Looking at Eric, I simply state, “I need to talk to you in person. Like do you work tomorrow?”
“Not until the afternoon, but you have school.”
“Okay, we are watching a video first period which I saw last year and then I have study hall. We can get together in the morning,” I spit out dramatically.
Cassandra laughs, “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”
That makes me take in a deep breath. “I just came to the realization that I am in love with Jeremy.”
And then there’s silence. “Okay, tell me something I don’t know.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I snap.
“I have known that you two are in love with each other for a while. It’s kind of obvious,” Cassandra declares with a bit of humor. “So, the question is, when are you going to tell Jeremy?”
Sighing, I say, “That’s what I want to talk to you about, but not over the phone.”
“Okay, meet me at the diner on the corner of Lincoln and Madison at 8 o’clock. Sound good?”
“Yeah,” I exhale. “I really need to talk about this.”
She chuckles on the other end of the phone. “It will be fine, just don’t act funny tonight. If you don’t want him to know, just be yourself. If you start to be weird, he will sense that something is wrong.”
“That’s easier said than done,” I respond. “I don’t even know what to say to him.”
“Just be yourself, or hide in your room.”
Good idea. I nod my head. “If I go to bed, then I don’t need to see him.”
“Yup, so I will see you in the morning then,” Cassandra says.
“Yeah,” I reply. “I will be there. You can count on that.”
“Try and have a good night Isabelle,” she states. “It will be fine.”
My eyebrows rise, “Yeah, sure it is.”
“It will. See you tomorrow, okay?”
“Yup,” I retort without any enthusiasm.
Cassandra laughs, “Bye,” and hangs up.
I put my phone down and then look at Eric. “I am having breakfast with her tomorrow.”
He smiles, “That’s good. You will have someone to talk to that knows Jeremy.”
“Yeah,” I exhale. “Thank you for everything Eric. I mean it. You are a great guy.”
“Thanks,” he replies. “I should get home though. I may be 18, but my mom is still picky about school nights and staying out late.”
Scooting over, I give him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Have a good night. If you need to talk, call me,” Eric states ever so sweetly.
I smile and get out of the car. For a few seconds, I just stand there, staring up at our windows. Well, I can’t wait out here forever. It feels like there are lead weights in my shoes. I make my way up to the apartment. When I get to the door, I find it locked. Weird. I get out my key and open it up.
The apartment is in complete darkness. Jeremy must still be gone. Good, I quickly dash to my room. I shut the door and take a breath. What in the world am I going to do? Go to sleep, that is what I am going to do. With much haste, I strip off my clothes and put on pajamas. After that I dart into the bathroom, to brush my teeth and stuff. I almost make it, almost. As I am spitting out toothpaste, I hear the door open.
“Isabelle?” I hear Jeremy yell. Not wanting to say anything, I just stand there, letting the water run. A few seconds later, Jeremy appears at the bathroom door. “Did you not hear me?”
“Oh what?” I stutter. “No, I am just getting ready for bed.”
Jeremy gives me an odd look. “Did the date go so badly that you are rushing off to bed?”
Okay, I can’t lie, but I can be vague. “I had a lot of fun. We had a lot of fun. It was great.”
He just nods and looks at the floor. “That’s good. Are you guys going out again?”
“Don’t have any plans as of right now, but I am off to bed!” I exclaim a little too fast. Walking forward, I brush past Jeremy.
“Whoa, what’s going on? Did something happen? You are acting like there is a rocket in your butt to go into your room. Did he do something?” Jeremy asks hotly.
Shaking my head, I reply, “No, he was a perfect gentleman.”
With very thoughtful eyes, Jeremy looks at me. “There is something different.”
“Nothing is different,” I squeak. Taking a deep breath, I calm myself. “I am just tired and have school tomorrow. So, I am going to bed.”
“Alright,” Jeremy replies, sounding totally unconvinced. He bends over to kiss me on the forehead and I back up away from him. That may have been a little obvious. Jeremy stands up straight. “I see that the date went really well. I am sorry. I know I need to keep my distance.”
My mouth opens to speak and nothing comes out. “You can kiss me,” I finally whisper.
“You backed away from me. If you are interested in Eric, I shouldn’t be doing that anymore,” Jeremy points out.
“No,” I say, grabbing ahold of his shirt. “You can kiss me.”
He laughs. “Well, if that isn’t a sign it’s alright.” Jeremy bends over and places his lips on my forehead, and it feels so good. I don’t know how I missed it before, because now it is so obvious. I am in love with him. When Jeremy pulls away, I just want to yank him back to me. Okay, this is going to be more difficult than I thought.
“I am going to sleep now,” I murmur, savoring the touch of him.
“I have to shower. I stink,” Jeremy declares. “Ten miles is even long for me.”
“You smell just fine,” I whisper ever so quietly under my breath.
Jeremy brings his head down. “What did you say?”
“Nothing,” I reply loudly. “Going to sleep.” With that I turn and go to my room.
“No,” Jeremy says, following me. “I want to know what you said.”
I turn around and emphasize, “I didn’t say anything.”
Taking a step closer, he insists, “No, you did and I want to know what it was.”
“Nothing,” I giggle, shoving him out of my room. “Go shower.”
“Want to join me?” Jeremy teases. “Eric doesn’t need to know.” My heart starts beating rapidly. The expression on my face must have changed, because Jeremy looks at me funny. “What are you thinking right now?”
Groaning, I shove him even harder. “Go, go shower. I am going to bed.”
“Can I join you when I am done?” He asks.
That makes me laugh nervously. “You are pushing it tonight.”
“You are getting flustered. Why are you so flustered? What happened tonight?”
“Nothing happened,” I growl. “Go shower, I need to go to bed.”
Jeremy bends down and kisses me gently on the lips. Pulling away, he furrows his eyebrows. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s fine,” I reply, blushing really hard.
“So, not to over step my bounds, but did he kiss you tonight?” Jeremy asks quietly.
I nod my head. “Yeah.”
“And, how was your first kiss moment?” Unable to find words, I just keep quiet. “Was it bad?”
“No,” I say, and then pause. “It was sweet.”
Snorting, Jeremy retorts, “Not heart pounding?”
Frowning, I don’t even know what to say. I can’t lie to him. “No, it wasn’t, but it was sweet and nice. Isn’t that what it is supposed to be?”
Obviously, fighting a smile, Jeremy replies, “Depends on what you want from someone. If that is the case, I don’t need to worry about you jumping into bed with him.”
“Jeremy!” I gasp. “There has only been one time!”
Suddenly, the smile is gone from his face. “One time, what?”
“Nothing,” I quickly spit out. “Good night.” I slam the door and cover my mouth. I did not just say that. What were you thinking Isabelle?
There is a slow knock on the door. “Isabelle, dear, what were you talking about?”
<
br /> “GO….TAKE…..A….SHOWER,” I exclaim loudly.
“You and I aren’t finished young lady, but good night,” Jeremy says through the door.
“Night,” I mutter, going to sit down on my bed. I put my hand on my face and fall backwards. This is a mess, which will end in disaster.
I can’t sleep. It is an impossible goal, and what do I do when I can’t sleep? Go to Jeremy, and obviously that isn’t going to help the situation. Finally, it’s five in the morning and I have slept maybe three hours off and on. Throwing back my covers I get up. This is ridiculous. I open my door and walk down the hallway. Jeremy is asleep in his bed. I quietly shut his door.
Taking a deep breath, I go and make a pot of coffee. I am so flipping tired. Ugh. I lay my head on my arms on top of the counter. My mind won’t stop racing, but I am soooo tired. Suddenly, I feel hands wrap themselves around my hips. “You should be careful about who can sneak up behind you.”
Jumping, I spin around to find Jeremy standing there. “You scared me!”
“That was the point. What in the world are you doing? It’s five o’clock in the morning. You don’t have to be up for another hour and half. I don’t want to be up for another hour and a half!”
“Go back to bed,” I whisper. “I just couldn’t sleep.”
Jeremy brings his hand up to my face. “What’s wrong? Why didn’t you come in by me if you can’t sleep, or is it about Eric?”
I look at him and say, “I can’t talk about it Jeremy.”
With a hurt look, Jeremy replies, “You can’t talk about it…..with me? Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” I emphasize. “That is definitely not the problem.”
“Talk to me Isabelle. Come on, it’s me. Nothing will shy me away.”
That makes me snort. “I know Jeremy, but this I don’t think I can talk to you about.”
“Ouch,” he says, brushing past me. We lean against the counter next to each other. “Is it a sex thing?”
“What!?” I gasp. “NO!”
He throws his hands up. “Then what can’t you talk to me about!?”
“Jeremy, please,” I plead. “Just leave it alone. I am fine.”
Rolling his eyes, he groans, “You are awake at five in the morning. WE are awake at five in the morning. Something is wrong.”
Unable to help it, I yawn loudly. “Sorry,” I say. “I am exhausted. I slept for three hours.”
“Oh, this is stupid,” Jeremy states. He grabs my hand and pulls me to his bedroom. I kind of resist but on the other hand, it’s what I want. “Come on,” he sighs. Jeremy grabs me and yanks me down onto the bed. He pulls me close and whispers, “Go to sleep.” It doesn’t take but a minute before I am.
When 6:30 rolls around, I don’t want to get up. I grab Jeremy’s blanket and yank it over my head. He starts to pull it away. “Let me sleep,” I mumble.
“You need to get ready for school,” he replies. “I showered last night. So, I don’t need the bathroom.”
I yank the blanket back up. “Sleep, need sleep,” I moan.
Jeremy jumps on top of me. “Don’t make me start tickling you.” I just grumble in reply. “I have to get dddrreeesssssseeeddd. So you need to get out of bed or close your eyes, or if you want to watch, you can do that, too.”
Now, there is an option. I throw back the blanket and whine, “Fine, I will get up. So sleepy.”
“I made a new pot of coffee. The one you made earlier was kind of strong.”
“It was five in the morning and I was half asleep,” I reply. “Now, get off of me, so I can go take a shower.”
Chuckling mischievously, Jeremy says, “You didn’t ask nicely.”
“PLEASE, get off of me, before I pee in your bed.”
“Eww,” Jeremy exclaims, rolling off of me. I get up and go into the bathroom. Obviously, Jeremy doesn’t care. He yells through the door. “Now, what is going on with you? There is something up and you won’t tell me what it is. Remember, we promised to not lie about things.”
With a heavy sigh, I shout, “I am not lying. I just don’t want to talk about it. You don’t tell me everything!”
“Yes, I do,” he yells back.
“Really? I doubt that,” I say. “Jeremy, make me one promise that you will leave this alone. I am fine. I am not hurt. There is nothing to be worried about.”
There is a dramatic sigh from the other side of the door. “Fine.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. This is going to be really hard. Time to put on a game face. For the rest of the morning, I keep to myself. Jeremy doesn’t seem to notice, because he continues to talk to me, no matter where I am. I respond as normally as I can pull off.
Finally, I am ready to go. “Okay, see you later!” I yell, as I open the door.
“Wait!” Jeremy retorts. I turn and look at him. “What about my good-bye kiss?” My cheeks light on fire. He gives me a quizzical look. “Why are you blushing?”
“I am not! I am just warm,” I snap, trying to come up with an excuse.
Jeremy shakes his head and bends over to kiss me on the cheek. “Have a good day at school.”
“Thanks, have a good day at work,” I reply. He smiles and winks. I quickly turn and leave. Why is he being so goofy? Can he sense that I am suddenly drawn to him? Is it obvious? Oh my gosh, I have to talk to Cassandra!
When I get to the café, it is rather busy. I have never been here before, so I walk in a little lost. As I am standing up by the front counter, I hear a loud whistle. Half the restaurant looks in that direction. Cassandra is sitting at a booth waving her hand. Laughing, I shake my head and walk over to her. “You are crazy,” I say, as I sit down.
“You know it,” she replies happily. “SSSOOOOOO, let’s get down to it. How did you finally figure out you were in the love with the stud we call Jeremy?”
I groan and put my face in my hands. “Eric is the one who pointed it out to me….on our date, and then he kissed me to prove his theory. If that isn’t the most horrible end to a date, I don’t know what is.”
“OUCH to Eric,” Cassandra exclaims. “I hate to say it to you girl, but it has been really obvious.”
“Do Kent and Josh know?” I ask, a little worried.
Cassandra shakes her head. “No, they haven’t said anything to me at least. Josh mentioned you were cute when Jeremy wasn’t around, but that was about it.”
“Josh said what?” I gasp.
“He thinks you are adorable,” Cassandra replies. “Yeah, if it weren’t for Jeremy, I think Josh would like you, except there is a major age difference and he would be the dirty older guy.”
Rubbing my temples, I moan, “I have never had a guy like me and suddenly Eric and Josh want to date me.”
“But they aren’t even in the running, it’s Jeremy. You know he is in love with you, too,” Cassandra states seriously.
“He said that?” I yell.
She shakes her head. “No, but the way he acts around you, it’s really obvious.”
“I don’t think it is,” I snort. “Jeremy goes for gorgeous girls, who giggle and flirt. He sees me every morning with messy hair and crumpled pajamas. Not something you get attracted to.”
“I would like to point out, that he saw you dressed up like a breathtakingly beautiful princess on the night you went to formal. How did he act at the dance?”
I think about it for a second. “He was really touchy. Like he held my hand under the table and danced with me. Jeremy stated that we have to have a song and it was a horribly cheesy love song. Wait,” I say, pausing. “He was going to kiss me. At least I think he was.”
“See! Told you so! How has he been reacting to Eric?” Cassandra inquires with a grin.
“Way over protective, but Josh and Kent would behave the same way! Josh and Kent are like the older brothers I never had. Jeremy could view himself the same way…..though that would be gross because he kisses me on the lips. Wait, Josh kissed me on the lips, too. No more older brother
analogies,” I declare solidly, grimacing.
“Stop over thinking everything,” Cassandra says. “Look at the way Jeremy is around you. I have never seen him act that intimately with a girl before, and I have seen him with a ton of chicks. He is NEVER that open or affectionate with ANYONE.”
Frowning, I sigh, “Yeah, but we said we loved each other, but it was specifically as friends.”
“Did he say that or did you say that?”
That makes me think for a second. “I don’t remember. I think maybe me.”
“Isabelle, you need to tell him. You need to come clean with the whole thing. You should tell him about that night and that you love him. If he is your best friend, he will understand. If he loves you back, then he will REALLY understand,” Cassandra states.
With a groan, I articulate, “He is not in love with me! I am totally not someone he would fall in love with. Look at me! I remind him too much of….well, I just remind him of someone and I don’t think that is going to help put me in the running of girlfriend material.”
“That is the other thing, he told you about himself. As far as I know, he has never told anyone anything about his past,” Cassandra points out.
I shake my head. “No, he has never said anything to anyone. I am the first, but that doesn’t mean he is in love with me.”
“Tell him Isabelle. You need to at least be honest with him. Jeremy deserves that.”
“I am too scared to. I am so afraid of rejection. If he doesn’t feel the same way, it’s going to be awkward. I will probably have to move back to my mom’s,” I mumble, hanging my head.
With a moan, Cassandra rolls her eyes. “He isn’t going to make you move out and definitely not back to your mom’s, and if he is a jerk for some reason, you can move in with me. You will have to get a job, but we would make it work. I cannot imagine Jeremy doing that to you.”
There is silence for a while as I twiddle with my napkin. A waitress suddenly appears, “Can I get you something?”
“Do you have vodka?” I ask.
“Isabelle!” Cassandra yells, roaring with laughter. She turns to the waitress, “We will have two coffees and two danishes, please.”
The waitress nods her head and gives me a weird look. I just smile. Looking back at Cassandra, I ask, “What should I do?”
The Art of Life Page 49