“I appreciate it, Doc. Thanks.”
She patted his hand. “You’re welcome. Now I have to scoot and meet my Valentine’s Day dates.”
“Dates? As in more than one?” Cam asked to her retreating back. He poked his head around the edge of the booth and watched his cousins, Chet and Remy West, escorting the lovely and lively doc from the bar.
Huh. Maybe he was drunker than he thought.
But that didn’t keep Cam from drinking steadily over the next couple hours. Everyone left him alone, left him mired in thoughts ranging from morose to manic to plain moronic.
So he was shocked when his brother Colt slid into the booth opposite him. “Am I hallucinating? My recovering alcoholic big bro is in… a bar?”
“Yep. I am here to haul your drunken ass home.”
“Who called you?” That’d come out belligerent.
“Lettie called Domini. Domini called me. She knows I won’t be tempted to linger in here with you and suck down what’s left of the keg.” Colt squinted at the empty pitcher of beer and then at Cam. “And I’m strong enough to carry you into the house if need be. Will I hafta do that, Deputy Bro?”
“Probably if I have any more. But I’ve been done drinking for a while.”
“Good.” Colt motioned and Lettie appeared. “Can we leave out the kitchen door?”
“Just like old times, huh?” Lettie snickered. “Sneakin’ two McKay boys out the back.”
Cam’s wobbliness had nothing to do with his bum leg and Colt propped him up without Cam having to ask.
On the ride home, Colt said, “So from what I’ve heard, a bad day on the job?”
“The worst.” He thought back to the night his cousin Luke had died. “One of the worst, for sure.”
“Domini’s beside herself with worry. Especially after she found out you were first on the scene this morning. And then she hasn’t heard a word from you except a single text.”
This day was a clusterfuck from one end to the other. “I just… I didn’t feel like talking about it. I still don’t.”
“Understood.”
Cam closed his eyes and leaned back into the headrest. After a bit he said, “I suppose it’s too late to quit my job as a deputy and start ranching fulltime?”
Colt snorted. “No dice. You’d last two days and I’d have to pick up your slack. Besides, you’re a good cop, Cam. You’re doing exactly what you oughta be. Yeah, some days are gonna suck ass. Part of life. Crawling into a bottle ain’t the way to deal with it.”
“I know.”
“You see bad shit on a daily basis that most people don’t ever see. Do you have a way to cope with it?”
“Like blathering on to a shrink or something? No.”
“You deal with it all yourself?”
“Yep.”
Of course that wasn’t the end of the discussion. Colt kept pushing. “You’re gonna bring the bad stuff from your job home sometimes. Don’t try and hide it. Let your kids and your wife see that your working life ain’t all roses and bein’ treated like a hero. Let them be the light to ward off the darkness that comes with your job.”
Few people gave Colt credit for being insightful, but Colt had been through some bad things in his life and his advice was solid. Cam whistled. “Whoa, bro. That’s almost poetic.”
Colt laughed. “You’re drunker than I thought if you’re callin’ me a poet. Come on. I’ll help you inside.”
Cam lowered himself to the ground and accepted Colt’s help getting up the steps.
Domini met them on the porch. The kids were still up and she shooed Liesl, Anton, Dimitri, Oxsana and their dog, Gracie, back inside. She slipped her arm inside Cam’s coat and he welcomed her warmth. Her support. The unconditional love that reminded him he was the luckiest man alive to get to come home to her every night.
She said, “Thank you, Colt, for bringing him home.”
“No problem.”
Cam pressed his lips on the top of Domini’s head. Inhaling her familiar scent. But she didn’t let the affectionate gesture linger. She pulled him into the house. Into the chaos that he normally reveled in.
But the lights were too bright. The TV too loud. Gracie barked and whined when Anton scolded her. Liesl chattered like a magpie, purposely talking over the twins.
Colt clapped him on the back. “Whenever I think my house is a zoo with two kids, it’s good to come to your place. Makes our house look like a freakin’ monastery. Call me if you need anything.”
Cam nodded and the door slammed behind his brother.
Domini unbuttoned his coat and removed it. She slid her hands up his chest and wreathed her arms around his neck, pressing her lithe body against his. “I was worried about you. Are you all right?”
No. I’m not even fucking close to all right.
She eased back and peered into his face. “I can see you’re not.” She rose to her toes, kissed his mouth and whispered, “What can I do?”
“Just let me crawl into bed and put this day behind me.”
“Cam, it’s Valentine’s Day. The kids planned a special surprise for you.”
“I-I can’t… be around them. I c-can’t let them see me like this.”
“Just for a little while? They’ve been waiting.”
He shook his head and closed his eyes, not able to bear their disappointed faces. “I can’t. Not tonight. I need to be alone.”
“Daddy, wait until you see what—”
“Liesl. Honey, remember what we talked about?” Domini said.
“I told you it was a dumb idea,” Anton taunted.
“You’re a dumb idea,” Liesl retorted.
Anton and Liesl argued.
Then Oxsana and Dimitri argued.
Markus beat on a xylophone and Sasha yelled at him to stop until he began to cry.
The phone started to ring.
The dog yipped.
Cam walked down the hallway to their bedroom and shut the door.
Alone in the silence. He could hear himself breathing in the blessed quiet.
Then gruesome images and coulda-woulda-shoulda regrets pushed this day’s awful events into the flashes of death from his military past, so it was like a horror movie stuck on replay—a speeded-up version of a movie that he couldn’t get to shut off even if he closed his damn eyes.
Why had he thought he’d wanted to be alone? His mind wasn’t a quiet void. In fact, it was a damn unpleasant place to be today.
He stripped and removed his prosthesis. Grabbing his crutches, he headed for the shower. He remained under the steaming spray until his fingers were pruny and he’d run out of tears.
Five minutes after he crawled between the sheets and lay there in the darkness, staring at the ceiling, he heard Domini enter their bedroom and lock the door. Then her warm, naked body slid next to his. Her cool hands caressed his face.
He sighed. This woman filled his life with more happiness than he’d ever known. She deserved better than a man who retreated when his dark edges emerged. But better to be a ghost of a man who disappeared rather than a monster of a man who pointed a gun at her and pulled the trigger.
“The kids are in bed.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t help with them tonight. I know they—”
“Cam. Baby. It’s okay. Tomorrow is a new day.”
He squeezed his eyes shut against a rush of tears. He turned his head and kissed the inside of her wrist. “I love you.”
“I know you do. I also know you probably don’t want to talk about what happened.” Her fingers ruffled the hair on his chest. “Even though your body is still, I can tell you’re restless.”
His cock was starting to stir with her every teasing caress over his skin. Definitely not suffering from whiskey dick.
“Let me help you with that restlessness, Cam.” Her fist closed around his thickening shaft. “Just relax and let me ease you.”
His whole body seized up. Ease him? Like she was doing him a goddamned favor? He half-snarled, “Is thi
s a pity fuck?” before he could bite it back.
But his sexy wife emitted a throaty laugh and lightly slapped his dick. “Yes, because it’s such a chore to put my hands all over your strong body. It’s pure torture. I don’t know how I’ll ever bear it.” She nipped his shoulder with her teeth. “But somehow, I’ll suffer through and take one for team McKay.”
He smiled for the first time in what seemed like days. “Such a noble sacrifice.”
“I figured you’d appreciate it.” She angled forward to lick his nipple. Goose flesh rippled down his abdomen. “Besides. It is Valentine’s Day and I’ll get cranky if I don’t get laid.” She pressed kisses from the tip of his chin up his jawline to his ear. “Very, very cranky, since I’m pretty sure you didn’t get me a gift.”
“Dom, I don’t know—”
“Don’t tell me you’re not up for this.” She squeezed his erection. “Because I’m holding the ultimate lie detector and it’s saying… mount up.”
Cam groaned and rolled his hips into her stroking hand.
“You need a reminder of what’s good and a chance to forget the bad. Since the word ease pushed your buttons, how about this… Sir, will you let me have my wicked way with you?”
A bold move on Domini’s part, asking for control. Outside the bedroom they were equal partners in all things. But here, in their private space, with the door locked, Domini surrendered her sexual will to him. Completely. Without question.
“Say the word to me, Cam, so I don’t give you a reason to bend me over your knee and paddle my butt for insubordination.”
He twisted his fingers around the chain dangling from her neck, a symbol of the bond between them few would understand. She always knew exactly what he needed. He tugged her closer by the chain and murmured, “Yes. Make me forget.”
Domini kissed him with teasing sweetness that gradually heated into passion. She pinned his arms above his head and used every sexual trick in her repertoire to drive him wild. To blank his mind to everything but his frenzied need for her.
Then she connected their bodies and began to move on him. Taking her time, so he felt every sensuous glide of her soft skin over the rougher rasp of his. Whispering Ukrainian endearments in his ear. Each slide of their sweat-coated bodies drove them higher until finally they tumbled over the edge into that vortex of pleasure together.
Although winded—and sated—Cam wasn’t ready to return to reality. Didn’t want ugliness to intrude on the beautiful gift of peace Domini had given him. He wanted to stay in this cocoon for a little while longer. He rolled Domini to her back and whispered, “Again,” losing himself in her heat and softness and goodness.
Then he slept in her arms, in a surprisingly dreamless sleep.
~*~
The next morning Domini poked him to get up—way, way too early since he didn’t have to work and the kids were out of school.
Cam rolled over, pulling the pillow over his head, intending to sleep the day away.
He should’ve known better than to try and thwart his wife, the woman who regularly got six kids up and ready for the day. She opened their bedroom door and let the dog in. An open door was an open invitation, and soon Markus and Sasha climbed onto the bed, crawling all over him. Offering hugs, kisses and giggles as their wiggly bodies began to bounce on the mattress. Then the twins joined in the fun, laughing hysterically at their live game of Hop on Pop, which happened to be a favorite family book. Then Anton joined the fray. Showing off karate kicks and spins.
Cam grinned at his exuberant kiddos, having so much fun with the forbidden activity. If he still had both legs he probably would’ve joined them. So he egged them on.
A gasp. Then, “Cameron West McKay! You’re letting them jump on the bed?”
“Yep.” And wasn’t his wife a good little actress? Pretending to be indignant when she’d known that he needed to be surrounded by all their smiling faces first thing this morning.
“Off,” she said, pointing to each kid in turn.
“But, Mom—”
“Sorry, kids. Mommy is right. No more monkeys jumping on the bed.”
They reluctantly bounced off and raced out of the room, laughing.
Speaking of laughing… Where was Liesl? She was always in the thick of things. But since she, too, wore a pirate’s leg—the phrase she used to describe her prosthesis—she’d probably seen no point in trying to do a one-legged hop.
He dressed, using his crutches, not bothered in the least that his stump hung out. It’d taken a while for him to feel comfortable letting his family see that broken part of him.
He came back from the war… broken… on the inside. Why didn’t you reach out to him?
Dammit. He was not going there today. He was not Jeff Wingate.
Cam swung into the kitchen as saw Liesl sitting alone at the breakfast bar. She beamed a sunny smile his way as soon as she saw him. “Daddy!”
“Mornin’, punkin’.”
Liesl crawled onto his lap immediately after he sat down. She hugged him tightly and sighed heavily. Then her gap-toothed smile faded.
“Something wrong?”
“Mommy said you were too tired last night for my Valentine’s Day surprise.”
“Yes, I was. Sorry, sweetheart. Sometimes my job makes me tired.”
“Does it make you sad? Cause you looked kinda sad last night.”
Cam tucked a flyaway strand of blond hair behind Liesl’s ear. “Yeah, I was sad, too.”
“Why?”
He struggled to put it in terms she could understand without putting a rainbows-and-butterflies spin on it. “Because I saw a bad thing.”
His normally animated daughter wore a somber look. “I was scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“Scared that someone hurted you and that’s why you were so sad.”
“Oh, no, Liesl, honey. I’m sorry you were scared. No one hurt me. Doing my job… sometimes I see stuff that hurts me inside.”
She nodded and her pigtails bounced. “Sometimes, when I’m sad, my heart hurts.” Then she bent forward and placed a kiss on his chest. “Did that make it feel better?”
Tears sprang to Cam’s eyes. He pulled his precious girl closer to the heart she owned. “Yes, sweetheart, it really did.”
Liesl squirmed away. “Now can I give you the surprise?”
He chuckled at the rapid reminder of her short attention span. “By all means. What is it?”
“First, you gotta wear this.” She grabbed a gold paper crown she’d embellished with pink glitter glue swirls and tiny hearts cut from construction paper. “You get to be the King of Hearts.”
Cam froze. That was the title given to the king and queen of the junior winter formal. The title that Jeff Wingate had worn.
A happy, humming Liesl tugged the crown over his head, repositioning it until it was exactly how she wanted it. Then she noticed his change in posture. “Daddy, what’s wrong? Is the crown too tight?”
“No. It’s just…”
She placed her hands on his cheeks and stared into his eyes. “Does your heart hurt again? ‘Cause I can give it another kiss. Sometimes, it takes a whole bunch.”
And sometimes in a single instant, it just took the sweetness of one little girl, the happy screaming laughter of his kids, and the loving indulgence of his wife to set everything in his world right again.
That’s when he really understood he was nothing like Jeff Wingate. When the darkness encroached, he didn’t hide in it for long. He let his wife and children be the forces of nature that pulled him back into the light where he belonged.
“Are you worried that Mommy might feel bad because you’re the king? Because every king needs a queen, Daddy, everyone knows that. So Mommy has a crown, too. She’s the Queen of Hearts. I put purple hearts on yours because Mommy said a purple heart is a sign of bravery.”
“What color are the hearts on Mommy’s crown?”
“Red. Because red means love.”
“Yes, in
deed it does. Mommy is all full of love, isn’t she?” He cleared his throat. “So are you. Making us matching crowns is a good surprise, Liesl. Thank you.”
Liesl snorted. “Daddy, that’s not the surprise.”
“It’s not? There’s more?”
“Yes!” She clapped her hands. “We’re gonna put on a Valentine’s Day play for the King and Queen! All of us. Even the little kids. Even Gracie. It’s all set up in my bedroom. Everyone is waiting for me to bring the king so the show can start.”
His theatrical daughter loved to put on a show. That meant impromptu costumes and props from the barn and cardboard backdrops done in crayon, and live music—usually kazoos, a xylophone, maracas, drums and a harmonica—basically full out chaos, kids fighting and screaming and crying, popcorn on the carpet and spilled juice. A total mess that’d take three days to clean up.
He couldn’t wait to be a part of it.
Cam adjusted his crown, smiled at his daughter, and bowed formally, while holding onto his crutches. “Well, then, Princess Liesl, lead the way.”
She giggled. “Daddy, You’re silly.”
“That’s your highness to you, young lady. Come on. The King of Hearts can’t keep his subjects waiting, can he?”
*****
LORELEI JAMES
New York Times and USA Today bestselling author, Lorelei James, pens erotic western romances about cowboys and the women who love them. Lorelei’s books have been nominated for and won the RT Book Reviews Reviewer’s Choice Award and the CAPA Award. Lorelei lives in western South Dakota. You can find her at www.loreleijames.com.
Toni McGee Causey
BOBBIE FAYE’S WHACKED-OUT, NO-GOOD, REALLY SUCKY, HOT MESS OF A WEDDING
“Exactly why is Bobbie Faye trying to kill the scarecrow again?” Nina asked Trevor, Bobbie Faye’s smoking-hot fiancé, after she’d arrived in her best friend’s back yard. He was leaning oh-so-casually against a tree with one shoulder, facing the “back forty” as Bobbie Faye called the vast expanse of wilderness surrounding their home deep in bayou territory of South Louisiana. To a casual observer, (if they could get past the abs, the biceps, the ass… boy, her girlfriend sure knew how to pick ‘em)… they might think Trevor was completely relaxed, enjoying the scenery of his fiancée decimating a scarecrow. Well, you never really knew, with some couples, what they did for kicks. But Nina was anything but a casual observer and she could feel the tension radiating out from Trevor, his arms crossed tightly, his stubbled jaw, clenched.
Guns and Roses Page 42