by Lucas Coon
“So…”AlexsteppedbacktowardJudas.“…it’snotover,huh?” Hekneltdowninfrontofhim.“Youhaveaknifestickingoutof yourbackandcan’tmove.Basedontheamountofbloodyou’re losing…”Heglanceduptowardhiswound.“Youhave,maybe, twentyminutesleftinthislife.”
“Thiscant…”Judas’breathingwasquickandshallow.“This wasn’tsupposedtohappen.” “Whatwassupposedtohappen,Judas?”Alexstoodup.“You weresupposedtokillme,thenwhat?Wasthatyourredemption? Youtookmeoutofthepicture?”HewalkedtoJudas’side.“Man, that’sindeep,isn’tit?”
“Justleaveme!”Judasyelledasbesthecould.“Justleaveme todie…”
“That’snotgoingtohappen.”Alexplacedhisfootonthe handleoftheknifeandpushedit.JudasscreamedlouderasAlex placedmoreweightontheblade.“Youhavetoadmit,thegirl knew wheretoaim.There’snowayyou’regettingoutofhere.”
“You’dbestmakedamnsureofthat,Alex.”Judasgrinned.“Go ahead,killme.Dowhatyoudobest…”Alexpausedfora moment.Hemovedhisbootfrom thehandleandbentdown.“You arejustlikemyfather;amonsterwithnorealpurpose.”
“There’sonemajordifferencebetweenmeandyourfather though,Judas.”Alexgrabbedthehandleoftheknifeand removeditfrom Judas’body.“Icamebacktosavemychild.I riskedmylifeforher;that’snotsomethingAndreieverdidfor you,isit?”
“It’snotgoingtomatter.”Judas’stoppedstrugglingandplaced hisheadonthetile.“Noneofthismattersanymore.It’snotover, andyouknow it.”Hesmirkedagainthroughthepain.“I guaranteeyouthatthisisn’ttheend.Youandyourdaughter won’tmakeit,notwithyoubeingherfather.Youwon’tbeableto keephersafe.”
“Maybe…”AlexstareddownatJudas.“That’salwaysa possibility.Icanguaranteeyouonethingthough.”Hepushed Judasontohissidewithhisfoot.“We’regoingtomakeitahellof alotfurtherthanyouwill…”
“So,whatnow…”Judastookinanotherdeepbreath.“You stabmeintheheart?Slitmythroat?How areyougoingtodoit?” Judaslaughed.“Comeon,Alex;I’m certainyou’vethoughtabout thisoverandoveragain.”
“Ihave.”Alexnodded.“You’reright.”
“Thendoit.”Judasstaredathim withasmuchaggressionas hecouldmuster.“Killme.Endmypatheticlife.”Alexstaredinto theeyesofthedyingmaninfrontofhim.Hewascorrect;Alex hadthoughtaboutthismomentseveraltimessincetheparking garage.Hehadthoughtaboutthenumberofpainfulwayshe couldtakehim out.Hethoughtaboutthepleasurehewouldget from seeingthismanfadeawayinfrontofhim.Itwasthese thoughtsthatremindedhim ofwhoheusedtobe.Judaswasn’t longforthisworldasitwas;itwasanow orneversituation.“Kill me!”
Alexliftedtheknifeandthrustitdown.Thebladeenteredthe softpartofJudas’calf,directlyabovehisankle.Judas’agonizing scream haddecreasedinvolume,hewasstartingtofadeout.He wouldfallunconscioussoon,thenhewoulddiefrom bloodloss. AlexstoodupandloomedoverJudasforasecondbeforeshaking hishead.
“I’m notgoingtokillyou.”Alexsteppedback.“I’llletyoudie slowly.I’llletyoutakethetimetocometotermswithwhythis happened.”Hemotionedtowardtheknifethatwasstickingoutof Judas’leg.“That’sjustgoingtomakesureyoudon’tgetthe chancetofollow us.Idon’tsuggestremovingit,that’llmakeit worse.”Heturnedandsteppedtowardthedoor.
“No!Don’tyoudareleavemelikethis!”Judasyelledout.“Just killme!Endthis!” “Haveaniceday,Judas.”Alexgrabbedthedoorhandle.“Tell yourfatherhelloforme.I’m sureI’llseehim inhell…”Heturned thehandleandopenedthedoor.
“Youbastard.You’regoingtoregretthis!It’snotover, Alexander!It’snotover!”Judascontinuedhisrant.“Youwillpay forthis!Ipromiseyou!Youwillpay!”Alexpulledthedoorshutas hewalkedbackintothehallway.Therewereafew moremuffled wordsfollowedbysilence,thenanotheragonizingscream inpain.
“Itoldhim nottoremoveit…”Alexshookhisheadandwalked downthehallway.Heturnedthecornerandsaw theotherthree waitingforhim neartheendofthehallway.Itwasnicetoseeall threeofthem,andevennicertoseethem safe.Hisdaughterstill hadthelookofshockonherface,butAlexknew shewouldbe fineintheend.Itwasn’tapleasantsituation,butthememory wouldfadequickly.MitchellandLillybothlookedtobeinhigher spiritsnow thatAlexhadcomebackintothepicture.
“Didyou–” “Didyoukillhim?”CiarainterruptedMitchell’sinquirywith thesamequestionheintendedtoask.Mitchellglancedather, thenbacktoAlex.
“No,Ididn’t.”Alexstoodfirm infrontofthegroup.“Hewanted meto,butIdidn’tgivehim whathewanted.”
“Ishegoingtocomeafterus?”Ciarastaredatherfather,her voicereflectedterror. “Yeah,Alex,Idon’tknow ifleavinghim isagoodidea…” Mitchellshookhishead.“Imean,wealwaysthoughtthesame withDenver.Welefthim alivetwiceandhecameafterus.”
“Hewon’t,trustme.”AlexputhishandonCiara’sshoulder. “Hewillneverbeabletohurtanyoneeveragain.Ipromise;I didn’tkillhim,butImadesurehewon’tmakeitoutofthatroom. JudasGrigorevwillsoonbenomore.Hell,theGrigorevlinewill soonbenomore…”
Despitethemorbidrealityofthatstatement,itwasonethat broughtasenseofrelieftobothMitchellandAlex.Neitherman wantedmorepeopletodie,nordideitherofthem wanttobe involvedinanyone’sdeath,butendingtheGrigorevfamilyline wasastepintherightdirectionfortheremainderoftheirlives. Theybothwantedtomoveon,andthiswasgoingtobehow it started.ThechaptersoftheirlivesthatinvolvedAndreiand Judaswereofficiallyover.Allthatwasleftwastogetoutofthe hospital.
“Weshouldgetbacktothegarage…”Alexspoketheonly thoughtonhismindatthispoint.
“Yeah,weshould.Comeon,Lilly.”Mitchellstartedtowalk forwardwithLillyintow.Alexwrappedhisarm aroundCiaraand followedclosebehind.Theytraveledslowlydownthehallways andbackintothemainlobby.
“So,areyoureallyplanningontakinghertoWyoming?Kind ofanodddestination,isn’tit?”Alexlaughedunderhisbreath.“I mean,what’sinWyoming?”
“There’salotinWyoming.Alotofnationalparksandnatural landmarks.”Mitchellsmirked.“Honestlythough,Ijustchose Wyomingbecauseitwasn’there.Thatwasmylogic.”
“Hell,Mitch;Chicagoisn’there.Bythatlogicyoucouldgo anywhere.”Alexcontinuedthisthought.“Chicagowouldbecloser atthat…”
“I’vesettledonWyoming.”Mitchell’svoicewassomewhat stern.“Don’tmakemequestionit,please.Otherwise,Imayend upthinkingsomewhereelseisbetterandthenIstarttothink aboutit;nobodywantsthattohappen…”Mitchellchuckled. “How aboutyou?You’regoingtoAlaska?”
“Yep!”Thegroupenteredtheelevator.“It’sasfarnorthasyou cangetinthiscountry,plusthesceneryisgorgeous.”Heglanced overtoMitchellasheleanedforwardtopressthebuttonmarked withacapital‘P’.“Haveyoueverbeen?”
“No,unfortunately.” “Whenyougetsettled,givemeacallandI’llflyyouup.”Alex smirked.“Bothofyou,ofcourse.Lillyhastoexperienceitatleast onceinherlife.”
“Isn’tAlaskabythenorthpole?”LillylookedupatAlex. “Uh…”Alexstareddownather.“Sure,somethinglikethat.” “Aretherepolarbearsthere?”Shesmiledupathim.
“Oh,great.Now you’vedoneit.”Mitchellrolledhiseyesand smiled.
“Ah,thechildhasathingforpolarbears.”Alexlaughedand lookedbacktowardtheopeningdoorsoftheelevator.“Well,Lilly, Ihonestlydon’tknow.Iknow thatpartsofAlaskagetalotof snow,so…”Heshrugged.“…maybe?”
“Thatwouldbeneat.Ilikepolarbears.”Thelittlegirlmade hercommentandsmiledwidely.
“Thenit’ssettled.Youguyswillcomeupandwe’llfindsome polarbears.”Alexsteppedintothegaragewithhisarm around Ciara;MitchellandLillyfollowedimmediatelybehind.Theyall walkedtowardtheparkingspotsthatheldthemilitaryvehicle andAlex’soldpickup.Theystoodinsilenceforamomentasthey tookintherealityofthesituation;thiswastheendoftheirroad together.AlexwouldgetinhistruckwithCiaraandstarttheir longroadnorth.Mitchellwasgoingtotakethemilitaryvehicle west.Bothmenwerecertainoftheirownsuccess,theyboth plannedonmakingittotheirdestination.Neithermanwas willingtoconcedetothepossibilitythatanythingelsecouldgo wrong.No,theyhadalreadybeatentheodds.
“So…”Alexranhishandthroughhishairwithhisfreehand, hisfingerspulledthegreaseoffthestrands.“Ineedashower.”
“Metoo…”Ciaramadeherquietcomment.“Myhairisa mess.”
“Ithinkit’spretty.”Lillycomplimentedherwithanothersmile. ‘Thanks.”Ciarasmiledback,shewasgoingtomisstheneverendingoptimism thatwasLilly.“Yourhairlookspretty,too.”
“No,it’stangled.”SheturnedtoMitchell.“CanIgobrushmy hair,misterMitchell?”
“Ofcourse.It’snotlocked.”Mitchellmotionedtowardthe truck.
Lillyrantothebackdoorandflungitopen.Shehoppedin andstartedtopullhercaseapart.
“IthinkIaskedthisalready,butareyougoingtobeableto tellheraboutherparents?”Alexwatchedherthrow variousitems intotheseat.
“Maybesomeday.”Mitchellstaredattheconcrete. “That’sfair.”AlexglancedbacktoMitchell.“You’lldofine,
man.It’sobviousyoucareabouther.Yourfriendmadetheright choiceleavingherinyourhands;Idon’tthinkshecouldbein betterhands.”
“IfIcanbehalfthefatheryouare,Alexander…”Mitchell glancedup.HeheldhishandouttowardAlex.
“Areyougoodtostand?”AlexmotionedtoCiara,shenodded andAlexremovedhisarm from aroundher.Hereachedoutand placedhishanddirectlyinMitchell’swithafirm grip.Alexsmiled andpulledMitchellincloserandpattedhim ontheback. “Thanksforyourhelp.”
“Anytime.”Mitchellreturnedthegesture.Hesteppedbackand lookedovertoCiara.“Youkeepthismaninline,alright?”He smirkedatherandthenturnedbacktolookatLilly.“Well, guys…”
“Yeah,yougetoutofhere.”Alexmotionedtowardthetruck. “GetoutofherebeforeIbreakintotearsandconfessmylove.” Alexwipedhiseyesandsniffedin.“Imean,you’rejustsucha greatguy…”
“AndI’m gone.”Mitchellturnedandstartedtowalkaway.He turnedbackandgrinnedatAlex.“Sorry,pal,butI’m notready forsomeonenew.”
“You’renotmytypeanyway!”Alexshoutedathim ashe enteredthedriver’sseatofthevehicle.Theenginestartedup withalow rumble;AlexwatchedasMitchelllookedbackandsaid somethingtoLilly.Sheplacedherbrushbackintoherpackand pulledtheseat-beltacrossherchest.Oncehewascertainthat shewasbuckledin,Mitchelldidthesame.Hereacheddownand shiftedthevehicleintodrive.Hestaredattheothertwoonemore timebeforeheliftedhishandtowavegoodbye.Thevehiclerolled awayfrom them anddowntheramp,withinafew momentsit wasoutofsight.
“Well,dad…”CiaralookedupatAlex;hestaredathispickup truck.Itwasnicetohaveitbackinhispossession.Heonly hopeditwouldgetthem asfarastheyneeded.“Dad?”
“Oh,sorry.Iwasjustthinking.”HeglancedovertoCiara. “Whatwereyousaying?”
“Iwasjustasking…”Ciaramethiseyeswithasmile.“…now what?”
“So,now what?”Alexstaredaroundtheroom withafrantic demeanor.“Whatdowedo?Istheresomethingthatweneedto do?DoIneedtogoaheadandcalladoctorin?”Heturnedtoward thedoorandstartedtowalkawayfrom thehospitalbed.
“Alex!”Holly’svoicewasquiet,butmaintainedademanding tone.“Youneedtocalm down,allshedidwascough.” “Areyousure?Areyouabsolutelysurethatitwasjustacough andnotherlungsfailing,orsomethinglikethat?”Alexturnedback towardherwithafranticlook.“Imean,she’sstillfairlynew tothe world,andshe’sstillgettingusedtothewholebreathingthing.”He shookhishead.“No,Idon’ttrustit;I’m gettingadoctor.”
“AlexanderLangley.”Hollyonceagainspokesternlytohim.He pausedandstaredather,therewasalookshe’dneverseeninhis eyes.Itwasapureglow thatemanatedfear;themanthatshe’d married,themanthatwasthebigtoughsoldier,genuinelylooked likehewasabouttocry.“Ifyouhaven’tnoticed,shestopped.”Alex continuedtostareather,thenshiftedhiseyestothetinyhumanin herarms.Therewereseveralmomentsbeforehismindcaughtup withthesituation.
“Oh,yeah…”Alexslowlystartedtoshufflebacktowardthe bed.“Iguessshedidstop,didn’tshe.”Hewalkedaroundandsat ontheplasticchairnextthatwasplacedmeticulouslynexttothe bed.“So,she’sOKthen?”
“She’sfine.”Hollylookeddownatthesmallchild;hereyes wereclosedandshewasbreathingslowly.“She’sjustastiredasI am.Seemslikethiswholethinghastakenalotoutofbothofus.”
“Icanimagine.”Alexleanedinwardandstaredathisdaughter. “It’scrazytomethatapersonsotinycanexist.Imean,Iknow we wereallthissizeatsomepoint,butit’sjustsoweirdtothink about.”
“Whoareyou?”HollyturnedherheadtolookatAlex.“Yousure ashellaren’tmyhusband.”
“Uhh…”Alexstaredatherinconfusion.“I… OK…”
“You’reatotallydifferentperson;I’veneverseenthissideof you,Alexander.”Hollyadjustedslightly.Shemovedherarm slowly tomakesureshedidn’tdisturbCiara.“You’vealwaysbeenthebig badsoldier;walkingaroundwithyourmacho-manbravado.We haveachildandnow you’retotallydifferent.”Alextookinthe wordsthatHollyhadthrownathim.Shewasright;hedidn’tfeel thesame.TheminuteCiarahadenteredtheworld,something insidehim seemedtoclick.Thelastseveralyearsinthemilitary, thelastseveralyearsasaspecialoperationssoldierdidn’tmatter. Hisranks,hispromotions,histraining;itallseemedsopetty.None ofitpreparedhim forbringinganew lifeintothisworld;infactit haddonetheopposite.Now thathewaslookingatsuchafragile being,hismindwasswimmingwithregrets;hisheartfeltwarmer andhadn’tsloweditspacewithinthelastday.Nothinghehad beenassignedindutyhadgivenhim anysortofanxiety;his newborndaughtercoughedacoupletimesandhethrew himself intoapanicattack.“Alex?Areyoualright?”
“Oh,what?”AlexlookedupatHolly.Hiseyeswerewideas theywerefixedonthesleepingchild.“I’m fine.”
“What’swrong?”Holly’svoicehadasoundofconcern.
“Ithinkyou’reright.”Alex’seyesmethers.“Ithinkyoumay actuallyberightaboutwhatyoujustsaid.”
“What?Thatyou’renotmyhusband?”Hollysmirked.“Well,I guess,ifyouhavethepapersonyou…” “Yes,that.”Alexshookhishead.“No,wait,notthat…”He laughed.“That’snotwhatIwasgoingfor.Imeant…”Hestaredat hisdaughteragain.“Holly,haveyouthoughtaboutthefuture any?”
“I’vethoughtaboutthings,yes.”Hollystaredathim confused. “Youarereferringtoher,right?” “Notjusther.”Alexstoodupandwalkedtowardthefootofthe bed.“Imeaneverything.”
“Alright,you’regoingtohavetoexplainwhatyou’retalking about.”Holly’ssmilefadedintoaslightsmirk.“You’renotmaking anysense.”
“Imean,just,everything.”Alexshookhisheadagain.“Wehave adaughternow;wemadeatinyandfragilehuman.Wecreateda miniatureversionofourselves.”Alexleanedwithhishandsonthe barsofthebed.“She’ssuchapureandinnocentlittle…”Alex shuffledthroughhiswords.“…thing.”
“She’saperson.”HollyshotherdirectstatementatAlex.“She’s notathing.Youcan’ttreatherlikeathing.Ifyoudo,childservices willcomeknockingonourdoortotakeourtinypersonaway.”She smiledagain.“Youunderstandthat,right,Alex?”
“No,Iknow she’snotlikeanaccessoryorsomethinglikethat. That’snotwhatIwastryingtosay.”Alexstoodstraightandstared athisnew family.TherelationshipbetweenHollyandhimselfhad beenbumpyatfirst;therewerethingsthathappenedbetween them thatneitherwouldeverwanttodiscussinpublic.Despite this,theywerehere.Theywereinthehospitalwiththenewest additiontotheirfamily;CiaraKatherineLangley.“Ijustmeantthat she’ssuchafragilebeing.I’m notusedtodealingwithfragility, youknow?LookatwhatIdoforaliving;I’m military.Fora significantportionofmylifeI’vebeentrainedtobethetoughest guyintheroom.I’vebeenscreamedat,calledeverynameinthe booksbyothersoldiers,helduphighonapedestalforbeinga hard-ass…”AlexglancedbackatCiara.“Now,Ihaveher.Ihave thisbeautifullittlegirltogivetherestofmylifeto,todevoteevery wakingminutetoprotecting.”
“Alright,I’m withyousofar.”Holly’sfacewasbright;Alexcould tellthatshewasappreciatinghisstatement. “Now thatI’m sayingthesewords,everythingisreallystarting tomakealotmoresense.Sheneedsme,she’salwaysgoingto needme.”Alexmovedtositdownagain.Ashelandedonthe chair,therewasasoftknockonthedoor.
“Holdthatthought,Alex.”Hollyturnedherheadtofacethe door.“Youcancomein.”
“Hello!”Anexcitednursewalkedintheroom,anolderwoman followed.“Hey,Holly!How isshedoing?”
“She’sdoingjustfine.She’sbeenpassedoutforabitnow.” “That’sgreat!”Thenurse’svoicewashigherpitchedasshe respondedwithanever-endingamountofexcitement.“Thisis DoctorRiley,she’stheheadofourmaternalward.Shewantedto comeinanddiscussafew thingswithyou.It’sallverystandard andnormalprotocol,nothingtobeworriedabout.”
“OK,that’sfine.”Hollyrespondedwithaflattone.Theextra peopleintheroom,alongwithallthetalkinghadcausedCiarato wakeup.Shestartedtomoveandmadeagroaningnoise.“Oh,no. Don’tdothat,please…”
“Uhoh,lookslikewemayhavedisturbedher.”Thenurse offeredupafakefrown.“Sorryaboutthat.” “No,it’sfine.”Hollylookeddownatherdaughter.“Itwasbound tohappeneventuallyright?”
“I’lltakeher.”Alexstoodup;allthreewomenturnedtolookat him atthesametime.“Oh,I… uh…”
“No,no,youcan.”HollyshiftedtowardAlex.“Iguessyoure
ally haven’tyet,haveyou?”
“Notreally.”Alexfocusedonher.“Imean,youhavetodealwith thatrealquickso,whynot?Itwon’tbeabigdeal,right?” “Notatall,goahead.”Hollyliftedthesmallchildfrom her restingspot.Herbrighteyeswereopenandrandomlystaring aroundtheroom withoutpurpose,untiltheymetwithAlex’s.He reachedoutandwrappedhisarm aroundherashepulledher closer.Hollyturnedtodiscussthevariousthingswiththetwo otherwomenandAlexplacedallofhisfocusonhisdaughteras shestaredathim.
“Hello,Ciara.”Hewhispereddirectlyather.Shestaredathim withnew eyesandalackofunderstanding;shequietlymade variousgruntingnoises.“Youhavesuchbeautifuleyes.”Alexkept hisstareatherandthoughtabouteverythingthathadtakenplace inhislife.Nothingcomparedtothisexactmoment,shewashislife now.Shewasgoingtoneedhim tokeephersafe,andhewas goingtoneedhertokeephim sane.“Iknow allthisisnew toyou, andIknow thatyouhavenocluewhatI’m saying,butIwantto tellyousomething…”Hekepthisarm aroundhertightly.“Iwant youtoknow thatIloveyou,andthatI’m alwaysgoingtobethere foryou.Nomatterwhathappens,nomatterwhatobstacleIhave tofacetogettoyou,Iwillalwaysbethereforyou.”Thesmallchild remainedquietassheslightlyflailed,attemptedtounderstandthe purposeoftheextremitiesthatshehadn’tneededpriortobeing born.Herfacewaspalebutitlitupbrightlybytheinnocenceand hopethatwasheldinherstare,justwaitingtoescape,justwaiting tomakeitsmarkontheworld.Therewassomethingaboutthe stareofthenewbornthatmadeAlexfeeldifferent.Theworldfelt different.Thiswasthestartofsomethingnew.“I’m goingtoretire. I’m goingtogoinonMonday,andI’m tellingmycommanding officerthatIcan’tdoitanymore.Ican’tkeepputtingmyselfin situationswhereImaynotmakeithome;Ican’tdothattoyou, Ciara.”
“Whatarewegoingtodoformoney?”Hollywasstaring intentlyathim.Alexhadn’tnoticedthatshehadfinishedwiththe othertwo.“Imean,Iknow yourretirementwillcoveralot,but you’realittleyoungtobepullingfrom that,aren’tyou?”
“I’lltransfertothelocalbaseandjustdowhateverthere.I’m certainthey’llbewillingtostationmenearby.Trustme,my commanderwillwanttokeepmeon.Ijustwon’tdoanythinglikeI have.”