose. At the sight of me she gave a hesitant smile, then turned to get her luggage.
Brother Babcock waded into the fray to get suitcases and when I tried to follow, I found there were none left for me. Keeley turned around and found herself in the same situation. It was then that our eyes really met.
“Hi,” I said.
Her mouth twitched, and it wasn’t because she suppressed a smile.
“I tried to get in touch with you sooner,” I said, “but I didn’t know how. I mistakenly thought Louisa was evil. Didn’t occur to me to ask her.”
At that Keeley did chuckle. “She’s not too evil.”
“Not excessively,” agreed Louisa.
I dug in my purse and produced two house keys. I handed one to Keeley and one to John. Louisa looked at me expectantly. “There are only those two extras right now,” I lied. There was no way I was going to give her another key to the house. She might have apologized for trying to go in uninvited, but I suspected she wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation to do it again if she had the chance.
She gave me a tight lipped nod, then picked up one of the two toddlers and carried her towards the house. “This is your grandma’s house,” she explained.
John came to stand beside me. He didn’t say anything, just looked me over.
“Your mother’s in her room,” I said. “She’ll have regular visits and care from nurses.”
“For how long?”
“Until the end.” I shrugged.
“Right.”
He looked a bit like my other cousins on that side of the family. The same angular jaw and hesitant stance when he found himself out of his depth.
Since I didn’t know what to say next, I followed Louisa inside. As everyone filed in, I could feel the house change from the lonesome, empty place it had been every time I’d visited, to a home full of chatter and running feet and giggles upstairs. Pip raced around and shot up the staircase, tags jangling and tail wagging frantically.
“Best not to let her know I’m here,” said Louisa in a low voice. “I’ll go see if there’s anything for lunch in the kitchen.”
John’s wife, Bea, followed her and when I looked in the sitting room I saw Brother Babcock with an arm around Keeley. She smiled up at him while they caught up with each other.
John’s voice called out upstairs, “Put your bags next to your beds. Here, li
ke so.” His voice got softer as he moved away.
I climbed the stairs to Nora’s room, knocked, and entered when the nurse opened the door. My aunt was propped up on pillows, looking thin and drawn. I went over to hold her hand and her gaze darted to me with the quick, jerky movements of a bird. “I’m guessing you know they’re here,” I said.
The nurse slipped silently out.
“Yes.”
“You ready?”
“No.” That came out as a whisper.
Heavy footsteps sounded in the corridor and there came a sharp knock.
Nora grasped my hands tight. “Eliza, I-”
“Come in!” I said.
The door opened and John peered around it.
Nora grasped my hand so tight I felt the bones give. I gently pried to loosen it, but she didn’t even notice.
“Mum,” he said.
The door opened wider and his daughter peered around as well, her brown eyes wide.
“Leah, this is your grandmum. Mum, this is Leah Nora Chesterton.”
Nora dropped my hand and moved to sit up.
“Hello, Grandma. Thank you for the stuffed teddy bear.”
I could tell Nora was about to cry. I moved quietly around the bed and slipped out. This was their moment.
I went downstairs to check my email. There I found a message from Hattie.
Hey,
So... okay. I thought it over and decided you were right. I called my brother and he wasn’t too horrible. I didn’t talk about the Church and he didn’t either. I’m going to the “wedding”. No idea what to get for a gift.
Things are better, though, so thank you.
-H
I blinked and read that over again. She’d reconciled with her brother? My cartoon had convinced her? I’d spent my entire career living from one thin compliment to the next. I got a lot of, “That’s beautiful”s and “Perfect”s, but this was the first time anyone had told me something I’d drawn had made them change the way they lived their life.
This was Hattie, who believed the Democrats, Satan, and Hollywood were part of a cabal bent on stealing her family and making her miserable. She had offered reconciliation?
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