by Mary Eason
“Because I’m going to make you breakfast, that’s why.” He reached for her from behind and pulled her back against his body, kissing her neck.
“Oh.” Tell him about the baby. But for some reason, Kate couldn’t get the words out. She couldn’t let herself trust Alex completely just yet.
“So, do you like pancakes?” Alex asked again, watching her reaction in the mirror. She laughed and shook her head.
“I love pancakes, but I’m late as it is and Brandy is going to be furious with me. We have a huge shipment due in this morning. And I need to get the holiday display up today.”
She turned to leave, but he caught her hand. “Alex,” Kate pleaded with a little laugh. Her gaze went to his. For a moment, she stopped. Something was wrong. Her heart skipped a beat. It was there in his eyes. Then he smiled and it disappeared. Alex reluctantly let her go. She blew him a kiss from the doorway then walked away, trying to dispel the feeling that something important went unsaid between them.
* * * *
“Dammit,” Alex said quietly to himself as he watched her go. Why couldn’t he just tell her about the bookstore? After all, he’d bought it as a wedding gift to her. So why didn’t he just tell her that. Because she still didn’t trust him completely that’s why. Kate was still expecting something to happen to destroy their happiness again. So was he for that matter.
Shouldn’t hearing he loved her enough to buy the bookstore she loved most as a wedding present be considered a good thing? Of course, it would for two people who trusted each other. But Kate didn’t trust him.
It took all of his patience just to get her to give their marriage a second chance. If she hadn’t found out about the things he’d done for her father, he wondered if she would ever have given him the chance.
But time was running out. Elise Montgomery wasn’t known for keeping secrets. Somehow, he’d managed to convince her to keep silent. She was crazy about Kate, which was the only reason she’d agreed to sell the bookstore to him in the first place, over one of those bigger chains who’d been trying to convince her to sell for years.
He’d tried to reach Elise several times at her sister’s place without any luck. He could only hope he got in touch with her before she blabbed the news to Kate.
“Tonight. I’ll find a way to tell her tonight,” he promised. It had to be tonight or sooner, otherwise if she found out from anyone else, who knows how she’d react to the news.
* * * *
“I was beginning to wonder what happened to you,” Brandy told her the second Kate stepped through the door.
Kate could only smile. In fact, she’d been smiling for weeks.
“Oh, for crying out loud! If I see that guilty little smile of yours one more time…” Brandy tried to sound angry, but Kate knew she was thrilled for her. Everyone around her seemed relieved she and Alex were staying together. Kate wondered why she ever doubted him.
“So have you told him yet?” Kate didn’t have to ask what Brandy meant.
“No, not yet.”
“Well, why not? What’s the matter with you? The man is crazy about you. Tell him he’s going to be a father. I want to see his face.”
“I will. I promise I will soon. I just have to find the perfect moment.”
“Well, you’d better do it soon. Otherwise I’m doing it for you.”
* * * *
“So, how do you like the new boss?” For a moment, Kate had no idea who was calling the store so late. It was after six and Brandy had long ago left for the day. Kate just finished arranging the window display for Thanksgiving and was about to leave as well.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Kate, it’s me—Elise!” The older woman seemed amused by her confusion.
“Oh, Elise, I’m sorry. I didn’t recognize your voice there for a moment. How are you? Have you been having a good time at your sister’s?”
“Yes, it’s wonderful not to have to worry about the store anymore.”
“Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, but I was wondering when I might talk to you about some of my ideas for the Christmas season?”
“Me? Why would you want to discuss it with me? You should be talking to your new boss.”
“My—new—boss?” Kate repeated slowly without understanding. She sank down to the stool behind the register. “What are you talking about, Elise?”
“He hasn’t told you yet! That man!”
“Who?” Kate asked but somehow knew. This was the moment of truth she’d been expecting, for weeks now. “Who hasn’t told me yet?”
“Alex Bradshaw. The new owner of Montgomery Books!”
“Alex owns the bookstore?”
“Well, of course he does, silly. He’s owned it since before you two were married...”
Kate dropped the phone back in its cradle without answering.
She couldn’t believe she’d actually trusted him! She was such an idiot! Believing she could trust someone like Alex after all the things he’d tried to do to her father. He wasn’t capable of telling the truth. She was done with Alex Bradshaw. He could tell the judge whatever lie he chose, but she wasn’t going to spend another minute in his house or in his bed.
She locked up the store and got into her SUV, pulling into the heavy downtown traffic.
Kate picked up the phone and dialed Alex’s office number. He answered right away. He’d told her he was working late.
“You lied to me!” she all but screamed at him. “You looked me square in the face and lied to me!” She was crying so hard it was almost impossible to see the road ahead. She had no idea where she was going. She headed the SUV down Interstate 35 going north while her fingers trembled as they held the phone.
“What are you talking about?” There was just enough caution in his voice for her to know he was stalling for time. Hoping to find another lie she might buy, no doubt.
“You know what I’m talking about, Alex! The store! When did you plan on telling me you’d bought the store?” she demanded.
“Elise—dammit. She got to you first,” he almost sounded sincere. But then Alex was good at fooling her.
“No, she was honest with me. Something you can’t seem to do.”
“Kate, I was going to explain at the beginning, but you wouldn’t listen to anything I tried to say to you. And afterward, well there never seemed to be the right time.”
“Explain what? That you were selling the store out from under me. You knew how much I loved the bookstore. You knew I wanted to buy it someday! Thank God Elise called tonight, otherwise I’d never found out how low you were capable of sinking.”
“What? What are you talking about, Kate? I bought the store—”
“Stop it Alex! Just stop it! Whatever you plan on doing with it, I no longer care. I never want to see you again and this sham of a marriage is over!” Kate hung up the phone and tossed it across the seat. Why had she been so foolish as to trust him again?
Kate drove for a long time listening to the sound of her cell phone’s continuous ring, until she finally had enough and turned it off.
She needed to think. To figure out what she was going to do now. She couldn’t go home. Couldn’t call her father. Hearing about Alex’s latest betrayal would break his heart.
As she headed out of town, her tears begin to subside. None of this made any sense. Why would Alex want to buy the bookstore to resell it? He didn’t need the money and she believed he wasn’t trying to hurt her father any longer. He knew how much she loved the store. Everything he’d done since meeting Kate and her father was to try to make their lives easier. He’d proven his love for her and her father. He wasn’t the type of man to want hurt those he loved.
He loved her.
Kate remembered Elise’s call to Brandy weeks earlier. She’d known about her marriage and yet neither Kate nor Brandy—certainly not her father told her. How then had she known except through Alex?
“Oh—my—God. I’m such an idiot! He bought the store for me,” she said a
s the truth that should have been apparent right from the start slowly dawned.
Kate turned the car around and headed back toward the city. He’d bought the store for her. He’d helped her father financially. In fact, he was like a son to Robert. Everything Alex did he did because he loved them and all she’d done was accuse him of having ulterior motives.
“Please don’t let me be too late,” Kate said as she reached for the phone.
He didn’t answer at the office so she tried their home number, but the answering machine picked up. It was after midnight. Where could he be?
Please don’t let him hate me...
Kate was desperate when she called her father’s number. There was no answer there as well. She tried Alex’s cell phone again and finally reached him. He sounded frantic.
“Kate, thank God. It’s Robert. He’s had another heart attack. I’m with him now. We just arrived at the ER at St. David’s hospital. Please hurry.”
“No, oh dear God, no! Alex, how is he?” she said, her voice shaking with fear.
“I don’t know anything yet. The doctors’ are working on him now. I think you need to come quickly, Kate.”
“I’m on my way. Please don’t let him die.”
It took forever to reach the hospital. Kate found Alex waiting for her outside the ER. He spotted her right away. Kate ran to him and let him take her in his arms.
“He’s okay. He’s going to be okay, Kate,” he told her, smoothing her hair away from her fearful eyes.
“He is? Oh, thank God. Thank you, Alex. Thank you for being there with him.” There was no warmth in his eyes when he looked at her. It was almost as if she were looking at a stranger, not the man who’d once loved her so passionately. Kate couldn’t let herself think about that now and not fall to pieces. Her father needed her to be strong. He didn’t need to know she’d screwed up the only good thing she’d done in a long time.
“I didn’t do anything,” Alex told her in a polite but distant voice. He sounded as if he hated her.
Please God, don’t let that be the case.
“Can I see him? Where is he?”
“Sure, he’s been asking for you. Come, I’ll take you to him.”
Robert looked weak and exhausted, but he was smiling when he spotted her with Alex.
“My baby, I’m okay. I’m okay, Katie. I’m okay,” he repeated as she leaned over and kissed his cheek, before brushing away her tears.
“Daddy, why didn’t you call me? What happened?” she asked, reaching for his hand. Robert’s eyes met Alex.
“Alex, would you give us a moment. I’d like to talk to my daughter alone,” her father told him quietly.
“Sure, I’ll go find the doctor so he can talk to Kate. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Once they were alone, she wanted to reassure herself he was being honest with her. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay, Dad?”
“I’m fine, Katie.” Her father dismissed her fussing. “Alex told me everything. I can’t believe you still think he would hurt you like that.” Kate had to look away from the disappointment in her father’s eyes.
“Dad, I don’t—not really. I was just so upset he hadn’t told me the truth about the store. I don’t know what’s wrong with me anymore. I love him and yet I think I’ve screwed everything up.”
“Yes, you have. Alex is a wonderful man and you are lucky to have such a kind, considerate husband in your life, but his patience is at an end.” Kate flinched at her father’s directness. Had Alex told Robert he couldn’t forgive her?
“Baby, I know I set a terrible example for you of what a husband should be like growing up. I treated your mother inexcusably. And I know I was probably the reason why you got involved with someone like Seth Mathews in the first place. But Alex isn’t like Seth or me. He’s a good man, and he loves you very much. You have to find a way to conquer your doubts, Katie, before it’s too late.”
“I know that. But I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure I know how to conquer my doubts. I don’t want to lose Alex but—” The sound of footsteps outside the door interrupted their conversation.
In the past, Kate met Robert’s doctor several different times when she went with her father for his appointments. Now, he greeted her politely and then began to explain her father’s condition.
“As I explained to your father and husband earlier, what Robert experienced was another mild attack. Probably brought on by excitement. The first initial tests don’t show any significant damage to his heart, but I want to keep him here for a few more days for observation just to be certain. During this time we can decide what our best course of treatment will be.”
Kate was miserable. Her father had been worried about her. This was all her fault.
“He’s going to be fine, but your father needs to rest. Why don’t you and your husband go home and get some as well?” The doctor patted Robert’s hand and added, “I’ll see you in the morning, okay? If you need anything, just have the nurse page me. I’m on call all night.”
Once they were alone, her father told her, “Dr. Wilkes is right. You do look tired. Let Alex drive you home. I think you two have some things to work out. I’ll be fine. I’ll see you both in the morning, okay.”
In spite of Robert’s suggestion that they talk, the trip home was made in silence. When they reached the house, Alex unlocked the door and followed Kate inside.
“Your father’s right, you know. You look tired. You should try and get some sleep.”
When he looked at her, there wasn’t any warmth in his eyes anymore. She’d finally pushed him too far. Alex had reached the end. It was as if he’d already let her go.
Chapter Fifteen
Alex turned away. He couldn’t even look at her anymore. He headed for the kitchen, but Kate followed. She couldn’t let it end like this.
“Alex!” At the hopelessness in her voice, he turned, waiting politely for her to speak. How could she ever hope to win his trust again?
“What is it, Kate?” he asked wearily. There was nothing left of the man who once loved her so deeply.
“I’m sorry.” She hated that her voice actually shook. Hated the tears that were so close.
“For what. For thinking the worst of me?”
“Yes…” She wouldn’t cry. Not now. When so much was at stake.
“Your father told you the truth about the bookstore?” Alex said without any emotion.
“No.” Kate took a hesitant step closer. It was hard to continue in the face of Alex’s cold expression, but she knew she must try. Her future happiness depended on convincing Alex to give her one more chance. “No, I figured it out while I was driving around tonight. I don’t know why I jumped to the wrong conclusion, Alex. I’m sorry. All you’ve ever done for me and for my father was to try to make us happy and love me, and I’ve screwed it all up!”
Something shifted in his eyes. Just a tiny amount of warmth broke through before Alex’s anger replaced it. “That’s all I’ve wanted to do, but as it turns out I’ve only hurt you both.”
“No Alex.”
“I’m the reason your father had his attack tonight, Kate,” Alex admitted bitterly. “It’s my fault.”
“No, that’s not true.” Another tiny step closer, before he moved away. Kate closed her eyes. This was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever done—convincing Alex she deserved his love.
“It is true. I went to his house tonight looking for you. I told him about what happened. That’s when he had the attack. It was because of me.”
“No, Alex.” She touched his arm gently. “It wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I was the one who doubted you.”
“You were right.” He ignored her words. He looked at her without emotion. “This was a mistake. I should have let you get the divorce.”
“No, don’t say that!” The tears at last spilled over. She didn’t try to stop them. “Please don’t say that.”
“I’m sorry, Kate, but it’s true.” He spoke softly. “You
knew it wouldn’t work. You were right. I think we need to separate. I’ve thought about this and I want you to stay here—there’s more room here and Earl likes the backyard. I’ll move in with your father for a while. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything with the judge.”
“No, that’s not what I want. I was wrong, you were right. I love you.”
His laughter cut through her pleas, filled with bitterness, but Kate moved closer. She couldn’t let it end like this.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Alex. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you, I’m sorry…” She shook her head. “Please, give me another chance.”
“Kate.” He closed his eyes but there was just a tiny bit of hesitation. Enough to give her hope.
“Alex, I’m begging you—please. I know I don’t deserve a second chance but I’m asking you for one. I’ll do whatever you want—I’ll get down on my knees if you like. Whatever you want. I’ll find a way to deal with my trust issues. I know now, it wasn’t ever you. It was me. I’m the one who can’t trust. Dad made me see it tonight. So, please, please just give me one more chance. Please don’t leave me.”
“Kate, I can’t live with someone who doesn’t trust me,” he told her quietly. “And I can’t do anything more to prove my love to you.”
“I know that.” Kate brushed at the tears angrily before stepping closer. He didn’t move away this time. She felt her heart grow lighter. “None of this is your fault. I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll do my best never to doubt your love again.”
Alex reached up to touch her cheek. A little more of the coldness left his eyes at the sight of her tears against his fingers.
“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you upset.”
Kate scrubbed at the tears and tried to smile. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine. This is all my fault. I am such an idiot.”
He pulled her into his arms and held her close.
“Shh…Don’t say that. And please don’t cry. We’ll work this out together, I promise. I don’t want to leave you. And this is as much my fault as yours. I knew how hard it would be for you to trust someone after the things you told me about Seth. It didn’t help that I wasn’t honest with you from the start. I should have told you the truth about my past connection to your father before we were married. I should have come clean about my reasons for coming to you that first night. I shouldn’t have rushed you into marriage—” Kate pressed her lips against his and Alex was silent.