Why he kept dwelling on the dilemma, he didn’t know. It wasn’t as though he was seeking an answer to the question of what he should do.
He knew what he had to do.
He was going to walk away from Hannah.
It was the proper course of action, the most loving and fair.
You’re right, buddy, as soon as that baby is born, you should hit the road.
Ryan’s words echoed in Ted’s mind, and he opened his eyes and glowered at the ceiling.
Man, he’d hated hearing Ryan say that. The harsh reality of that statement had seemed to slice through him like a knife, causing him to flinch from the pain.
Ryan had done nothing more than agree with Ted’s own theory and the conclusion he’d come to, but Ted’s first reaction had been to want to angrily deny the accuracy of what Ryan had said, tell his partner he was nuts and should take a long walk off a short pier.
Leave Hannah? Never.
Oh, Lord, leave Hannah. He had to.
Damn it, Sharpe, don’t think.
* * *
Hannah played “White Christmas” from memory, leaving her free to gaze at Ted where he was lying on the floor with Daisy.
Ted, Ted, Ted, she thought dreamily. She loved him. Oh, how very much she loved that magnificent man.
He’d shown up at her door early that evening with a Christmas tree and a shopping bag full of ornaments and lights.
When he’d inquired the week before about her plans for a tree, she’d told him that her ex-husband had taken the boxes of decorations, and her budget didn’t allow for purchasing new ones. Next year, she’d have a small, pretty tree for the baby’s first Christmas.
Then up popped Ted with a tree and all the trimmings, telling her that this was Patty’s first Christmas. She was definitely here, he’d decided, giving Hannah’s stomach a friendly pat. And besides, Patricia Elizabeth was going to be born on Christmas Day.
Such fun it had been decorating the tree with Ted. Such special memories she’d tucked carefully away in a cozy corner of her heart.
A wave of sadness suddenly swept through Hannah and she attempted to push it away, not allow it to linger.
She finished playing “White Christmas” and went on to “Silent Night,” again knowing it from memory. It was her favorite Christmas carol, so hauntingly lovely. She felt threatening tears burning at the back of her eyes.
Oh, Hannah, she admonished herself. Don’t be sad. No one got everything they wanted in life. Her desire to be Ted’s wife, stay by his side in that role until death parted them, was a wish and prayer that was not hers to realize.
She could still be happy, she told herself, if she worked very hard on her outlook and attitude, approached the tomorrows as daffodils-and-daisies days. Ted would be there for her and the baby, just as he now was. That he wouldn’t have the titles of husband and father were facts she had to handle and make all right as they stood.
I’ll do it, Gran, she thought. Somehow.
Hannah played the last chords of “Silent Night,” then lifted her hands from the keys. She leveled her bulky body upward and moved away from the piano.
“That was really nice,” Ted said, still in his prone position.
“Thank you,” she said, easing onto the straight-backed chair. “I would have played more, but my back hurts. I have to lean forward at a weird angle to reach the keys and I don’t last long.” She swept her gaze over the tree. “Oh, it’s so pretty. Thank you, Ted.”
He chuckled, causing Daisy to bounce on his chest. The kitten woke and began to wash one paw.
“You’ve thanked me forty-two times,” Ted said. “Enough already.”
“Okay. Then I’ll thank you for buying gifts for the MacAllister kids for both of us to give them.”
“You covered that one, too,” he said, smiling. “You discovered that shopping in the crowds wipes you out, and your budget wasn’t prepared to include a herd of munchkins. Elementary, my dear. I took care of it. Besides, I’m ready for any excuse to hang out in toy departments. That is really a kick. They’ve got dynamite stuff for sale this year.”
Ted lifted Daisy from his chest and placed her gently on the floor. He rolled to his feet, then sat down on the sofa. Looking over at the tree, he nodded in approval, then directed his attention to Hannah.
“How did your final childbirth class go last night?” he said.
“Fine, I guess. I can pant and puff with the best of them.”
Ted grinned. “I hope your friend Laurie won’t mind having her Christmas interrupted. As your coach, she’ll have to be there on the twenty-fifth when Patricia Elizabeth arrives.”
“I told her about The Baby Bet.” Hannah laughed. “She’s cheering for Forrest. She said her husband is a couch potato on New Year’s Day, watching football, and it would be a perfect time for her to be with me at the hospital.”
“Well, too bad for Laurie, because I’m winning The Baby Bet this go-round. Hear that, Patty?” he said in a louder voice. “Christmas Day, kid. Don’t let me down.”
“You’re so crazy.”
Ted smiled, shrugged, then became serious.
“Hannah,” he said, “my folks are coming over between Christmas and New Year’s. They’ll park their motor home at a camp near here and pop in and out of my place when I’m off duty.”
“Oh, how nice. You must be looking forward to seeing them.”
“Yeah, sure I am, but…Well, I thought I should prepare you because they’ll be, you know, curious about what you and I…What I mean is, they’ll wonder if we’re…Damn.”
Hannah cocked her head slightly to one side.
“Ted,” she said, frowning, “are you saying you haven’t told your parents that you’re involved with a woman who’s about to give birth to a baby?”
“No, I…um…I haven’t mentioned it.”
Hannah’s eyes widened. “Good grief, what if they take one look at me and assume the baby is yours?”
It is! his mind yelled. In all the ways that mattered, the baby was his.
“Patty will already be born by the time they arrive, remember?” Ted’s attempt at a smile failed.
“Born, not born, that isn’t the point. Ted, why haven’t you told them about me?”
Damn, he thought, what should he say? The lie he was living now was ripping him apart. He could not, would not, tell Hannah an out-and-out spoken lie.
“Look,” he said, “my folks are great people, they really are. I’m not as close to my dad as I am to my mom, but…” He shrugged. “That’s not unusual, I guess. The thing is, I’m their only child, so they…my mom especially…want to know the nitty-gritty of what’s going on in my life. You know what I mean?
“Not that they pry, or get pushy about it, but one question leads to another, then another, so I just sort of keep my mouth shut about a lot of things. Get the drift? Anyway—”
“You’re babbling.”
“I am? Oh.” He cleared his throat. “Well, I’ll stop talking, then.”
“You do intend to introduce me to them?’’
“Yeah, sure. That’s why I was warning you that they were coming.”
“That’s dandy,” she said, throwing up her hands in frustration. “Let’s see, how’s this? It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Sharpe. You have a wonderful son, but this isn’t his baby. Ted and I are lovers, but I was already pregnant when I met him by waking him playing ‘Yankee Doodle’ on the piano.
“I wanted to clear up the baby business right away so you wouldn’t think your Theodore hadn’t done the honorable thing after getting me pregnant. Okey-dokey, folks? Great. No problem.”
Ted nodded. “That about covers it. I don’t think you need to throw in the bit about us being lovers, though. My parents aren’t stupid or prudish, but there’s no reason to hit them over the head with it.”
“Aaak!” Hannah yelled…Ted jerked in surprise at her outburst.
“What!” he said, matching her volume.
“I w
as being sarcastic, you dope. I was attempting to make it clear that you can’t produce a very pregnant woman out of the blue and expect your parents to just calmly sit down and have a chat about the weather.”
“Oh.”
“That’s not fair to them, or to me, Ted. It’s your responsibility to tell them about me before I meet them. If you don’t, I’m going to be very uncomfortable and I’m certain they will be, too.”
“Oh.” He sighed. “All right, I’ll take care of it.”
“Well, I’m sorry it’s such a burden on you.” She folded her hands on her large stomach and lifted her chin, glaring at Ted for good measure.
“You’re angry,” he said.
“No. My feelings are hurt. You’re treating me like this was the Victorian age, when they stuck the disgraceful pregnant female in the broom closet when guests came.”
Ted got to his feet and crossed the room. He hunkered down next to Hannah’s chair and covered her hands where they rested on her stomach with one of his own.
“You wouldn’t fit in a broom closet,” he said, producing his best hundred-watt smile.
“You,” she said, turning her head to look at him, “are a dead man.”
His smile instantly disappeared.
“Just a little humor there,” he said. “Sorry. Hannah, I wouldn’t hurt your feelings for the world. I was taking the easy road with my folks, that’s all. My mom will want details, details, details, but I’ll tell them about you before you meet them. I promise. Okay?”
Hannah nodded.
Ted stood, then shifted to stand in front of the chair. He braced his hands on the arms, then leaned over to claim Hannah’s mouth in a searing kiss. ’
Hannah’s lashes drifted down as she parted her lips to receive his tongue, savoring his taste as well as the heated sensations of desire that instantly swirled within her.
Oh, Ted, her mind hummined. She was so tired of being pregnant; fat and clumsy and unattractive. She wanted to be slender again, womanly. She wanted to make love through the night with the man she loved, with Ted.
Ted reluctantly broke the kiss and straightened.
“Whew,” he said, taking a ragged breath. “You’re potent stuff, Ms. Doodle.”
“I’m fat stuff,” she said miserably. “I’ve had enough of toting this load around and looking like a blimp, a life raft, a whale. I want to tie my own shoes, for crying out loud.”
Ted chuckled. “I’ve heard MacAllister ladies sing that song. Isn’t it nice to know you’re normal? Hey, Christmas is only two weeks away. You’re in the home stretch, my sweet.”
“I know, but…Ted, do you realize you’ve never seen me not pregnant?”
“I hadn’t thought about it, but you’re right. So?”
“So, could we make a date now to go out to dinner after the baby is born and I get my figure back? I hope it doesn’t take too long to have a flat tummy again. I’ll wear a pretty dress, a slinky number, that announces ‘I am woman,’ and we’ll do up the town. That would be so nice to look forward to.”
“Ah, Hannah, the way you are right now declares you to be a woman to the maximum. You’re so beautiful. I’m going to remember what you looked like pregnant, memorize every precious detail.”
“Heaven forbid.”
“I’m serious, I really am. But, yes, after the baby comes, I promise I’ll take you to the fanciest restaurant in town and you can wear your slinky dress.”
Hannah pointed one finger in the air. “Not until I lose whatever weight doesn’t evaporate when Patty is born.”
“How…how long will that take?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve had friends who fit into their old jeans the day they came home from the hospital. Others had to exercise and diet for weeks.”
Weeks? Ted thought. How many weeks? He’d promised, fool that he was, to take her out to dinner. Promises made, were promises to be kept.
But, oh, hell, the agony of it all. Each day he was with Hannah and the baby, impersonating a family, sharing Patricia Elizabeth while knowing he had to leave them, was going to be torture.
Oh, Lord, what he wouldn’t give for things to be different, for the truth not to be the truth. If only he was whole, the man that Hannah deserved to have. If only—
“Ted!”
“Huh?” he said, snapping back to attention.
“Daisy is crawling up the Christmas tree!”
“Oh, Lord. Hey, you,” he said, hurrying across the room. “We have an angel on the top of that tree, thank you very much. The job has been filled.”
And her heart had been filled, Hannah mused, with Ted. Forever.
* * *
A week later, Ted sat on the sofa in his living room, the telephone receiver propped between his head and shoulder.
“So, there you have it, Mom,” he said. “Hannah is my pregnant neighbor, and we’ve been seeing a lot of each other. She made me promise to tell you about the baby before you met her so you wouldn’t be caught off guard, not knowing what to say, or whatever.”
“I see,” Susan Sharpe said. “Yes, it’s better that we know so it won’t create an awkward moment. That poor girl. Imagine having such a heartless husband. She’s well rid of him.”
“No joke.”
“But Hannah certainly has a lot to deal with. Tending to a new baby is difficult enough, even if you have help at first, but Hannah has no family.”
“Well, the MacAllisters treat her as one of the clan. Hannah’s teacher friends don’t have any kids, but the MacAllisters make up for it. Deedee, Andrea, Jenny, Jillian, the whole gang will pitch in, I’m sure.”
“And you, Ted?”
“Me? Oh, well, I can run errands for Hannah when I’m off duty. You know, go to the store for diapers and stuff like that. Besides, I had a long talk with Patricia Elizabeth about being a good baby, sleeping through the night early on, not hollering unless she has a real red-alert situation. Patty and I understand each other.”
“You sound as though you’re…Oh, what words shall I use?… attached, emotionally involved, with Hannah and her baby.”
Ted grabbed the receiver and got to his feet, pacing as far the telephone cord would allow.
“Ted?”
“Well, sure, I’m emotionally involved, as you put it. Look how quickly you had an emotional reaction to Hannah’s situation. Hey, the Sharpes are nice people, you know.”
“Somehow, dear, I don’t think my feelings are coming from the same place as yours are. Well, we won’t get into that.”
“Good idea,” he said, frowning.
“I’m looking forward to meeting Hannah, and I want to knit something for the baby. I assume that Hannah had an ultrasound since you referred to the little one as Patricia Elizabeth. That’s such a lovely name. I’ll make her a pink sweater, cap and booties.”
“No, Hannah didn’t have that test.”
Susan laughed. “Then Forrest MacAllister must have declared The Baby Bet to be officially in operation and predicted that Hannah will have a girl.”
“No, he said she’d have a boy on New Year’s Day. That’s where he put his twenty bucks. I announced that Patty will be born on Christmas. Forrest is going to lose The Baby Bet for the first time.”
“You’re that positive, are you?”
“Yup.”
“Very interesting. Yes, that is very interesting.”
Ted stopped his trek back and forth in front of the sofa.
“It is?” he said. “Why is it so interesting?”
“It’s just motherly wisdom rising to the fore, Theodore.”
“I hate it when you call me Theodore. It usually means trouble for me one way or another.”
“Tsk, tsk, that’s your suspicious police-officer mind clicking into gear. So, what did you buy Hannah for Christmas?”
“I’ve been shopping three times for her gift, but I can’t find anything that rings my chimes.”
“For heaven’s sake, Ted, there’s only a week left before Christm
as.”
“Plenty of time, plenty of time. I got Patty a cute stuffed kitten that looks just like Daisy. Oh, Daisy is the kitten I bought for Hannah so her apartment would seem more like a home. It worked, too. Daisy is nuts. She’s into climbing up the Christmas tree.”
“You’ve never fussed with a tree before.”
“It’s not in my place. I bought the tree and decorations, and Hannah and I put it up in her living room. Looks great. I got Daisy a little ball with a plastic mouse inside for Christmas.”
“Interesting.”
“Would you quit saying that?”
“I’m sorry, dear.”
“Hey, listen, Mom. Hannah thinks she’s fat and unattractive. You know what I mean? When you meet her, could you say something cool like being a new mom becomes her, or you’re sure she was a very pretty pregnant person, or whatever?
“I think she looks beautiful and I’ve told her that a dozen times, but maybe if a new voice said it…No, forget it. By the time you get here, it won’t matter anymore. Okay, that covers that.”
Susan laughed softly.
“What?” Ted said. “I heard that funny little chuckle thing of yours. Dad always says that when you laugh like that, he and I might as well give up, because you’re in your ‘I know more than you know’ mode.”
“Do tell.”
“No, you tell. What’s going on in your nonstop brain?”
“Oh, this and that. Well, we’re producing a huge telephone bill for you to pay. We’ll get all caught up when we’re together. Have a wonderful Christmas, Ted, and the same wish is extended to Hannah. Your father and I will see you a day or two after the holiday.”
“Okay. Merry Christmas to you and Dad. Bye for now.”
“Goodbye, dear.”
Ted replaced the receiver, then stared at it with narrowed eyes.
His mother was a mother, but she was also a woman, which meant he didn’t stand a chance of understanding her. What had Mrs. Susan Sharpe meant with her weird “interesting” and her all-knowing laugh?
There was no way his mom could have figured out he was in love with Hannah. He’d handled the conversation with genius-level expertise. Hannah was his neighbor. He’d befriended her during a rough time in her life because he was a nice guy. End of story.
The Father of Her Child (The Baby Bet #3) Page 15